Chapter Text
It's Saturday morning and you wake up with a migraine. Gee fantastic. But today you're on a mission, you're on a mission to take Aradia on a date tonight. You've decided on taking her to this Italian restaurant, she's mentioned going there once with her family so at least you know she likes the food there. Now what should you wear when you ask her to dinner? Let's see. Hmmmm, no not khaki pants, not shorts, jeans? Maybe. Chinos? No. You guess jeans are the best way to go? And your purple and black plaid long sleeve shirt with black converses. Now that you've decided what to wear you go on your computer to look through your Tumblr and Email. It also seems you have a Pesterchum notification, it couldn't be Aradia because ten and she's already at work and she usually keeps her phone off.
cuttlefishCuller [CC] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]
CC: )(--Ey --Eridan!
Oh it's Feferi, man it's been a while since you two talked. You wonder what she could want.
CA: oh hey fef
CC: Finally you'r--E up! It s--E--Ems lik--E I )(av--En't talk--Ed to you in for--Ev--Er!
CA: uh huh
CC: W--E s)(ould )(ang out!
CA: i actually havve plans
CC: O)(, w--Ell wat--Er you doing?
CA: im gonna go shopping for a neww outfit and pick up some flowwers and hopefully do somethin tonight
CC: O)(! W--E can go s)(opping toget)(er lik--E old tim--Es! And w)(y ar--E you g--Etting flow--Ers?
CA: wwell uh you see im gonna ask this girl out
CC: You'r--E asking a gill out! Yay! W)(--Er--E do you plan on taking )(--Er?
CA: this italian restaurant she likes
CC: I know --Exactly w)(at w--E s)(ould buy you t)(--En! Also, ar--E you asking out t)(at gill you'v--E b--E--En )(anging out with lat--Ely?
CA: so youvve noticed me wwith her huh
CC: Of cours--E I )(av--E! You two n--Ev--Er l--Eav--E --Each ot)(--Ers sid--E! W)(o is s)(--E --Eactly? I'v--E n--Ev--Er notic--Ed )(--Er b--Efor--E.
CA: sols ex
CC: O)(! S)(--E's so pr--Etty!
CA: yeah shes awwesome
CC: W--Ell I'm sur--E s)(--E'll say y--Es!
CA: i hope so
CC: You'r--E a gr--Eat guy and I'm sur--E s)(--E knows t)(at or s)(--E wouldn't b--E )(anging around you now would s)(--E.
CA: good point wwell im gonna get dressed then go to the flowwer shop and i havve no idea wwhat kind to get
CC: )(m, w--Ell you can n--Ev--Er go wrong wit)( ros--Es!
CA: thanks fef
CC: No probl--Em!
CA: alright wwell im off but ill meet you at the mall after
CC: Okay! By--E!
CA: bye
cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]
Alright, lets do this.
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With flowers in hand you walk into the library and to the front desk where you see two of your friends.
"Hey Ter hey Nep."
"Hello Eridan."
"Hi Eridan. Whats with the flowfurrs?"
"It's nothin, do you where Ar is?"
"Yeah she's near the back by the fantasy section helping some kid last time I checked. Are the flowfurrs furr her?"
"Maybe and thanks."
You know the library like the back of your hand so it's not difficult to find her. She has her back turn as she's putting away a stack of book, so you decide to surprise her by putting your hands over her eyes which does make her jump just slightly.
"Guess who?"
"Is it Eridan?"
"Ding ding ding you are correct and you win this bouquet of flowers."
"Aw thank you they're lovely."
"So are you."
You start to blush so you decide to hide it by putting the books away again.
"So you came just to give me flowers?"
"Well now that you mention it..."
"I knew it, whats the catch?"
"I was thinkin you and me could go on a date tonight."
"Yeah that sounds great."
"Are you kidding me Aa?"
You recognize that lisping voice any where. And suddenly Sollux appears out of nowhere.
"What the fuck are you doin here Sol."
"I was hanging out with my friend till you came along dipshit. And Aa I thought you said you weren't mad at me but now you're going out with this loser for revenge?"
"It's not revenge and I'm not mad. And a "friend" wouldn't care who I'm dating even if they hate them."
"Whatever I'm going to go hang with Ff."
As he leaves you see him flip you off and he drops the books he was carrying on to the floor and she proceeds to pick them up.
"Wow what a fuckin dick. I have half a mind to go kick his ass. Want me to Ar?"
"No it's okay, so where are we going?"
"Maggiano's Little Italy."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I remembered you said you haven't been there for a while so I thought it'd be nice."
"What time?"
"I was thinking around seven."
"You would do that to me wouldn't you, only giving me a little time to get ready."
"I made the reservations already so can't change the time now."
"How did you even do that so quick? Unless you planned this a month ago."
"My father."
"Well I look forward to tonight."
"Same here."
You let her get back to work and pull out your phone to tell Feferi the great news.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]
CA: she said yes
CC: Yay! I'm )(appy for you --Eridan! 38D
CA: thanks fef
CC: I'm )(--Er--E at t)(--E mall by t)(--E way!
CA: ok cool im on my wway
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]
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"No no no this doesn't suite you either, let's go look for more suits."
"Fef this is what? The tenth suit you made me wear and you haven't liked any of them. I still like the first one I picked, I look hella classy in that one."
"Since when do you say hella!"
She's practically doubled over laughing.
"I was just tryin somefin new okay sheesh."
"Sorry sorry it just sounded funny when you said it."
"Whatever, how about this suit?"
"Hmm no no how aboooooooout this one?"
"No Fef that ones no good."
"Whale what about this one?"
"No, it's like we're on completely different pages here."
"Glub glub this one?"
You sigh, because at this pace you're never gonna find a suit.
"No, this one?"
"No."
This was obviously gonna take a while.
--------------------
After about two hours of looking at clothes you buy a long sleeve black dress shirt, a black vest, a white tie, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. You didn't really want to go dressed in all black but you do look good in the outfit, especially with the white tie. You walk throught your front door and hope you don't run into your brother. But of course he sees you with your new suit.
"Hey chief what's with the new get-up?"
"None of your business Cro."
"Does it have anything to do with the reservations at that restaurant?"
"You're not gonna leave me alone until I tell you right?"
"Pretty much."
"Alright I have a date okay? Now leave me alone."
"A date huh? Who with?"
"Doesn't concern you so you don't need to know."
"It's with Damara's little sis isn't it?"
"Maybe."
"Hey good for you chief, finally getting back in the dating game."
"Well I gotta get ready so would you kindly piss off."
You start making your way upstairs and of course he's following.
"Oh come on chief tell me the details, like where you're takin her."
"I'm takin her to Italian restaurant she likes."
"Oh come on you're not even gonna tell the name?"
"Nope. Be lucky I even told you what kind it was."
You attempt to shut your door but he really isn't going to stop bothering you it seems.
"Why? It's not like I'm gonna go to stock you on your date."
"I don't care I'm not tellin."
"Are you gonna wear a hat with that suit?" "Nah I can't really see myself in a hat. A suit and hat would look better on you anyways."
"You think so?"
"Yeah now leave."
"Okay I'll leave just because you said that."
"Thank you."
You quickly lock the door behind him in case he tries to change his mind.
--------------------
Finally time passed and you're knocking on her door. And you're surprised when Damara or Aradia don't answer the door, but who you assume is her mother. You see a few features that they share like their hair but there are also obvious differences like their eyes.
"Hello you must be my little girls date."
"Yes I am and you must be miss Megido. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"My, such a gentleman just like your father."
She knew your dad?
"How do you know my father?"
"We met back in high school then bumped into each other over the years."
Out of the corner of your eye you can see Aradia walking down the stairs and holy wow she looks beautiful.
"Wow, Ar you look gorgeous. Er, not that you didn't look gorgeous before but oh god I'm messing this up so bad already."
"Relax I know what you meant you're fine."
"Phew good."
"Nice suit by the way, I have the same one. Good thing I decided not to wear it or this would be awkward."
You both can't help but laugh which helped you relax a bit.
"Dia home nine thirty."
"Damara this is a date ease up on the poor kids, and I believe the curfew is my decision so have fun and come home as late as you want."
Well that's interesting, the mom is less protective than the sister.
"Thanks miss Megido. Are you ready to go Ar?"
"Yes I'm ready."
"Then off we go."
--------------------
"Mm Ar thanks for suggesting the grilled salmon lemon and herb it's delicious."
"I'm glad you're enjoying it."
"Did you hear about the project we're gonna have in English?"
"Yeah, and I heard that we're going to have another project in history."
"Ugh Diamonds never let's up on the work does he?"
"Oh come on I think he's fair about how much we do."
"Easy for you to say, you're one of his favorite students, always turning in your homework while getting straight A's."
"You've been doing good too Eridan."
"Only because you've been grilling me about turning in my work and helping me."
"Psh."
"Without you I'd be failing and grounded big time."
"Well I'm glad you're not."
"So do you wanna work together?"
"Of course I do."
You flash a smile and you get a smile right back.
"So uh, your mom seems nice. But was there some tension going on between Dam and her or was I just imagining it?"
"Yeah they don't really get along."
"Well that sucks."
"Hey that's life."
"True."
"I'll be right back I'm gonna run to the lady's room real quick."
"I'll be here."
She slides out of out the booth and heads towards the bathroom. You pull out your phone and check your Tumblr. It isn't too long before she returns but she accidentally bumps into someone.
"I'm so sorry s- dad?"
DAD? Diamonds is her dad! Oh god you're so screwed, you've been insulting her father so much.
"Er, hey there kiddo."
"Uncle Spades, uncle Deuce, uncle Hearts?"
Oh god those are her uncles too.
"Hey kid."
"Hello Aradia!"
"Hi girly."
"Dad were you spying on me? On my date?"
"Uh."
"Ar, Diamonds is your dad?"
"He's my god father but I call him dad."
What a relief.
"So are they your god uncles then?"
"Bingo. Dad how did you know I was here?"
"Damara called, said you were going on a date with this punk. So I was just making sure he was treatin you right."
"Well obviously as you can see I've been treatin her like a proper gentleman."
"So far."
"Dad can you please go?"
"Alright we're goin come on guys."
They start leaving and Diamonds decides to have a private word with you.
"Hurt her and you'll have more than just the mafia to deal with."
Then he finally leaves. What does he mean you'll have more than mafia to deal with? What? Is it you or does stuff not make sense anymore?
"I am so sorry."
"It's okay, I'm just wonderin how they were able to get a table."
"Well the mafia is well known by the employees here so they can walk in anytime to eat."
Mafia? They're the mafia? Well, you're probably gonna die right after graduation then.
"Wait what? No way, they're part of the mafia?"
"Yep, most deadliest teachers ever."
Okay now it makes sense.
"Wow, I guess I should stop bein such a crappy student then."
"They don't go after students they've had so don't worry."
You both laugh.
"Well that's a relief, also I'm bringing you home at nine thirty right?"
"Yeah if that's okay, I know my mom said whenever but..."
"I get'cha it's no problem."
"Thanks for understanding."
"I wouldn't want to get on your sisters bad side. Or not worse than I already am."
"Don't take it personally, she doesn't really like guys hanging around me in general."
"Right because of Tavs bro."
"Yeah..."
"So what happened exactly? I mean I only roughly heard what happened from Cro."
"There's not much to explain really, Rufioh cheated, she found out, got a broken heart then broke his bones."
"I was hopin that Cro was lyin about that part but apparently not."
"I wish."
She takes a sip of her soda and you do the same.
"So I was thinkin maybe we could be in the talent show together, we could do these amazin magic tricks I've been practicin."
"That sounds awesome, are you going to teach me some then?"
"Course I am you need to know some too."
"Can't wait to learn."
She gives you this adorable grin which makes you smile.
"So, um, will I be able to meet your real dad anytime soon?"
"No, sorry."
"Why?"
"It's just... He walked out on my mom and Damara while my mom was pregnant with me."
Oh god, Ho god you're such a dick oh god ffffuuuuck.
"Oh, god I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked."
"It's okay you didn't know don't worry about it."
You both eventually finish your dinner and dessert and are finally leaving. You check the time and it appears you still have some left.
"Oh, it looks like we have just a bit of time left."
"Really?"
"Yep lucky us huh?"
"Definitely."
You open the passenger side door and assists her inside. Then you pop into the drivers side and start driving.
"So is there anythin you wanna do?"
"No plans in particular other than this."
"Okay well then I know somewhere we can go."
"Where?"
"I'm not tellin."
You know of the perfect place to go.
"Could you at least give me a hint?"
"It's outside."
"Well that's not helpful."
"You didn't say it had to."
"I didn't think I had to."
"Oh come on Ar you've know me long enough that you gotta know."
"I was hoping you'd throw me a bone for once."
"Nope."
It isn't too long before you reach your destination.
"Who in the heck taught you how to drive and why do you even have a drivers license? Every time I'm in a car with you while you're driving it feels like you're going full speed."
"Well it's not full speed but I just hate goin slow it makes me feel like an old person or somethin."
"I'm gonna leave that with the other facts that are strange about you and move onto my question which is where are we?"
"It's this great spot to see the stars and stuff."
"Oh cool."
"Come on."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna lay on the hood."
"Aren't you gonna freak out over getting your clothes dirty like usual?"
She gets out and joins you on the hood.
"I got it washed earlier, I would never even think as to getting my clothes dirty."
"Well then when you come with me on my dig sites I'll be all filthy and do you know what the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm done for the day?"
"What?"
"Give you a big hug to share the love. And by love I mean dirt."
"Ar you better not I fuckin swear."
"Nope I'll walk into where ever we're staying at and get dirt all over you."
"Ar if you do I'll have to get you back."
"I would love to see that."
"Yeah well I'll think of somethin don't you worry."
"I won't."
"Worry."
You both can't help but laugh.
"Oh hey look its the big dipper."
"What where?"
"Right there."
"Where?"
"Gah right there!"
She finally decides to just take your own hand and point to it.
"Oh."
"Geez make me blow a gasket."
"How'd you see that?"
"It's easy for me, I love astronomy."
"Huh, I didn't know that you were into that stuff."
"Stars are pretty cool what can I say."
"Oh I have an idea."
You hop off the hood and get back into the car.
"You better not freaking drive with me on here or I will kill you."
You get back out and rejoin her back on the hood. You can hear Panic! At the disco and fun c'mon with fun playing quietly. But eventually it ends when you look at your watch.
"We better get goin or you'll be late and I dunno about you but I don't want that happenin even though I don't wanna leave."
"Neither do I."
"How about I promise I take you back here again."
"I'll hold you to that promise mister Ampora."
You both get back into the car and you drive a bit slower this time.
--------------------
"Thanks for such a great evening."
"It was my pleasure."
You two are in the middle of hugging goodbye when the front door opens. You let go and take a small step back.
"Uh, was just leavin, good night Ar. Night Dam."
"Good night."
As you leave you hear Damara say something but you don't quite catch it. You get back into your car and start her up when you get a Pesterchum notification?
twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]
TA: you better not fuckiing hurt her or ii 2wear youll have more than damara to deal wiith.
CA: i plan on doin nothin of the sort noww if youll excuse me i wwas goin home and ar says i shouldnt text and drivve at the same time
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]
Feels good to be able to do that to him. Two great things in one night, fantastic.
--------------------
You're finally home you hope that your dad or brother aren't home but what a surprise, you bet they were waiting for you so they could interrogate you about your date.
"Ah, there's the lad. How did your date go with the little lassie?"
"You told him Cro?"
"Course I did he's pops. But I wanna know too so spill the beans."
"It was kinda crazy but good none the less."
"That's great, did ye kiss her?"
"No and she's not the kinda girl to kiss on the first date anyways."
"Or did kitten just not want to kiss you in particular?"
"She's not that kinda girl alright Cro? We had a fuckin great time okay and we hugged that's it I'm going to bed thanks for ruining everythin I hate you."
You storm off to your room and slam the door then flop onto the bed. No matter how irritating he can be nothing can really ruin your happiness right now.