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Part 8 of 15 day lyrics challenge - 2k18
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Published:
2018-12-09
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1,468
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1/1
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thinking I'm in heaven

Summary:

But this, this is it. Whatever happens tonight, Derek’s either going to be heartbroken or more in love than he’s ever been before. It all depends on Stiles.

Notes:

from "Fighter" by Patty Monroe ft Amanda Palmer: "From hostessing in the club/dancing with the devil/taking the sips of venom/thinking I'm in heaven/but that's just a shortcut to hell/I can feel it in my blood vessels".

This was definitely inspired by the lyrics before I heard the entire song and I don't know that it works super well with the song itself but the lyrics were inspiring so!!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Derek's stomach churns. He thinks his intestines might actually be tied into actual knots because it physically hurts how nervous he is. He doesn't think he's ever in his life been this nervous, and he has diagnosed anxiety. 

This is it. Whatever happens tonight, Derek's either going to be heartbroken and single, or more in love than he's ever been with anyone. It all depends on Stiles, and more importantly, Stiles' reaction. 

Stiles, who Derek's been dating now for almost two years. Next week is the second anniversary of their first date, and while he doesn't think Stiles actually cares about nor knows the exact date, Derek is never going to forget the first moment Stiles walked into the office Derek had been interning at back then, the conversation they'd partaken in after the meeting, and the look of surprise and joy on Stiles' face when Derek had asked "You wanna go out some time?" They'd ended up going out for dinner and drinks that very night, and since then it had been good. Really good. This is the man Derek wants to spend his entire life with.

But this, tonight - 

Well, Derek is nervous

"You okay?" Stiles asks, breaking Derek out of his headspace. He looks up at his boyfriend, who's watching him with marked concern in his eyes, sipping on the wine in his glass. As far as Stiles knows, this is just another dinner date at Derek's apartment, which are not uncommon considering Derek loves cooking and is a not-so-secret romantic at heart.

"Yeah," Derek says, voice gruff. He clears his throat and tries again. "Yeah, no, I'm fine. Just lost in my head there for a moment."

Stiles nods, and yes, Derek's got him off his trail, but then he sets his glass down, leans back in his chair, and crosses his arms. 

"You wanna try again and tell the truth this time?"

Stiles knows him so well. God, Derek really loves his boyfriend. If this goes well tonight, he is so going ring shopping tomorrow. He shakes the thought even as it comes, nodding again, more enthusiastically. 

"Really, I'm good. Just a lot on my mind."

Stiles squints at him, assessing. 

"And you don't want to share it with your lovely boyfriend, who would never judge you - "

"Lie," Derek huffs out, and Stiles smirks but otherwise soldiers on as if he wasn't interrupted. 

"- and is a great listen and gives great advice?"

Derek bites his lip, taking a second to gather his thoughts. 

"Well, I just." He sighs. "I have something to tell you."

Stiles' face drops faster than that weird drop ride that's always at carnivals and state fairs.

"Dude. I know you have issues with confronatation," he starts, voice acerabic and anger underlying every enunciated word, "But I swear to fucking god, if you made one of my favorite meals just so you could break up with me, I will kill you."

"No!" Derek inserts as soon as he understands what Stiles is thinking and - well, yeah, fuck him, that is exactly the thing you say before you dump someone, "No, no I wouldn't - Stiles, I love you. I wouldn't. I'm not."

Stiles sits forward again, the annoyance exiting his expression as he stares at Derek, face scrunched as he thinks. 

"Then what?"

Derek takes another deep breath, having to regather all his thoughts, shocked and thrown off by the idea that Stiles would even consider that he was being broken up with - god, maybe Derek needs to remind him more often that he loves him. 

"Right, well," he pauses, pulling all his gusto together, "I mean. Okay. So." Pause, Stiles' eyebrows are near his hairline by now, and then "I'mawerewolf."

Stiles stares, blinks, then - "What the fuck?"

Derek shakes his head, telling himself it's not outright rejection, keep calm, Stiles is just shocked. 

"I'm not lying."

Stiles sits back in his chair again, not moving away from Derek so much as just changing position. He licks his lips. Stares some more. Then, with curiosity but also acidity to his voice, as if he thinks Derek might be pranking him, and maybe like he thinks Derek might be psychotic, says, "Werewolves aren't real."

Derek can't help the little smile that comes to his face, because even though he's only ever told three people in his life, it's always the same thing. 

"Promise me you won't freak out," he asks, and Stiles laughs, unexpected and loud. 

"You know me well enough, Der, to know that I freak out about everything."

Which is true, and fair. So Derek just - goes for his. He lowers his head, takes a deep breath, and lets his beta shift take over. Looking back up at his boyfriend - he hopes, after this - with his eyes glowing amber. 

"Holy fuck!"

Predicably, Stiles does freak out, jumping in his seat. Certainly not racing away in terrified fear, so Derek counts it as a win.

"Holy fucking hell," Stiles repeats, his jaw dropped open. There's a long, stretched-out moment of quiet before Derek shifts back, and it's only once his face is completely normal again that Stiles speaks up.

"You aren't kidding," he whispers, almost reverent, "You're a fucking werewolf."

"I am," Derek confirms, searching Stiles' face, but there's nothing there but shock and that curiosity sparked in his eyes.

"How long?" is his boyfriend's next question. 

"My whole life. I was born this way."

"I'm on the right track, baby," Stiles throws back instantly and without thought, and Derek doesn't understand what he means by that but Stiles seems distracted anyway. 

"Okay," he says after a moment, and there's no fear or hostility there at all, "You were born this way. So your parents are werewolves?"

"Mom is. Dad's human."

"The rest of your family?"

"On mom's side, yeah. Laura, Cora. Peter and Chloe. Nicki and Jameson."

Stiles blinks, taking it in. 

"I've met a bunch of werewolves," he says, brow furrowed like he's trying to understand how he could have, without knowing. And then - 

"What other supernatural creatures are real?"

Well, Derek wasn't prepared for this. He shrugs. 

"I've met fairies, druids, and witches. There's others, but they tend to be more sparse, so I couldn't say for sure. There's other were-animals, too. Werewolves are just the most populous. I can't name them all, I've never really bothered to learn."

"How?" Stiles infuriates, clearly annoyed that Derek wouldn't spend every moment learning everything he could, but while Derek's smart he's not Stiles. He's never gone down a Wiki-hole and ended up on a page about Pearson Yachts when he's started out on one about conservation status (which is a real example Stiles has mentioned, before). He huffs a laugh at the outrage. 

"Mom has books if you'd be interested in learning more."

"Of course I would!" Stiles shouts, then blinks, going quiet. "Were you nervous about telling me this?"

Derek shrugs again. 

"It's not like humans always take it so well. And, well, there are hunters who hunt down our kind, sometimes, so you have to be careful."

Stiles looks concerned, meeting Derek's eyes and maintaining it as he speaks. 

"I love you, Derek Hale, and it doesn't matter to me if you are a human or a werewolf of a vampire or...whatever else. Okay?"

He's so sincere, and like he wants to make sure Derek understands so much - 

"Move in with me."

Stiles blinks, then a grin slowly slides across his face. 

"For real?" he asks. 

"Yes, move in with me," Derek repeats, "I just...it's been two years, and I love you, and I want you here with me. All the time." Always, he thinks.

"Absolutely," Stiles answers, no hesitation. Derek gets up from his chair, making his way around the table to Stiles. No communication is needed, as he leans down kiss his boyfriend. There's no wince, no movement away from him, and it's such a good sign that Stiles kisses him back like he always does. 

Yeah. No more consideration needed. Derek's proposing, and probably soon. Then that will get to be what he's the most nervous about. 

"Okay, okay," Stiles pulls away as things get a little more heated, "But I have so many more questions."

Derek grins, moving back to his own seat again and grabbing his own glass of wine. They'll probably be here all night. 

"Go for it." And Stiles dives right in.

*

(It's two a.m. before they end up going to bed that night, but the next weekend is spent moving Stiles in. What little Stiles hadn't already had at his place, to be fair. And everything Derek has done with his life, up until this point? Everything is worth it, to bring him to this point, where he gets to wake up every morning to Stiles' face.

Notes:

find me at asocialfoxpaw

don't post my stuff on goodreads or like sites. I thank you in advance.

I swear one day during this challenge my fic will be out before 11 p.m. but today is not that day. nor will tomorrow be, probably; i've got a 13 - 14 hour workday soz. but one day during this challenge! i promise!

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