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Catra didn’t know what she was doing. Didn’t know why she was here.
Shadow Weaver was expecting her back at the fright zone by morning. If she wanted to make it there in time, she should be heading that way now. Except she wasn’t. She was standing outside Bright Moon. And not like, down on the ground, looking up at the obnoxiously perfect castle and grounds. No, she was on a window sill, looking down one of the many spotless hallways.
For the center of the rebellion that’d stood against the Horde for so many years, you’d think they’d have better security. Still, Catra wasn’t going to tell anyone about it. Certainly not Hordak.
A good Force Captain would. A good Force Captain would do a lot of things that Catra wouldn’t, like not pulling their punches when fighting Adora and not sneaking into Castle Bright Moon for anything less than evil purposes. Unfortunately, Catra wasn’t a very good Force Captain, despite striving all her life to become one.
No, everything had changed when Adora wandered into the stupid Whispering Woods to find a moral compass. Little did she know she was dragging Catra’s heart on a string behind her.
“I’m telling you, Bow!” Sparkle or Shimmer or what’s-her-face said, her voice loud enough to carry down the hall before her, alerting Catra to her presence. “I think I heard something!”
Catra shimmied along the window’s ledge, latching onto the outside of the castle and balancing on there, claws digging into the bricks behind her. Her ears flicked towards their voices automatically as they continued walking down the hall.
“I think you’re imagining things, Glimmer,” Bow said, sounding sympathetic. “Maybe you need to recharge.” Glimmer groaned, the sound echoing through the halls before dissipating, and Catra moved, taking her chance.
Stupid. This was all stupid, surely. There was no way Adora wanted to see her. She’d probably go all She-Ra on her, trying to slash Catra with her sword before she could even get a chance to open her mouth.
As if Catra knew what she was going to say to her anyway.
Hey Adora! I know I’ve tried to kill you and your friends a couple times, but I still can’t sleep without you there and it’s getting more and more obvious to see how much Shadow Weaver messed me up when you’re not around. Come back to the Evil Horde with me?
Catra navigated the halls easily. Adora’s scent was all over the place, easily discernable from the others. Catra just followed the clearest path, her tail swishing behind her faster and faster as she realized she was getting closer.
And then – a door. Her door. Catra could hear Adora behind it, the sound of some sort of shuffling as she moved around in there.
“This way!” came Glitter’s irritating voice. Realizing she couldn’t stand there any longer without being discovered, Catra wrenched open Adora’s bedroom door and slammed it shut behind her.
Adora was in the middle of the room, clearly in the middle of changing into her pajamas and even more clearly alarmed by Catra’s sudden appearance.
“Catra?” she said, her eyes wide, and then she lunged for that sword of hers, still wearing a sports bra and pajama pants.
“For the honor of Grayskull!” she cried, and Catra rolled her eyes to heaven and back.
“Oh, for the love of God,” she said. “Put that monster away.”
She-Ra stood before her, sword raised and hair swaying all creepily behind her in the breezeless room. Although she looked different, she was still obviously Adora, and her expressions were all the same. Now, she looked at Catra with a mix of surprise and confusion and hesitancy.
There came a knock at the door.
“Adora?” It sounded like Bow. Catra held a finger to her lips, the universal sign for keep your fat mouth shut, Adora! and leapt up the bookshelf lining one of the walls, coming to a perch at the very top of it.
“Uh, yeah?” Adora responded, and the door flew open, in marching Bow and Shiny.
“Wha– why are you all She-Ra-fied?!” Bow cried out. “Is something going on? Are we under attack?!”
“Bow, what? No!” Adora said, waving her arms wildly. It was less reassuring than it would be were she not holding a giant sword. “I’m just… practicing,” she said, and beamed. She looked totally guilty; it was a wonder her new and perfect friends couldn’t immediately tell.
“Are you sure?” Bow pressed. “Glimmer thinks she heard someone in the castle.”
“I did hear someone,” Glimmer roared. “Maybe we should have another sleepover tonight,” she suggested. “You know, just in case.”
“That sounds like a great idea!” said Bow.
“Um. I don’t think so,” Adora hedged. “Just… you know. I’m trying to train a little, and then I want to get a good night’s rest…”
“Ugh,” Glimmer said. “The Horde ruined you.” Catra bristled. Glimmer continued, “you train way too often. You have no idea how to relax.”
“For me, this is relaxing,” Adora said. And it’s true. Catra had helped her chill out whenever she was stressed back at the Fright Zone – ask anyone!
Thank God, the stupid trio said their goodnights and Bow and Glimmer made their exit. Finally alone again, Catra hopped down from the bookshelf, landing in front of Adora. She actually turned back into Adora, then, too.
“What do you want, Catra?” she said. “Don’t you have something better to do? Some sort of mission you’re supposed to be on?”
“Maybe this is my mission,” Catra claimed. And they were trying to do something to Bright Moon again, still wanted to conquer it, just maybe not any time too soon. Everyone wanted some time to regroup and recuperate, so that was what everyone was doing. It was only Catra who was still running a million stupid missions for Shadow Weaver, the majority of them to spy on Adora, capture Adora, beg for the return of her stupid, perfect Adora.
“If this was your mission, we’d be fighting each other by now,” Adora said. She wasn’t wrong. Catra was too impatient for dragging things out, most of the time. She liked to cut right to the chase.
“Well then, you’re wrong,” Catra said, nonchalant. She walked over to the bed and plopped onto it, stretching out. It smelled like Adora. Felt like Adora, somehow. “I don’t have anything better to do.”
“So, what,” Adora said. “You’re just going to sit here and pester me all night? I could call Glimmer and Bow back in here, you know.”
“Yeah, but you won’t,” Catra said cockily. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure Adora wasn’t bluffing, but if she was, it’d only be seconds before she was out the nearest window and scaling the castle walls.
But as always, Adora was bluffing. She sighed, coming over to sit beside Catra on the bed.
“Are you alright, at least?”
No. I was barely alright with you there, you think I’m any better off now?
“Of course I am,” Catra said, laughing. “I’m not a baby, Adora. I’m not going to break without you around.”
“Then why are you here?” Adora demanded. She’d caught onto Catra. She knew her too well for her own good, always too effortlessly prying past Catra’s walls, slipping between the cracks like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“Can’t a cat-girl just miss her best friend?” Catra scoffed, and then she turned over onto her side, glaring at the wall. Stupid wall. There were exactly zero sketches of the two of them etched into it. And above it, on the window sill, were three remarkably life-like little figurines. Adora, Bow, and Glimmer. Adora’s double act replacement for Catra, obviously.
“If you really missed me, you would join me,” Adora said, but she laid down beside Catra. Her shoulder pressed against Catra’s back, warm.
“It’s not that simple,” Catra whispered. Not with Hordak breathing down her neck. Not when she was second in command, all the glory she’d ever wanted firmly within her grasp. Not when defecting would likely cost her her life, at this point.
But Adora didn’t know any of that. Didn’t know about Catra’s promotion or the anger and bitterness constantly simmering beneath her skin. Didn’t know about Catra’s betrayal, the information she held of Adora’s presumed dead princess friend. It truly was evil of her to keep that information from Adora, wasn’t it? To continue to let her mourn for someone who wasn’t really dead?
All this time, Catra had believed she was a good person. Growing up, surrounded by people she knew were enemies, she’d let herself believe that she was good. And when Adora became good, she told herself she was still doing it right, still just trying to do what was best for her, best for both of them. After all, they were supposed to look out for each other, right?
Except they didn’t do that anymore. They fought. And Catra was just one more evil face out of the hundreds in the Horde.
“Just for the night,” Adora whispered, clearly conceding to the unasked for sleepover. Catra closed her eyes, remembering other nights spent like this. Ones where she’d longed to roll over and face Adora. Longed to look her in the eyes and scoot closer. To cup her face and angle her chin and press their lips together. And after that, Catra would kiss every single inch of her face, and then every single inch of her body. She’d kiss her all over and hug her so tight and everything could continue being exactly same, with absolutely no need for Adora to freak out over it all.
Catra sighed. That would only ever happen in her dreams.
“Goodnight, Catra,” Adora said. Catra almost couldn’t believe it. That Adora was really letting her sleepover. Really trusting her.
She didn’t answer, instead burying her face in the pillow beside her. Answering would just give her away, anyway, her voice surely wavering in order to accompany the tears stinging painfully behind her eyes.
Instead, she let her tail brush against and then wrap around Adora’s wrist, casually enough that it could almost seem unconscious, accidental, even though it was entirely purposeful.
Adora fell asleep long before Catra, because even though Catra finally felt like she’d be able to sleep again, back at Adora’s side, she couldn’t make herself. Not when Adora was right there. So she spent every conscious second laying there thinking about Adora, and how much she missed her, and how much she treasured even the little time she was getting to spend with her right then.
Catra did manage to catch a few hours of sleep eventually, but she woke up long before Adora did. She must’ve already gotten used to sleeping in in this big cushy castle, nothing like the Fright Zone where an ear-shattering alarm blared them awake at 0500 sharp every day.
“I miss you, Adora,” Catra told her, careful not to wake her up as she cupped Adora’s sleeping face.
When Adora woke, Catra was gone, the bed beside her cold. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t convince herself that it hadn’t all been a dream.