Chapter Text
I was seven, and you were nine
I looked at you like the stars that shined
In the sky, the pretty lights.
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
Growing up and fallin' in love
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was seven; Taehyung was nine.
Jeongguk considered Taehyung as his “bestest friend in the whole galaxy” even above his brother because come on, Namjoon always was such a know-it-all and never stopped trying to impress their fathers. Jeongguk had learned very early that he might never be as intelligent as his hyung. But he was cute. He was downright adorable. He knew that because he just needed to pout and look up at his fathers with his big brown eyes and they would melt - 99% of the time. So yeah, maybe Jeongguk didn’t even aspire to make intelligent decisions and just trusted his adorableness to save his ass.
He also knew he was cute because Taehyung never stopped telling him. Other boys his age would probably find it weird when their best friends called them cute but Jeongguk didn’t know it any different. Taehyung had tried to suffocate him with his love since they met. At first, he had hated it and had always tried to flee from the elder. Now, he didn’t hate it as much but it still wasn’t his favourite thing to pass time with. But ... from time to time he couldn’t help but kind of tease Taehyung about his affection for the younger.
They would be in Taehyung’s backyard (because apparently, his appa could afford that while Jeongguk’s couldn’t) playing with their laser swords - Star Wars was one of the many things they bonded over. Jeongguk would usually win since Taehyung was easily distracted and often times didn’t see his “death” coming.
“Okay, okay, you win,” Taehyung huffed, lying in the green grass and trying to catch his breath. “What would you like me to do, master?”
“I dare you to kiss me,” Jeongguk exclaimed, sticking his chest out. Taehyung tilted his head, like their family dog would when he was confused.
“Your wish is my command, I guess.” Taehyung shrugged and got on his feet but before he could even reach for his best friend, Jeongguk had already bolted. “I’m gonna beat you up, you little shit.”
“Language, Kim Taehyung!” Seokjin scolded from the terrace.
They would chase each other through the backyard until both of them were out of breath and their legs couldn’t support them anymore. Taehyung always said he’d beat Jeongguk up at some point, he probably could since he was bigger. He never did though. He tackled him with his last ounce of strength instead and pressed a sloppy kiss on the bridge of Jeongguk’s nose. Jeongguk would never admit it but he liked those kisses.
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was eight, Taehyung was ten.
Taehyung’s appa was getting married. It was a bit weird, to be honest. Most of his life Taehyung had been alone with his father. And they had been fine. They had each other.
He liked Yujin though. She was really nice and she always gave honest feedback on his works of art - read his crappy drawings and even crappier poems. She worked at a flower shop and she always smelled really good. Sometimes she would bring Taehyung a flower and explain its meaning to him. And she loved his appa a lot. She also loved Jeongguk - which definitely would’ve been a deal breaker if it hadn’t been the case.
Still, he felt a bit sour about having to share his father’s love from now on.
That was why his uncle Yoongi had a talk between “real men” with him a few days before the wedding was to take place.
“You’re a bit jealous, aren’t you?” Yoongi mused while handing Taehyung a pack of orange juice.
“I always thought, I’d be all appa needs to be happy,” the boy admitted while playing with the straw before nipping at it for a few seconds.
“And he thought the same about you,” Yoongi replies, making Taehyung furrow his brows. If this was how real men talked then he didn’t understand one bit. “I mean, you have Jeonggukkie, right? If you can’t spend time with your appa because he’s busy or tired, then you always have Jeonggukkie, no?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung breathed still not getting where this was going.
“Your appa doesn’t have a special someone like that. He has me and Uncle Jimin and Uncle Hoseok, but we can’t be that special someone because if you’re an adult ... well let’s just say at our age we don’t just need a best friend, we sometimes need a girlfriend or boyfriend or wife or husband.”
“Someone, to kiss on the mouth?” Taehyung asked. “Because appa and Yujin do that a lot.”
Yoongi let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah, for example.” For a second both of them just sipped their orange juice before Yoongi spoke up again. “Do you know what it means if your appa marries Yujin?”
“What?”
“That you might get a little brother or sister,” Yoongi couldn’t help but smile when Taehyung’s whole face lit up.
“For real?”
Yoongi chuckled. “For real, but don’t pressure them about it too much.” Taehyung continued to wear a wide smile on his face. The elder watched him grinning. He wouldn’t have said anything if he didn’t know that Seokjin had actually wanted a second child since Taehyung was about two years old and apparently Yujin didn’t mind having a child of her own either. So the odds were looking pretty good.
“Do you think I can call Yujin eomma?” Taehyung asked, the curiosity getting the best of him.
Yoongi let out a low hum. “Why don’t you try and see how she reacts?”
The wedding was beautiful. Taehyung got to be his father’s best man and Jeongguk announced himself as page boy and flower boy. In the end, Taehyung ended up throwing a few flower petals as well, just because Yujin was looking so beautiful in her dress and he thought she deserved to have flower petals raining down on her.
It was when he was dancing with Yujin on the big dance floor, that he started imagining his own wedding. He wanted to have a really big wedding. Even bigger than this one. Because it was a celebration of love, wasn’t it? So it should be celebrated as big as possible. He wanted a lot of flowers as well because they looked pretty. And he wanted lamb skewers for his wedding. Jeongguk loved those and Taehyung thought they were alright. Silently he started pondering who he would marry. Would the girl be as beautiful as Yujin? Would it be a boy maybe? Even though Taehyung was only ten, he already had a feeling that it might be a boy. He didn’t dislike girls per say, he found them really pretty. But sometimes he found boys just as pretty if not prettier. Jeongguk was pretty for example. Namjoon was too and maybe his Uncle Jimin was also very beautiful. It must run in the family, the prettiness.
“What are you thinking about?” Yujin asked Taehyung quietly after he had almost stepped on her dress for the possible one-hundredth time this evening. She had a gift for noticing when Taehyung was deep in thought.
“About my wedding,” Taehyung replied smiling. “Who do you think I will marry?”
“Someone you will love very dearly, I believe,” Yujin hummed and winked at the young boy. “Maybe Jeongguk?” It was kind of an insider joke. Seokjin, Yoongi and Jimin would often joke about the fact that it was only a matter of time until the two boys would fall in love. Sometimes they would mention it in front of the children but of course, the boys wouldn’t understand their allusions. Normally Yujin would only roll her eyes at the three men but tonight she couldn’t help herself.
Taehyung smiled slightly. “Maybe,” he answered. “Do you think he would marry me?”
“Only time will know, TaeTae.” Taehyung wouldn’t understand until much much later.
The song came to an end. “Thank you for this dance, eomma.”
Yujin smiled, happy tears sparkling in her eyes. “You’re welcome, baby.”
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was nine; Taehyung was eleven.
Almost exactly one year after Taehyung’s parents’ wedding his baby sister was born. They gave her the name Byul - the literal translation was “star” - and everyone was just over the moon.
Yujin and Seokjin, of course, loved her very much and because Taehyung was already big enough, he understood that now everyone had to rather focus on his sister than on him. He was able to get himself food and put on his clothes. She was not. She couldn’t even go to the toilet. So he was fine with everyone spoiling her for the time because that was what Byul deserved.
Other than that Taehyung loved Byul so so much. He had always wished for a little sibling. Admittedly a younger brother would’ve been perfect so Jeongguk and he could have sword fights with him, but he guessed a younger sister was alright too. From the day she was born, the boy was already excited about spending time with her. Byul wasn’t able to do more than crying and whining and just existing but he was already planning on playing with dolls and having tea parties. He was gonna be the best big brother he could be.
Jeongguk and Namjoon fell in love the second they laid eyes on the tiny human in Yujin’s arms. Jeongguk had almost whined at his fathers for being the youngest one, but living in a traditional country like South Korea, Yoongi and Jimin couldn’t just adopt another child - as much as they would’ve liked. So the family had settled with a small dog called Holly who was usually the whole pride of Jeongguk. But watching his hyung holding his little sister, still made him just a tiny bit jealous. The jealousy didn't stay long though thanks to Taehyung’s family who insisted numerous times that they were all a big family and that Namjoon and Jeongguk were Byul’s older brothers as much as Taehyung was. And yeah, Jeongguk could live with that.
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was ten; Taehyung was twelve.
Taehyung sat Jeongguk down for a serious talk. Jeongguk was extremely nervous because that was pretty out of the ordinary. Don’t get him wrong. They did talk about serious things ... sometimes. But come on, they were ten and twelve. Of course, their main topics were video games, superheroes and sometimes their families. It just didn’t come to their mind to talk about politics or anything like that.
So when Taehyung entered Jeongguk’s room, telling him they needed a “serious chat” ... yeah, Jeongguk felt like shitting his pants out of fear. He really didn’t know what Taehyung might want to talk about. Had he done something wrong? Had Taehyung found himself a better friend? Someone who wasn’t two years younger? It couldn’t be, right? Taehyung had been acting completely normal.
“So,” Jeongguk began nervously, plopping down onto his bed. Taehyung sat down next to him on the mattress, making himself at home as always. “W-What’s up?”
“Uh, well,” Taehyung stammered and ran his fingers through his hair. He was nervous too. For some reason that calmed Jeongguk’s mind. “I’ve been thinking about some stuff for quite some time now. A few years maybe. And I think I’ve finally come to a conclusion. You’re the first person I’m telling this, though. Your opinion is really important to me.”
Jeongguk nodded slowly. “O-Okay.”
Taehyung gnawed on his bottom lip, staring at Jeongguk’s Iron Man bed sheets. The younger boy could almost see Taehyung building up the courage to spill his secret. Jeongguk, on the other hand, was holding his breath. He feared that if he was breathing too loudly, he might not hear what Taehyung had to say.
“I like kissing boys,” Taehyung blurted, right as Jeongguk was about to encourage him to say something.
Perplexed the younger boy stared at his best friend. His brain was working a mile a minute but he still felt like he didn’t get anywhere.
The elder misunderstood Jeongguk’s silence and quickly went to explain himself. “I like kissing girls too. I mean, it’s okay, it’s good. But I also like kissing boys. Maybe just a tad bit more. So I really thought about it and there’s more than just kissing to it. I mean — umm — I mean I don’t only want to kiss boys. I’d like to be with them too. With holding hands and dates, you know? And I didn’t know who to tell first. But you’re my best friend and also ... also you’re parents are ... you know ... gay.”
Jeongguk still only blinked at his best friend owlishly. What even was he supposed to say?
“U-Umm,” he stuttered after he realised that Taehyung would probably die of nervousness if he didn’t say anything at all. “Does that mean you’re gay?”
“I- No, the correct term is bisexual I think. Because I like boys and girls, you know?” Taehyung answered as calmly as possible.
Jeongguk hummed lowly in understanding. “Am I supposed to have a problem with that?”
He could see Taehyung’s shoulders sagging in relief. The older boy put on a smile and leaned over to gently take Jeongguk’s hand in his.
“No, of course not, Jeonggukkie,” he said quietly. “I didn’t expect you to have any mean comments at all, I don’t know why I was afraid to tell you. It’s just ... other people in school are still pretty mean to gay persons and I guess that kind of scared me. And adults can be really mean too. You remember all those times people said nasty things to your parents? Just because they're two men? It makes it kinda hard to come out. But I’m sorry I doubted your judgement for even one second.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Jeongguk immediately replied. “It’s not really positive to be gay, so I’m really happy that you can admit it to yourself. Or well, being half-gay.”
“Half-gay,” his best friend snorted and shook his head. “But don’t think being gay is negative, just because you get a bit of hate. Don’t ever think that. You have the right to love who you want to.”
“I know. Appa and paps tell me all the time.”
“And they’re right.” Taehyung watched the younger with careful eyes. “Have you ever thought about being anything but straight?”
Jeongguk shook his head. “No.” Lies. “How did you know?”
Taehyung shrugged. “I don’t know, I just knew at some point.”
“You said, you liked kissing boys. So who did you kiss?”
“Is Jeonggukkie jealous?” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows, leading Jeongguk to shove him playfully. “Ouch, no seriously. I kissed Minho. You know, from 6th grade?”
Jeongguk gasped. “He’s even older than you.”
“He kisses well,” the elder grinned. Jeongguk let out an annoyed groan before hitting him with a pillow in his face.
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was 13; Taehyung was 15.
Jeongguk needed advice. He needed serious advice and for that, he had to take the train to the outskirts of Seoul. He had told his parents that he was gonna be with Taehyung, so he really hoped that his best friend wouldn’t unwillingly snitch on him. Not that Jeongguk was going somewhere he wasn’t allowed to. Actually, his parents would appreciate the fact that Jeongguk wanted to visit his uncle Hoseok on his own.
But Jeongguk feared that they would question why he wanted to visit his parents’ friend. Because that was the root of the problem. Jeongguk didn’t keep a lot of secrets from his parents. When he had a problem he always went to either his parents, Namjoon or Taehyung. But none of these persons were a good option in his situation. He needed the opinion of an outsider. And he trusted Hoseok enough to not go running to his parents. After all, the man had told Jeongguk since he was a child that he would always be there to talk to.
Since he didn’t have Hoseok’s exact address he had to wander around aimlessly after exiting the train, trying to remember the route. It took him 20 minutes until he stood in front of the small house in which Hoseok lived with his wife and daughter. His parents had talked about how Hoseok had decided to work from home for a few months after the birth of his daughter, which was why Jeongguk could be certain that he would be home.
Sighing quietly, Jeongguk rang the doorbell. It was now or never. No chickening out. A few seconds later, the door opened and Hoseok peeked his head out.
“Jeonggukkie?” he asked confused. “Is everything alright? Why are you here?”
“I wanted to talk,” Jeongguk admitted sheepishly. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, sure,” Hoseok quickly replied, opening the door further so Jeongguk could step in. “Ara is sleeping in the living room, so we have to be quiet.”
Jeongguk nodded. “That’s okay. Can I see her?” His family had visited the baby a few days after she was born but since then they hadn’t been able to meet up. Ara had to be around three months old now.
“Of course.” Hoseok smiled at him brightly before leading him into the living room. “Ara’s mum is out with her sister today. So it’s just me and the little one.”
Ara was napping on the sofa surrounded by piles of pillows and blankets. Jeongguk watched as she scrunched up her nose in her sleep and smacked her lips together. He let out a quiet giggle. He missed Byul being so little. Now she was so big and running around. It was fun playing with her because she loved football and sword fights as much as Jeongguk and Taehyung did at her age - but he missed the time she couldn’t do much and would be happy if Jeongguk made faces at her. Now she had at least three tantrums a day.
“She’s so cute,” Jeongguk mumbled, gasping in shock when Ara stirred and slowly blinked slowly up at him. He turned towards Hoseok. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake her.”
Hoseok chuckled and leaned down to stroke Ara’s head. “Don’t worry, you didn’t. She hasn’t woken up without crying for quite some time. Do you want to hold her? Now that she’s awake we can just stay in the living room.”
“Umm,” Jeongguk stammered before nodding. “Yeah, okay, yeah. I’ll hold her.”
“Sit down then.” Hoseok nodded to the space on the sofa next to Ara’s pile, while picking up his daughter gently. Jeongguk tried to sit down as comfortably as possible before Hoseok helped him hold Ara correctly. “Don’t worry, Jeonggukkie, I trust you. You managed not to kill Byul, so I know Ara will be fine.”
“Haha,” Jeongguk replied sarcastically, his voice gentle nonetheless as for to not disturb Ara.
Hoseok plopped down on the armchair across from the boy and watched him curiously. “What did you want to talk about? Is something wrong?”
“Not necessarily,” Jeongguk mumbled. He had already prepared what to say on the train but still, he was scared he wouldn’t get his point across very well. “I- Do you believe that having gay parents makes you gay?”
“Of course not, Jeonggukkie,” Hoseok replied quickly. “Did someone tell you that?”
“Not someone in particular.” Jeongguk sighed. “It seems to be a common knowledge more like.”
“But it’s wrong, you know that, right?”
“Do I?” Jeongguk let out a humourless laugh.
Hoseok’s eyes looked at him pitifully. “What are the people in school doing to you?”
The young boy’s eyes widen comically. “How did you-“
“I was in school too once, you know?” Hoseok grimaced. “I know what kids your age are capable of and even though I think that gay kids had it a lot harder when I was little. I know that it’s still not easy. So what do they do?”
“They shove me in the hallways,” Jeongguk mumbled, his eyes glued to the baby in his arms. She was staring up at him like he was the sun, not knowing that he was far from shining. “They call me names. They call me ‘faggot’ and other stuff and they insult appa and paps too. Sometimes they put stuff in my locker or they throw food at me. They make sure I know that I’m at the deep end of the food chain.”
“Oh, Jeonggukkie,“ Hoseok sighed. “I’m so sorry, you have to go through that. Does Taehyung know?”
Jeongguk shook his head. “It started before he went to middle school but they only attack me when I’m alone. Which is most of the time now that Taehyung isn’t at our school anymore. Also, I don’t want him to know. If he knew he’d pick up a fight for sure and I don’t want them to bother him too. Because ...” Jeongguk hesitated for a second before looking at Hoseok. “Because he’s bisexual.”
“You want to protect him, I understand that.” Hoseok nodded. “But still ... you can’t listen to what these douchebags say. I know it sucks that they judge you for who your parents are but you can’t let it get into your head. They can’t change who they love and you can’t hate them for it, even though it’s you who suffers. Being gay is nothing bad. It’s not a disease. It’s love. All those other people are in the wrong. You can’t blame your parents.”
“I don’t,” Jeongguk replied, his eyes filling with tears. “I don’t hate them. I can’t. I love them so much. I know they can’t change and I don’t want them to because they’re happy this way. But ... it hurts so much Hoseok hyung.” A quiet sob left Jeongguk’s lips and he quickly checked if it was upsetting Ara, only to find her napping in his arms. “I’m so tired of them hurting me. Physically and emotionally. It’s just not fair. They’re not even judging me, they’re just assuming and spreading rumours and I-“ Jeongguk pressed lips together, trying to silence his sobs. He didn’t mean to cry. Crying makes it only worse.
“Jeonggukkie,” Hoseok sighed pitifully. The adult had a feeling that there was more to what was making Jeongguk upset. He watched the boy wipe away his tears, careful not to interrupt Ara’s sleep. “Jeonggukkie, have you ever thought about liking boys?” Hoseok made sure to make his voice as gentle as possible. However, Jeongguk still looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
“I-I,” he stuttered out, before looking down into his lap. “Yeah, I ... uhm ... I, uh, thought about kissing boys before.” One boy, singular, Jeongguk corrected himself internally. He hadn’t really thought about kissing any other boys. “But I can’t like boys.”
“Why not?”
“Because-“ Jeongguk’s lips started trembling again. “Because that proofs them right. Because then everyone will think my parents made me gay.”
“But it’s not the truth, right? Your parents never forced you to think about boys like that. I know your parents and all they ever did was to make sure that you know that it doesn’t matter who you love.”
“But it does,” Jeongguk protested loudly, making Ara wake up again - this time not so quietly. With a sigh, Hoseok took Ara in his arms and carried her in her room. After a few minutes, he came back to Jeongguk who was trying to secretly wipe away his tears once again. This time Hoseok sat down next to Jeongguk.
“Listen to me Jeongguk,” Hoseok said calmly. “It doesn’t matter if you fall in love with a boy or a girl. It just doesn’t. People are dicks no matter what and if you let them control you like that, you will never be happy. Don’t give them the satisfaction of ruining your life. You don’t have to be afraid to be gay.”
“I don’t know if I am,” Jeongguk whispered.
Hoseok smiled and put his arm around the boy. “That’s okay. You’ll figure it out. But don’t let someone else figure it out for you.”
Jeongguk nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“And for the love of god, please tell your parents.”
“What? No!” Jeongguk exclaimed, already panicking at the thought.
“Jeonggukkie, you have to tell them that you’re being bullied. This is serious.”
“Please, no. Please, don’t tell them. They can’t do anything. Most of the teachers don’t even like them. Everything will just get worse, please,” the boy begged, tears already streaming down his face again. “I don’t want them to get hurt, hyung, please promise me you won’t tell them.”
“But you’re hurting too!”
“Please,” Jeongguk hiccuped. “You have to promise.”
Hoseok let out a deep sigh before holding his pinky finger out for Jeongguk. “Okay, I promise but you have to talk to someone. Bottling it up clearly doesn’t help.” Jeongguk linked their pinky fingers together.
“I could talk to you, hyung.”
Hoseok felt like sighing again. He had meant for Jeongguk to talk to Namjoon or Taehyung or for god’s sake maybe even Seokjin. Someone who was a little bit more involved in his life. But Hoseok couldn’t say no to him, could he? No, he didn’t even want to.
“I can give you my number, so you can call me whenever, alright? Just call me if something happens and we’ll talk or I’ll pick you up.”
“Thank you, hyung. So much.”
A few hours later Jeongguk arrived back home after talking some more with Hoseok. Thankfully his parents didn’t wanna know where he was, which meant Taehyung hadn’t shown up, asking to see him. He didn’t tell his parents about the bullies. He didn’t tell Namjoon or Taehyung either. Namjoon wouldn’t be able to do much anyway - besides telling them that they’re wrong - and Taehyung ... Taehyung would probably throw a punch or two.
But he did talk to Hoseok more often. And it helped at least a bit.
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was fourteen; Taehyung was sixteen.
Jeongguk had been trying to figure out everything for a year now. And to be honest he felt like he did. It was summer break, after which he would finally join Taehyung in middle school, so the harassment would surely minimise itself (or so Jeongguk hoped). If it didn’t, the boy had promised himself to finally tell his best friend. But since Jeongguk wouldn’t walk around alone as much, the bullies probably wouldn’t find time to actually attack him, right? Right.
Nonetheless, Jeongguk had experimented a bit during the last year, which had also improved his reputation just a tad bit.
He had kissed girls.
Really, it was only to see if he liked kissing girls and Jeongguk hadn’t meant for other people to talk about it - but of course, everyone did. Since everyone had thought he was gay it seemed to be kind of a scandal. So a few people stopped pushing him around, claiming that maybe he wasn’t gay after all. One girl had even managed to apologise for her previous behaviour and had kissed Jeongguk’s cheek. The boy wasn’t really moved by the sudden realisation of some of the students though. They were all still douchebags even if they didn’t openly harass him anymore.
The irony behind it was that while some started to believe that Jeongguk was straight, the boy himself realised that he really wasn’t.
The first girl he had kissed was Yeonhee. She was kind of popular (as popular one can be at 13) and she had not wanted to kiss Jeongguk initially probably - no girl at his school had ever thought about kissing him. She always sat next to him during Maths and he had noticed her observing him silently until one day where she leaned towards him.
“You know what you need, little faggot?” Jeongguk had looked at her quietly, not daring to say a word. “You need a good kiss to turn you straight again.”
“Are you offering?” Honestly, Jeongguk hadn’t known where his confidence had come from. Maybe he had spent too much time with Taehyung. Yeonhee looked disgusted for a split second before expression turned more thoughtful.
“Would you kiss me then?” She asked mischievously as if she had just seduced a lost cause.
Jeongguk shrugged. “You’re pretty.” It wasn’t even a lie. Yeonhee was really pretty. She had long brown hair that she always wore in a high ponytail and a cute nose. But Jeongguk thought that Taehyung was pretty too. Maybe even prettier.
Yeonhee grinned. “Meet me at the bench in the school yard then.”
And that was the story of how Jeongguk had kissed Yeonhee after school one day.
He hated it.
Her glittery pink lipgloss felt really yucky and it stuck to Jeongguk’s lips. He had tried to wipe it off afterwards but the feeling just wouldn’t leave.
The second girl he kissed was Junghwa. She was completely different from Yeonhee since she wore glasses, had braces and an actual brain inside her head. This was also the reason why Jeongguk kissed her. He figured, maybe Yeonhee just wasn’t his type. Maybe he liked kissing smart girls.
Conclusion: he didn’t. Junghwa’s glasses kind of got in the way and it seemed like Jeongguk could actually feel her braces during the kiss. He didn’t like it. Junghwa was really friendly. But he just didn’t like the kiss at all.
From that point on he forgot about kissing girls and focused on kissing boys - or well, thinking about it. He had thought about kissing Taehyung before. When they were young, the older boy had showered him in kisses daily. But at some point, the kisses had stopped. Maybe when they were around ten? Jeongguk couldn’t remember. He didn’t notice it at first either. Only when he started thinking about kissing Taehyung on the mouth, he realised that he didn’t even receive pecks on his nose or cheeks anymore. Maybe Taehyung didn’t want to kiss him anymore?
Whatever it was, Jeongguk didn’t think about it much. But he also couldn’t stop imagining what it felt like to kiss Taehyung. The older obviously had experience so it had to be better than kissing Yeonhee and Junghwa, right?
It was only a few days before the end of summer break - Taehyung and Jeongguk were lounging on the elder’s bed watching some American action movie - when Jeongguk just couldn’t help it anymore.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk said, not moving his eyes from the kissing scene on the TV - it was disgusting but he didn’t dare to look at his best friend. “What does that feel like?”
“Kissing?” Taehyung asked amusedly.
“Kissing boys,” Jeongguk corrected him sheepishly.
Taehyung let out a quiet “oh” and scooted further up the bed so he could lean his back against the headboard. “Well, I’m not sure how to explain it.”
With all his courage, Jeongguk sat up straighter and turned towards Taehyung. “I’ve kissed girls,” he proclaimed. “And it was really really disgusting. I feel like I would like kissing boys.”
“H-How do you know?”
Jeongguk shrugged. “I’ve heard stuff. In movies, all the boys always talk about what they would like to do with girls but I don’t ... I don’t want to do that stuff with girls. I wanna do it with boys.”
“What stuff?” Taehyung seemed to be utterly oblivious today. Jeongguk almost found it endearing.
“You know, kissing and ... and ... oh, don’t make me say it, hyung.” Jeongguk could feel his cheeks heating up, he just hoped he didn’t look like a tomato.
“Please don’t tell me you’ve been thinking about sex,” Taehyung joked and was met with Jeongguk scrunching up his nose adorably.
“I’m 14, hyung,” the younger whined, not realising the hypocrisy. “I’m allowed to think about that. Also, I’ve watched porn once.”
Taehyung actually choked. “Oh god,” he coughed out, his eyes bulging out of his head. “What happened to my innocent Jeonggukkie?”
“Hyung, don’t make this more embarrassing.” Jeongguk buries his face in his hands while Taehyung took a minute to calm his heart and thoughts down.
“So,” the elder hesitantly began. “You want to know what kissing boys feels like?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “Can you show me?”
“C-Can I-“ Taehyung coughed again and furrowed his brows. “No, I don’t. It’s not ... Jeongguk, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You’re my best friend. Best friends don’t kiss each other. You’ve seen the movies. This never ends well.” Yes, Jeongguk had watched the movies but actually, they’ve always ended well. The friends realise they’re in love and live happily ever after.
Jeongguk sighed. A small part of him had hoped he wouldn’t need to confess. Slowly he wobbled on his knees towards Taehyung and gently sat down on Taehyung’s thighs. It was a position they had been in countless times while wrestling. And although the elder did look hesitant and confused, he didn’t seem to be uncomfortable.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk mumbled, forcing himself to look into Taehyung’s eyes. “When I say that I want to kiss boys. I mean you. When I say I want to do stuff with boys. I mean you. If I said that I had the biggest crush on a boy for over two years now. I’d mean you.”
“But-“ Taehyung protested softly.
“But what? But I’m your best friend? That’s not gonna change, I’ll always be your best friend. But I’m younger than you? So what. I’ve always been and it never stopped us before. I’m consenting. Everything is fine. And if you think this is me asking for sex, it’s not. Sex is freaking scary, I’m not ready for stuff like that. But I’m mature enough to consider the possibility of having it in the future. You can confront me with any argument you can think of, I’ll have a better one.”
Taehyung glances away from his best friend. “But you don’t deserve this.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widened in surprise. “What?”
The older boy gulped. “You deserve so much better than me. You don’t deserve this.” He motioned towards himself.
“Hyung, oh my god. What are you- ugh,” Jeongguk sighed. “Please imagine something for me. Imagine me, but I’m not your best friend. I’m your classmate or neighbour or something. And I’m also your age. Would you consider kissing me?”
“I-I,” Taehyung stuttered. “Maybe, I don’t know.”
Jeongguk chuckled. “Believe me, you would. Because I’m pretty amazing. So now let me tell you, the fact that I’m your best friend makes it so much better because we know each other well!” The younger boy let out a giggle, before widening his eyes. “Oh my god, wait. Please tell me that I’m not reading any of this wrong. And that you’re hesitating because you like me and you don’t want to ruin anything and not because you don’t actually like me back.”
Taehyung’s facial expression softened immediately and his hands went to cup Jeongguk’s face. “No, no, don’t panic, you’re right. I do like you. Somehow. I just ... I never thought about it much because I didn’t think you would ever feel the same.“ He sighed. “And I don’t want to seem as if I’m taking advantage of you because you’re so young.”
“I’m 14, not 8,” Jeongguk grumbled. “And you’re only 16 yourself. Don’t act like you’re 22.”
“You’re right,” Taehyung chuckled. “I’m sorry.”
“Can we kiss now?” Jeongguk asked nervously.
“Uhm, yeah,” Taehyung mumbled and pulled down Jeongguk’s face just a little bit before the younger one stopped him abruptly.
“Wait a second,” he exclaimed a bit overwhelmed. “You have to know this is my first kiss because I won’t count the ones with Yeonhee and Junghwa because they sucked. Not literally but you know. So you have to be better than them but no pressure.”
“Okay,” Taehyung laughed while Jeongguk reached out to fix the elder‘s and his hair.
Suddenly the younger gasped, his hands flying to his lips. “Do I need to put on chapstick? My lips feel really dry. Oh no, now it’s gonna be really weird and-“
Smiling Taehyung took Jeongguk’s hands in his and placed them on his chest between them. He intertwined their fingers and squeezed gently.
“Don’t worry, sometimes kisses between boys feel a bit rough, cause we don’t wear chapstick or lipgloss that often like girls. You wanted to know how it feels, right? This is it. It won’t get any realer.”
Jeongguk nodded before closing his eyes. “Okay, you can kiss me now.”
“Bossy,” Taehyung chuckled and leaned slightly forward. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“Yeah, hyung.”
Taehyung moved a bit closer. “Are you really-“ Before he could finish his sentence Jeongguk surged forward and pressed their lips together forcefully.
After not even a second he pulled away. “That doesn’t count,” he exclaimed quickly. “You were just being annoying, please kiss me properly now.”
Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at Jeongguk even though the younger still had his eyes closed. He didn’t feel like teasing anymore, so he slowly leaned forward and let their noses touch gently. Jeongguk wanted a proper kiss, so that’s what he was gonna get.
Taehyung released one of Jeongguk’s hands to place it at the back of his neck and pull him in, as he let his lips brush over the other’s. It was a really gentle touch, very unlike Taehyung’s very first kiss, but the elder couldn’t help himself. Jeongguk was just too precious. The younger let out a quiet sigh of content and pressed himself closer.
This was so much better than kissing girls. Not only were there no lipgloss, glasses or braces involved, but Jeongguk was so excited that his stomach cramped. It wasn’t bad though. It felt like being hungry and smelling your favourite food. It was a good kind of stomach cramps.
✩
Jeongguk and Taehyung didn’t immediately tell their families about ... the new development. They weren’t even sure what they were so how could they even tell anyone. They just savoured their time together, it was like the calm before the storm.
In school, obviously, everything stayed the same. They couldn’t just walk around holding hands.
But after school, when they were holed up in either Jeongguk‘s or Taehyung‘s room. Only then they could truly be together.
They spent a lot of time cuddled together on the bed, just holding each other. Jeongguk loved tucking his face into Taehyung’s neck, breathing in his calming scent. The elder would always bury his nose in Jeongguk‘s hair, whispering stories about what his teachers had talked about today or about something funny Byul had said.
If there was homework to be done, they’d both lie down on their stomachs on the floor, scribbling notes while their shoulders brushed. Sometimes Taehyung would peek over to Jeongguk‘s worksheets, trying to remember the answers to the tasks that he once had to do as well. If he remembered, he would reach over and note it down in his messy handwriting that looked nothing like the younger‘s neat one; if he didn’t, he’d mumble something along the lines of “you’ll never need that again” - both lead to Jeongguk cracking a small smile.
It was Taehyung who noticed about one month after their first kiss, that he hadn’t even taken Jeongguk out on a proper date yet. So that’s what he did. Of course, they couldn’t go walking around while holding hands. Not only because people from school could see, but also because they were afraid their parents would see them. They didn’t want to tell them just yet. They didn’t want to burst their own bubble just yet.
Taehyung took Jeongguk out to see a movie. It might not have been something they never did before but it was special after all. The elder had gotten them couple seats right in the last row so they could watch the movie without worrying about being seen. They spent the whole duration of the movie cuddled together, giggling into each other’s ears and feeding each other. It was probably the most romantic thing they had done before - even though there was a horror movie playing in the background.
After their very romantic movie, they strolled around the nearby park. It was already late at night, so they didn’t need to be worried about being seen. Jeongguk’s parents thought he was staying overnight at Taehyung’s and vice versa. They’d sneak into Jeongguk’s house later and just tell everyone that they changed plans the next morning. Jeongguk couldn’t help but smile brightly while they walked through the park. He loved the feeling of Taehyung’s hand in his.
“You’re my boyfriend, right?” The younger asked after a while, watching the older boy curiously. Taehyung laughed quietly and brought their intertwined hands to his lips so he could kiss Jeongguk’s fingers.
“I’m everything you want me to be,” he replied charmingly, making the other blush.
“You just know how to make boys swoon, don’t you?” Jeongguk mumbled, shaking his head and looking down at his feet. Taehyung halted in his steps and pulled at Jeongguk’s hips, so the younger softly crashed into him.
“Only you,” he whispered gently. “I don’t think I know anyone like I know you. And I don’t want that to ever change.”
“Do you think we stand a chance?”
Taehyung raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“Do you think we could grow old together? Do you think we can make it till then?” The younger asked again, before avoiding Taehyung’s eyes. “I know you aren’t supposed to think about stuff like that this early but I- I just-“ He interrupted himself and refused to end his sentence.
Taehyung hummed. “Well, there’s no harm in trying, right?” He leaned down to kiss Jeongguk’s forehead. “Let’s try together.”
✩
After their first date, the two boys got a bit more reckless. They didn’t show any affections in public, but they did dare to kiss outside of their own rooms when they knew that their families weren’t around. It was a rush, kind of like sneaking around or secretly having a sip of alcohol even though they were not allowed to.
A few weeks passed like that until one day the couple was messing around in the kitchen in Jeongguk‘s house. They had decided to cook something for the younger boy‘s family since everyone had been working hard lately (his parents with their dance school and his brother with his preparations for graduation) and the boys felt like spoiling them. Jeongguk knew that his appa always appreciated it if he didn’t need to cook after a long day of work and cooking bulgogi wasn’t really the hardest thing to do so the teenager would be able to manage.
While they were waiting for the rice to cook, the radio was playing in the background - Jeongguk‘s favourite band because he had won at rock, paper, scissors but come on, at this point Taehyung loved the band just as much. The younger boy was sitting on the kitchen counter, his legs wrapped around his boyfriend, one hand in Taehyung‘s hair, the other holding a glass of water.
“Just let me drink, hyung,” Jeongguk whined amusedly when Taehyung wouldn’t stop showering his face in kisses. “I’m thirsty.”
“Thirsty for my kisses?”
Jeongguk hit the other gently. “No, for actual water.”
“Hm, too bad then,” Taehyung mumbled and leaned down to capture Jeongguk’s lips in a kiss. Sighing, the younger let himself melt into the elder’s touch and wrapped his arms around him as well as it was possible with the glass still in his hand. He was so lost in the feeling of Taehyung’s lips on his that he didn’t notice his appa coming home until he was standing in the middle of the kitchen, letting out a surprised gasp. Jeongguk’s eyes shot open and the glass immediately slipped out of his hand. With a loud shatter, it fell to the ground, alerting Taehyung as well. The older boy’s gaze shot to Jeongguk’s father before trying to scramble away, slipping on the broken pieces of glass and falling to the ground too.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, raising his hand to rub the back of his head, before noticing the blood on the palm of his hand and forearm. “Oh God.”
“Hyung!” Jeongguk exclaimed jumping off the counter and quickly knelt down next to the older boy, trying to avoid the shattered glass. “Are you okay?”
Taehyung nodded quietly, glancing up at Jimin. The adult shook his head laughing.
“Jeongguk, bring Taehyung to the living room, I’ll get the first aid kit,” he said and left the kitchen. Jeongguk’s lips started to wobble, as he helped his boyfriend up and walked him to the living room. He gently pushed him onto the sofa and sat down next to him.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice shaking. A dry sob left his lips as he cradled Taehyung’s injured hand in his. “I’m so so sorry.”
“Hey, Jeonggukkie, no, it’s okay,” Taehyung immediately said, reaching out to cup his face but pulling his hand back, when Jimin entered the living room.
“Let’s take a look,” the adult mumbled and observed Taehyung’s injured hand and arm. “It doesn’t look that bad, the pieces were pretty big, so we don’t need to clean the wounds that extremely. You know how Namjoonie breaks everything, so don’t worry I’ve done this a million times.”
“I know,” Taehyung whispered quietly and watched Jeongguk’s father cleaning and wrapping up his wounds while Jeongguk buried his face in the elder’s shoulder and continued to sob. “Baby, please don’t cry. You know, it makes me cry as well.”
“I’m so sorry,” the younger repeated and shook his head.
“What for?”
“Everything.” Jimin seemed to be overly interested in taking care of Taehyung’s wounds but the older boy was sure that he was straining his ears to hear their whispered words. “I dragged you into this and now appa knows and you’re hurt and-“
“Hey, hey, hey,” Taehyung interrupted his boyfriend gently. “Everything is okay. Calm down. We didn’t plan it like this, but your appa is really the last person who would have anything against this.”
“I was totally not eavesdropping, but Taehyung has a point,” Jimin spoke up and smiled at his son. “Can I ask a few questions?”
Jeongguk nodded silently but kept his head leaning on Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Are you two ... together? As in boyfriends?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathes, a bit surprised at the beaming smile that grew on his father’s face.
“For how long?”
“A few months, I suppose?” Taehyung answered for the younger one. “Two, maybe three. We didn’t tell anyone because ... I don’t know about Jeongguk, but I felt as we’d need to tell the whole world if we told you. I know it’s not like that but ... we don’t want anyone in school to know.”
“You wanted to stay in your own little bubble,” Jimin said smiling. “I understand that. Yoongi and I felt the same exact way. We just wanted to stay in our little family and not deal with everyone else judging.”
“You’re not mad?” Jeongguk asked nervously.
“Mad? Why should I be? Jeonggukkie, I’m not blind, I’ve noticed that you’ve been happier in the last weeks. I'm just glad, I finally know why. Besides, I always knew, you two would make a great couple." Jeongguk and Taehyung immediately started blushing and avoided Jimin's glances at all costs.
Jeongguk's father chuckled. "How about I invite your family over for dinner, Taehyung-ah? So you both can tell everyone together? Because I won't tell anyone but I will also not keep quiet. You don't have to tell the whole world, but I do think your family deserves to know. We were all rooting for you anyway."
"You were?" Jeongguk furrowed his brows in confusion, while his appa shot him a 'duh' look. Taehyung couldn't help but giggle quietly and hide his face in Jeongguk's hair.
"Of course, Jeonggukkie. Especially after Yujin told us that Taehyung had confessed to her about his crush on you. And that was years ago."
Taehyung groaned in annoyance. "This family needs to stop gossiping all the time." Jeongguk giggled as well. "Just invite them over, so we can get this done with."
Just as Jimin had suspected, everyone was thrilled to find out that their favourite boys finally got their shit together and were now a couple. Jeongguk and Taehyung couldn't help but feel at ease. They knew that telling someone else about their relationship wouldn't necessarily go as well. But it felt good being accepted by their families. And even though Namjoon wouldn't stop teasing them whenever he caught them looking at each other with heart eyes ... Jeongguk couldn't help but wish that life would never change.
But of course, it did.
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was 17; Taehyung was 19.
Jeongguk knew that something was up with Taehyung. He knew because they knew each other since they were little and because Tae was his boyfriend after all. In the last three years, their relationship hadn't changed much. Somehow they were still in their honeymoon phase while also having matured. Jeongguk knew that they were still pretty young so he couldn't call himself mature, really, but he didn't feel like the little boy he used to be. He always thought that Taehyung brought out the best of him and vice versa. No one believed that they could've grown closer. But they did.
So of course, Jeongguk noticed when Taehyung started acting off. And to be honest, he already knew what it was about. It wasn't rocket science. Taehyung never talked about college. Not anymore at least. When graduation was still very much far away, Taehyung had never stopped talking about how he would love to study photography and how he had already saved up as much money as he could. But now that it was finally the time to choose a college and apply for them ... Taehyung never mentioned it anymore.
Jeongguk knew why. It was quite obvious. Going to college meant leaving Jeongguk. Taehyung loved to drop by Jeongguk's house daily so they could do homework and cuddle or whatever was on their mind. If he was at college that wouldn't be possible. Much less if the college wasn't in Seoul. Jeongguk remembered Taehyung talking about some apparently really cool photography program at a college in Busan, maybe he was contemplating moving there? Jeongguk wouldn't mind that much if he was honest. Okay, he would miss Taehyung a whole lot. More than he could probably imagine. But it was Tae's life and he shouldn't weigh his boyfriend down. Plus, Busan was really not that far away from Seoul. They could meet up at weekends and who knows? Maybe when Jeongguk finished school he'd apply for the same college as well.
It was a Saturday evening when Taehyung finally admitted that something had been bugging him. They were lying on the back of Taehyung's truck - or Yujin's more like - wrapped in blankets while looking at the stars. It was quite cheesy but Taehyung enjoyed looking at the stars and Jeongguk enjoyed looking at Taehyung.
Just as Jeongguk had guessed Taehyung had been thinking about colleges and applying to a lot of them while still not being sure if he even wanted to leave.
"I got an acceptance letter yesterday. From my number one college," Taehyung mumbled after Jeongguk had assured him numerous times that he didn't need to worry about his boyfriend when it came to colleges.
"That's amazing, hyung," Jeongguk smiled and leaned up to peck his boyfriend on his mouth.
"It's in New York, though." Jeongguk completely froze. He had heard that wrong, right? Taehyung wasn't talking about moving to the other side of the world, right?
"Are you actually serious? New York?" Jeongguk sat up abruptly and stared at Taehyung with wide eyes.
"Didn't you just that we could make it work?"
"Well, I didn't know you were talking about moving to the other side of the fucking world."
"Don't curse at me, Jeongguk."
Jeongguk huffed. "I will do whatever I please. You go move to New York or whatever." The younger boy started climbing off the truck.
"Where are you going, Gukkie?"
"I'm gonna walk home," Jeongguk said stubbornly. Taehynug let out a deep sigh and climbed off the truck as well. Quickly he grabbed his boyfriend's hand.
"You are not. Let me at least drive you back home. You know, your father is gonna kill me if I don't." Jeongguk clenched his jaw before nodding silently and going to sit on the passenger seat. The drive home wasn't long - maybe 15 minutes at most - but still, the couple managed to fight all the way through.
When they arrived in front of Jeongguk's house, the younger immediately jumped out of the car and stormed to the front door.
"Wait, Gukkie, wait!" Taehyung shouted while getting his keys and scrambling out of his car as well. But when he arrived at the porch, Jeongguk had already closed the door behind himself. Taehyung let himself let out a quiet sob. He wanted to kick at the door and scream until Jeongguk would come out but it was too late at night for him to cause any ruckus.
So he sat himself down on the stairs in front of the door and leaned against the cold wood. Jeongguk had to come out at some point. And Taehyung would be there to wait for him.
Meanwhile, Jeongguk had snuck into his brother's room, tears streaming down his face. His hyung was still up, reading a book, but the second he noticed his brother, he immediately put the book away and opened his arms. Sobbing, Jeongguk let himself be embraced. Jeongguk didn't tell him what happened. Namjoon didn't ask.
It was Yoongi who found Taehyung sleeping on their front step the next morning. He quickly rushed him into the kitchen where Jimin was making breakfast before having to leave for work. Jimin was still fussing over Taehyung when Jeongguk entered the kitchen.
"How stupidly in love can you be, Taehyung-ah?" Jimin complained and put a cup of hot tea in front of the boy. "You can't just sleep outside in the cold. it's getting really cold at night."
"You slept outside?" Jeongguk asked shocked, making the other two notice his presence. Forgetting their argument the younger stepped forward and cupped Taehyng's still cold face in his hands. "What is wrong with you?"
Taehyung let out a dry sob. "I love you, Gukkie. I don't wanna fight with you. If you want me to, I'll stay here."
"No," Jeongguk gushed immediately. "You have to go if it's what makes you happy."
"And you're fine with it?" Jeongguk gulped thinking about what he had decided last night. He was probably the biggest ass in this century.
"I will be." But he loved Taehyung too much.
The last weeks until Taehyung had to move to New York were spent as if nothing had happened. Whenever Taehyung talked about his future life and Jeongguk's part in it, the younger boy would just nod and play along. He could feel his heart breaking every time but he couldn't help it.
One day before his departure, Jeongguk broke up with Taehyung. The whole conversation was just a mess of screaming and crying but in his heart, Jeongguk knew that this was the best solution. He didn't want to hold Taehyung back. He just wanted Taehyung to be happy in the long run and not keep worrying about his boyfriend back in Korea. Maybe he would even find someone else to love. No, scratch that, he would definitely find someone else to love and forget about Jeongguk. Jeongguk needed him to.
When Taehyung left both boys were a mess. Their families didn't quite get what was happening, all they knew was that somehow the couple weren't a couple anymore and that neither of them would stop crying.
—ⴰ༢⠑ೄ ︣✧ ཿⴰ༢—
Jeongguk was (still) 17; Taehyung was (still) 19 (and in America).
You see, Jeongguk had always loved to dance and sing. When he was little he used to learn to sing his favourite songs and come up with a choreography to it, which he then later performed in front of his family and Taehyung. He had always danced in the classes of his appa and later on got singing lessons as well and people never stopped telling him how hard he worked and how talented he was. His paps always used to joke about him becoming an idol when he was older and even though it was meant as a joke ... Jeongguk never really hated that idea too much.
He never went to auditions though. He always just dreamed about it. That's why he didn't exactly know what triggered him to look up audition dates. Maybe it was the fact that Taehyung was gone now. He hadn't heard a single peep from his ex-boyfriend and he was kind of glad he didn't. He wasn't sure if he was strong enough to not cave in. Similar to Taehyung when it came to colleges, Jeongguk had always been afraid of leaving the older boy behind if he was indeed becoming a trainee.
But now there was no one to leave behind, was there?
So he looked up auditions and found one of multiple small companies together. Jeongguk was kind of scared of auditioning for bigger companies. They had to have higher standards and what if Jeongguk didn't meet them? What if he wasn't accepted what would he do then? He was quite confident that he would get into a small company. He knew he was good. He probably just wasn't perfect enough for bigger companies. Plus he was pretty old for a trainee - or so he thought. The idols he listened to mostly started off as trainees when they were a few years younger than him.
After choosing to just go to the auditions, he trained harder than he ever did and stayed up longer than he probably should. he also talked about it with his family who was surprisingly supportive of the idea. Even his paps who was often wary and wanted to be sure that Jeongguk made the right decisions. Jeongguk figured that his family was probably just glad that he wasn't sulking anymore. Maybe they also didn't really believe that he would become a trainee. But Jeongguk didn't like thinking about that option and simply ignored him.
The audition went ... well. At one point his voice cracked but he tried ot to panic and during the dance part he almost forgot the choreography he prepared but in the end ... it went well. Just before they allowed him to leave, he was asked if he had anything left to say.
"I'm gay," Jeongguk blurted. He had planned on bringing it up during the audition but he had actually wanted to word it a bit ... better. "I-I'm gay and I hope that's no problem because I don't want to hide it when I become an idol eventually. I know there are a few openly gay idols and I know they struggle, but I would rather struggle doing what I love while being who I am instead of lying."
The four people sitting in front of him (apparently one representative of each company he was auditioning for) nodded all politely, instead of the man on the far right who grinned widely at him and gave him a thumbs up. Jeongguk let out a sigh of relief before leaving the room. He was just about to call his parents to let him know how he did when someone tapped on his shoulder. He turned around just to find the man, who had grinned at him, standing right before Jeongguk.
"Hello, Jeongguk, wasn't it?" The boy nodded too surprised to say a word. "My name is Ahn Hajoon, I come from Big Hit Entertainment. I know I am technically not allowed to speak privately with any contestant before the audition is finished but I just couldn't help myself." The man let out a low chuckle. "You see, for one I thought it was very brave of you to just announce your sexual orientation like that even though you know that it could cost you your whole audition. I'm even pretty sure that the others weren't that ... well, let's say happy. You don't have to worry though, because you are exactly what my company is looking for."
"S-So I'm accepted in your trainee program?" Jeongguk asked excitedly.
"Well, I'm not allowed to say it out loud officially, so ... no." The man winked at Jeongguk. "I don't know how much you know about politics but you might know that our current president is trying to push a law about same-sex relationships being socially accepted. We at Big Hit believe that the people need to associate a face with that law, the face of an idol. You already mentioned a few openly gay idols but most of them came out when they were already famous not before. I think with your talent and your braveness, we could move a lot of people. What do you think?"
Jeongguk stared at the man for a few moments, trying to figure out if he was being serious. "Well, I'm probably not allowed to say it out loud officially yet either, right?" he joked. The man nodded and gave him a pat on the shoulder before he went back to the auditioning room.
Two weeks later Jeongguk got an e-mail, congratulating him on his acceptance in Big Hit's trainee program. And again he couldn't stop crying for days. But this time it was happy tears.