Work Text:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like unilock, johnlock, and teenlock.
Truth or dare? Dares are accompanied by a picture. JW [17]
We're really doing this? Dull. SH (16)
Truth. SH
Don't be like that. JW
Okay, something traditional for start. Who do you fancy? JW
No one. SH
That's hardly an answer... but okay. JW
Truth or dare? SH
Dare. JW
Tell your mum you got a girl pregnant. SH
She knows I don't have a gf. JW
You had a one night stand. SH
Well. Okay. But no photo for this one. Give me a minute. JW
She was definitely terrified. JW
Lovely. SH
Oh yeah. I have to discuss a few things with my parents. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Dare. SH
Get a phone number from a random girl. JW
How am I supposed to get a girl's phone number? I'm at my house, not at school. SH
Go outside, you genius. I'm sure there is a girl somewhere. JW
Fine, whatever, Give me a minute. SH
{Long Delay} I have the phone number. It was quite weird though, the experience. SH
Weird? Why? JW
She ran her hand down my chest and touched my arse. SH
Well, you should be flattered. JW
I didn't like it. SH
Was she attractive? Maybe you could give me that number. JW
No, she wasn't attractive. SH
Too bad. JW
Truth or dare? SH
Um... dare again. JW
Visit a gay bar and snog a bloke. SH
Well, I'm gonna need some time. JW
I want pictures. SH
Sure. That's the rule. JW
[long delay] Quite a lot of people's here. JW
Are they attractive? SH
Well, not all of them, of course. But, yeah, I can find someone. JW
Alright. SH
Okay. Wish me luck. JW
Good luck. SH
[attached: image of John's hand tangled in dark hair]
Brilliant. SH
I guess. He even gave me his number. And wasn't weird like your girl. JW
What's his name? SH
Michael. JW
Dull name. SH
As dull as 'John' is. JW
You two are perfect for each other. SH
I know. Happily ever after. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Truth. SH
Tell me about what do you fantasize. Just one thing will do. JW
I tend to fantasize about soldiers. SH
Oh. Are you ordering or being ordered? JW
You already asked your question, no more. SH
Well, okay. I was just curious. JW
But I think you're ordering. You like it. JW
Wrong. SH
Truth or dare? SH
You had the truth. So I'll take the truth now, too. JW
What is one thing that you've never told anyone? SH
Well... that one is hard. I've always been quite honest... JW
There's got to be something. SH
Does it count that I never told anyone about watching porn? JW
No. Everyone knows you do. SH
Knew it. JW
Okay. I... am a virgin. Still. JW
Fascinating. SH
Shut up, it's kinda traumatizing, I'm 17. JW
It's not that big of a deal. SH
Well, maybe not. Don't tell anyone, though. JW
I won't. SH
Truth or dare? JW
Dare. SH
Mhmm... let me think. You like soldiers? JW
Yes. SH
I want a picture of you saluting. JW
Shirtless preferable. JW
That's a stupid dare. SH {Image attached: Sherlock saluting without shirt}
Maybe stupid, but now I can blackmail you. JW
I will tell the entire British nation that you are a virgin. SH
I can change that. JW
I will poison you. SH
Well, okay, that would work, probably. But I don't think you'd do this. JW
You will when you're lying on the floor, choking on your own vomit. SH
I'll puke on your shoes. Deliberately. JW
I will bash your gorgeous face in with my vomit covered shoes. SH
My gorgeous face? My, my, Mr. Holmes. JW
I'll be dead till then, so do whatever you want. JW
Truth or dare? SH
Truth. JW
If you could lose your virginity to anyone, who would it be? SH
Um... Johnny Depp? JW
Alright. That's understandable. SH
Yeah. I guess. Although I'm surprised you know who is he. JW
I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean. SH
Sherlock Holmes, you are amazing. JW
I know. SH
Show-off. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Truth. SH
Are you a sub or do you just have a thing for soldiers? JW
I have a military kink. SH
Ow. Okay. So normally not a sub at all. JW
Truth or dare? SH
Truth. JW
Do you have any kinks? SH
I always liked the thought about being tied up. JW
But I don't know anything for sure. JW
Alright. SH
Truth or dare? JW
Dare. SH
Cover your hair with honey. JW
And I want a picture. JW
You're the worst. SH
{Image attached: Sherlock's hair, pointed in every direction, lathered in honey.}
I knew you'd hate me. But you're lovely now. Sweet. JW
One day, I am going to kill you. SH
Truth or dare? SH
I know. You were saying something about the poison? JW
Truth. JW
I'm not sure if I'd poison you, or slit your throat. They're both fun. SH
Who is the hottest bloke that you know? Yourself not included. SH
You can do both. JW
I know personally or just know? JW
You know personally. SH
Myself not included? You're cruel. That would be... Michael, I guess. JW
Right, okay. SH
I'll be in a corner, sobbing, if you need me. SH
Don't you worry, you're not that bad. If I close my eyes. JW
That is just mean. SH
Maybe. But Michael looks a bit like you. On a second thought. JW
I mean, he has dark hair. And is bloody tall. JW
I'm probably better than Michael. SH
Modest as always. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Dare. SH
Steal Mycroft's cake. JW
You have the stupidest dares. SH
Come on, I'm sure he's got something really delicious. JW
It's red velvet. SH
You see? Now I'd tell you to eat it but I know you won't so what's the point. JW
I hate red velvet. SH
Truth or dare? SH
Dare. JW
Ask a stranger on the street if they want to lick your balls. SH
Of course they want, I'm me. JW
True. SH
So you want? That's nice. JW
But wait, I'll actually ask someone. JW
Hurry up. SH
Don't actually let them lick your balls, though. That's my job. SH
[delay] Well... that didn't go well. JW
What happened? SH
It was a lady. Very... sensitive lady. JW
My cheek still hurts. JW
Haha. SH
Very funny. JW
It is. SH
No, it's not. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Truth. SH
Would you /really/ lick my balls? JW
Not if they're hairy. SH
...okay. JW
They're not, by the way. JW
Good to know. SH
Truth or dare? SH
Dare. JW
Sext your sister. SH
Sherlock, that's disgusting! JW
That's the point? SH
Not my own sister... ugh. JW
Fine. Sext Gavin. SH
Gavin? JW
Gavin Lestrade? SH
Geez, you should really learn that his name is Greg. And what do you want me to say to him? JW
Dunno. Get creative. SH
"I wanna suck you off" will do? JW
Or not creative enough? JW
Not creative enough. SH
Hmm... right... JW
So... "I want you to tie me up and fuck into oblivion"? JW
That will work. SH
Okay. Sent. JW
Great. SH
He texted back. JW
What did he say? SH
"I would, but now I'm busy with Myc." JW
With Myc? JW
So that's what that noise upstairs is. SH
I was wondering. SH
It's been going on for a while. SH
Uhuh. Well, they're not busy enough, if he can text me. JW
Very true. SH
I wanna forget about it. Just now. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Dare. SH
Go and interrupt them. JW
Alright. SH
{Slight delay} I was hit in the head with a textbook. SH
My cheek doesn't hurt so much now. JW
Good for you. SH
Truth or dare? SH
Dare. JW
Tell your mum you've got herpes. SH
She won't believe me but okay. JW
Done. JW
Wonderful. SH
I know. JW
Truth or dare? JW
Truth. SH
Who's the hottest bloke /you/ know? JW
Your mum. SH
Not funny. JW
Victor Trevor, probably. SH
Uh, that bitch. JW
Well, okay. JW
Don't worry. You're a close second. SH
I don't worry. I just don't like him. JW
I do. SH
I can see that. JW
You should ask him out or something. Life advice. JW
No. SH
Why? JW
Because I don't want to? SH
But you like him? JW
Not in a romantic way. I just think he's hot. SH
It doesn't have to be romantic, you know. JW
I'm pretty sure dating involves romantic feelings. SH
Umm... not necessarilly. You could have a snog. Maybe he would even let you shag him, with your face. JW
I'd rather do that sort of thing with someone I have romantic feelings for. SH
Aw. You're a romantic. JW
Shut up. SH
That's sweet. JW
Fuck off. SH
But that's actually adorable. JW
No, it's not. SH
Please, say you're blushing. JW
Yes, I am. Now please, kindly piss off. SH
As you wish. JW
Thank you. SH
But you are really sweet. JW
And you are really annoying. SH
Thank you. JW
Anytime. SH
So who do you like? If not Trevor? JW
None of your business. SH
Touchy. JW
Who do you like? SH
Michael? JW
You just met him. SH
Oh, okay, I'm kidding. JW
He didn't even give me that phone number. JW
Shame. SH
Yeah. JW
Who is it, really? SH
Well... he's kinda special, you know. JW
How so? SH
He's... clever. And interesting. I can go to both directions, you know that, but I usually chatt up girls. JW
You should ask him out. SH
Naah. I don't think so. JW
Why not? SH
I know the answer. JW
I told you, who do you like, then? JW
I don't recall you ever giving me a name, therefore, you didn't really tell me. SH
Fuck off. You don't need the name. JW
Yes, I do. SH
Tell me. SH
You wish. So you can tell him I'm a virgin. JW
I wouldn't do that to you. SH
You'd poison me. JW
For an experiment, obviously. JW
Just tell me. SH
What for, Sherlock? We're not 14 years old girls talking about their crushes. JW
Yes we are. SH
Well, I don't know about you, but I am certainly not a 14 years old girl. JW
You sure? SH
Yeah, last time I checked my cock was there. JW
Could be a strap on. SH
You could be lying. SH
You're being ridiculous. JW
You're being ridiculous because you won't tell me who you fancy. SH
Okay fine I'll tel you it's you! Happy? JW
Oh my freaking god. JW
Yes, I am very happy. SH
Fantastic. JW
Was that so hard? SH
Not quite easy. Now I don't want to see you. JW
Why not? SH
It'll be awkward. JW
No it won't. SH
Yes it will. JW
It won't. SH
Well, actually, you've got the point. It won't be, because I'll never see you again. JW
I'll try. JW
You're mean. SH
I'm not. I just liked our friendship. JW
Becoming more than friends will do nothing but make our friendship stronger. SH
Yeah, more than friends, I wish. And what about the one you like? I told you. JW
The one I like is being an idiot right now. SH
Too bad. You don't like idiots. JW
I like him, though. SH
Very much. SH
Lucky guy. JW
Love, even. SH
You should ask him out. Until someone else will take him. JW
Alright. I will. SH
Are you free sometime soon? SH
Um, yeah, wh... oh. JW
Idiot. SH
Sherlock? JW
Yeah? SH
You were... serious? JW
Most definitely. SH
I mean you... JW
I..? SH
You love me? JW
How? JW
I just do. SH
But I'm an idiot, you git. JW
We'll be idiots together then. SH
That's not gonna happen, sorry. JW
Why not? SH
You can't be an idiot. JW
I can. SH
I don't believe you. You're my little genius. JW
Aw. SH
Oh god, now I am adorable, right? JW
Yeah, you are. SH
Uh. Awful. JW
No, it's not. It's cute. SH
Shut it. JW
Make me. SH
Watch me. JW
I am made of rage and fury, I'm not adorable. JW
You are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. SH
So what are you made of, then? JW
Honey, maybe? JW
Honey, tea, and murder. SH
That's lovely. I love the last part most. JW
Same. SH
Actually, I love all parts. JW
I love you. SH
You /really/ should have told me that earlier. JW
Love you too. So much. JW
I love you more. SH
I love you most. JW
Doubt it. SH
Oh, really? JW
I would go to the ends of the universe just to make you smile. SH
Don't go anywhere. That'll make me smile. JW