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It's been a week since the incident and, Cyrus still hasn't spoken to Tj. At first, he wanted to talk to Tj straight after he finished in Metcalf's office, but he couldn't find him. After speaking with Andi she told him how he probably shouldn't speak to Tj anymore because he put him in danger. Cyrus didn't really agree which her because it wasn't even Tj who brought the gun but he didn't want to upset Andi. Plus, he wasn't even sure if Tj would want to talk to him anymore. Sure Cyrus wasn't actually the one who told about the gun but he was going to and Tj probably didn't care about the details of it.
Yesterday Cyrus had almost cracked by trying to speak to Tj. He was walking to his locker after last period and decided to go past Tjs locker and paused for a moment. That's all it was, just a pause for him to contemplate waiting for Tj but then Andi messaged and him and they went to get baby taters at the spoon instead.
Today Cyrus was walking along with Andi and Buffy half listening to their conversation about the latest Andi and Jonah drama (something about his new girlfriend), and half zoning out imagining what Tj was doing right now. It turns out he didn't have to imagine for too long because as soon as they turned into the cafeteria Cyrus spotted Tj sitting at a table alone looking downright miserable. Cyrus stopped dead when he saw him and as if sensing eyes on him Tj looked up and locked eyes with him. Andi and Buffy must have noticed him stop because they stopped as well and looked up to see what was going on. “Come on let's go eat outside today,” Andi says harshly when she noticed Tj but Buffy elbowed her and looked between Cyrus and Tj like she was waiting to see what happened.
Cyrus so badly wanted to go over to Tj and say something but even though Andi hadn't said anything else she was still looking at Cyrus expectantly waiting for him to leave. Just as Cyrus thought he might ignore what Andi wanted, go talk to Tj, and try to make up with him, Tj broke their eye contact got up and rushed out of the cafeteria looking like he wanted to get as far away as possible as quickly as he could.
“he hates me” Cyrus muttered sadly after watching Tj back walk away.
“You don't know that Cy,” Buffy said softly placing her hand on his arm, guiding him to a table “I'm gonna go get you a muffin,” Buffy said once they had sat down “You just stay here with Andi”. While Buffy went to get the muffin Andi and Cyrus sat in silence and She didn't say anything about Tj or how Cyrus shouldn't talk to him anymore…..thank god.
For the rest of the day, Cyrus couldn't concentrate in any of his classes instead, he spent the whole time thinking about Tj and their moment in the cafeteria, he hadn't looked angry exactly (more like sad) which confused Cyrus but he figured it might be because he was missing his friends. That's another thing that confused Cyrus, he hadn't seen Reed or Lester around since the incident Buffy told him her friends from the basketball team mentioned some kids being suspended because of a gun, but when he asked why Tj hadn't been suspended Buffy just shrugged and said she didn't know. Cyrus was extremely happy that Tj wasn't suspended as well but it was really bugging him to not knowing why. He also still hadn't found out who told about the gun. When he was talking to the officer he hadn't really been in a position to ask and he just assumed that reeds parents noticed it missing and called the police themselves.
Normally Cyrus would hang out with Buffy and Andi after school but today he decided to just walk straight home, not really feeling like talking to anyone right now. But when he started to walk past the park he just couldn't resist going to the swings to think everything threw, the swings were the first place he and Tj had really connected, after all. While he sat down and started swinging he thought about all the time he spent with Tj, and how much he missed him. Cyrus knew that he shouldn't be feeling this strongly about not seeing someone who he hadn't even been friends with for that long but he couldn't help it. He knew he didn't only have friendly feelings for Tj, he had a crush ….. He might even be falling in love with him.
He wasn't sure when his feelings changed from platonic to romantic but he knew that after Tj rapped his apology to buffy that he was gone on him.
After a nearly half an hour of swinging and thinking about Tj he heard someone clear their throat behind him and slowly turned around ... It was ... TJ.
For a while, they just stared at each other waiting for the other to make the first move.
“Hey,” TJ said softly( after a little bit more staring)
“Hey,” Cyrus said back unsure what to do now. He desperately wanted to tell Tj how sorry he was and how much he missed him, and to get back to normal but he just didn't know where to start. Tj started to move and for a second Cyrus thought he was going to walk away but then he realised he was joining him on the other swing. Once he had sat down they were engulfed in silence yet again awkwardly swinging in place. After what felt like hours (but realistically was probably only a couple minutes) Cyrus finally worked up the courage to say something.
He turned to look at Tj who was staring straight into the distance “I'm sorry” he said breaking the silence and causing Tj to turn to look at him. He looked confused.
“Um... what,” he said sounding even more confused than the time Cyrus tried to explain algebraic fractions to him.
“I'm sorry for leaving that day” Cyrus rushed out “actually … I'm not sorry for that because the gun was dangerous and stupid but I'm sorry it upset you” he continued “and I'm sorry for basically telling Metcalf what happened and I'm sorry that you're angry at me and I'm sorry for getting your friends suspended” he finished
“Cyrus “ Tj started very slowly “what in the world are you talking about?”
“About how I told Metcalf what happened, I know I wasn't the first person to tell him but I was going to and I know you probably hate me for that,” Cyrus said sadly (not wanting to think about Tj hating him.)
Tj looked so shocked and Cyrus wasn't sure what he said that was so unexpected to Tj.
“Cyrus firstly, who do you think told about the gun in the first place” Tj started but before Cyrus could answer he kept talking “Me,” he said “ as soon as you left I knew I messed up and I left straight after you did and when I got home I told my parents everything and they took me down to the police station. I tried to keep you out of it as much as possible but I didn't want to lie to them. And you don't need to be sorry about reed I’m certainly not” Tj finally finished almost out of breath due to how fast he spat all the information out “Oh,” Cyrus muttered after a minute. He kept staring at Tj (not sure what to do with all this information.)
It makes sense that Tj told them it’s probably why he wasn't suspended and it made Cyrus so happy that Tj did the right thing. But now Cyrus isn't sure where to go from here.
“And secondly?” Cyrus askes staring at Tj mostly just for something to do.
“Oh,” Tj said softly feeling his cheeks redden while locking eyes with Cyrus “well .. I... I could never hate you, Cyrus, even if I wanted to” Cyrus could feel a blush rising to his face and he had butterflies in his stomach. He doesn't know what to do now but when he breaks eye contact with Tj and sees his hand he knows what he wants to do. He really wants to hold Tjs hand.
He decides to be confident and take a risk. He slowly puts his hand out and brushes it against TJs (still not having enough confidence to fully hold it) hoping Tj would get the message... Luckily he did and threaded fingers together while rubbing his thumb over Cyrus's knuckles, causing Cyrus’s heart to start beating 1 million miles a minute and his face to turn redder than a tomato. When he looks up a TJs face he sees him staring at their hands looking happy with his face equally as red and all Cyrus could think was how he prefered this expression so much more than the one in the cafeteria … in fact, he never wanted to see the one from the cafeteria again.
‘Hey,” Cyrus's voice creaked a little as he tried to get Tjs attention, “If you weren't sad about not being with your friends what was wrong in the cafeteria?” Cyrus questioned.
“I was sad because I hadn't seen you all week and I thought you were angry at me and avoiding me” Tj answered, “I wasn't avoiding you I just thought you were angry at me” Cyrus quickly replied.
“Were both so silly we could have saved so much sadness if we had just talked” Tj said “yeah?” Cyrus said back, thinking about how if Andi had just minded her own business and let them talk everything would have been fine.
“But I'm really glad we're talking now” Cyrus added “I missed you Not-So-Scary- Basketball-Guy” “ you to underdog”
It was at this moment that Cyrus became acutely aware that they were still holding hands and his hand tightened his hold just a bit. Happy for the first time all week.