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i'm not the guy you're taking home

Summary:

he cursed the fucking day that he got paired with im jaebum, and he cursed the day that they both won first place, this never would have happened then. he wanted to forget about how jaebum's smiles began to mean something more to him, and when he started to savor every touch.

Notes:

title from calum scott - dancing on my own

Work Text:

They were all going out to eat together, why? Jinyoung wasn't quite sure, he didn't bother to really ask why, it was GOT7, they did things like that all the time. Okay, not usually, Jinyoung had to put up a fight to go out with Jackson. That was besides the point however.

Jinyoung wished he said that he had plans.

He, of course, was one of the first to arrive with Yugyeom and Mark, and it was just Jaebum who was sitting at the table, apparently sadly being the first one to get there. Maybe he was trying to be the good leader again and "set an example" for the rest of them, by getting there early. It almost made him snort.

Doing a double take, he recounted the chairs, surprised to see that there were eight instead of seven, but he quickly brushed it off as either a mistake, or maybe their manager was going to eat with them, because that wasn't unheard of either. He shrugged it off however, choosing to just not think about it as he sat down, Yugyeom on his one side, and Mark a seat down, leaving room for Jackson to go between them.

A hand was being waved in front of his face, and he blinked and turned to look at Yugyeom who was pouting, "Hyung, you weren't even listening, were you?"

 

He could feel eyes on him, and he knew that it was Jaebum, and it made him shift uncomfortably. Maybe if this had been a few months ago he would have talked to Jaebum, but Jaebum had ruined all of that by avoiding him. It was as if any sense of normality was gone forever. He gave an apologetic smile, "Sorry Gyeom."

The other three showed up not too long later, but there was still that empty chair, directly next to Jaebum, and Jinyoung didn't have a good feeling about it. At first, he had figured it was simply because no one wanted to sit next to him (no sides were official or forced, but if they were existent, then everyone was on Jinyoung's).

After awhile of chatter among everyone about a various of things, Jaebum did an awkward cough like trying to get everyone's attention, and so they all shut up. "So, I uh hope you guys don't mind that I invited someone else to come eat with us tonight that I want you to meet." The hairs on the back of Jinyoung's neck stood up. "My girlfriend Sooyoung."

Girlfriend.

And god, if Jinyoung felt weird earlier, it was like the entire world was spinning and he was just falling, the cursed word chanting through his mind, girlfriend. Jaebum has a girlfriend. And that felt like utmost betrayal, more so than anything else. He should have expected something like this, it practically was always looming behind the two of them, for years now, but they always avoided it. A part of him had always thought, or at least had always hoped, that Jaebum wouldn't take the cowards way out, but he really did sink that low, huh? Maybe him moving on could mean that Jinyoung could too, that he could not be as hurt anymore.

Yet he knew that that was a bullshit lie. It stung, and it felt like his heart was sinking, and like someone shoved a spear right through his heart. It made his eyes sting as he tried to push back tears, and it made his throat close up on him.

He cursed the fucking day that he got paired with Im Jaebum, and he cursed the day that they both won first place, this never would have happened then. He wanted to forget about how Jaebum's smiles began to mean something more to him, and when he started to savor every touch.

And he never thought it was possible that he would be able to hate Im Jaebum, but it was in that moment that he was sure if there was ever a time, that it would be now.

It was taunting that Jaebum had him come out to dinner for this. Like he was just rubbing it in Jinyoung's face, as if Jinyoung ever cared to be here to know. Maybe it would have been better if he had found out about it through a news article, or have it plastered all over social media. Or maybe it would have been better if he had heard from one of the other members, like Mark. If he had found out any of those ways, then he would have been able to cry in peace. He could eat ice cream stolen from Yugyeom, and listen to sad songs, and watch sad movies, until he could let out all of his grief and continue on.


But of course, Jaebum wouldn't give him that. Of course he had to find out right now, like this. Yet another place where he was suppose to stay friendly and give no reaction besides positive ones. He was setting him up, because now to act any differently, and Jinyoung would be the one who looked like an utter ass. He couldn't even find it in his own heart to be happy for Jaebum, or to be happy for Sooyoung. All he felt was how he felt betrayed, how his own heart was being broken, all he felt was his own bitter jealous and rage. Was Jaebum really that stupid? That insensitive?

___

When Jaebum had announced to the group that he had a girlfriend, he had a pretty good idea of what reactions he was going to get. A lot of screaming, and excitement, along with lots of teasing and questions. When he first said it, he was faced with a lot of stunned silence. It was awkward, because everyone looked at one another trying to gauge if it was serious and how they should react. And then there was when they gave pleasantries and questions. The teasing comments came then to try and lighten the mood, but it was hard to, because it was already ruined.

Jaebum then knew where all of their loyalties lied.

Sooyoung came not long after that, introducing herself, and she made talk with everyone, and the others had at least the decency to be nice to her. All except Jinyoung. He only sat there in utter silence, through the entire dinner, only speaking when spoken to. And he ignored Jaebum and Sooyoung as if his life depended on it.

It was only until after dinner, when everyone was standing around talking, that he placed a hand on Sooyoung's arm and leaned it, "I'm going to go talk to Jinyoung."

"Make sure he's okay," she frowned, genuinely seeming concerned. "He looked rather off all night. I hope he's okay."

He approached Jinyoung, grabbing his forearm and gave him a look. Jinyoung sighed, already know what he wanted, and willingly followed him into the bathroom. The second that the door closed behind them, he turned to Jinyoung, "What is your problem today?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Seriously Jinyoung? Don't act like a little did, why are you being such an ass tonight?"

"Oh like how you're being an ass right now?"

At that Jaebum straightened, "I'm not the one being an ass? You know, she's worried that you're not okay. So just tell me what is it? Do you not like her or something?"

He swallowed, "You're right, I don't like her. Happy?"

"No, I'm not Jinyoung. I just wanted my best friend and my girlfriend to get along, but apparently that can't happen."

Jaebum left then, and Jinyoung watched him go. He felt a bit of guilt eat at him then. Why should he hate Sooyoung so much? She didn't do anything, if anything, she's the victim in this too, because she's unaware of Jaebum, or how the man she's with his an utter coward who won't admit to his true feelings.

 

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