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To the surprise of most people stationed in the rebel base on Yavin IV, Captain Garazeb Orrelios, former member of the Lasan Honor Guard, and Captain Alexsandr Kallus, former ISB agent and Fulcrum operative, were almost inseparable.
Naturally, such an odd combination was bound to be the source of countless rumors, especially in a place with very limited access to entertainment such as the base. Some people said they were star-crossed lovers who had been fighting in opposite sides of the war, and now finally they had found a way to be together. Others said they had once been bitter enemies, brought together by circumstance, and had grown to tolerate each other through honor and mutual respect. There were even some people who believed that their meeting had been foretold by the prophecies of old, and that their union was supposed to bring balance to the Force.
All of the rumors and their variations were met with different levels of skepticism or enthusiasm from the members of the rebel alliance, but there was one thing almost everyone seemed to agree with: they were most definitely fucking.
As it happens, both Kallus and Zeb were completely oblivious to the rumor mill. Whenever people looked at them funny Kallus thought it was distrust due to his Imperial origins, and Zeb thought they were just surprised to see a member of an almost extinct species out and about.
Either way, they were already used to the stares, and usually went about their duties without paying much attention to other people. But all that changed one day in particular.
"There you are!" said a very familiar voice behind Kallus' back. He had been doing some inventory check-ups with the help of AP-5, when Zeb came into the room. "Been lookin' for you all over!"
Kallus smiled despite himself and turned around. "Welcome back, Captain Orrelios" he said, trying to maintain some modicum of formality in front of the droid, but he knew it was a lost battle when Zeb enveloped him in a hug and started nuzzling his neck the way he did whenever they spent more than a week apart.
He didn't have it in himself to stop Zeb, but he was aware that AP-5 had stopped working and was observing them intently, as if studying them, so he cleared his throat to let the lasat know that they weren't alone.
"Hey there, mate," Zeb said to the droid, as if noticing for the first time he was in the room.
"Captain Orrelios" said AP-5 with his monotone vocoder.
"I take it the mission went well?" Kallus said when he was finally freed from the lasat's embrace.
Zeb nodded. "A bit too exciting for a simple supply run, but nothing we couldn't handle."
"You'll have to tell me all about it later," Kallus said fondly. He missed being part of the action, but since he'd been promoted to Captain his superiors had deemed him a necessary asset on the base.
"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna stay grounded for a while so maybe we can hang out later, yeah?" Zeb said with a toothy grin. "Maybe we could get a head start on that sparring session we talked about."
Kallus shook his head, amused. "You've only just arrived, you should rest. Besides, as you can see, AP-5 and I are rather preoccupied at the moment."
"Really? You're gonna ditch me to do inventory?" Zeb said, with a hand to his chest in mock-offense. "Rex said you had the day off today!"
Kallus rolled his eyes. "Technically I do, but as you very well know, Garazeb, there are no days off in war, not really."
"C'mon, Alex, I bet you've been holed up since I left." Zeb said. "And I'm sure AP-5 here can finish up whatever you have going on, right mate?"
AP-5, the traitor, nodded. "Yes, Captain. I am more than capable."
Kallus glared at AP-5 before he could get started on how the rebellion was wasting his talents. "Fine! You win," Kallus said, turning back to Zeb. "Just give me a few minutes to finish up here. I'll meet you at the entrance."
"All right, ten minutes. You know I'll come back and drag you out if I don't see you out by then!"
"Yes, yes, you incorrigible scoundrel. Now go and let me do my work, will you?" Kallus said, suppressing a smile as he pretended to be annoyed.
Zeb just grinned at him, and with a nod in AP-5's direction he left the room.
"I must say, AP-5, I didn't think you'd want to get rid of me so quickly," Kallus said to the droid once they were alone again.
It was well known that Kallus was one of the only humans AP-5 tolerated on a regular basis, so it hadn't come as a surprise when the droid had approached him for assistance that day. "It's not a matter of what I want, Captain. You organics are very easy to read."
"What do you mean?" Kallus asked, confused. "Please, elaborate."
"Well, you must be aware that almost everyone on the base seems to have an opinion about your relationship with Captain Orrelios." The droid explained. "I hear things. People seem to forget very easily about my presence. So, yes, I am aware of the nature of your relationship and, logically, I understand why you would rather spend time with him now that he has returned."
There was a minute of silence while Kallus processed the droid's words.
"AP-5," he started "are you under the impression that Captain Orrelios and I are involved, romantically?"
"It is common knowledge at the base, sir. You don't have to deny it just because I am a droid. My understanding of these matters is quite adequate," AP-5 said rather proudly.
Even with all his training, Kallus was having a difficult time keeping a straight face. "Am I to understand that everyone on this base sees fit to discuss my private affairs?"
"I am just repeating what I've heard," the droid said frankly.
"What else have you heard?" Kallus asked in a dangerously low voice.
"Ah, well... There is... speculation, sir," AP-5 said, visibly uncomfortable, even for a droid.
"About?"
"About... lasat anatomy."
"Oh, karabast."
And from that moment on, Kallus was haunted by the numerous and very detailed descriptions of what the entire rebel base thought lasat dicks looked like, until one lucky day he was able to find out when Zeb happily showed him what he'd been packing under his pants after all that time.