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It was mid-afternoon on a ceasefire day, and the mercs were up and about. Demoman and Soldier were relaxing in the sun outside, Medic was working in his office while Heavy kept him (and his birds) company, Engineer was tinkering in his workshop, and Scout, Sniper, and Spy were gathered in the living room. Scout and Sniper were playing cards while Spy kept to himself in the corner, legs propped up as he read a book.
“Got any threes?” Sniper asked.
“Go fish, idiot.”
Engineer appeared in the doorway, wiping some oil from his hands with a rag.
“Any of you fellas seen Pyro?”
The other three men looked at eachother. Scout nudged Sniper.
“Got any Pyros?”
Sniper glanced at his cards. “Go fish.”
“Same here, Engie,” Scout offered with a shrug. “Ain’t seen ‘em either. I don’t even think they were at breakfast.”
“Must be in their room,” Engie figured, stuffing the rag back in his pocket. “Thanks anyways, fellas.” Sniper gave him a nod as he exited back into the hallway.
“Py?” He gently knocked on their door. “You in there?” No response. He was growing a bit worried, so he pushed the door open slightly. Just enough to peek in. He saw a mass of blankets gathered on the center of his friend’s bed, and made an educated guess that Pyro was huddled underneath them.
“You sleepin’ in?” He stepped inside, closing the door behind him and taking a seat next to the big blanket lump. He gave it a pat, and Pyro groaned in response.
“Pyro, you alright?” He peeled away a few layers of blankets until he could see their mask. They groaned again and retracted their head back into the blankets like a turtle into its shell, curling up and rolling over. “Hey, what’s wrong, darlin’?”
Engie started unwrapping the blankets from them again until their whole body was uncovered. They were clutching their stomach, still making muffled noises of discomfort.
“You got a bellyache?” Pyro shook their head, much to his confusion. “Then wha—”
“Crhmphs.”
“..What?”
“Crhmphs,” they repeated, sitting up, and he finally registered it: cramps.
“..Stomach cramps? I thought you didn’t have a bellyache.”
They sighed, putting their head in their hands for a moment. “Prrhmph crhmphs.” Period cramps. “Y’knmph, hmm mnphstrmph?” Y’know, like menstruation?
“Oh!” Engineer nearly slapped himself in his reddened face once he made the realization. “I know what a period is, son. I just, err, didn’t know you got ‘em.”
They gave a dismissive wave of their hand. “Mm mmph. Hm hudda hudda mmph, huh.” It’s fine. I’m in a lot of pain, though.
As if to illustrate their point, another particularly bad cramp seized them, and they flopped back onto their bed and curled in on themself.
“You want me to go ask Medic for some painkillers?”
“Mm hmph, hm pmmph!” Oh God, yes please!
He gave them a pat on the back and draped their blankets back over them before standing up.
“I’ll be right back, okay?”
He hurried to the med-bay, and gave a soft, tentative knock on the door. He knew how Medic could get when he was interrupted while working.
“Come in!”
Engineer let himself in, greeted by the usual sight of Medic at his desk, and the unusual sight of Heavy relaxing on a nearby lounge chair, covered in at least two dozen birds. He didn’t seem to mind, though.
“Hey, doc,” he started, approaching the other man. “Sorry to bother you, but would you happen to have any medicine for cramps?”
“Vell of course!” Medic stood up, immediately consulting the shelf behind him that was lined with dozens of pill bottles. “Vhat kind of cramps?”
“Uhh..” Engie hesitated. Medic looked back at him until he spat out, “Menstrual.” Medic’s eyebrow raised, and Engie hoped he wasn’t about to pry. He felt that this was a bit of a secret that Pyro entrusted him with; he wasn’t about to go around spilling it to the whole team. Thankfully, nothing more was asked, and Medic merely turned back to the shelf. He rifled through a few bottles, inspecting their labels and grumbling before putting them back.
“Aha!” he exclaimed, finding what he was looking for. He poured the contents into his own hand, then held his closed fist out to Engineer. Engineer put his palm out, and the pills were dropped into his hand.
“Take both of zhem,” Medic instructed, kneeling down beside his desk and pulling open a drawer. “And here—” A heating pad was placed into his other hand. “Use zhis as vell. If you need more pills tomorrow, don't hesitate to stop by again, mein Freund.”
He nodded. “Thanks, doc.”
“Tea might help, too!” Medic called after him as he left, “Chamomile! Spy has some!”
“Got it, thanks again, doc!”
He hurried back to the living room, relieved to find Spy was still there. It could be unbearingly frustrating to find Spy when you need him. Sometimes, if he caught wind that someone was looking for him, he’d purposely cloak himself and avoid them. Just to be an asshole.
“Hey, Spy, you got any chamomile tea?”
“Go fish,” Spy replied, peering up from his book. “...Fine, yes I do. Why?”
“So I can have some…?” Spy was always overly suspicious of anything and everything asked of him.
“...Yes, I suppose that’s why one would ask about it. I’ll be right back.” He placed his book down on the end table before getting up. Engineer spectated Scout and Sniper’s game of go fish while he waited for Spy to return.
“I’ve done you the favor of starting the water,” Spy announced, settling back into his chair. “The tea bags are on the counter. You owe me one, partner.”
Not really, but Engineer went with it anyway. “Thank you Spy, much obliged.” While the water was boiling, he went to take the other supplies to Pyro.
“Hey, sorry I took so long.” Pyro was under their blankets again and didn’t reply. He took a seat next to them and peeled the covers back. Once he did, he was able to hear a quiet yet harsh rhythmic noise coming from behind their mask: snoring. They had fallen asleep. He grinned, chuckling a bit. How cute.
They snorted as he gingerly shook them awake. “Huh?”
“I got your stuff.” He placed the pills in their hand. They pushed them through the filter of their mask, then threaded a long straw through it as well. They inserted the other end of the straw into a bottle of water. Fascinating.
“I’m makin’ some tea for you, too. Oh!—” He handed them the heating pad. “Almost forgot.”
“Thmph huh.” Thank you. Turning on the heating pad, they pressed it to their lower abdomen before curling up again. Engie offered them a sympathetic smile and pat on the back.
“It should kick in soon. You’ll be alright, darlin’. I’ll go get your tea.”
By the time he got back, Pyro was able to sit up. The pain had subsided a little bit; a dull, uncomfortable ache still remained, but the harsher stabbing sensation was gone. They were leaning back against the wall, dozing off with Balloonicorn in their arms when Engie returned. They perked up when they noticed the tray of tea and food in his hands.
“Figured you might be hungry.” He set the tray down on their end table. Two slices of toast, some eggs, and a banana. “But I know you might also be nauseous, so.. I thought you’d wanna start with this. I could get you more if you’d like, though.” They immediately dug into the banana, turning away from him so they could slip the fruit under their mask.
“I’ll let you eat and relax, then. See you later—”
“Whmph!” they exclaimed, quickly turning back to him. Wait! “..Dhmph huh.” Don’t go.
Engineer simply stared at them in surprise until they spoke again.
“Mm mmph… Hm huh smph hmm mmph mm?” I mean… Can you sit here with me?
“Oh, sure!” He took a seat next to his friend. “What’s up, doll?”
“Nhmph… Mm mmph wmph huh hmm hmmph mm, mm gmmph." Nothing… I just want you here with me, I guess. Underneath the mask, they were blushing. Engie didn’t have to know.
He grinned, wrapping an arm around them.
“You wanna spend time with this boring old man, huh?”
“Hudda mmphmm!” You’re not boring! “Cmph hm hmmphm hudda huh, thmph.” Can’t say anything about old, though.
“Hey!”
They giggled as he playfully punched them in the arm. They quickly finished their food and slurped up their tea with a silly straw. Leaning back against Engie, they sighed in content; the pain was mostly gone now.
“Mm thmmph.” I’m tired.
“I know you are.” He cracked a grin, wrapping his arms around them in an embrace. “You’d probably sleep the day away if you had the chance.”
“Hudda…” Their usual barely-comprehensible mumble trailed off into a soft babble. In record time, they began snoring. Engineer almost couldn’t believe his ears.
“Oh well,” he murmured to himself, buckling up for the ride and getting comfortable. Feeling himself getting sleepy as well, he couldn’t help but let out a yawn. He covered both of them with Pyro’s soft blankets before dozing off with his favorite firebug.