Chapter Text
A sigh escaped from parted lips as Bakugo stared as his sliding door. The rain pounded harder than ever, pools of the water collecting on the balcony. He hated the rain. It wasn’t so much the atmosphere but the temperature and the effect the rain had on his quirk.
A shiver ran up his spine causing him to grip harder at the comforter wrapped around his shoulders.
Another day of personal training lost to this stupid weather.
Bakugo tsked looking at the clock; 16:30, dinner would be soon, it was already getting dark. He wasn’t even hungry really, just desperate for some time to practice his new explosion moves. But for the last two days nothing but rain drenching him within moments of stepping outside. And there was no way he was going to train inside, crowded by all those extras whining like babies when he took them all down. They were just “practicing” they weren’t trying to “compete”. Bakugo snorted at the thought. Life is a competition. It had to be if he was going to be the best. The number one hero.
His frustration found itself gathering in the creases on his forehead; crimson eyes glazed over as he imagined what his friends were doing. Soy sauce and Pikachu were probably playing some overrated video game, raccoon eyes was probably with them, clueless to the game mechanics but rooting them on nevertheless, unable to choose which one she wishes to be victorious, and Hair for Brains... he was probably with them, taking turns and not caring if he won or lose. That idiot just loved having a good time, though, he definitely knew how to be competitive. When those annoying idiots became his friends, he didn’t know. But that’s what you call it right? People you spend lunch with and can tolerate enough to pair up with during school activities.
Friends
The word was heavy on Bakugos tongue. Not something he was used to applying to himself.
Once again his eyes focused on the pattering of rain against the door. When he didn’t focus on his lack of ability to train, it was quite relaxing. Allowing his lids to hang heavy his heartbeat synced with the rain, that or it was suppressed enough that Bakugo couldn’t tell the difference anymore. With his nose tucked into the comforter his breath warmed the surface of his skin. The warmth battling with the cool air left his veins pulsing. The numb-like feeling spread to his cheeks and down his spine.
Slowly the crinkles in his forehead smoothed out, his brows no longer furrowed.
Bakugo was barely conscious of the low rumble of distant thunder, the tap tap tap of the rain on the door, the strong breeze against the building. Eventually it became much like a lullaby cradling him, holding him and protecting him. It was so quiet where he sat, compared to outside. A calm in the storm. The weather was so powerful yet so comforting. So much less daunting than the other horrors concealed in this world.
Soon the wind became harsher. A muffled barrier overcame Bakugos ears, he could no longer hear the world around him.
They’re not coming for you
The muscles in his face twitched slightly as his body slumped against the wall in defeat.
They know what you’re worth. What you’re destined to be.
There was a pounding slowly creeping into his eardrums.
You can never be a hero. You might as well be one of us.
Dull red eyes penetrated his very essence and he was frozen.
His heartbeat now thundered in his ears and he was suffocating. There was nothing. He could see nothing. But he could feel. There was a deathly chill, a dusty air settling around him, intruding each and every crevice and he was choking. His eyes were burning his throat clenching as a sickly tungsten hand crept onto his own. Fear. Panic. Terror. Flooded Bakugos veins. He couldn’t move no matter how hard he pushed. No matter how hard he pulled away. He was nowhere. He was nothing. And yet, he was being taken. He could feel the cracking on his palms before he could see it.
...Bakugou
Pale chapped lips curled into a sly smile.
.....Bakugou
A dull laugh filled his ears, echoing endlessly.
Bakugo!!
His eyes shot open, his arm swinging his famous right hook sealing it off with a blast of explosion.
“Oi! what’s wrong!? Bakugou it’s me!”
Bakugou straddled the red headed boy in confusion. His chest rising and falling as the adrenaline rushed back to his extremities.
There was a wild look reflected on the rock boys face as he slowly unhardened himself.
Still overwrought with confusion the explosive boy slowly stood up and offered his friend a hand
“K-Kirishima, what’re you..?” They both were brought or their feet as Bakugos wide eyes wandered around the room.
Where was he. What time was it. Why was is so damn cold?!
Suddenly his eyes flashed back to Kirishima, memories of earlier flooding back to him.
“H-hey! I noticed you didn’t come down for dinner and was afraid you were sick so I brought some left overs but when I came down the hall I heard thrashing and igniting and cursing I thought you were in trouble and-“ Bakugos eyes shot up in a glare, a blush rising to his cheeks and ears as he quickly looked away muttering.
“...-are” Kirishimas ears perked slightly straining to hear the other boy.
“Sorry Bakugo I didn’t hear that..”
“I SAID I HAD A NIGHTMARE AGAIN!!” Throwing his hands up in both defeat and frustration he slumped back into his mattress. His eyes once again drawn to his glass door and the rain outside. “...I can’t even enjoy the damn sound of the rain without thinking of...”
“...Kamino..” Kirishima said slowly and quietly. Almost as if he didnt want Bakugo to hear him. As if saying it softer would lessen the weight of the memory hanging in the air. It didn’t.
“..yeah” Bakugo had a strong urge to blow something up. His palms crackling at the thought. But the look on rock boys face was so ... so distraught... he couldn’t do it. And he suddenly didn’t want to.
Neither boy knew what to say. So they just shared the space around them, pattering rain drops filling the void of silence.
Bakugos eyes locked on a plate of food and a cup on his desk across the room.
“So what’d you bring me sh*tty hair?” Startled by the sudden vocality, Kirishima flinched.
“O-oh Todoroki made some soba noodles for some of us, it has a really good tahini ginger peanut sauce on it...” he chuckled to himself and picked up a small red bottle from under the desk. Must’ve gotten tossed there during the commotion. “And I brought some hot sauce since you love spicy food..” the blush was obvious on his face. The reason for it was unknown but to be fair, this was a very awkward encounter.
Bakugo sighed and stood up taking the red bottle from his hands
“Thanks” the gracious statement felt much like defeat from his normal angry self. But Bakugo felt defeated. He felt weak. Torn down. He didn’t want to deal with these battles anymore. It was getting too much. He grabbed the tray of noodles and peeked isn’t the cup nearby “what’s this” he inquired.
“Oh that!” The redheads smile perked back into its normal place as he bounced over to Bakugo “THAT is my very super special tea and lemon recipe! My mom used to make me it on rainy days” he was scratching his head nervously. Bakugo could understand feeling weird about sharing something so... personal. It was uncomfortable. But not... unpleasant. “I noticed you were a bit....” Kirishima searched for the right word so not to upset the explosion boy further “...Displeased with the rain snuffing out your quirks abilities and this tea always makes me happy so...” his sentence trailed off as he realized he was over explaining again. His mouth set in a very unnatural frown.
Bakugou tsked and grabbed the cup. A warm fragrance danced around him, the lemon pierced his senses while the smooth leafy scent of the unsweetened tea caressed him. It really WAS comforting. Bringing the cup to his mouth he felt a sudden relax. Muscles he didn’t realize were tensed suddenly unclenched and an absent minded sigh escaped his lips. He couldn’t bring himself to thank his friend again but their eyes met in a mutual understanding, his stupid eyes sparkling at the fact Bakugou enjoyed the tea.
Bakugou made his way over to his bed again huddling up in the blankets, tea between his crossed legs and soba nearly up to his chin.
“Doesn’t that damn half and half know better than to make COLD noodles on a COLD day?!”
Bakugo sneered into a mouth full of noodles.
“Bakubro come on it was niiiice of him. He wasn’t even going to share with you saying you would t appreciate it blah blah blah...”
Kirishima tilted his head and rolled his eyes as he talked. He was always full of expression. “But I told him ‘nah Bakugo will appreciate it!’-“
“That’s where you went wrong hair for brains” he snapped
“Bakugoooo come on you’re already halfway done! Don’t pretend you don’t like them!” Bakugo scoffed with another bite being taken. Kirishima smiles to himself and plopped next to Bakugo on his bed resting his head onto his shoulder.
“I love the rain..” he mused slightly rocking back and forth, legs crossed in front of him
“It’s stupid and I hate it” retorted Bakugo with a mouth full of soba. Kirishima chuckled.
“I know but you have to admit it’s calming”
“Yeah... until it makes you remember things you’d rather forget...” Bakugos voice trailed off as he set his empty bowl on the floor quickly curling into his comforter again, tea close to his face.
Kirishima slightly worried at the sight of Bakugo so tame. So lost in thought. He was so used to the blonde exploding at everything around. He almost wished he’d just explode him and tackle him like he did when he first walked in. He knew how to handle him so much easier that way.
“I have nightmares too” he didn’t plan on exposing himself that way. It hung uncomfortably in the air. Bakugo was sternly looking through the window again at nothing in particular. A moment or two passed causing kiri to think maybe he didn’t hear him. Or maybe it didn’t register. Or maybe he was done talking about it.
Either way, Kirishima was okay with it. Sitting here in the calming pattern of the rain, warmth radiating off of blast boys tanned skin.
They sat there in a mutual agreement, understanding what each other dealt with. Both equally troubled. Both equally lost.
“Did they start after Kamino?..” Kirishima flinched at the disturbance in the still air taking a moment to process his words to think back.
“No... I can’t remember a time I didn’t have nightmares...” A dull red blush strikes against his cheek bones and along the ridge of his nose. He hates to admit it but he hated feeling so vulnerable. He hated admitting he wasn’t as strong, as manly, as he pretended to be. Bakugo nodded in understanding as Kirishima hid his face. Shame overwhelming him. It hung heavily in the air. “...they definitely got worse during...and after...” the dryness to kirishimas voice surprised even himself. Suddenly bold, searching for some sort of consolation he turned to meet his eyes with Bakugo “...it’s freakin terrifying thinking you’ve lost your best friend...” Bakugo tried to respond but his threat constricted. Any words would end with the flood gates of his eyes releasing everything he’s pent up over the last year. He wasn’t ready for it.
Turning away from the red head he nodded. The warmth of the tea traveling down his throat into his abdomen. Somehow helping him feel a little less empty. A little less scared.
It was something of a feeling he could call home.
Kirishima could tell it wasn’t easy for him. Bakugo was never one for words. If it wasn’t a string of offensive retorts and curses it was an explosion and a solid right hook. Charming as ever.
“...thank you...” the words were shocking coming from the stern frown plastered on Bakugos face. His brows were no longer knit together, he looked almost, flustered rather than angry.
“What for?..” Kirishima inquired, he thinks he already knows the answer but would rather hear it from the boy himself.
“F-for.... for rescuing me... eventhoughididn’tneedit” he added the last part quickly in an attempt to cover up his moment of vulnerability, his flushed face staring intently at the wall to his right side.
“I would never have left you to fend for yourself. Even if you CAN do it alone, you don’t HAVE to... we’re partners in crime fighting right?” He motioned a silly stream of uncoordinated punches that made Bakugo scoff.
“..idiot” he tried to hide it but Kirishima could see a smile form at the corner of his mouth, he could hear the laugh barely forming at the ends of his breaths.
“So, if we partner up in fighting villains... we can just...” it sounded so stupid in his head but Kirishima wanted to say it. He wanted to be a support and honestly, he wanted some support. He swallowed hard.
“Out with it sh***y hair” Bakugo pretended to be irritated but really he just wanted to hear what rock boy was trying to say.
“W-we could. I don’t know. Partner up against THIS villain.. the nightmares...” his voice got so small. He was prepped for an explosion. He knew Bakugo could easily take this as Kirishima throwing a jab at his strength, his ability to deal with it on his own.
“Yeah.” Bakugos eyebrows knitted together hard once again”y-yeah okay..” raising his hand in a fist he smiled weakly. “Partners”
Kirishima beamed and bumped his own fist against the blondes.
“ALRIGHT!”
“Shut up you’re way too excited for this” Bakugo muttered. But in reality he was relieved. Being alone was so hard. Baring the weight was so heavy. He needed this.
Kirishima was silently beaming next to Bakugo, legs crossed now sharing the comforter that blanketed his bed.
He thought hard, back to what Kirishima said awhile ago. He had wanted to respond but couldn’t...
“Why did you have nightmares when you were younger?..” Bakugos voice was small. He was slightly uncomfortable asking such a personal question. But he knew Kirishima would ask him similarly personal questions later on and it’s easier if Kirishima answers first.
The beaming redhead suddenly went pale, his pupils shrinking and his neck reddening
“Y-you know.. kid stuff... like. Like. Monsters and ghosts!” Bakugo knew he was lying and it was starting to get under his skin.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” he jerked his head the opposite direction. The rejection of trust hurt. It really freaking hurt. He had opened up. He had asked for a partner ship and now he wouldn’t confide in him?!
“Hey it’s the truth!” It was not the truth. Kirishima swallowed hard again. Attempting to smile so Bakugo would let it go. The smile looked so forced. So wrong on the usually cheering boy.
Disturbing
Bakugo thought to himself.
“I need to get to bed it’s getting late” Bakugo said with an emptiness in his voice that left Kirishima distressed.
Curling into his comforter Bakugo laid down, face tucked into the corner of his room.
Kirishima didn’t want to go. Guilt panged his chest and held a tight grip around his throat.
He wanted to be able to tell him. Damn it. He wanted to.
He won’t respect you anymore. He will find out who you really are. What you’re really made of. He will know you’re not manly at all. You’re a coward.
The thoughts filled his brain and made him want to explode. It felt like hours he was stuck there in his own mind. As he drifted back to reality however, the deep echo of Bakugos last words still hung in the air.
He hesitated once more, motioning to say something when Bakugo gripped a pillow over his head and kicked his legs toward Kirishima motioning him to leave
“Get the f*** out your breathing sounds needy and annoying.”
He decided to leave it be.
He didn’t have anymore words he could say. As he stood up he grabbed the dirtied kitchen ware and closed the door behind him.
Although the air outside his room was lacking the tension, he still felt the weight of the past few moments making its way deep under his skin.
Trying to ignore it Kirishima washed bakugos dishes and washed dishes from the other students dinner. But it was in vain. The itching that trailed up his forearms only intensified.
Making his way up to his room, the uncomfortable burden hanging around his head and heavy on his chest, he thought deeply. Back to middle school. Back to when Eiji was nothing but a little worm in the ground. Bakugo would’ve hated him probably as much as he hates Midoriya.
Tears welled up in his eyes. Bakugo was a jerk. He was an arrogant a**hole. Kirishima slammed his fist against the wall that divides him and Bakugo. Why did he have to care so damn much what he thought. Why did he have to be friends with him.
He let the tears fall hard against his pillow case, silently shuddering as they traced his cheeks burning with anger. With fear.
You’re a fraud.
The voice in his head wouldn’t stop.
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
A fraud
He choked on his sobs until he couldn’t hear himself anymore. Until the world around him faded into a place where he couldn’t feel anything anymore.
***