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"Roy?" His voice is weak, catching in his throat.
"Hm?" Roy's is nothing more than a faint croak.
"Please tell me I'm dreaming."
"You gotta pinch me first, dude, because I'm not sure myself."
"I'm dreaming and this is a nightmare. It's gotta be."
Jason is clutching Roy's arm, staring up at the huge, coal-black eyes of the monstrosity looming over them. Roy's hand is closed over his reassuringly, but his face mirrors the dismay Jason feels.
They have fought ugly creatures from the depths of hell before, but he's never seen anything this soul-chilling before. Even death held fewer horrors.
Dick was right to call them. Of course he couldn't face this on his own. Roy's fingers clench over his.
"Don't worry, I got you," he says, unable to wrest his gaze away from this unspeakable thing. His breath is misting in front of him, as if his soul were ready to depart his body. Jason feels the same. "We're in this together."
Jason nods, although it's more a tense jerk of the head. "Till the end."
They turn towards each other then, each seeking out the comfort of the other's lips in their final moments before facing... whatever the fucking hell this is.
"I didn't think the sight of it would turn you on this much," a voice calls.
At the foot of this ugly yellow mountain rising from the backyard of Wayne Manor, Dick is grinning like a demon spawned from the depths of hell. And Jason is not thinking figuratively. Dick looks as if he were almost literally being birthed from the belly of this beast.
"Oh, that's just gross," he says and grimaces in distaste. He won't ever get this picture out of his head, no matter how much brain bleach he applies.
Roy covers his eyes and pulls his head down against his shoulder, so he wouldn't have to witness this anymore. He's grateful for this, although he also feels like he's being treated like a child who can't handle the terror of seeing his own boyfriend bouncing on—yeah, okay, maybe he can't handle it, but he's still perversely curious.
"Who are you and what have you done with our boyfriend?" Roy asks what must surely be an apparition with the face of Dick. Surely Dick couldn't— surely he wouldn't—
"What's up with you, guys?" Dick asks, cranking up the cheer to hide that he may have been a little affronted by their lack of enthusiasm. "You act like you've never seen a bounce house before."
"None so atrocious," Roy says. Usually, he'd be the first to go along with Dick's crackpot ideas – if not the one who came up with it originally – as though they're locked in a constant competition to outdo the other, trying to see who could make Jason tear up first.
Usually, Jason doesn't mind so much as long as either of them stays out of trouble. Even when it ends up with him in tears, because he can't handle these guys.
Usually, it's not this bad.
"Aww, now you're being mean to Pikachu," Dick says with a mock-pout and pats the walls of the yellow atrocity with a gloved hand. "The kids are gonna love it."
"There's only one kid here," Jason points out, "and he's going to slice both you and it into ribbon when he sees this."
"Cass might enjoy it. She's not poisoned by cultural bias as you two are."
"Why?" Jason asks finally. His voice is very close to breaking. Roy squeezes his shoulder. "Of all the bounce houses in the world..."
Dick shrugs and bounces on the yellow bowels of the thing. "Call it childhood nostalgia."
"You never even played Pokémon, short-pants," Roy says and crosses his arms.
"But I remember your quest to, ah, 'catch 'em all'." Dick grins wider, not missing the chance to needle Roy about the obsession he had as a kid. Sometimes, Jason still feels jealous about the jokes they share from a time he wasn't part of their lives. He ignores the sting.
"I still think this," Roy gestures at the creature in their line of sight, "is a bad idea. You're practically crawling into the guy's vagina."
"I don't know where you were during Anatomy 101, but if anything, this is where its guts would be. If it even has any. Which we don't know."
"Still looks looks like a vagina, though. Besides, I've seen enough pictures on the internet to know that the general consensus is Pikachu has internal organs." Dick and Jason both stare at him. "What? Never heard of gore?"
"Be that as it may," Dick claps his hands and steers the subject away from its bloody shores back to what's in front of them. "Who's gonna join me?"
"Not me," Jason grumbles.
"Nor me," Roy adds, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm out."
"Cowards," Dick says and crawls back into the yellow, bouncy hell.
Even this backdrop does not seem to be able to diminish the magnificence that is Dick's backside. Jason whines and drops his forehead on Roy's shoulder again.
"You know what the worst of it is?" he asks.
"Hm?"
"I still love him."
Jason can't keep the pain out of his expression when he looks up at Roy. He's so frustrated with his stupid, weak heart and its ridiculous feelings for this ridiculous human being called Dick Grayson.
Roy's face softens. He understands, and Jason's heart does a flip for him too.
"Right there with you, buddy."
To think they'd both eagerly stolen out of the manor to avoid the Thanksgiving preparations for this. Now, Jason would like nothing more than to be put under the iron ladle of Alfred's kitchen rule.
Still, he can't help but walk closer as the giant Pikachu in front of them starts to shudder. Interlacing his fingers with Roy's, he peers inside.
Like the overgrown child that he is, Dick is vaulting as high as the cramped space allows. Cramped for his adult-size body at least. Jason's sure you could fit an entire class of pre-schoolers inside.
But he's starting to see the appeal this thing has for Dick, who can get antsy real quick unless his feet lift off the ground and he's flying.
"I can't believe you got Bruce to sign off on this," Jason remarks, watching his boyfriend graze the walls of the bounce house with each leap. He's glowing with joy and Jason has to tamp down an emotional response to it. Hard.
"What makes you think he did?" Dick laughs and does another flip.
And isn't that hilarious, a giant yellow attraction for a five-year-old's birthday party gracing the hallowed grounds of the Wayne Estate. The press would be having a field trip with that. Maybe he should be alerting someone.
"Come on, guys. I can see you looking all eager to get inside and join me. Don't be shy. There's enough space for all of us."
"Not with you bouncing around like Tigger on steroids," Roy says, but he climbs in anyway.
Jason is more hesitant as he tests the house's give. "I don't think this thing is gonna support my weight."
"Don't be such a spoilsport, Jaybird," Roy says and drags him inside. Jason lets himself be dragged, if only to escape the November chill. He falls on top of Roy and they're both being jostled as Dick continues jumping around them. "Hey there," Roy murmurs, feeling up Jason's body through his coat, "you come here often?"
Jason huffs, but he does so with a smile. "Idiot."
He scoots back to sit on his haunches and then tries to push himself up, which is like trying to stand when you're piss-drunk.
"This is actually not a bad idea," Dick says and bodyslams Jason before he's even regained his full balance.
They both crash to the bouncy floor.
"You know what would be fun?" Dick's voice suddenly takes on a sultry timbre and sends shudder upon shudder through Jason's spine. As if that weren't enough, Dick straddles Jason, pins his wrists down and grinds his hips against Jason's. Before starting to test out the bounce beneath them. "Oh, I love that."
"Don't even think of it," Jason says, shaking his head and glaring at Dick, but to his eternal shame, he feels himself reacting to Dick's intentions.
Nearby, Roy is sniggering, the asshole. Way to support Jason.
The universe, though, seems to be smiling down at Jason for a change. However crookedly.
"What manner of sex dungeon is this?" a squeaky, indignant voice interrupts Dick's horseplay.
Dick's eyes widen when recognition hits before he claps a hand over his mouth to stop himself from giggling out loud.
"Damian!" Steph says before clamping her own hands over Damian's face so he would neither see nor speak. "Have you guys no shame?"
Dick and Roy do have the grace to look embarrassed.
"Starting the party without me. I am so disappointed. I'd have expected more from you."
"Remove your dirty paws, Fatgirl," Damian complains and shoves Stephanie off.
"Now, now," Dick admonishes, to which Damian snaps his mouth shut, but doesn't do anything about the sour expression on this face. "Rule number one if you want to get in here: no name-calling. We're all friends here."
"Good thing I want no part of your sex dungeon then," Damian says haughtily and turns up his nose. He's about to leave when Steph grabs his arm and all but throws him inside.
"Nuh-uh," she says, "this is mandatory sibling fun."
"What's fun about this?" Damian grouses.
"You'll see."
Dick forgets about all the naughty things he wanted to do to Jason and rolls over to Damian instead.
"Come on, babywing. Fly with me."
Damian's jaw clenches as if he were biting down a curse in favor of pleasing his favorite sibling. Jason can't blame him. Dick is really cranking up his dazzling smile there. Rare is the person who could deny him to his face.
"Fine."
As if Dick hadn't been beaming before, his face lights up like a million chandeliers. He takes Damian's hand in his own and urges him to jump up and down.
Steph is trying hard not to burst out laughing, because any sound, any wrong movement, could destroy this scene they're about to witness. To suppress the urge, she digs out her cell phone to turn this moment into a historical record.
Like a deer learning to walk, Damian gently bounces on his feet, although his face would like you to believe he hates this. Dick ignores it and is so happy beside him, he could power an entire stadium with his effusive show of affection.
It's more than Jason can handle. He feels himself tense up, retreat into himself. He doesn't want to curl up in a ball where everyone can see, so he claps Roy's shoulder and forces a grin.
"This is our chance, Roy. Let's get outta here while no one's paying attention."
So get out they do. And make their way back into the manor.
"Everything all right with you?" Roy asks, one arm slung around Jason's.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure," Jason says and stuffs his hands deeper into his coat pockets. "It was getting too crowded in there."
"Can't handle Dick showing affection to anyone but you, can you?"
Jason rolls his eyes. "You two are always up to some lovey-dovey shit and you don't see me complaining."
"So then you're sad you didn't get to bone him now?" Roy continues needling him. "Don't worry, I understand. I was so ready to watch that."
Jason snorts and elbows Roy in the ribs. "I told you it was getting too crowded in there."
"Okay, I believe you," Roy says but his tone indicates that he doesn't. Or maybe he does, while at the same time giving Jason the impression that he doesn't. "What now, Jaybird?"
"I don't suppose you'd wanna help Alfred in the kitchen?"
"Think he'd let us?" Beneath his beanie, Roy lifts a dubious eyebrow at Jason.
"No," Jason admits. "He'd worry that we'd set everything on fire."
Roy throws his head back and laughs. "He'd be so right. Can't leave me alone with a stove for a second."
Jason joins in and nudges Roy with his shoulder. He's glad Roy agreed to accompany both him and Dick during this holiday. Jason probably wouldn't have come without him, even if it'd meant seeing Dick. Roy brings out the good in him in a way Dick can't, and he really needed his strength today.
"Still," he says and shrugs his shoulders uncomfortably. "I wanna check up on him and see if he needs help with, I don't know, lifting anything."
"I'm pretty sure the old man can handle himself without you getting in the way," Roy says and nudges him back. "But if it's that important to you, I'm not above sneaking into the kitchen to see if there's any dessert to steal."
