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When Levi shows up at Erwin’s office, kerchief on his head and another around his neck, cleaning supplies in hand, Erwin stares at him dumbly.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like, dumbass?”
“Levi,” Erwin says with a sigh, “Squad Leader, sir and saluting would also be nice.”
Levi salutes him sharply feather duster thumping against his chest, “Okay, Squad Leader Dumbass, sir. Now can I clean this fucking disgusting office of yours?”
Erwin rubs the back of his neck wearily, “Proceed, soldier.”
Levi studies the ceiling. “I need Mike. Oi Mike!” he shouts out Erwin’s window.
Erwin refuses to ask; he returns to his paperwork.
Mike shows up not too much later. “What’s going on?”
“See up there?” Levi points, “all those shitty cobwebs?”
“Yeah.”
“I need your help, put these on," he hands Mike two kerchiefs. Levi pulls his own up over his nose.
Once Mike's finished tying them he asks, “Okay, now what?”
“Squat down.” Mike shrugs and does so and Erwin watches fascinated as Levi climbs onto Mike’s shoulders. Feather dusters in hand he directs Mike to one corner of the room and begins sweeping the cobwebs away. Mike holds him steady, his large hands on Levi’s legs, and Erwin’s stomach twists with jealousy. Mike gamely carries Levi around the room until Levi’s satisfied he's gotten every single one. He then leaps gracefully from Mike’s shoulders to the floor, landing as nimbly as a cat.
“Thanks,” Levi says.
“Anytime,” Mike replies. “Well, I’d better get back to training.”
From there Levi dusts Erwin’s book shelves, this time with the help of a simple stepping stool. Erwin supposes Mike’s only needed for high ceilings. He neatly rearranges Erwin’s books alphabetically and carefully cleans Erwin’s family portraits, medals and knick knacks.
Erwin is ordered to move his paperwork and himself until Levi has finished polishing his desk. Erwin moves to the couch which was the right decision since this chore takes Levi quite a while to complete. Levi doesn’t simply polish the top and call it a day. No, he cleans every square inch of the desk. Thankfully he makes no attempt to tidy inside. “I’m going to trust you with that,” Levi says, sternly.
Levi gets to work on Erwin's chair. "It doesn't need much," he says, "it gets a good polishing every day from your fat ass." Finished with that chore Erwin is allowed to return to his desk. Levi then sweeps the floor. He dumps the debris into Erwin’s waste paper basket and departs carrying it with him. Erwin assumes he’s completed the job and breathes in deeply appreciating the fresh clean scent.
To Erwin’s surprise Levi returns shortly with a bucket of soapy water and a brush and starts scrubbing the floor to Erwin’s amusement then consternation. He watches Levi on his hands and knees scrubbing briskly his ass in the air bobbing from side to side. Erwin’s pen has come to a complete halt; he stares as if hypnotized. Levi turns to look over his shoulder and Erwin quickly returns to his paperwork, pen scratching and leaving a huge ink blot on an important document for their next expedition. He swears under his breath.
Levi moves under Erwin’s desk wiping his brush back and forth very close to Erwin’s crotch and Erwin’s cock is paying attention.
Levi now kneeling at Erwin’s feet removes the kerchief from around his mouth. Erwin’s hopes rise so to speak and then are dashed, “Scoot back, I have to clean under your chair.”
“Oh, of- of course,” Erwin stutters jumping to his feet as Levi watches him, face impassive.
'What are you thinking?' Erwin wants to ask. It’s something he frequently wonders.
It doesn’t take Levi long to finish. He sits back on his heels expression as close to pleased as Erwin’s ever seen it.
“Thank you Levi, it looks amazing,” Erwin says with the utmost sincerity.
Levi grunts and rises to his feet. “At least it doesn’t smell like shit in here anymore.” and with that he collects his cleaning supplies and leaves.
Erwin smiles and thinks that Levi cleaning his office so diligently, without being asked must mean something? A way for the taciturn Levi to express his feelings, perhaps Erwin decides cheerfully.
*
The next morning Erwin’s passing by Hange’s office where Levi (dressed in his adorable cleaning outfit) is berating them while tossing things into a waste paper basket. “This is a piece of shit! Ugh, filthy. What the fuck is that?” Levi asks outraged.
"Hey that's important!" Hange screeches.
“Erwin make him stop!” Hange wails having spotted him lingering in the hallway.
“Do you need help with the ceilings?” is what comes out of Erwin's mouth.
“Mike already did it,” Levi says, “besides you’re too short,” he adds with a dismissive shrug.
“I’m too short?” Erwin asks, incredulously.
Erwin consoles himself with the thought that Levi considers Hange a friend as well so it’s perfectly natural for him to clean their office. It doesn’t take away from the regard Levi has for Erwin. It’s just maybe not as strong as Erwin had hoped, but being thought of as a friend is satisfying in its own way.
*
Erwin heads to the kitchen for a late lunch. The sight of Levi scrubbing the mess hall floor on all fours is much appreciated, but Erwin’s having a harder time reconciling this activity with special friendship feelings for Erwin.
Levi spots him, “Oi Erwin, I’m cleaning the toilets this afternoon, but I’m not doing that literal shit job on my own. Order some recruits to help me, okay?”
“Sure,” Erwin says, sadly.
“Pick Jones and Antwerp, those assholes deserve a shitty job,” Levi smirks, obviously proud of his joke. He has a strange sense of humor Erwin thinks, not for the first time.
“You got it.”
Levi hums in approval.
Back in his office Erwin’s working again on the never ending supply of paperwork he has to deal with, his eyes glazing over from boredom. He looks up in surprise to see Levi standing in the doorway cleaning supplies in hand.
“It’s already time again?" Erwin’s surprised, but Levi’s a welcome distraction. “You just cleaned my office yesterday.”
“This place is a fucking pig sty. Tch, I can’t believe I forgot to wash the walls,” he grimaces, “and this shitty door.” Levi trails his finger down the jamb and eyes it with disgust. He fastidiously wipes his hands with a clean rag.
“Okay, well carry on,” Erwin says, returning to his paperwork, expecting Levi to get started.
At the sound of Levi locking the door Erwin’s head shoots up. He watches as Levi stalks towards him.
“What?” Erwin asks, flustered by Levi’s steady gaze. He’s shocked when Levi sits on his lap.
“Erwin,” Levi says settling himself, arms around Erwin’s neck.
“Yes?” Erwin says faintly and his heart begins to pound.
“You’re a very dirty boy, aren’t you?” Levi asks, with a sultry voice and smoldering eyes.
“I am,” Erwin readily agrees.
Levi runs a finger over Erwin’s lips, “Should I clean you up?”
“Please.” Erwin leans in for a kiss, but before their lips meet Levi shouts, “Oi, Erwin, stop daydreaming! You forgot to send those asshole recruits to the latrines.” Erwin blinks, startled to see Levi standing in the open doorway.
“Ugh,” Erwin smacks his face down on the desk.
“Erwin, did you hear me?!”
“Yes, dear,” Erwin whispers.
He sits up slowly and pens a quick note. “Here give this to them.” Levi comes over and takes it from him. “Thanks,” he says his expression contemplative. “Are you okay?”
It’s unusual for Levi to ask him that, probably to ask anyone. Erwin lets it salve his heart a little. “Yes, I’m good.”
“Good. Well, I’ll swing on by after I’ve cleaned the toilets and taken the longest, hottest shower ever.”
“Why? I mean not that I don’t enjoy your company,” Erwin says afraid he’s giving too much away.
“So you can fuck me over your desk,” Levi says with a smirk. "You've been staring at my ass so hard I figured that's what you wanted."
“Is this another dream?” Erwin asks, bewildered.
Levi actually laughs and pecks Erwin on the lips. In response Erwin pulls him onto his lap and they kiss until Levi pushes off of him. “We’d better stop before I get hard. You can sit behind your desk and jerk off. I have to go do some actual work.”
Erwin tries to pull him back, but Levi eludes him. “Later,” he promises. And you know what, don’t jerk off. An old man like you probably can’t get it up more than once a day, if that.”
“You’re not much younger than me,” Erwin protests.
“I’m still in my prime though," Levi replies and with that saunters out the door.
Erwin stares after him, huge grin spreading over his face.
*
“Ah, it’s cleaning day,” Erwin says happily, admiring Levi in his cleaning ensemble. He’s determined to smack Levi on his very cute bottom at least once before he’s done.
“Mike can’t help today so you’re going to have to, short ass,” Levi says displeased. “If I use a broom I think I can just make it.”
Erwin asks, exasperated, “Remind me again why I’m not allowed to make comments regarding your height?”
“Because you want to get laid tonight,” Levi says gesturing for him to crouch down.
“Good reason,” Erwin agrees as Levi clambers onto his back.