Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When he was alive, Kravitz had sometimes imagined himself being a father. He just hadn’t expected “saving a baby from being sacrificed by a necromantic cult” to be a possible avenue for it to happen. Nevertheless, here he was: throwing himself through a rift in space with an infant held tightly to his chest, landing knees-first on the plush carpet of the apartment he shared with Taako. He could hear Lup screaming furiously at the doomed necromancers as the rift sealed itself behind him. They were a small group, she could handle them. Saving the child was his priority now.

Taako came out of the kitchen. Kravitz could see the confusion on his face, but cut him off before he could say anything. “I need Merle,” he said. The first healer he could think of. “I- fuck, Taako, they were going to sacrifice a baby. We need Merle, and we need him now, or she’s going to die.”

The wizard spared a moment to glance at the baby in his husband’s shaking arms. “Godsdamn necromancers,” he muttered, pulling out his Stone of Farspeech. Kravitz heard Taako dial Barry’s frequency. Barry hadn’t been working with himself and Lup that day, and apparently Merle never answered his own Stone anymore. Sending Barry to collect the dwarf would eliminate any potential travel delays. Time was of the essence. “Barold, I need you to bring me Merle. Kravitz just crashed into our living room with a fucking half-dead baby and we need a cleric."

It was a tense three minutes before another rift opened in the air in front of Kravitz. The sounds of waves and seagulls rolled over him as he dragged his attention away from the baby. Merle stepped into the apartment, the Extreme Teen Bible under his arm. “What happened, Krav?”

Kravitz gingerly held out the baby for Merle to see. It was a tiny sun elf, barely six months old. She had to have been sedated for the ritual, because there was no way he could see that she wouldn’t be shrieking in pain and confusion otherwise. The skin on the pointed tips of her ears was dry and cracking in some places. Her head had been shaved of what tiny amount of hair it had previously had. She was naked, and there were small purple bruises on her arms and legs. “They were going to sacrifice her, they were using her to summon a demon. Her ears, Merle. My gods, they’re so damaged- she’s so young, I…”

“Bastards,” Merle grunted. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Taako, bring me a pillow. We’re gonna put her on the floor so you don’t drop her while I’m healing her. No offense, Krav, but I need a stable surface so I can do this.”

“Of course,” Kravitz replied mechanically. Taako retrieved their most comfortable throw pillow from the sofa and he laid the baby down. It was hard for him to let go of her, but Kravitz knew that Merle was good at what he did. At least Taako seemed to understand his anxiety. The moon elf knelt on the floor beside his husband and took his hand. Barry finally joined them as well, crouching silently beside Merle.

Merle opened the Extreme Teen Bible and placed it on the floor. “I’m gonna cast Prayer of Healing,” he said to no one in particular. Then he also sank to his knees beside the cushion, holding out his hands above the baby as he spoke in a low voice. “O Pannenly Father, please have mercy on this child…” Tiny golden flowers bloomed along the length of Merle’s wooden arm. He gently placed his palm on the baby’s chest. Warm light radiated out from the point of contact and the baby took a deep breath. Kravitz said his own silent prayer of thanks to the Raven Queen. It wasn’t the child’s time, not yet. But that didn’t mean that she couldn’t be hurt.

“I dunno if I can do anything to wake her up,” said Merle, “but she’s probably gonna be hungry when she does. Kids this young need to be fed every couple of hours, and I can't tell the last time she was fed. She's real skinny.”

“I’ll have to see what we have,” Taako said. He stood up. “Barry, you know where the linen closet is. Bring Merle a towel to cover the kid’s decency. We’ll have to go shopping at some point, whether we keep her or not. I can’t be seen dropping a naked baby at an orphanage.” Kravitz blinked. Up until that point he hadn’t considered what to do with the baby after Merle had healed her.

“So you’re thinkin’ about keeping her?” Merle asked Taako. Taako opened the icebox and disappeared behind the door up to the tips of his ears.

“Somebody has to! Maybe Lup and Barold, or Ren. Or maybe Magnus. I don’t know. Fuck, we can’t just leave her!” It was a classic Taako deflection. Kravitz knew that it would take more than this for his husband to admit it, but he knew that the baby reminded Taako of himself. Spending the majority of the first hundred years of his life on the road with Lup had made for a difficult childhood. Taako wouldn’t want to leave another little elf to fend for themselves, even one he had just met.

Barry came back with a towel. Merle helped him swaddle the baby and placed her back into Kravitz’s arms. “Yeah, you’re keepin’ her,” the dwarf said kindly. “Just like how you got all those damn cats.” Merle looked at Kravitz. “She’s gonna need a name, though.”

“I suppose she will,” said Kravitz in a weak voice.

Chapter Text

After an emergency supply run to the Fantasy Costco, Barry had taken Merle home and gone to join Lup in her reaper duties. Taako and Kravitz found themselves still sitting on the floor with the baby and the shopping bag.

“I, uh, I guess we have a baby now,” Taako muttered, resting his chin in his hand. “Didn’t really think this one through, did we?”

“Not in the slightest,” Kravitz replied.

“We should probably put some clothes on her, huh?”

“We should definitely put some clothes on her.”

As his husband rummaged through the bag, Kravitz unwrapped the towel from the baby. He couldn’t stop himself from looking at the bruises that still stood out on her tiny arms. Merle’s Prayer of Healing had done her a lot of good, but she still had some healing to do on her own. “Gods, Taako. Look what they did to her.”

Taako’s ears were pressed flat to the sides of his head. “I know,” the elf muttered. He started handing Kravitz tiny pieces of clothing. “I hope Lup kills the shit out of them. They deserve it more than any of the chucklefucks I killed while my memories were wiped.” He grimaced. Kravitz carefully held the baby while Taako pulled a bodysuit down over her head. “But, like, a kid? Gods. I wouldn’t- Uh oh.”

The baby opened her eyes sleepily. She took one look at Taako and began hiccuping with a dismayed look on her face.

“Merle told us to feed her,” Kravitz said urgently.

“Right.” Taako dove back into the bag, coming out with a bottle and a packet of formula. He ran into the kitchen as the baby began to wail in earnest. For lack of anything better to do, Kravitz fastened the little blue buttons on her bodysuit. The baby was only quiet again after Taako had come back with the warmed bottle, cradled her in the crook of his arm, and began to feed her. Kravitz waited a beat in case all hell wanted to break loose again. Nothing happened. The apartment was quiet except for the sounds of the baby drinking and one of the cats running down the hall.

Both adults breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are you sure you really want to do this?” Kravitz asked quietly.

“I mean… Yeah. I guess I am,” Taako replied. “Like, I never thought I would have a kid before, but, um, I kinda want to keep this one?” He looked down at the baby absentmindedly. “I know we didn’t really ever, like, talk about this; but it kinda feels like you’re on board already ‘cause you’re the one that brought her here. Plus we kept Angus, so… Yeah.”

The reaper smiled. “We did keep Angus,” he said, kissing his husband on the forehead. “I love you, Taako.”

“Love you, Ghost Rider.”

The two of them quickly realized that there was going to be a steeper learning curve with a baby than there was with a boy detective. For one thing, Angus was able to tell Taako and Kravitz what he wanted. He also didn’t need to be rocked to sleep or for someone to change him into clean clothes after soiling himself. And only that night did Taako realize that the baby would need to sleep in a crib, not with himself and Kravitz.

“Shit,” Taako muttered, looking at the disheveled, cat-occupied bed.

Kravitz paused halfway through bending over to pick up one of the cats. “What?”

“We can’t let her sleep just, like, in the bed with the blankets and cats and stuff,” said the wizard. “She might fall off, or we could roll over on her, or something.”

“Well, neither of us really need to sleep,” said Kravitz. “What if I held her all night?”

Taako considered it. “Okay,” he conceded, “but, like, you can’t move or anything; ‘cause she could wake up.”

Kravitz picked up the nearest cat and dropped him unceremoniously on the floor. “Sorry, Shrimp Toast.” Shrimp Toast stalked out of the room, tail held high with indignance. Kravitz laid down on the bed. “Give her to me,” he said, holding out his arms. Taako passed him the baby as gently as possible. She was already asleep and neither one of them wanted to be the first to wake her up. They both knew how loudly she could scream.

“You got it?” Taako asked cautiously.

“I think so. But let me do this.” The top half of Kravitz’s suit melted away, leaving the reaper shirtless with a sleeping baby laying on his chest. The baby barely seemed to notice that anything had happened.

Taako must have made a bad acrobatics check, because he climbed into the bed between the three remaining cats with considerably less grace than usual. Two of the cats jumped down and ran out of the room. The last cat, Tchaikovsky, meowed in protest and curled up against Kravitz’s shoulder. Kravitz tried to stay still as Taako situated himself against the headboard, but the elf accidentally sat on one of his dreadlocks; which made him say “Ow!” without thinking.

The baby opened her eyes and started to snuffle warningly. Taako and Kravitz both froze.

“Taako,” said Kravitz, “get off of my hair.” He rubbed the baby’s back in what he hoped was a comforting manner, murmuring “Now now, it’s all right.” Taako piled his husband’s hair back onto his own pillow. Some of it fell on Tchaikovsky, who meowed again. The baby didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes slowly drooped shut and her thumb found its way into her mouth. Kravitz would have sighed with relief if it hadn’t meant jostling her unnecessarily. He looked at Taako.

“Let’s not try that again.”

“Yeah.”

Chapter Text

Another thing babies did that boy detectives didn’t: wake up at odd hours of the night and scream their heads off. Sure, Angus had nightmares occasionally; but after the Day of Story and Song, a lot of people had nightmares. And when Angus had started living with Taako and Kravitz he’d been an eleven-year-old with the vocabulary of a university student, capable of describing pretty much anything he had dreamed about. The unnamed baby just straight up screamed.

She slept until around one o’clock before deciding that she was dissatisfied with the current state of calm in the bedroom and letting out a piercing wail. The sound startled Taako, waking him up from his meditation and causing him to fall off the bed. He was halfway to retrieving his wand before he realized what was happening. All four cats bolted from the room once again as Kravitz stood up.

“What happened?” Taako asked, propping himself up on his elbows on the edge of the mattress. “She shit herself again?”

“I don’t think so,” said Kravitz. “I’ll have to see if she’s hungry. Are you going to finish meditating?”

The wizard rubbed his eyes. “Nah. I’ll come with.”

Both of them made their way to the kitchen. The baby kept fussing in Kravitz’s arms. “Give,” Taako ordered, holding out his hands. Kravitz passed the baby to his husband and retrieved her bottle from the draining board. Neither of them bothered to turn on any lights. It was too early and they both had Darkvision anyway.

One of the cats rubbed against Kravitz’s ankles and meowed. “Not now, Minuet,” the reaper sighed as he waited for the water on the stove to warm up.

“So, um, hey,” Taako said after a beat, “I had a thought. Uh, we kinda have to name this kid, right? For, like, legal purposes and whatever. So here’s the thing: You remember when we met?”

“Yes…”

“And, uh, you remember the day I kinda lowkey pulled off the greatest transmutation magic ever?”

Kravitz raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I remember the Story and Song. Are you proposing an idea, or are we reminiscing?” he asked, screwing the top onto the bottle and handing it to the wizard.

“I’m getting to it,” Taako said. “Look. Elf names are supposed to be… Important to the parents. I think . It’s like one of the only things I think I know about elves.” He frowned. “Hey, kid, do you want to eat or not?” The baby was whining and swatting at his hand every time it came near her face.

“She has to be hungry,” said Kravitz. “It’s been,” he squinted at the kitchen clock, “...five hours since she ate last.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Bone Daddy. She’s not taking it.”

The reaper rubbed his eyes. “All right. I suppose she’ll tell us if she really is hungry later. Check her again, maybe she does need to be changed.”

“Nope.”

The two of them left the kitchen in favor of the living room sofa. It was no use going back into the bedroom now, since Kravitz didn’t sleep and Taako was finished meditating. Shrimp Toast took up his usual spot on Kravitz’s lap. “So,” said Kravitz, “I believe you were making some sort of speech about the importance of names in elf societies?”

Taako flushed. “Oh yeah. ‘Kay, so, um, you know how I transmuted Phandalin into sapphire and saved you from the Hunger?”

“Yes.”

“Well, what if we named the kid Sapphire?”

Shrimp Toast began to purr as Kravitz scratched him behind the ears.

“It sounds rather dignified for a baby,” said the reaper. “Are you sure you would want to commit to that name?”

“She’s not gonna be a baby forever, Kravitz,” the wizard told him. “Way longer than a human, but not forever. And we’re definitely not gonna call her Raven, if that’s what you were thinking about.”

Chuckling, Kravitz shook his head. “Oh, no. I was not suggesting that. Sapphire is a perfectly fine name, Taako, if that’s what you want to call her.”

“Are you sure?” Taako asked him, moving the baby to his shoulder and patting her on the back.

“Absolutely,” said Kravitz. “I love you, and I promised to support you in whatever you decide to do in this life, or the next- it’s a perk of the job. So if you decide you want to call our baby Sapphire, I’m not going to stop you. Besides,” he ran his hand through his hair, where even in the darkness Taako could see the tiny sapphires dispersed throughout some of his dreadlocks, “I do believe my queen would approve of your choice as well, given that sapphire does represent the Astral Plane.”

They sat together in relative quiet for another half hour until the baby began to cry again. Kravitz fetched her bottle from the kitchen and sat next to Taako on the sofa to see if she would take it this time.

“Holy shit,” Taako said seriously. “We’re dads.”

“We really are,” Kravitz agreed. He smiled at the baby in his arms. “Hello, little Sapphire. I’m your papa.”

Sapphire paid him no mind and focused on her bottle.

Chapter Text

“Hey Ren, it’s me.”

“Oh, hey, Taako, what’s up? You’re kinda late today...”

“Yeah, um, about that. Krav and I are having kind of a… Situation . I’m gonna need you to cover for me for a while.”

“Well what kinda situation are we talkin’ about? I could probably help you with-”

“Everything is fine, I promise. I just need you to hold down the fort for me until I get things under control here.”

“Okay, sure, I guess. Are you gonna be able to tell me about it after it’s over?”

“Absolutely. I promise. This is gonna be Big Taako News and I’ll tell you literally as soon as I can. Oh, and can you catch Angus before he comes home and tell him to shut up about it? I need to keep a lid on this.”

Kravitz entered the Astral Plane through a rift in space. He stood before the doors of the Raven Queen’s throne room and took a deep breath to steel himself before entering. The more time he spent in the Prime Material Plane, the more his constructed body acted the way it had when he was alive. It was comforting, in a way; but also entirely disorienting when he thought about it too hard.

ENTER, MY CHILD, said the Raven Queen.

The reaper swept across the threshold and knelt before the alabaster throne. “My lady,” he said, “If I may be so bold, I have a request to make of you.”

WHAT DO YOU REQUIRE? she asked.

“I ask for time. In your service yesterday I saved a child from sacrifice in a necromancy ritual, and I wish to keep her as my own. It will require my time and I wish to be allowed to focus on it with the care that it deserves.”

The Raven Queen stood and stepped forward towards him. When Kravitz dared to glance at her, she had shrunk from the size of a building to just slightly taller than he was. RISE, MY BELOVED KRAVITZ, she commanded. Kravitz stood. She placed her hand under his chin. MY COMPASSIONATE ONE. YOU ARE ASKING ME TO PLACE YOU ON PATERNITY LEAVE. It sounded like it should be a question, but Kravitz knew it wasn’t. She sounded amused.

“Yes, my lady.”

It was silent for a beat.

The barest hint of a smile crept onto the goddess’s face beneath the raven skull she wore. VERY WELL, FAITHFUL REAPER, she said. YOU HAVE SERVED ME WELL FOR MANY YEARS. I WILL GRANT YOUR REQUEST. USE THIS TIME WELL. The Raven Queen extended a hand and a rift opened in the air beside them.

“Thank you.” Kravitz bowed low before her again. He stepped through the rift and found himself not in his home in Neverwinter, but in the middle of a small wooden-walled office with napping dogs strewn about the floor.

“Hey, Kravitz!” said Magnus.

 Taako and Kravitz’s apartment had a small second bedroom that was usually used by either Angus or Barry and Lup; or on a few notable occasions, all three of them at once. Taako was currently trying to figure out how Sapphire was going to figure into the equation. The room housed a bed, a desk, and bookshelf upon which sat Angus’s well-loved copies of the Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop novels. The shelf had been a wedding gift from Magnus two years ago. And if Taako knew Magnus, he was also going to want to build them a crib for Sapphire to sleep in- which was fine, except that he had no idea where they were going to fucking put it.

Taako used Mage Hand to spread out a blanket on the floor, then put Sapphire on her back in the middle of it. His eyes fell on the closet as he sat beside her. Purposefully crammed out of sight against the back wall was a frame they had received from Lucretia, also for his and Kravitz’s wedding. Lucretia had taken up calligraphy again after the Day of Story and Song, and had given them ornate copies of their vows as a wedding present. Taako really wanted to hate the damn thing. He wanted to want to destroy it and burn it all to shit and jump around in the ashes in front of her. But he couldn’t bring himself to do anything with it. Nothing Lucretia did could make up for erasing a hundred years’ worth of his existence from his mind. For making him forget his fucking sister. But six years had passed since he regained his memories, and though he was loath to admit it, Lucretia had also been like his sister once. He wasn’t angry at her anymore. He was just numb.

The front door opened. “Taako?” Angus called.

“I’m in here!”

He heard the familiar sounds of Angus’s rucksack hitting the floor and the cats running out to meet him. Minuet always acted as though Taako and Kravitz neglected her, even though anybody with any amount of passive perception could tell that they didn’t.

Angus’s voice got louder as the teen detective came down the hall. “Miss Ren said I’m supposed to keep quiet about something. I think I have an idea about-” He stopped in the doorway. “Oh my gods, Taako, a baby?”

“Surprise, little man,” Taako smiled. “Good to know I can still get the drop on you.”

Chapter Text

Angus cast Dancing Lights and conjured up twelve small, twinkling spheres that hung in the air over Sapphire. “So, did you tell anybody else that you got a baby, or are you going to surprise us all individually like this?” he asked, sitting back against the foot of the bed.

“Y’know, that’s not a bad idea,” Taako admitted with a shrug. “Haven’t really decided yet. Chaboi kinda got surprised with it myself, so there wasn’t a whole lot of time to think.”

The balls of light began to spin. Every few seconds one of them to came down and booped Sapphire on the nose, making her chuckle. Angus laughed too.

Taako tilted his head to the side. “Is that a model of the planar system?”

“Yeah! I’ve been studying Captain Davenport’s research lately. Well, all of it that Lucretia was able to give me. She still has really great records of everything you guys learned aboard the Starblaster, but it would be great if I could ask Captain Davenport about it myself.”

“You might get to, bubbelah.”

“I’m home!” they heard Kravitz’s voice say from the other room, followed by insistent meowing. The reaper came into the bedroom carrying Minuet. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head, saying “Yes, I know. You poor cat. Did you miss me?” Minuet sneezed. “Hello, Angus.”

The teen detective beamed up at him. “Hello, Kravitz!”

“How’d it go with the boss lady?” Taako asked as Kravitz joined them on the floor. Minuet freed herself and jumped into Angus’s lap, purring. Angus scratched her ears.

“It worked,” Kravitz said. “I will admit I was worried about it at first, but my queen seemed to be happy that I was asking for leave. Oh yes, and she sent me to visit Magnus. He gave me this and several promises of more.” He produced a small, varnished wooden duck from his jacket pocket. “He said that Fisher liked them.”

Taako half-smiled at the memory of a much younger Magnus perfecting his whittling skills for an excited baby Voidfish. “Yeah. That’s why he makes so many. Fisher kept asking for them after we brought him on the Starblaster.”

Angus dispelled the Dancing Lights. Kravitz offered the duck to Sapphire, who took it and immediately began sucking on its head. “It would seem that someone here likes them too,” said the reaper.

“Actually, it kinda seems to me like you need to go to Fantasy Costco,” said Angus. “You’re gonna need more toys than that, and a baby carrier and stuff.”

“Lup wanted to come over anyway, so I’ll just ask her if she can bring us some stuff," Taako said. "I don’t wanna take Sapphire out in public yet, ‘cause of the paparazzi, y’know?” He waved a hand dismissively.

Angus, who very clearly did not know, just nodded.

 Barry and Lup arrived later that afternoon, both carrying giant plastic Fantasy Costco bags through a reaper rift into Taako and Kravitz’s living room.

“Holy shit, Lulu, did you buy us the entire store?” Taako asked, staring.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said my niece deserves the best, Koko,” Lup replied. “Also, you owe us big time for this." She turned and greeted Angus. "Hi, Angus. Give me the kid before I fight you for her.”

Angus passed Sapphire, lifting her up by the armpits. The little elf momentarily stopped chewing on her duck and made eye contact with Lup.

“I love her,” Lup said. Sapphire drooled a little.

Kravitz approached his brother-in-law. “Thank you for doing this again, Barry. Taako said he was concerned about Sapphire being seen by the paparazzi, but I think he was just being overprotective.”

“It’s no problem,” Barry said. “Hey, I know it’s been a weird time the past couple of days; but have either of you managed to get started on any of the adoption paperwork? Lucretia thinks you guys are probably going to be investigated by a social worker if you go through the Neverwinter court system- just as a formality, you know?- but she said that she might be able to process your stuff through the Bureau and save you from having to deal with it.”

“Hold on. A social what now?” asked Taako blankly.

“A… A social worker,” Barry repeated, trying to keep his voice even. “You know, the person who the court sends if you get reported for abusing your children?”

Taako and Lup both shook their heads.

“So, let me get this straight,” Kravitz said. “You told me you knew that we had to go to court to file adoption papers. But you didn’t know that we might be inspected to make sure that our home is safe?”

“Do you not remember the fact that Agnes literally walked right into our house off the street and nobody came to investigate the fact that we kept him? ” Taako said. “We didn’t even fill out any paperwork or anything!”

Kravitz pinched the bridge of his nose. “But we didn’t adopt Angus, there’s a difference. Please tell me you realize that.”

“You did kind of adopt me, sirs-”

Barry held up his hands. “Okay, okay, look. Taako, you basically have two choices. You can either have your apartment investigated by a stranger assigned to you by the court, then wait however long it takes before they file your paperwork and then maybe they grant you your adoption certificate; or, you can spend part of one day with Lucretia, get it all done in one swoop and let the Bureau of Benevolence handle it. It’s your guys’ choice. I know which one I would prefer.”

Growling in frustration, Taako scrubbed his hands across his face. Sapphire dropped her duck and Angus bent down to pick it up for her. The wizard looked at them from between his fingers. His baby and his magic boy.

Fuck. He was going to have to see Lucretia.

Chapter Text

A week went by before Lucretia was able to catch a cannonball from the moon base to Neverwinter. The Bureau of Benevolence kept her very busy, even after six years of rebuilding efforts and humanitarian aid; but she would always find time to be there when her family needed her. After the suffering she had caused them, she would do anything. Lucretia nervously counted the papers she was carrying as she made her way down the hall to Taako and Kravitz’s apartment. She had supposedly “made up with” Taako several times now, at least enough to be invited to his wedding. And they were able to be alone in a room together, which she thanked the gods for. But Taako could hold a grudge like nobody’s business. She really didn’t blame him for being mad for so long. His sister . How could she have made him forget Lup?

“Hi, Lucretia.”

She was standing outside their door, clutching her papers and the staff she refused to stop using, the sharp corner of a notebook digging into her hand. “Hi, Taako.”

Taako stood to one side, gesturing for her to enter. “C’mon in.” She walked in past him and the door closed behind her. The wizard retreated into the kitchen, casting Mage Hand to pick up a mixing bowl.

Lucretia paused to take in what was before her. On the far wall of the apartment, light streamed through a large window into the living room. Dust particles floated through it lazily. Angus was draped sideways across an armchair, mouth half open and glasses askew. He was sleeping. Peanut, the smallest and sneakiest of the company of cats, was sprawled out across his chest. A careworn book lay on its side on the floor next to them. Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop, no doubt.

The dining area adjoined the living room, separated by a low wall. Kravitz, looking more casual than Lucretia had ever seen him, was seated at the small table looking over some papers of his own. He had foregone his usual black coat and tie in favor of a deep grey pullover. Probably something Taako had bought for him. His dreadlocks were pulled loosely away from his face; the light just right to catch the tiny gems and gold clips throughout. Tchaikovsky and Minuet were curled up together underneath the table. The whole apartment smelled like whatever it was that Taako was baking. It gave off a feeling of such comfortably easy domesticity that it was physically bothersome. Lucretia felt sick. She wished that she was a bigger part of Taako’s life, but the strained relationship they had shared for the past few years was going to have to be enough.

And then Lucretia saw her. There, by Kravitz’s feet, was Sapphire; the only reason for which Lucretia had been allowed a glimpse into this idyllic life with which she was so uninvolved. The little elf was sitting in a bouncy seat on the floor next to the table. She took no notice that anyone had come in, instead focusing on the spit-covered toy duck she was holding. Magnus’s handiwork. It had to be. Only he would be able to transform a chunk of wood into a plaything that Taako would trust to give to a child in his care.

Trying to speak suddenly took everything Lucretia had. She cleared her throat and forced out the words “Hello, Kravitz.”

The reaper looked up at her. “Oh, hello,” he said. The papers before him disappeared with a wave of his hand. “I’m sorry, Lucretia. Lup convinced me to do some paperwork while I’m on paternity leave. She seems to think that it’s going to be like a vacation for me.”

“Of course. They always judge your job by its easy days.” She attempted a smile and indicated the chair next to him. “May I?”

“By all means,” Kravitz replied. He slid Sapphire out of the way. “It’s good to see you. We haven’t talked since Candlenights.”

“I know. That’s my fault, really. How have you been?”

“I’m all right. The learning curve has been steeper than I anticipated, but Taako and I seem to be managing well. Angus has been a big help.”

The two of them made small talk until Taako emerged from the kitchen, drying his hands on a towel. “Okay,” he said. “We got an hour before the muffins come out of the oven. Sapphire is gonna need a nap after that, so we better finish this fast.”

Lucretia nodded and shuffled through her stack of papers. “I’ll try to make this as easy for you as possible. Both of you have to fill out one of these,” she said, handing Taako and Kravitz each copies of a form, “and sign several others. Then I have to get you to agree to some things and I’ll sign that I heard you agreeing to them, and then I have to fill out a form that says that I inspected the house and that it’s safe.”

“Jeezy creezy,” Taako muttered. “This is more than I had to do to join the IPRE.”

“It’s going to be tedious, but this is what you wanted,” Kravitz reminded him. He squeezed his husband’s hand. “Remember that.”

Taako stood up. “Yeah. Hold on.” Lucretia thought for a moment that he was going to leave. Instead he picked up Sapphire and rejoined them at the table, pressing a kiss to the baby’s cheek. Sapphire cooed. “Now I’m ready.”

The apartment was quiet again as the three adults worked through the pile of papers. Angus awoke and greeted them sleepily before moving into his bedroom so as not to disturb them. The cats migrated from beneath to the table to the sunbeam on the living room floor.

After the hour had passed, a timer began to ring in the kitchen. Taako left the table to check on his muffins. Sapphire, dozing in Kravitz’s arms, made a protesting noise around her pacifier.

“Oh, no,” Kravitz murmured soothingly. “All right. I think it’s time for your nap.” He patted her back. “Excuse me, Lucretia.”

“Absolutely.”

Taako emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of wine and three glasses. “Here,” he said, filling one and passing it to Lucretia. “I won’t be able to finish this shit unless I drink something.”

“Thank you,” she replied.

Taako poured wine for himself and Kravitz. He and Lucretia sat in silence until the reaper came back to the table. Then Taako said, “Hey, listen. I, uh… Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to,” Lucretia told him. “It’s been too long since we’ve had a real conversation, Taako. I know you’re still-”

“I’m not mad.” The elf stared into his glass. “Lucretia, it’s been six years. I’m not angry anymore. I just don’t have the energy. But you have to realize what it means for me to see you.”

She nodded. “I know. We’ve talked about this several times. Neither of us has to explain ourselves again.”

“Then why are we still like this?”

“If I may interject, my love,” said Kravitz, “it seems to me that you need to finally put this to rest. You’ve both explained things until you were blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean you ever reached an agreement. Tell each other what you need to say and end the conversation once and for all.”

Lucretia chugged her entire glass of wine.

“I deeply regret the time that you had to spend without Lup. But I can’t keep apologizing for what I did. I stand by my reasoning. It was only to protect you.”

“I know what you intended. I can’t apologize for being mad about it.” Taako lifted his own glass, then put it back down. “You… you were family. I wish you had just been honest with us.”

“Well, wish in one hand, spit in the other,” Lucretia said. The edge of Taako’s mouth twitched into something resembling a smile. “I wish that I had been able to restore your memories before it was go time with the Hunger. I- I miss you so much, Taako, and I want to be a part of your life again. Will you please let me in?”

“I can try.”

Taako walked Lucretia to the door after the paperwork was finished. He reached out to turn the knob, but stopped himself and looked at her. “Hey, listen. I- Lup wants to have a party after the adoption goes through so we’re, uh, we’re all gonna go to Bottlenose Cove and get drunk at Merle’s place. You should come.”

“Thank you, Taako. I will. And thank you for talking to me. I know it was difficult.” Lucretia placed a hand on the elf’s shoulder. He lurched forward and hugged her. Both of them blinked away tears as they stood there, embracing for the first time in sixteen years; siblings and strangers all at once.

Chapter Text

“Y’know, Boney M, you guys are probably gonna have to move soon.”

“Why is that?” Kravitz asked, lifting Tchaikovsky out of the Bag of Holding he was trying to pack on Angus’s bed.

Lup snorted. “You’re joking, right? You know none of the furniture Magnus is making you is gonna fit in this room.”

“Magnus is a skilled carpenter. I’ve seen him do very small, fine pieces.”

“That’s not the point, Kravitz,” Lup sighed, sitting on top of Angus’s desk. “Look, you just have to trust me- I spent a hundred years trying to cram shit into my room on the Starblaster, I know Magnus and I know how space works. You’re not gonna fit a crib and a dresser and stuff in this room and still have room for Angus, especially after Taako announces the adoption. You’re gonna get fan mail out the ass.”

Taako threw the door open. “We won’t get any fan mail if we never make it to the press conference,” he said impatiently. “Hurry it up, babe. Lulu, walk with me.” Lup hopped off the desk and followed her brother.

“What’s up, Taako?”

“You, uh… You reaped everybody that was there when you found Sapphire, right?” Taako asked her quietly. He looked around to see if anyone else in the apartment could hear them, but they had left Kravitz in the bedroom and Barry and Angus were entertaining Sapphire- and each other- by casting Dancing Lights around the living room.

Lup’s ears flicked nervously. “Yeah, I did. They all got sentenced to about a century in the hole, I saw them go into the stockade myself. Why are you asking about this now? You’re weirding me out.”

Taako sighed and scrubbed his hands across his face. “I… This- This fucking court thing is taking too long. Were- were Sapphire’s parents there when you found her? Are they dead?”

“Oh gods,” Lup whispered. She took Taako’s hands. “No, no, Taako, I- Listen, Barry filled me in on how the whole court thing is supposed to work, and it takes forever! And Lucretia is trying her best to get it through faster. I know she is. You know she is. She wants this to work for you. She wants you to be happy.”

“Lu, just tell me: are they alive?”

“I-I don’t know.” Lup shook her head. “I can look at my paperwork for you, if it’s that big of a deal. But it’s gonna take some time because I don’t know their names. Can I tell Barry?”

“No. You can’t tell anybody,” Taako said seriously. “I need a twin promise on this.” He and Lup squeezed each other’s hands.

“Okay,” Lup said. “I promise.”

Kravitz checked his watch. He, Angus and Taako were backstage in the large auditorium at Taako’s school. They could hear the crowd of reporters talking amongst themselves a few yards away. Taako had insisted on “getting ahead of the rumor mill” and not taking Sapphire out of the apartment until her existence had been announced to the press. He himself hadn’t left the apartment either, and Kravitz secretly thought that his husband had only arranged to make the announcement on this specific day because he was going slightly stir crazy.

“We’re going to have to stick to the schedule on this, Taako. If we go too long Sapphire is going to get tired and start crying on stage.”

Sapphire, who was sitting in a sling on Kravitz’s chest, looked disinterested in the whole situation and slightly bored without her favorite toy duck.

“I know,” Taako said, inspecting himself in his vanity mirror. He made a disgusted noise and turned around to look at Angus instead. “Fix your fancy boy hat, Agnes. It looks stupid.”

Angus righted the hat on his head. “I thought it looked dashing.”

“Um, no. Only I can pull off the angled hat look,” Taako told him. He adjusted his own large hat and dabbed at his lipstick. “Remember, stay backstage until I call you. I don’t want either of you looking shifty while I’m doing this shit.” With that, the stage lights behind them came on. Angus began to look slightly faint. “If you throw up I’m disowning you,” Taako threatened, looking over his shoulder as he stalked away from his vanity and onto the stage. As soon as he appeared in the reporters’ line of sight, the whole crowd began shouting questions at him.

“Taako, Taako! Can you tell us why you’ve been missing since last month?”

“There have been rumors that the director of the Bureau of Benevolence visited you at home, is it true?”

“What are your plans for the future of the school?”

Taako stood behind a podium in the middle of the stage and cleared his throat. The crowd of reporters quieted. “Listen, I know you’re all here to hear me talk about myself, and that’s like super great, but I have a Big Taako Announcement to make.” He leaned on the podium. “I, uh, I kinda got a baby recently. It’s all legit, I didn’t steal her or anything. It’s an adoption. The legal stuff is in the works right now. The director of the BoB is handling it.” Taako looked at his fingernails with almost theatrical nonchalance. “Questions?”

A halfling man in the first row stood up. “So, Taako, if you’re adopting a baby, did you know the birth mother, or was this anonymous?”

There was silence for a beat.

“I, uh… It’s anonymous. I don’t know anything about the birth family. Neither does my husband.” It technically wasn't a lie. “Anything else?”

Several reporters yelled at once.

Taako tapped his fingers a little too loudly on the podium. He grimaced, then motioned to Kravitz and Angus to come onto the stage. They stood on either side of him. Angus shaded his eyes from the spotlight. “This is my baby,” Taako said. “She’s seven months old, her name’s Sapphire. This is Angus, my, um… My apprentice. He’s sixteen. We’re keeping him too.” He couldn’t bring himself to say son , even though he knew he cared for Angus more than any of his previous caregivers ever had. Even though Angus was, legally, going to be his son when the stupid fucking paperwork got processed.

“Hi,” Angus said in a small voice. The reporters all stood up again, shouting questions to Angus and Kravitz. Taako felt his Stone of Farspeech go off in his pocket. He squeezed Kravitz’s arm and stepped backstage again, lifting the Stone to his ear.

“I did it, Koko,” Lup’s voice said. “I found their names in my paperwork. They’re dead, and they got at least a hundred years in the hole for attempting to do a sacrifice. Sapphire’s yours. You don’t have to worry.”

“Okay. Thanks, Lulu.”

“You think you’re gonna be okay now?”

“Yeah,” Taako said, feeling tension release in his shoulders that he hadn’t realized was there. He turned around and caught Kravitz’s eye as the reaper answered a question at the podium. “I think I’m gonna be fine.” With that, he shoved his Stone back into one of his many pockets and walked back onto the stage to join his family.

Chapter Text

Lup was right. In the days following Taako’s announcement, mail from his many admirers started flooding in. They had to have it all forwarded to the school to stop it from drowning the cats. Ren called them regularly with updates on how much of Taako’s office floor was currently covered in mail bags. But the days kept passing with no letter summoning them to court, and the days kept passing with no sign of Taako at Taako’s Amazing School of Magic. Cognitively, Taako knew that he would have to go to work some time; but Ren was handling things just fine on her own, and he could just sign any important forms from home, right? And it wasn’t like he would be completely abandoning Sapphire when he went back. Kravitz was there, and he was still on paternity leave, and if he had to go somewhere then Barry and Lup would be able to take care of Sapphire until Taako got back. Right? Everything was going to be okay, right?

Right?

“Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. You heard me,” Taako said for the third time, throwing open the wardrobe and pulling out the softest thing he could find. “Not going. Ren has things under control and chaboi needs a break.”

“I would hardly call first-time infant care a break, my love,” replied Kravitz. “But I suppose you can call Ren and tell her that you’re going to be staying home for longer, if that’s what you need to do.” From his perch on the side of the bed, he watched his husband bustle around the room agitatedly. “What’s the matter, Taako?”

Taako put on his too-high, avoiding-your-question voice. “All good over here, m’man. Just tell me though: Where, uh, where’d you put your Bag of Holding? I think you left Sapphire’s ducky in the front pocket.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kravitz gestured to his left. Beside the bed sat the bassinet Barry and Lup had bought them; and Sapphire was currently laying in it, holding the exact duck Taako was supposedly looking for.

“Oh.” Taako at least had the decency to look embarrassed about lying. “Well, whatever. Who cares if I don’t want to go back to work? Everything’s fine at school, and besides, if being a dad is in the brand now, then I should try to be a good one, right?” He scooped Sapphire out of the bassinet and cradled her against his chest. Sapphire cooed.

Kravitz stood up. “You’re such a good dad,” he said reassuringly, embracing his husband. “I know you’ve been worried, but-”

“How did you-”

“Taako, darling, we’ve been together for five years. Do you really think I don’t have a beat on you by now?” The reaper gave him a crooked smile. “I know your tells. And I also kind of overheard you talking with Lup.” Kravitz held up a hand to stop Taako from interjecting again. “Uh uh. Listen to me, Taako, I love you. I love you so much. Now, I know you’re anxious about leaving Sapphire, and facing the court, and probably about the parenting advice we’re going to get from Merle-”

Taako made a face.

“-I know you worry about so much, my love, but you have to have faith. Everything is going to be fine. And if I’m being honest, I’m a little hurt that you don’t think I can handle being alone with the baby for a whole day.”

“It’s not that,” said Taako. “It’s not you . I… Fuck, Krav, I got a baby with you, I think I trust you pretty good. We just-” He gritted his teeth. “Do other parents have to have this many come-to-Fantasy-Jesus talks before they get to be left alone with their kid? Fuck, I hate this.”

“If it isn’t me, then what is it?” Kravitz asked him. “Please. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s bothering you.”

Taako didn’t look at his husband. “I dunno if I can explain it. It’s just too easy. And too hard, all at the same time. Kravitz, listen. I just don’t know how to say this.” Shaking his head, he walked over to the bed and sat down. “We already have this kid but we won't be allowed to keep her unless somebody else says so? Bird Mom said you could keep her, so I don’t think anybody else should be allowed to tell you we can’t.” He frowned. “But it should be harder? Like, where’s the catch? You don’t just get lucky enough to just be… handed a baby!” The wizard shrugged and finished with “I dunno. I can’t go back to work tomorrow.”

As it turned out, it was a good idea for Taako to be home that day.

Angus had just left when the mail came in, as usual. Taako was stress baking. He’d been stress baking a lot recently- he was pretty stressed, after all. Kravitz was right. Even with two people, raising a baby wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. Not that Taako would be able to admit that now, obviously; after he had “needed a break.” And it did feel a little bad, leaving Ren out to dry like this, but come on, Taako was a dad now! Kid comes first or whatever.

Knead.

Knead.

Turn.

Peanut scratched at the door and meowed. Taako told him to shut up, or maybe that was his internal monologue. Sometimes stress baking made his internal monologue external, though, so there was that possibility too.

Knead.

Knead.

Turn.

“That’s strange. This was supposed to go to your office.”

Knead.

Knead.

“Taako.”

Turn...

“Taako!” Gentle hands fell on his shoulders. “It’s here,” Kravitz said, sounding breathless with excitement. “It’s here. The court notice.”

The wizard spun around. “When?” he demanded. Both of them ripped the letter open, dough forgotten on the counter. “‘Dear sirs’ something something blah blah… Two weeks.” Taako’s ears flicked upwards.

“Two weeks,” Kravitz repeated. “The hearing’s in two weeks!” He looked at Taako, and Taako looked at him. Simultaneously, they pulled out their Stones of Farspeech.

Chapter Text

The morning before the adoption hearing dawned cool and slow; orange and purple spreading through the sky over the streets of Neverwinter as the sun crept upwards. The window in Taako and Kravitz’s bedroom gradually filled with light. Weak sunbeams filtered through the gap in the curtains, becoming a puddle of light that fell on the floor and ever-present pile of clothes beside the bed where Taako was asleep. Kravitz stood at the wardrobe. He gave himself another cursory once-over in the mirror, examining the impeccable black suit he had chosen to manifest onto his body, and left the room. He had to work today.

With the other occupants asleep, the apartment was still and quiet. One of the cats purred gently on the back of the couch. Kravitz’s foot hit something on the floor as he walked past the dining table and the thing rolled away, jingling loudly. He froze. Damn those noisy baby and/or cat toys. The whole point of leaving the bedroom was to let Taako and Sapphire sleep, not to crash into everything in the apartment and wake everybody up. Kravitz silently counted to ten before moving again. No screaming. That was good. Now all he had to do was get out the door as quietly as possible and- Gods dammit, somebody forgot to put the orange juice away.

The icebox was covered in several sets of small letter-shaped magnets that Barry and Lup had bought at the Fantasy Costco. Everyone who encountered the letter magnets seemed to be wildly entertained by the idea of them. Angus in particular had been eyeing them for a while. He had been the one to open the package and had written a long, surprisingly coherent sentence before running out of letters. Taako, of course, had taken it upon himself to rearrange the whole thing shortly afterward; and then several further times after that. It currently read “420 BLAZE IT,” “BALL TIL U FALL,” and “WE NEED MILK.” Kravitz finished the little bit of milk left in the jug, put the orange juice in its place, and kicked the door closed; then rearranged the letters so that they read “OUT OF MILK.”

A feather floated through the air past his face. A reminder that he needed to get moving. His queen was patient, but not infinitely so; and he definitely didn’t want to make Her Majesty wait on his first day back on the job.

Kravitz sighed.

Time to go to work.

Chapter Text

Magnus slung his bag over his shoulder and bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly. The grandfather clock on the mantle ticked down the seconds until, just as the quarter-hour chime ended, a tearing sound happened in the middle of his living room. Lup hopped through a rift in space onto the rug.

“This is the 12:15 reaper express from Raven’s Roost to Neverwinter, courtesy of her eternal majesty the Raven Queen,” she said with a theatrical bow. “Please keep your arms and legs inside reality at all times.”

“Can I use my arms to hug you first?” Magnus asked.

“You know it, babe.” Lup accepted the hug. “You ready for this?” she asked, summoning her scythe again when Magnus put her down. “Not gonna cry or anything?”

The fighter shook his head. “Nope. I’m a stone-cold badass. I never cry.”

“Oh no, of course not. I must have you confused with that other Magnus Burnsides who didn’t once cry to me about how much he loves puppies when he was just that drunk.”

Lup cut another portal and the two of them stepped into Taako and Kravitz’s living room. Magnus covered his nose as a strong smell of sour milk hit him.

“Taako,” Lup asked, “what the fuck happened while I was gone?”

Taako was makeup-less and looked like he had dressed in a hurry. Half of his hair was dripping water down his back, but the other half was perfectly dry. He sighed. “I literally just sat down in the bathtub after you left and Angus came in and told me that Sapphire threw up everywhere, so I was like ‘okay, no big deal,’ right? I guess I’m a dad now so I have to be the one who deals with puke.” Taako paused for dramatic effect. “Lup, I swear to Pan I haven’t seen one person barf so much since Merle got sick on that beach planet. It was literally everywhere and now I actually need a bath. I was just gonna go in there so I could avoid my responsibilities for twenty minutes!” He looked appalled at the very idea of it all. Magnus bit the inside of his lip so he wouldn’t laugh.

“Where is Sapphire?” said Lup.

“I’ve got her,” Angus replied, emerging from the hallway. “I’m sorry I interrupted your bath, Taako. I panicked.”

“No shit, kemosabe. That was a lot of puke.” Taako patted Angus on the shoulder, then leaned down to whisper in his ear. “But if you so much as look at the bathroom door for the next hour, I’ll end you. Capisce?” The detective nodded. “Good.”

Taako stalked off and locked himself in the bathroom. Lup rolled her eyes. “Drama queen."

 By the time Taako emerged from the bathroom, Barry had arrived and was doing paperwork at the dining table. Magnus had discovered that Sapphire was much more interested in Steven the goldfish than with anything in the bag full of toys he had brought her. He and Angus were laying on the floor watching the baby pat the side of the glass ball in fascination. Lup was using Mage Hand to lazily flip through a real estate catalogue that had “mysteriously showed up” at the apartment a few days after she suggested that Taako and Kravitz needed to move.

“‘Sup, Bluejeans?” Taako said. “Where’s my man?”

Barry turned a page. “Haven’t heard from him. Solo mission.” He glanced up momentarily and caught the look that flashed across Taako’s face. “Aw, jeez. Taako, you know Kravitz isn’t going to miss the hearing tomorrow, right?” he asked, reaching out to the elf. Taako yanked his hand away before Barry could touch him.

“Don’t get mushy on me, hombre. I know Krav’s good for it; he’s the one who was worrying that all you ding-dongs wouldn’t show up. Besides,” Taako said, “he said he’d start calling me if he was gonna be out late. Or if he was gonna show up with another baby. He better not be bringing home another baby!”

Sensing a need for a distraction, Lup threw a wadded-up page from the real estate catalogue at her twin. “Hey, Taako, take a look at this.”

The page bounced off Taako’s head and landed on the table. He opened it up. “Look, Lup, I know you think we need to move but- Holy shit ,” he said. “This house is, like, everything.” His ears stood up excitedly. “And it’s a steal. Imagine what we could do with a place like this.” Lup joined him as he cast Enlarge on the page and handed him one of Barry’s pens. Both of them immediately started drawing on the picture, leaning over each other and finishing each other’s sentences as they thought out loud.

“So we can pretty easily turn it into a duplex-”

“But not totally separate. I think we’ve been apart long enough.”

“True. And we’re defo putting indoor plumbing in this bitch if we need to.”

“Oh, natch. You know Angus and Barry are going to want a library, too.”

“So will Krav. See those dormers? That means attic space. We can put it up there.”

“Merle’s gonna show up with some kind of plant as a housewarming present. I’m thinking we ask him for a tree, see the empty space on the right?”

“Oh yeah. And it needs a catio. We can knock out some space on this side porch…”

“Kitchen?”

“Gigantic. Front or back?”

“Front, obvs. The property faces east so we’ll get more light. What about this shed thing in the back?”

“Probably big enough for a guest house. We had to work with less on the ship, anyway.”

“If we can’t figure it out we’ll just knock the fucker down and land the Starblaster in the yard. Capn’port won’t care. Nobody’s flying the damn thing anyway.”

“That sounds fucking sweet! Let’s do that!”

“Hell yeah!”

“ Hell yeah! What do you think, Magnus?”

“You should totally do that!”

The twins high-fived each other, put down their pens, and looked at Barry.

“What do you think, babe?” said Lup. “You would have to live there. Should we go for it?”

Barry studied the picture. It was an old house, with a huge porch and what must have been a massive attic. There were lines and arrows and marks covering the whole page, spelling out the twins’ plans for the property. One of them had drawn a big circle in the background and labeled it Star-blaster with three question marks. Barry realized that he had always pictured their lives after the Hunger with the Starblaster in the background; the ship that had carried them through so much watching over them as they finally moved on with their lives. Of course, Barry had always imagined that all seven of them would be together; but finally having Taako and Lup under the same roof would be more than enough at this point. Maybe having a guest house would encourage Lucretia to come down from the fake moon every once in a while. Maybe with the Starblaster in their backyard, they could fly up and get her.

“Hell yeah,” he agreed, kissing the side of Lup’s head. “Let’s fuckin’ do it.”

 Kravitz didn’t bother trying to be quiet when he came home in the middle of the night that night. He stepped through a rift directly into the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to lie face-first in the very soft mattress until he needed to go to work again. It was maybe possible that he understood now what Taako had said about not wanting to go back yet. Leaving your baby for the first time was super hard. How did people do it?

Somewhere in the apartment, someone let out an absolutely earth-shattering snore. Magnus must still be there, Kravitz realized, instead of staying at an inn overnight like he had planned. That would probably explain the goldfish in the bassinet next to Sapphire, now that he thought about it.

“Hello my darling girl,” the reaper cooed, picking Sapphire up. She smiled at him. “Hello. Papa’s home. Did you miss me while I was at work?” Kravitz showed her Steven’s ball with mock surprise. “Why, what’s this? It’s Steven Q. Fletcher, esquire! Oh my stars and garters. Have you made a friend, my little love?” Sapphire giggled and waved her arms. Steven turned to look at her placidly. Kravitz realized that it was probably all the goldfish could do. He carefully laid the ball down again and offered Sapphire her ducky, watching her as she chewed on it happily. Gods above, he loved her so much. How could his life get any better?

“Hey, babe,” said Taako from the doorway. “You wanna buy a house?”

Chapter Text

“Oh my gods. This is just s-so… On-brand for Taako.”

The next morning saw Lucretia and Davenport making their way through a large crowd on the steps of the Neverwinter Courthouse.

“You should have seen the press conference,” said Lucretia, pushing through a particularly rowdy group with a few well-placed elbows and authoritative “pardon me’s.” “That had the potential to go completely off the chain if Ren hadn’t had the foresight to hire security.”

Davenport laughed shortly. “I can believe that,” he replied. “Taako, well, he has a talent for getting people agitated.”

The two of them lowered their voices as they entered the building. There was no one to be seen in the entirety of the lobby, and the sounds of their shoes on the polished marble floor echoed throughout the entire space. Lucretia looked pensive.

“Captain,” she said, “Before we find the others, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you.” After finding a suitably secluded alcove to stand in, Lucretia gripped her staff tighter and continued, “Taako and I, we- We’re done fighting. I haven’t gotten him off my conscience, exactly, nor has he really forgiven me; but we’ve made our peace. I wanted to apologize to you again- m-maybe we could… Captain, if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I-”

“Lucretia, come down here.”

Davenport gestured to her and Lucretia knelt in front of him. The gnome placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve made my peace with what happened,” he told her. “It’s not… Well, it hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve come to terms with it. We all have.” Davenport shook his head. “Nothing is going to undo what has already been done. We lost that chance when you transferred the power of the Light from the Temporal Chalice to the Bulwark Staff.” Both of them remembered the sight of the Chalice disappearing in the relic disposal chamber. “I’m not going to tell you that you need to let it go; you- you can’t let go of something like what you did. But you also can’t afford to live in it for the rest of your life. I care about you, Lucretia. I don’t want to see this guilt consume you.”

It had been. For sixteen long years, a horrible, festering pit of despair and self-loathing had burrowed its way into Lucretia’s chest and refused to budge. It invaded her nightmares and made her doubt nearly every decision she’d ever made. Talking to Davenport and Taako wasn’t going to fix it- at most, it put a few Fantasy Hello Kitty bandages over the edges of the hole- but it was a step in the right direction. And she needed to take more steps in the right direction.

Lucretia stood up. She paused for a moment to take a deep breath in and out before rolling her shoulders back and tapping the foot of her staff on the ground authoritatively.

“Shall we?” asked Davenport.

“After you, Captain.”

Lup caught them as they rounded a corner and looped her arm through Lucretia’s while they walked. Giving the other woman a sideways glance, she asked, “You okay, Lucy?”

“Yes,” said Lucretia. “I am.”

Chapter Text

Time moved slower in the Neverwinter courthouse.

It had to. There was no other explanation, in Taako’s mind, for why legal bullshit always seemed to take so long. Even filing the cats’ proof of vaccination paperwork sometimes took all day. Which was why, he supposed, it was surprising that they had been called in front of a judge so soon after filing the paperwork to adopt Sapphire. He did know that Lucretia had had something to do with it; but he had already thanked her once- he had hugged her, for gods’ sake. Who was he supposed to be, Magnus?

So, he chose not to say anything when Lucretia showed up; simply offering her a nod before resuming the argument he was having with Merle.

“Just because she’s a baby doesn’t mean she’s not allowed to not like you. She probably doesn’t like your wooden arm or something, Merle, shit.”

“She doesn’t know any better! C’mon, just lemme try holding her again, then she’ll learn that I’m not so bad.”

“We said no, Merle,” said Kravitz. “There’s something about you that Sapphire clearly doesn’t like, and I’m not having her upset in the courtroom. That’s not what we want to show the judge.” Carey, who was currently in possession of a disinterested Sapphire, blew a raspberry at Merle behind Kravitz’s back. Merle gave her the finger.

Sapphire ended up making her way around to nearly everyone else before the hearing started. Lucretia, not daring to trust herself with something so important to Taako, had refused to hold her; and Davenport had been overlooked but didn’t seem to mind. She ended up with Angus just as a door labeled with a large brass “7” opened and people began filing out. A short drow woman in a pink cardigan stepped away from the crowd and squinted at a clipboard. “I’m looking for a... Mr. Taaco and Mr. Kravitz?” she called. “Please come to Courtroom Number Seven. We’ll be starting shortly.”

Chapter Text

It took several minutes for the last of the audience from the previous hearing to clear out of Courtroom Seven. The drow woman with the clipboard waved Taako and Kravitz over as the last person exited into the hall. “Hey there folks, how’s it goin’? Name’s Lucinda. I’m the bailiff. Are you Mr. Taaco and Mr. Kravitz? ”

“The very same,” Taako replied. “But, uh, shouldn’t you be wearing some kind-a uniform or something? Isn’t the bailiff supposed to be a rent-a-cop from the local militia?”

Kravitz resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh.

Lucinda looked miffed. “I’m not a rent-a-cop, sir. I’m employed by the court building and they let me dress however I want. My cardigan has no bearing on my ability to remove somebody from the courtroom if they get too rowdy.”

“Wanna see about that?”

Magnus raised his hand. “Ooh, ooh! I’ll do it!”

“No!” exclaimed Kravitz. “No, no, no. Just... no. Taako, Magnus, please. I trust that Lucinda knows how to do her job.”

“Yyyyyyeah, I’m pretty good at what I do,” Lucinda said, frowning, “and I’m pretty sure my Hold Person is good enough to put your big bouncy friend there out of commission for a good couple-a minutes. This ain’t my first rodeo.” She pointed at Magnus threateningly. Carey and Killian laughed at him. Lucinda continued like she hadn’t noticed. “Anyway. Unless you folks wanna try to pick another fuckin’ fight, please follow me into the courtroom.”

She led Taako and Kravitz to a table in front of the bar railing. Angus, polite as ever, refused to be shown to a seat in the jury box; stating “No thank you, ma’am, I have standing energy!” He instead placed Kravitz’s Bag of Holding on the seat and stood in the box bouncing Sapphire on his hip. Sapphire blew a spit bubble obliviously. Everyone else filed into the gallery seating behind the bar.

“All rise!” called Lucinda, now looking at Angus as though she couldn’t believe he had had the audacity to stand in her courtroom. “The honorable Judge Huonia presiding. Hearing is now in session.”

Everyone stood up and sat back down again as the judge emerged from a door behind the bench. She picked up a large stack of papers and looked at them through a pair of very tiny spectacles. Taako could clearly see that she was at least half elf, just going by her pointed ears, but everything else about her reminded him so much of Lucretia that he had to stop himself from turning to his sister and whispering Are you fucking seeing this?

“Ah, yes,” said the judge eventually. “We’ve got two petitions of adoption, and one official request for re-issue of a birth certificate for one of the children.” She flipped some pages before continuing. “This is the fastest I’ve ever seen this paperwork go through, and I’ve been practicing law in this city for more than seventy years.” Flip, flip, flip. “Everything is in order, filed and inspected by the Director of the Bureau of Benevolence and triple-checked by the intake filing clerk.” The papers came to a halt. “However, before I approve this I would like to ask you all some questions for my own gratification.” She scanned the room over the top of her spectacles. “I’m going to ask everyone to submit to a Zone of Truth. Including you, young man.”

Taako heard scuffling behind him and assumed that someone was holding Merle down so he couldn’t volunteer to cast the Zone of Truth himself. Classic Merle.

Kravitz cleared his throat. “Um, yes, your honor, we’ll all agree to go under a Zone of Truth.”

The judge indicated to Lucinda, who stepped forward and raised her hands to cast. Zone of Truth swept through the room with a short flash of magic, vanishing almost as soon as it appeared. Sapphire sneezed.

"Very well then, let's begin.” The judge shuffled the stack of papers again disapprovingly. “Angus?”

“Ma’am?”

“Is it true that the first time you met Mr. Taaco, he ended the encounter by throwing you from a moving train?”

Angus pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Well,” he said, “that’s not entirely true, ma’am. Our first meeting ended with Taako lying to me about having stolen an antique silverware collection. And it’s not just me that got thrown off the train, your honor, Taako also pushed Jess the Beheader off the train; and Magnus too, before he jumped out himself. But that was all because the train was going out of control and crashing into the station here in downtown Neverwinter. I would have died if Taako hadn’t pushed me.”

"Ah, yes," nodded the judge. "I remember that incident. Very well. Mr. Taaco?"

"What's up, your ladyship?"

"You're the same Taako from Taako's Amazing School of Magic? The one who was part of the Story and Song."

Taako gave her finger guns lazily. "You know it."

"So your appointments for guardianship of the children are that Barry Bluejeans and Lup Taaco Bluejeans?"

"How many fuckin' Barry Bluejeans are out there?" Taako laughed. Kravitz jabbed him with his elbow. "But uh, yeah, yeah. My sister and Barry get the kids if something happens to us."

"Which shouldn't be a problem," Kravitz continued. "I’m- well, let’s call me a paladin- of the Raven Queen, and as such I enjoy certain… Shall we say, employment benefits .” The implication behind his words hung in the air for several seconds.

The judged fixed him with an appraising look. “Yes, that was going to be a part of my next question. Mr. Kravitz, given your circumstances I’m sure any of the adoption caseworkers in the city would have cause to raise an issue with me; but the director of the Bureau of Benevolence has personally attested that your position will not pose an issue to your family by signing this paperwork. Can you tell me that what she has certified here is true?”

“Of course. I myself know that my job won’t cause an issue in my family life; and I consider Director Lucretia a close personal friend, so if it’s clear enough to her then it must be true.”

There was a moment of silence as the judge considered what he had said.

“Very well then,” she conceded, straightening the papers one final time. “I can see that the two of you do care very much for these two children, and I’m quite inclined to believe the testimony of the Director of the BoB on everything else.” She took a large stamp from the corner of the desk and slammed it onto the paperwork with a weighty THUD. “Paperwork is approved. Adoption is final. The new birth certificate will arrive in the mail shortly.” The judge smiled. “Congratulations, gentlemen.”

The whole room erupted into sound and motion. Lup sent multicolored sparks flying into the air. Angus ran from the jury box as everyone in the gallery started hugging each other and cheering. “Sirs, sirs! I-i-i can’t believe it! You did it! You’re my dads!”

Taako swept his apprentice into his arms and pressed a kiss to his temple. “You better believe it, bubbeleh,” he said, his voice weak. “Do you want me to cry off all my fuckin’ mascara for nothing?”

“Oh no! Taako, don’t cry.” Angus laughed wetly, because he was crying too. “Don’t ruin your mascara. You spent so long on your makeup this morning.”

Sapphire reached out to Kravitz, so he took her from Angus and put an arm around the boy detective’s shoulders. “I think we’re all allowed to cry today. Makeup or not.”

Twin puffs of black smoke appeared in the air as Kravitz spoke. Everything seemed to come to a halt. Two black feathers popped into existence as the smoke dissipated, floating gently down towards Angus and Sapphire. Everyone watched silently as the feathers dropped onto Angus and Sapphire’s foreheads and evaporated as quickly as they had come. Sapphire looked around in confusion.

“Well, look at that, boychik,” said Taako. “Bird Mom likes you. No goin’ back now.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Taako. I’m sixteen. I can’t go anywhere without my parents’ permission!”

Kravitz laughed. He pressed his face into Angus’s hair, overcome with emotion. “I love all of you so, so much.”

“Party at Merle’s!” yelled Carey.

Chapter Text

Davenport pushed open the front door of Merle’s mansion and took a deep breath. The night air settled over him, cooling the sweat that had formed on his forehead. He listened to the distant babble of the crowd in the house behind him. It was so good to see them all, but he knew he had to pace himself. If he got too overwhelmed he might start stammering again, and one “Davenport!” out of his mouth would have him right back at square one.

Again.

The porch swing creaked.

“Hey, Cap’n’port.” Taako had one leg tucked under himself and was staring up at the sky. The swing was just barely rocking back and forth beneath him. Sapphire was asleep on his chest, wrapped in a blanket that Carey and Killian had bought for her. Taako’s ever-present pointed hat lay on a table nearby. “Gettin’ some air?”

Davenport nodded. “Too, uh, too hot,” he said, climbing onto the swing beside the wizard. “Too short to deal with it.” He gave Taako a rueful half-smile. “Gnomes are, uh, gnomes are right at butt level for most other races. It gets old.” Taako chuckled.

“Not a lot of butts out here,” the wizard replied. “Just us chickens.”

The two of them sat together in silence, the swing rocking back and forth. The sound of the wind in the trees and the waves from the beach below provided all the sound they needed.

Davenport felt himself relax. He loved the sea. He loved to travel. And he loved his family, but the Wavesmasher was his home now. He had ten years of life to make up for, ten years of fractured memories and headaches and being a Fantasy Pokemon. He had made his peace, but he wasn’t yet ready to settle down. Not yet.

Sapphire made a snuffling noise and Davenport looked over at her.

“You wanna hold her?” Taako asked. “Y’know, you’re the only one who hasn’t asked.”

“Alright,” Davenport said. He allowed Taako to settle Sapphire in his arms, taking care not to disturb her. She seemed not to mind, simply turning her head and pursing her lips before settling down once again. Davenport marvelled at her. She was so soft, and she smelled like milk and Taako’s favorite lavender soap. It was much different than any gnome baby he’d ever interacted with, not that that was saying something. Davenport hadn’t been much of a family gnome before the Starblaster crew left their home plane. A hundred and eighteen years had changed him in a lot of ways, just like it had changed Taako. Neither of them would have entertained the idea of domestic life before setting out on their journey on the Starblaster.

If only that Davenport could see this Davenport , he thought to himself. Out loud, he said, “I- I’m proud of, Taako. She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks, Capn’,” said Taako quietly. “Hey, listen. Kravitz and I are, uh, we’re buying a house with Barry and Lup; and we’re gonna throw another rager when we’re done remodeling it. Can you come or will you be too busy getting your ass kicked by zombie pirates?”

Davenport laughed. “I’d love to come.”

Merle’s giant house had enough rooms for everyone in the crew to stay for overnight visits and then some. Taako and Kravitz had claimed one on the third of the five floors, right in the middle of the house. It was smallish, but that didn’t really matter since Kravitz could take them home whenever he wanted. Besides, all they did was sleep there, anyway; and Taako insisted that this particular room had the “most baller” ocean view. (Kravitz would note that most of the rooms that faced down the hill to the ocean had similar views, but his husband wanted what he wanted and he wasn’t going to argue the point.)

Taako found himself awake in their bedroom late that night. He was alone once again except for Sapphire, asleep in her new crib next to the window; a small shaft of moonlight illuminating her face. Taako sat on the window seat to watch her. Fatherhood had made him all introspective and weird, and he wasn’t sure he exactly liked it. The self-reflection part, anyway. There was a lot to like about being a dad once he got past all the gross socks-and-sandals stereotypes that Lup and Merle were going to be teasing him about for the rest of eternity. Kids were cute, they were mostly fun to be with, and he did have to admit that being Angus’s magic teacher had been emotionally fulfilling on a crazy level that he hadn’t even known he had. Then there was the attention, of course; Taako was never going to say that that wasn’t a plus, but it went so much deeper than even that. Here was his chance to do something that was truly good in the world, to prevent another child from going hungry on the streets and working themselves half to death just to survive. To leave a legacy as something other than Taako from TV, the famous chef or Taako from the Starblaster, savior of Faerun. Something that was going to stay around after he was gone to say that yes, he was here and he made a difference; something unlike he had ever experienced before, even on the worlds he had helped save from the Hunger.

His son. An unstoppable force of positive energy and tireless motivation for success.

His daughter. A tiny blonde ball of infinite potential, all wrapped up in a little white onesie covered in pictures of ducks.

They were going to be amazing.