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The ambience of this particular establishment had always successfully soothed Nikolai’s nerves after a stressful day at work. Music quietly played in the background, the noises of cutlery and plates rattling and the chatter of the other guests seemed so distant in his usual spot. Said spot was located near one of the restaurant’s corners, a large window pane on his left with the skyline as his view and a small wall of decorative greenery to his right. It consisted out of many different flowers that adorned the large growing bush. Weirdly enough, the colours all harmonised together. At least to him, there could have been people who had other opinions on this sort of matter.
There was enough space to move between the table and the wall, making it the perfect spot to be a little isolated from the rest of the restaurant.
It was a double table; two chairs on either side of the stand but Nikolai never had company with him. He always, always, was alone by himself. But he didn’t mind – he was surrounded in his office by people left and right. And sometimes it could be such a hassle to deal with so many subordinates at once – all demanding his attention, asking if the project was correct, asking for tips, and other countless things.
Thankfully this table wasn’t often taken so he didn’t have to worry about someone occupying it.
Whilst flipping through the menu Nikolai sighed and thought for a moment before he looked up to greet the waiter that was ready to take his order. To his surprise it was a seemingly young, unkempt man who looked grumpy. Or rather; indifferent and lethargic. A little unhealthy, even, due to his sickly pale skin and eyebags. (The bitten tips of his fingers were covered by the white gloves so the waiter didn’t have to bother putting band aids on the wounds. And no one would ask him what or how it happened.)
The nametag hung in a crooked fashion; tilted to the side and barely clinging onto the white and clean but knitted fabric. It appeared to be a little large on the waiter’s body but his face stated that he didn’t care what others thought of his appearance. It read Fyodor in a neat, cursive handwriting and Nikolai made sure to remember it – out of politeness as well as sheer curiosity and interest. It’s not every day that you meet someone like this in such a location. Gogol had seen quite a lot of people and personalities due to him being a CEO and the number of meetings he had to go on. But this man was… different. No one caught his interest and attention quite like this waiter.
Making a couple of mental notes Nikolai decided it was best to make a calm and friendly approach as to not ruin anything. He smiled faintly and voiced what he food he wanted to order, then huffed an inaudible chuckle when he saw the waited scribble onto a paper pad instead of the device that the fellow waiters and waitresses had. All that he got in return was eyebrows that were thrown up in slight surprise and a quiet huff.
“Your order will come soon, sir.”
Fyodor’s voice mirrored his expression; disinterested and monotone. He bowed his head slightly and turned around to leave, stopping by the bushes to let his delicate fingers gloved in white silk grace the small pink petals of a Hoya Carnosa, leaning in closer to take in the sweet scent of the wax plant. Nikolai frowned in thought as he watched Fyodor leave. He had read about this plant not too long ago – there wasn’t much information about its meaning but some people had claimed that this certain plant represented aspiration; the call for being something higher, and divine. Making another mental note Nikolai turned his head to the left to gaze out of the window to watch the colourful, dotted light of the city underneath him.
Time passed and the man had hoped to see that waiter again but was greeted with a familiar face instead. “Ah, Agatha,” he smiled up at her whilst she placed his plate down and served his drink. The blonde stopped working for a moment in order to take a seat across him and purse her lips oh so slightly.
“I wanted to ask you about the new addition. Who is he?”
The female merely raised an eyebrow and leaned back into her seat, legs crossed under the black skirt and apron.
“Fyodor isn’t all that new, to tell you the truth. Boss just doesn’t want him to go around dishevelled like that so he 'works' behind the scenes instead.” Pulling out a cigarette from her breast pocket Agatha holds it out to Nikolai and motions for him to light it up which he does within a few moments. The filter is pressed between her lips and she inhales once, then continues to talk. “I don’t know how he started working here or when... Fyodor began to appear one day, helping out here and there. I can tell his condition isn’t the best judging by how pale and tired he looks. Must’ve slept less than a day this whole week, or maybe less. He takes a lot of breaks and spends that time staring off into space."
With a long exhale the smoke is blown right into the man’s face but he doesn’t move a muscle. He knows Agatha since the day he started eating here – a regular and welcomed customer in this restaurant. He finally waves a hand from left to right to get the smoke out of his sight, then leans onto it with his eyes gazing past the woman and at the flower the waiter touched.
“Do you know anything about him, maybe?”
“I apologise, but he rarely talks. Only when it’s asked of him.”
Taking a swig from the cold drink he ordered, Nikolai’s lips were pressed into a thin line and he looked down at the food, poking it with a pristine fork. It was not that he didn't like it – he tried to clear his mind from that raven haired man. He seemed... intriguing.
"You want to get to know him, don't you? Your expression is enough to know what you're thinking about. Sometimes a simple glance speaks books and other times I just can’t read you."
Agatha stated with a casual shrug. One last drag of the cigarette and she put it out in the ash tray, rubbing and twisting to extinguish the fire. “Like I said,” she breathes out the smoke and closes her eyes, glancing back to the rest of the bustling restaurant once she opened them again, “you’ll have to do it yourself if you want to get to know him. I have no influence in this, dear.”
Besides, Nikolai had to gather courage to do it all by himself, without any kind of help – it would seem strange to have Agatha approach Fyodor to tell him that someone really wants to meet him.
He certainly knows when to take the initiative as a high-ranking businessman but in all honesty love and work are two completely different things. The male sighed and stuffed a forkful of his meal into his mouth to chew on it, delighted by the rich taste and impeccable texture. He knew that he wanted to make an approach as well as a good impression but how? Fyodor was, not to overexaggerate, hiding in the kitchen and rarely came out to take orders and serve food.
This was visibly noticeable on his face; his peculiar eyes reflected sadness and disappointment, and the heavy exhale made Agatha roll her eyes.
“Fine, I’ll try to rearrange things so that you two can see each other somehow.” Immediately his face lit up and it was almost as if he’d jump from his seat to celebrate this ‘victory’. But before he could even make an attempt Agatha stopped him with her somewhat threatening voice. “But do not expect too much from me.”
Nonetheless, Nikolai smiled brightly and tried to calm down a little, fidgeting on his seat, shifting around unable to sit still. It made Agatha snicker a little before she stood up and fixed her apron and shirt.
“Now then, I’ll have to get back to work. See you around.”
“See you~ and thanks in advance for the help.”
They both waved each other and flashed a small smile, parting ways for now.
The rest of the evening was rather quiet. Nikolai ate the remaining pieces of his dish and drank two glasses of wine, then sat there for a while whilst staring out to the evening skyline, simply enjoying the atmosphere before he had to leave.
Something moved in the corner of his eyes and he was greeted by Fyodor’s gloomy and messy appearance, delicate fingers lifting up the empty plates. It surprised him to see that someone actually ate everything, it almost seemed as though Nikolai licked the plate clean. (That is to say, he seriously did it without feeling ashamed in the slightest. Perks of having an isolated seat like this.)
Fyodor didn’t stare too long and said with his usual dismissive and monotone voice, “I hope it tasted good. Would you like to pay now?”
The businessman replied with a merry ‘yes’ and pulled out his wallet to give the black haired man a few bills. “You can keep the rest, it’s your tip for today,” he added and put the wallet back into his pocket.
Fyodor blinked a couple of times in surprise and stuffed them away, bowing his head before leaving after muttering a small ‘thank you’. Nikolai watched him vanish behind the wall of greenery again, still staring into that direction a while longer before grabbing his coat and heading out of the restaurant.
His home wasn’t too far away with the cab ride only taking about 15 minutes.
Lights on, shoes and coat off, he stumbled into the large and clean apartment and loosened his tie to throw it into a corner before falling into the softness of his bed, ready to fall asleep. Tomorrow was Saturday so no one would care how he looked like.
―
Nikolai visited the restaurant as often as he could – he explained it to Agatha that no one should think strange of him if he dropped by several times a week. Sometimes he didn’t order that much; an appetizer and a non-alcoholic drink. Other times he got something large; mostly on Fridays and Saturdays. The businessman changed his habits completely; he took a seat somewhere else, where he was sitting in the middle of the crowd, whilst hoping to catch a glimpse of Fyodor.
Fyodor changed, too, he noticed. At first the Russian didn’t come out as much, hid in the kitchen and secretly worked there. Sometimes it was only Agatha that served him, saying that Fyodor was sick or something along those lines.
But he gradually came out and started serving people from time to time. And something else changed as well and this made Nikolai smile.
At the very beginning Fyodor looked dishevelled, unhealthy and almost scary but in the recent evenings he looks more well-dressed; his hair was combed neatly – a few strands were tucked behind his ear and the small glances made Nikolai’s heart flutter like a young bird’s wings, – the white shirts were clean and ironed, the nametag hung just right and he appeared to be a tad more talkative and politer. Nikolai broke the ice and brought up a topic to talk about when Fyodor served his food – he prepared it out of memory since the businessman’s habits were repetitive and therefore predictive. But even then, Fyodor put in a small surprise and let the chef prepare a dish that wasn’t even on the menu. Sometimes the dish was already on the table when Nikolai arrived.
The amount of attention to detail was amazing and Nikolai found himself seeking for more attention, more opportunities to talk with the waiter. And so he stayed until they closed, waiting for Fyodor to come out and join him on the walk home. It was almost as if he was back in school, impatiently waiting for his best friend at the front door. It gave him feelings of nostalgia, making him grin widely and bounce on his heels. No one would even expect this man to be the CEO of a company. This was one of the very few moments where his true personality showed – cheerful, giddy and smiling nonstop. The job required him to be stoic and serious, strict with the schedule but kind-hearted nonetheless. His subordinates liked him because of these traits, Nikolai was easy to work with – however, sometimes he forgot things here and there. Thankfully he had a secretary who reminded him every now and then.
It was one of the main reasons he didn't like working there but he had to do it. Although it was what he was living from and people relied and depended on him. Quitting like that without having even considered a worthy heir would bring them to ruin. Not only the company, but the ones they worked with as well. The man was very well aware that he couldn’t afford to make such a selfish move and destroy people’s futures with a few simple words. There had to be another way and the options that Nikolai thought of weren’t all too easy.
―
It excited Nikolai more than initially thought when Fyodor quietly asked if he wanted to come over to his place and spend some time there. A couple of months have passed and in that time period they grew closer and closer; talking more often, chatting whenever they were close to each other, when Fyodor walked past his table Nikolai met his purple eyes and smiled.
Small gestures strewn about here and there, making each other chuckle and smile. Agatha only shook her head but it was a relief to her to know that they were getting along rather well. Of course, she already had a hunch where this was going – those two were idiots when it came to love and they were helplessly falling for each other. But, despite knowing that they’re not knowing what they’re doing, she decided not to help them since it’s their own matter. A smile traced her lips as the woman stood and observed the two of them. It was faint but ever-present, as well as the glint of fondness sparkling in her blue eyes.
Once again, Nikolai waited until the restaurant closed and stayed at the front door, eagerly gazing about the wide hall and taking in the extravagant and decorative interior design once more. He stood here so many times and yet it doesn’t fail to amaze him. This restaurant was almost like his second home now, he pondered.
It had a comfortably dim lighting, with a long counter that served as a bar and tables that were surrounded by greenery to provide some privacy. Every piece of wood was dark – presumably out of walnut or mahogany, or mixed – and polished until it shined and reflected like a mirror. Round table with either two or four seats, cutlery wrapped in fine napkins, a candle or two in the middle. The ceiling was so very high with four large detailed chandeliers hanging in each corner to shed their brilliant yet soft light onto the guests.
Fyodor gently tapped the other’s shoulder to get his attention, knowing that Nikolai was most likely daydreaming judging by how he was staring off into space for a while. He blinked a few times, shook his head and held the door open for the Russian, bowing politely in the process.
Out in the fresh night air each of them held their coats close to their body, eager to get into the warmth of Fyodor’s apartment. The Russian had already mentioned beforehand that his apartment wasn’t the best; there was a small balcony, the living room and bedroom were together (in all honesty, Fyodor slept on the couch that he could extend), a small kitchen and bathroom, and that was about it. The place was messy but not too much and, admittedly, it had a certain charm. Nikolai’s ‘flat’ was neat and tidy since someone always took care of it.
However, Nikolai’s reaction surprised him when they entered the flat after trudging up the stairs after their walk through the cold November air. It really wasn't a lot but something completely different. He took his shoes and coat off and carried them whilst looking around the small apartment; some parts of the walls were worn down, old colour burst away and grey rough wall showing through. Nikolai studied it, then went to another spot and studied it as well. The living room was a tad messy and dirty but in all honesty the CEO didn’t mind. This was such a different way of living and he vaguely recalled the house he lived in as a kid. When he was a child...
So many things were easier and simpler. He wandered out into the woods, watched birds and other animals with profound enthusiasm and interest.
Weirdly enough Fyodor brought up all these pleasant memories of his past, things that made his heart quiver with nostalgia, the feeling of life where not every decision meant the downfall of a big company.
"Can I get something f-"
"No, I want to do something good for you for once."
Fyodor blinked a couple of times since that sudden outburst surprised him. The long haired man beamed and headed straight into the kitchen to look through the fridge in hopes of finding something to eat for them.
There were a couple of things that he made use of and prepared a somewhat delicious meal for the two of them, sitting together on the couch with a little space between their bodies. They weren’t entirely sure whether or not to make the step of engaging in physical contact – since none of them knew if it was alright with the other – but both wanted it, not ready to say or show any signs of it.
“So… you sleep on the couch all of the time?”
Nikolai started a conversation with a small spoon in his mouth, looking at the comfortable cushions underneath his thighs. It wondered him how Fyodor lived; he wanted to know more, every little detail to repay the Russian for keeping such good track of his habits.
“I do, a bigger apartment would cost more and you don’t get much as a simple waiter like me. Besides, I have to pay for my medicine as well.”
Looking down into his bowl with stirred eggs, bacon and some herbs he took a bite from it and then sighed. “I need them to even get out of apartment sometimes…”
Sadness thinly laced the quiet voice and it was accompanied by the soft clink of his fork nudging against the bottom of the bowl as he poked around his food. It was sort of difficult to talk about this – since no one even got this close to him – but it had to come out sooner or later if he truly wanted to get closer to Nikolai. Which he did. Fyodor hoped to be more than two people who regularly see each other, more than ‘friends’. He didn’t even know what kind of relationship they had.
“That’s why you’re missing sometimes.”
Fyodor silently nodded. The silence was heavy but not uncomfortable. Both had stopped eating, somewhat finished with their meal now, and put it on the table. “It’s late, we should head to sleep now. You can sleep on the couch, I can do it on the ground.”
Taking the bowls with them Fyodor stood up and headed into the kitchen after changing the subject. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk it about it, rather that he wasn’t ready just yet to delve deeper into his mental and physical state. And Nikolai understood it, so he didn’t force more questions unto him, pried him open to find answers. No, Fyodor had to be okay with it.
Nikolai sat on his spot and didn’t move, letting the heavy atmosphere press down onto his chest. With a small sigh he laid onto the couch and draped the blanket over his body that Fyodor gave him moments ago.
“Good night… and sorry for asking. Didn’t mean to do that.”
“It’s fine,” the Russian answered and curled up on his spot, preparing himself for sleep. “You couldn’t have known about it.”
Tired eyes closed and tensed body slowly relaxing Fyodor was quick to fall asleep. It took some time for the CEO, however, because his head was full of concern and the likes. But thankfully he soon lost consciousness and drifted off.
Though that didn’t hold for long when he heard a door open and close. The male’s eyes fluttered open and he lifted his head to look at the source of the noise: it was the door to the balcony and Fyodor taking a seat on the bench.
Taking his blanket with himself, Nikolai went out as well, first peeking his head outside to check the situation before taking a seat next to the Russian.
The first thing he noticed was that the shorter one didn’t have a blanket himself and therefore wrapped his own around Fyodor’s shoulders to pull him closer.
“A beautiful view, isn’t it?” he began. Above them was the colourful artificial light that got reflected in the sky with the busy streets seeming far away from this spot.
Fyodor shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to imagine a clear night sky sprinkled with thousands of stars, not a single soul around, no lights that could make the stars disappear. “No,” the dark haired man muttered, “it’s polluted by the light of the city. There’s not a single star that you can spot.”
Now that he mentioned it… it did appear to be lacking the stars that one could normally see. “Do you… Do you want to travel to the countryside for a while to witness that?”
Nikolai’s mouth worked faster than his brain could register and so he blurted out this suggestion. It did sound very beautiful to spend some time with Fyodor in a cottage with no work or anything else bothering them. Fyodor looked at the CEO with surprise flashing up in his eyes, hues of many different colours reflected in them and Nikolai took notice that he was unable to tear his gaze away from them.
“Are you serious about that?” The waiter raised a brow. He was a little sceptical about this but the way Nikolai stared at him slowly but surely convinced him otherwise. However, he still wanted to hear it. Just to be sure.
“Of course! I could book us something and we could go there, no problem. I’ll talk to Agatha if she could ask your boss if it’s alright for you to take a while off.” The long haired man stops for a moment and smiles fondly, his hand reaching for Fyodor’s to give it a reassuring squeeze.
“You really need a break.”
Those soft words made the Russian look down and then suddenly blush. It couldn’t be, could it?
“You love me, don’t you?” It came out as a quiet mutter and Nikolai stopped everything immediately. It made perfect sense. Now Nikolai, too, blushed heavily and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation but there was nothing that could even begin to describe it. Going to the same restaurant several times a week to stare at the waiter and talk with him. Definitely didn’t sound like a weird love story. It was so strange to grasp but at the same time so very real.
“I-I think so…”
Fyodor’s hand wandered from Nikolai’s up to his cheek to cup it and slowly pulls their faces closer until their lips connected in a soft and chaste kiss. After only a few seconds – that nearly seemed like an eternity – they parted but stayed close. Not a single word was uttered.
“I love you,” Nikolai whispered against the thin and chapped lips and kissed the other once more. It was deeper, filled with more passion and love in an attempt to convey his feelings. Fyodor melted into it, yearning for the affection. “I love you as well,” the waiter gasped. They broke the kiss and Fyodor hid his neck into the nape of the businessman’s neck.
“Let’s go to my home. You can relax there, you have lots of space.”
The only reply what he got was a tired nod and a muffled hum. Picking Fyodor up he carried the scrawny one inside, took a few things with him, left the blanket on the couch and quickly left the apartment. Soft snores reached Nikolai’s ears and he smiled a little when he spotted the waiter sleeping in his arms. He called a cab, gave the address and drove there. All the while he gently rubbed his boyfriend’s side, pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead only to lean back into his seat and wait until they arrived. He paid the driver, said goodbye and rushed inside the hotel.
The lobby of the building was rather empty which Nikolai thanked the God’s for. It would be really inconvenient to have people spot them like this. He pressed the button of his floor once he stepped into the elevator and waited for the doors to close. Every now and again he would shift a little to make sure that he wouldn’t drop Fyodor onto the floor – which he didn’t, fortunately enough. It got a little difficult to open his own door so he shifted Fyodor onto his back, pulled out his chip and held it against the scanner. Within a few short seconds he was inside his apartment and pulled his shoes off before scurried over to the bedroom to place his boyfriend onto the bed.
Fyodor looked so peaceful like this, it almost seemed like a dream but it wasn’t. Nikolai took his own clothes off after removing some of Fyodor’s, climbed into the bed and pulled the smaller one close to his chest.
“One day, I promise, you’ll be able to see the stars,” Nikolai muttered and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.