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How to baptise an alien child

Summary:

Also known as: how to do a traditional religious family ceremony, when you have both lost faith in your religion and are part of a family that is anything but traditional.

Notes:

This story originated and was written with permission from an awesome headcanon of Tumblr user "deluxetrashqueen", about Eddie attempting a sort of DIY baptism! It's a great HC I now accept as canon and also definitely wanted to give writing it a try.

Hope that attempt was successful and that you enjoy reading!

For reference:
Text that is bolded without quotation marks is the symbiote speaking
Text that is bolded with quotation marks is Venom together speaking

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Are you serious Brock?”

“I didn’t think we were asking that much.”

“You are aware that this is a baby extra-terrestrial?  Where do you think you’re going to find a Priest for that?” Liz sighed frustratedly, rubbing a hand against a temple as she nursed a headache brought on by a day that had been far too long.

“And even if you did manage to pull someone up from somewhere, this is a confidential baby extra-terrestrial. I can’t have you just take it wherever you please or bring whoever you please into my company. Or would you like to have the government find out about our arrangement?”

No! Tell Liz no! We won’t ever let them find out! We won’t let them hurt our baby.

We would both like to make it indisputably clear that we would never let that happen. Nobody is going to find out about or harm our child.” Eddie assured, with the underlying assurance lying thinly veiled as to exactly what would happen to anyone even if they even tried.

A sentiment his Other eagerly echoed.

But Liz still looked bemused about the whole thing.

And so, Brock tried again, trying his best to think of a way that would appeal to her specifically.

A compromise.

“If our home isn’t doable, we can have it done in here. In your building, on your terms. You would have complete control over it. We only ask the opportunity to do something with our own child. To be parents.” He pleaded.

Good ones!

“What do you say to that?”

Liz Allen said nothing to that at first.

Rather, she folded her arms and leaned back in her chair, as she gave them a surveying look over, doubtlessly remembering every bit of trouble the two had ever caused her.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

“What do I say?”

 


 

Although given a yes, the parents weren’t willing to push their luck and do a thing such as wait.

No, they immediately went back to their home, picked up what was needed, and then headed right back to Alchemax.

Which they were now making their way through with haste.

Still don’t get it Eddie.

“Get what, love?” Was asked, as they turned what was, by now, a very familiar corner in a very familiar corridor.

This ritual.

Confusion bubbled at his Other, as it paused, trying to think of a way to parse its question.

We put our baby in water and they’re protected by gods?

The scepticism felt there at that was very clear.

“Something like that.” Eddie mused, slowing down his steps slightly, as he himself had to think of as way to explain this properly.

 His last attempt having apparently failed it seemed, even if his Other was still willing to go along with this. Something they made very clear, pushing reassurances of that even now despite their scepticism about any benefits.

He didn’t want them to just be willing though.

They were together! Partners. Equals.

Wedded in ways that no normal human union could come close to replicating.

Or even understanding.

So, Eddie wanted them to come to a decision like this properly together.

“We’re not doing it in the usual way, in a lab by ourselves with a plastic tub meant for washing dogs.” A plastic tub which, speaking of, Eddie adjusted his grip of, shifting it into a better position.

“Usually there’s a lot more ceremony to it, people going to churches, getting all dressed up…making a big occasion of it.”

Dressed up?

His Other asked curiously.

Eddie glanced down at their current, decidedly not dressed up attire, and let off a laugh.

“Yeah, usually, but-” Before he had even finished, he was no longer looking at the same attire.

Top and jeans quickly shifting into a fancy suit.

And, by the time the adjustment finished, he thinks he might just be wearing a bow-tie.

Like this Eddie?

“Yes dear, like this.”  A disbelieving chuckle from the man as he gave them both a proper look.

His Other had certainly done good for such an impromptu job, he even had two little spider-shaped cufflinks.

Causing him to wonder how long they’d actually had an outfit like this on their mind, ready to whip out in a moment’s notice.

“Thank you love, you didn’t have to do that.”  

Did! This is important to you. Want to help do it right, even if I don’t understand.

Eddie felt the equivalent of a mental nudge of sorts then from his Other, and sent a nudge of affection back.

“Not much more to understand than what I’ve already said love, don’t worry. The specifics vary between churches, but you were mostly right. It’s a way to hopefully get our baby in good with any gods that might be out there.”

A curious pause from his Other there, setting of Brock’s own curiosity.

Nothing wrong.

Was clarified after a concerned prod.

Just thought you didn’t believe in that anymore. You do?

A sharp inhalation of air and a wince there from Brock.

Eddie?!

“It’s complicated, love.” He answered truthfully, adjusting his grip on the tub again as he thought back over many, many things that had happened over the course of his life.

“But this isn’t about me. This is about our child, and in case there is something out there, better do this just in case.” He exhaled harshly, brow unfurrowing.

“Besides, it’s also a family thing. A welcome aboard tradition. Me and my sister were both baptised. There’s even a photo of Mary’s.”

He’d seen it before.

Mary had kept it hidden in a box after their father had took down all the rest of the photos in their house.

Photos from before Eddie’s mother had died. Before he’d even been born.

And Carl had not been one for taking photos after that either, the only attention he ever gave either of his children then, being to either tell them to do something or express disappointment.

But Mary had hustled it away, her little secret that father never had to know about.

And then, after one particularly bad day in a long series of bad days, it had been their little secret – brother and sister united – that father never had to know about.

She…

Steps that had been getting slower and slower, finally came to a stop.

Despite the fact that the door they were aiming for, was now completely in-sight.

Mary.

Another person that he’d failed.

…And then she'd...

...And then she was gone.

His head lowered down, expression shifting.

…Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you feel sad.

Eddie shook his head.

“Wasn’t you darling, I just…need a slight reprieve here. A moment.”

The most recent visit to 'tell' her about the new addition had only made the pain of what had happened all the more raw, but…

…He forced himself to bury his sadness back down.

He didn’t want to go in like this to their child.

Mourning an Aunt, they would never get to meet.

He would not be like his father and let his own grief colour his interactions with them.

He would never be like that.

Never.

So, bottle it up for now Brock, and just keep trying to move on forwards.

Like always.

And so, one again, he started walking.

“I…I was just trying to say, that our baby’s a Brock. Family tradition for us and the kid’s family.”

His Other reacted excitedly to that, stirring and sending waves of affection.

A Brock.

Was happily echoed back, as warmly as a voiceless being could be able.

“Of course. Always.”

Another happy flutter back at him.

It was about then that they finally reached the door and entered it.

Entered, into a room with Dr Steven humming along to some music that was playing, while also focused in on looking over a microscope.

Entered, into a room with, by far most importantly of all, a tank containing their child.

 “Hey, Dr. Steven!” Was said happily as a beeline was directly made to the tank containing their baby, which seemed to be bobbing along to the music the doctor was playing.

“How’s everything been?”

“Hello Eddie. You’re looking…unusually fancy.” The humming stopped, as Dr Steven looked up from his work.

“If you mean me, fine, other than how I remain underfunded as usual. If you mean the infant, they’re fine too. You’re free to go ask them yourselves now if you want.”

Not that they needed permission, they were already right there at it, a hand pressed up against the tank.

“Hello darling.”  Was smiled fondly.

Their baby bubbled happily back, excited to see them again, before reaching up with their tendrils to try mimic a hand shape back to their parents.

Not quite getting it properly, the ‘hand’ being all lopsided and misshapen, but they were doing their best and both of those parents felt immensely proud all the same.

Good try! They’re learning!

“You’re getting there darling!”

Then they turned back to the good doctor, a concern at the forefront of both minds.

“And it was both we were going for Dr. Steven, but- not underfunded enough to not properly take care of our child, we hope?”  The tone at its surface was neutral, but whether Dr Steven was a friend or not, could very quickly become otherwise if they found out their child was not properly being cared for.

“No, no, that’s all fine. Your little goo wants for nothing. It’s everything but that which has all the problems.”

He gathered up a few items then, clearly getting ready to leave the room and turning off his music as he did.

“I’ll leave you all to it then, will I? I’ve been told you want some privacy with…this.”

 Not much privacy with all the security in here. We can see it. It’s everywhere.

“Yes.” Eddie agreed with both.

“Yes, we would appreciate that.” Was then elaborated further for Dr Steven.

“Let me know when you’re all done then.”

And with that pleasant, amicable goodbyes were then exchanged, Eddie’s Other even chiming along in his head.

And then, as soon as their friend was out the room, Eddie further elaborated on the half of the yes that had been directed to that Other.

“Yes, but it’s at least a semblance of it. And if somebody does have to watch this, at least we know it’s only going to be Liz and Dr. Steven and not some government bigwigs.”

Yes. They’re not bad. We like them. They’re friends.

“That they are.” He then removed their hand from the tank and started to move back, to which their baby reacted confusedly.

First by tapping against the surface the hand had just been in, before moving upwards to tap against the top of the tank, as if to say – why aren’t you opening it?!

“In a moment. We’ll be right back for you, wouldn’t leave you for the world. We just have to do something else first.” Eddie kindly reassured them, as he headed over to the decontamination sink, shifting the tub onto a counter beside it as he turned on the tap.

“Does the temperature matter? With their age, the hot water won’t hurt-”

No Eddie, don’t worry. They’ll be fine. It won’t be anywhere near hot enough to hurt them.

All the same, Eddie chose to go with the cold-water tap.

Just in case.

“See? That’s us coming back for you already.” Was cheerily asserted over his shoulder, right back to their baby who seemed to be – as much as he could tell anyway - intently watching them, the very moment the tub was filled.

Then, it was just the matter of getting back to the tank, or at least closer to it, without accidentally un-filling it.

A task they thankfully succeeded, with only a little splash as they ultimately set it down with a feeling of relief.

Then, to the relief of the precious one inside of it, they were finally able to open to seal to the tank.

“Hello.” Was softly cooed, as hands tipped to let their precious little darling have an easier time climbing up.

Something which is did happily, tiny tendrils wrapping around fingers which they used to hoist and plop themself into place in their father’s hands.

As they did, their other parent also formed around their father’s hands, allowing both parents to hold and also to nurture and feel them, in a way that no regular human parent, or even Eddie by himself could ever hope to.

They raised them up to what was, for now, still Eddie and not Venom’s face, although Eddie’s happy smile was shared by his Other just as much.

Even if it could not be physically seen, that much could certainly be felt.

“There you go. Have they been treating you well in here?”

The baby responded by patting him on the face in different patterns, like amusing themself with some sort of little game.

His Other answered for him in their stead.

We were not lied to. Our offspring is healthy. Happy! They’re happy to see us!

“Well, we’re also happy to see y- hey!”

It was then that their child’s game shifted from harmless face pats, to a tendril taking a good grip of some of their father’s hair – and yanking.

No! Stop that! It hurts your father.

His Other berated, as one of their own tendrils shot up to intercept a second attempt.

There wasn’t a third after the message sank in.

Which should be a good thing except…

Through his connection with his Other, Eddie also felt the beginnings of a child beginning to get quite distressed, as they seemed to ‘realise’ the pain they’d inflicted on their father while trying to play was critical.

“Don’t worry. You’re not in big trouble and it didn’t hurt much. Dad has taken a lot more punishment than that.” He chuckled at just how true that was.

His Other didn’t.

“We just don’t want you to keep doing it. It’s rude, meaning it’s not something you should do to good people.”

They felt the baby calm as they took that placation, only for their curiosity to peak again, but this time at another target.

Shifting, they went to lean over their parents’ hands to have a look at the tub bellow.

A little tendril went out, almost as if to point at it, and illustrate their curiosity further in case their parents just somehow didn’t quite get it yet.

Amusement echoed in both of them and their responses came almost simultaneously.

That’s to get you favour with the gods.

“We’re going to need to put you in there for just a moment, for- well your other parent just said.”

A more complicated explanation of the occasion than that wasn’t really needed for someone of their child’s incredibly young age.

But all the same, they also took what explanation they had given as a cue to start kneeling.

And their baby took this as their cue to poke at the water, tendril then recoiling as they were perplexed by the ripples that caused in it.

Do we do it now Eddie?

“Yes, my love, we do.”

He shuffled, thinking of what to say in such a – to put it mildly - non-traditional situation like this.

…There wasn’t exactly…precedent.

“So…” He started.

A press of reassurance from his love helped give him the confidence to continue, with much more of a certainty in his voice.

“To anyone out there who might be listening, could you at least give us points for trying with this and watch over our kid? Help keep them safe? That would be great of you.”

And with that, they dunked their baby in the water.

The reaction was immediate.

Despite their prior warning, their baby was still startled by the sudden dunk, toppling out of their parents’ hands and tendrils shooting out that in turn toppled over the tub, sending water spilling out all over.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. That’s it! It’s over. That’s all we had to do.” Eddie spoke gently, barely even flinching about being now drenched.

“Come on, come back to us.”  

No further prompting was needed for the infant, which quickly scarpered back onto their parents, once again, outreached hands.

Then, with a sigh, Eddie leaned back against the surface behind them with a soft thud, simply gazing down the two most precious things he’d been blessed to have in this entire universe.

His Other spoke up first, as a warmth and the Other themself spread and enveloped all around him, like a gentle lover’s caress.

Which, while to anyone else, this might look they had just turned into a monster – to them, especially in a moment such as this, that’s exactly what it was.

Not good to sit there wet Eddie. Could make you sick.

Venom shifted over slightly, so they were at least out of the massive puddle that had been pooled around their sitting, hunched figure.

And then, once they’d settled back in-

Do you think it worked?

Now, that, was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it?

“We covered all of our bases. We’ll just have to hope now that someone out there was listening and gives some credit for that.”

No more concrete answer could possibly be given.

Hope and hope alone was all they had in that this makeshift homebrewed baptism might have done something.

Reached something.

For the sake of a child who now seemed to have already forgotten about the whole thing, their mind having gone back to play.

Something both man and symbiote were happy to entertain them with, shifting them onto one hand, as the other started using fingers and tendrils to form various figures and shapes, in a little game they’d devised in the hopes of also teaching their child how to copy

They remained like that for a little while, feeling just…happy.

 Like the happy little family, that they had all so desperately wanted the chance to be

And then came the inevitable question.

The doctor said we were supposed to call him after but…do you think we could stay here? Just us, for a while.

They wouldn’t have long.

As they both new, there was security in here that would let it be known real quick that they’d done what they had been permitted to do.

They should just call back Dr Steven themselves now, get it all over with.

That’s what was expected of them.

What the rules for this little venture were.

But…

Venom looked on affectionately at the baby trying to copy the shapes shown to them, getting better each time, causing pride in them to only swell even further at this wonderful thing they had made and were raising together.

…They’d never been much for following the rules, had they?

“Of course. For as long as we possibly can.”

They would stay.

They knew this, with as much certainty as they knew the very day of the week.

They would stay and they would take each and every precious moment like this – as a family -  that they possibly could.

And then they would try for even more.

Notes:

I have to be honest - this bit: "Was happily echoed back, as warmly as a voiceless being could be able." was initially noted down as the symbiote being "<3"

That's the most accurate description of their emotions there, just couldn't fit an emoticon in the actual proper-text.

Also! This is where what became "While father looks away", was originally supposed to be a very brief flashback scene in...before it became not-so-brief and had to get cut .