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Minho was water.
His slim body moved around as if it was made of fluid; as if gravity didn't exist.
The dance captured his whole being - every cell, every thought. Everything in him was focused on the steady rhythm of the music, letting his preoccupied mind forget - at least for a while - about the stress that he had been bottling up. The brunette was quite the sight until a sharp move, not completely thought through caused him to trip over his feet with a yelp.
Minho had been dancing for the past six hours - the time now nearing two o'clock in the morning - but the male wasn't thinking of stopping anytime soon. He had to practice - the step that he always messed up was driving him crazy.
If he had to be fair, he knew he could just mess with that part and change it to something easier, or even skip it - at that particular time of the dance, he would be at the back, his body hidden by the rest of the members - so it wouldn't really matter if he didn't do it. Probably no one would notice.
Though, he forced himself to do it. He couldn't imagine leaving it like that - it wouldn't stop bugging him and he would feel guilty being titled the main dancer if he couldn't do some easy step. He wouldn't give up; plus, the boy had to be perfect in order to not receive any criticism from JYP - the older man looked over Minho's every move in case the young male made any mistake just so he could have a reason not to add the boy back to the group.
Minho simply had to be flawless.
He hadn't known that he'd be able to return to Stray Kids. When he had been eliminated, the brunette didn't allow himself to sulk over it and had spent numerous hours in the practice rooms, either rapping, singing, or dancing. And it had been rewarding to do so - around a week after JYP had eliminated him, Minho had found himself in his office upon his boss's request. The older male had told him that he'd been watching him practice all day long, and with a calm voice, he had told Minho that if he improved enough, he'd debut with the rest.
Minho couldn't believe his luck back then. He had simply nodded, not able to form any words, and after bowing to the elder, he had exited his office - followed by the promise that JYP will continue watching over him.
It had been two long, tiring months since that day - Minho's boss never telling the boy his decision, nor sharing with him if he had gotten better or not; will he debut with the rest after all?
Minho didn't know if JYP had already made up his mind, so he forced himself to practice all day (and night). He practiced. And practiced. And practiced - for hours and hours, ignoring the sweat running down his back and how tired he was growing until his exhausted body collapsed on the floor, not being able to keep him standing up anymore; at this point, it was something that happened daily. He knew that it wasn't healthy, but he couldn't make himself stop - he wanted to return to the group, so he brushed off the tiredness as best as he could and kept practicing until the same thing happened again.
As he messed up for what seemed the millionth time, Minho let out an annoyed huff and sat on the floor, deciding to give himself the smallest break before continuing with this torture. He let his mind get lost in thoughts about himself, about his members, about how much he had to give in order to achieve his dreams. But mainly, he thought about a certain young rapper that he missed so much.
Minho hadn't seen him since the elimination. That horrible day, Jisung had been the first one to pull his numb body into a hug, telling him "it's okay, we will be okay, you will too, we'll fight for you, we won't give up on you" - the older wasn't sure if he had been comforting Minho or himself, taking notice of the way Jisung's voice cracked as he choked out a sob. He hadn't said anything, only pressing their bodies closer together.
It had taken him a few moments to progress what had happened - and that he wasn't part of the group anymore. He had let the others hug him, hushed words slipping from their lips, but Minho didn't understand what they had been saying, a dull ache in his head and body preventing him from doing so. The only thing he had been able to focus on was Jisung and how ethereal the younger boy looked under the light of the projectors on the stage that caused his warm brown eyes to sparkle. And it had been at that painful moment, as Minho's heart had clenched seeing the tears rolling down Jisung's cheeks when he had realized that shit, I'm in love with him.
He had known that he held feelings for the younger boy for a while - ever since that day Jisung laced their hands and timed the beat for him, Minho had come to terms with the fact that he didn't look at the younger as just a friend anymore. It was quite sad that he hadn't realized how deep he had fallen for him until that heartbreaking elimination; just the mere thought of not seeing Jisung every day sending painful shivers through his body.
It's not as if he was forbidden to meet up with him and the others - Minho just didn't want to do it. He didn't want them to sulk over his elimination and neglect their work, so he thought that it was for the best if they simply didn't hang out.
He brushed his growing feelings for Jisung aside despite how much it hurt him, and turned to nonstop practicing - the only way he could ever take his mind off of the younger boy and how stressed he was; and the only way he would be able to be brought back to Stray Kids.
As much as he loved and missed Jisung and his annoyingly adorable self, Minho decided to invest all his energy in improving his skills until he would be told that the eight of them would debut together. He knew that if he took a glimpse of the younger's face for even a second, he wouldn't be able to focus on his work. Thinking about the rapper made him go crazy, but as much as he tried to avoid Jisung from entering his mind, he couldn't.
Jisung was simply outstanding. From his fluffy brown hair to his slightly crooked tooth, he was not only an incredibly beautiful person but amazingly talented as well. There wasn't something he couldn't do, and it drove Minho nuts because how was it possible for one to be this amazing? He didn't know; he was left to wonder about it, mesmerized from everything the younger boy did.
Minho missed him so much to the point he felt physical pain, but he still made no move as to meet up with him. The closest he got to Jisung was listening to "Hellevator" and 3RACHA's songs, waiting impatiently until the younger's part started and his melodic voice caressed Minho's ears either with soft vocals or powerful rap - the dancer couldn't choose which one he liked better.
He was about to play his favorite song - "I see", the younger's solo - when a familiar voice came from the room next to his. Minho stopped and his breath hitched as he recognized who was the owner of said voice - Jisung.
It seemed so easy for the dancer to just run inside the room the younger occupied, but what would he do? He was sure that just from a glimpse of Jisung, he wouldn't be able to control himself and he'd probably kiss the rapper full on the mouth, and that's not something he wanted to do - he never figured out how Jisung felt about him.
Though, deep inside his mind, Minho knew that the love was mutual. The younger was someone who expressed his feelings openly, and with the way he acted around Minho, checking him out and eyeing his lips all the time, he couldn't look at the older in just a friendly way, or at least that's what Minho hoped for.
He stood up, carefully walking out of his room and slowly slid down the door of Jisung's one, wanting to hear the younger better.
Minho spent a good amount of time listening, so focused on Jisung's voice that he didn't realize he was crying until he felt a salty taste in his mouth from the tears rolling down his cheeks. He sniffled, wiping them off with his hoodie.
That was until it got too quiet - Jisung had stopped singing.
Minho hastily got up, sprinting back in his room and slamming the door shut, afraid that the younger had heard him - he didn't know what he'd do if Jisung walked in right now. The dancer sighed, letting his hand drop from the door's handle, and walked towards the spot where he had left his phone. He picked up the device and shuffled his playlist, losing himself in the songs and letting his body move swiftly in rhythm with the music once again.
➵
Jisung was fire.
The melody echoed in his ears as the fierce rap escaped his mouth, sending shivers down the spine of anyone close enough to hear him rap "District 9" aggressively.
"When others see us, we're a bunch of delinquents
Changing that view
Isn't an easy solution
But we can't lose energy
Cause of the misunderstandings and bias
Our duty is to prove who we really are"
He felt disgusting.
Practicing the debut song felt so wrong without having Minho and Felix on their team. He knew fans missed the two, and Jisung missed them as well - but it was hard to change JYP's mind.
Jisung never really understood why he eliminated them - all the songs the group made were absolutely amazing and unique, and now, without having Felix's deep raspy voice and Minho's honey vocals, they just had that empty feeling they couldn't fix. It wasn't like the songs they made now weren't good, no. To Jisung, they just seemed kind of dull, and he didn't like it. They definitely needed the two eliminated members back if they wanted to get rid of that feeling.
The boy couldn't wrap his mind around why Park Jinyoung didn't realize that. The eight of them were a team - ever since Chan formed the group, they had been together nearly all the time. They had gotten to know each other extremely well which led to them achieving mindblowing sync that left people astounded. All of them were able to understand what the rest were thinking just by the way they acted, even if it was the slightest movement - this helped a lot with dancing, which was definitely a very strong point of theirs.
Though, with the main and lead dancer now no longer in the group, it was getting hard, especially for Hyunjin who now had to choreograph their songs pretty much by himself. It brought him a heavy amount of stress, and that wasn't something he needed right now; the anxiety that the survival show caused was enough for him already.Plus, with the constant fights that Hyunjin and he had, the older boy probably struggled a lot now. Maybe Jisung could try to be nicer towards him - they were in the same group, after all.
Jisung felt as if JYP removed the two boys just for the sake of eliminating someone - maybe because they were in the middle of a survival show, and there had to be some drama. He knew that it would be hard for all of them to debut as eight, but that didn't ease the pain that he felt when the first elimination occurred. Though, for him, the reasons that his boss gave that had apparently caused the removal of the two members were pretty dumb. So what Minho messed up that song? No human was flawless. Plus, it happened once and he got himself together after that. He just needed some more confidence on stage, and he would be perfect.
And then there was Felix. Eliminating him because of his Korean had been so stupid that Jisung had almost snorted when he heard JYP say that, thinking it was a joke. The Australian boy had been learning the language for only a few months - obviously, it wouldn't be perfect. But he was working on it so hard, and the members helped him too. In no time, he would be perfect - but apparently, that wasn't enough for JYP.
Frustrated, Jisung shook his head, trying to stop the thoughts of the members from filling his mind.
Ever since the two were eliminated, Jisung's performances weren't as good as they used to be.
If he had to be honest, he would've been able to get himself together if Felix was the only one eliminated. But with Minho being the first to leave, things didn't stand like that.
Jisung knew that being in love was no excuse for him to grow so weak and lifeless, but every time the members mentioned Minho - or rather avoided doing so, which made his absence even more obvious - caused his chest to hurt so bad because he missed him. He missed him so much that he felt he'd go crazy if he didn't see the older boy soon.
It's not as if they were dating before Minho's elimination, but with the way they acted, one would think they'd been together for years. It was the small things - how Jisung would press his lips on Minho's forehead every time the older fell asleep, and the older's heart would flutter because he wasn't actually sleeping; he just loved faking it so he could steal that little kiss from the younger.
If one of them was struggling, the other would simply interlock their hands, whispering hushed words and managing to calm both of them in a matter of seconds. At some point, the rest of the members started teasing them about it - Minho and Jisung spent so much time together it was painfully obvious they liked each other, though neither of them made that damned first step, so every time they heard Felix snicker "I'm surprised you two aren't covered in hickeys yet" because the two older boys had spent the night in Jisung's bed, cuddled together, they'd let go of their hands fast, cheeks flushing bright red as they mumbled quiet disagreements.
When Minho was still with them, everything was so much easier - maybe except the fact that Jisung barely managed to hold himself back from kissing the older boy at any given moment - but excluding that, singing, rapping, and dancing had been so much easier and enjoyable when Minho was by his side, helping him and comforting him whenever Jisung needed it.
With the boy now out of the group, the rapper simply couldn't find the energy nor the motivation to do anything. He felt awful - the rest of the members were well aware of how down he was, but they couldn't do anything to help him recover. They understood where his pain came from, but they still had to get through the survival show - hopefully without letting any more eliminations occur. They had to focus on doing their best which didn't allow them to have any free time to help Jisung feel better. Besides, the boy did okay on stage; but that's it - just "okay". He didn't have that powerful aura surrounding him like it used to.
What Jisung found amusing was the fact that they already had the majority of the songs for their debut written - he could hardly sleep without Minho by his side, so the long nights turned into a time for him to write lyrics, much to Chan's disapproval; Jisung had been fast to cut him off by stating that the leader did exactly the same, and after that, Chan had left the younger boy be.
Jisung plopped down on the floor, taking his phone in hands and clicking on the Instagram app to get his mind off of Minho - though that didn't work very well.
As he went to the explore page, he was greeted by tons of photos of the older, each of them gorgeous - but definitely not as beautiful as Minho was in real life.
Jisung often thought about that; the way Minho was sculpted was something that would always amaze him. The dancer's body was perfect - he was muscular and well built, not too tall and not too short either. His face reminded Jisung of an elf, or an angel - Minho simply looked ethereal; his smile was probably what made the younger boy fall for him at the beginning. There was something special in it that managed to calm you down and make you feel at peace, and Minho always was open to offering a wide grin whenever he met Jisung's eyes.
That's why the younger never confessed - Minho with his outstanding personality and visuals was way out of his league, so he settled with being just friends. However, he still had a tiny bit of hope - it wasn't something unusual for him to feel Minho gently kiss his neck, trying his best not to get caught, whenever they hugged or when the older thought Jisung wouldn't notice; the rapper just never told him that he knew about it and that he didn't mind the little kisses at all - but he was still too afraid to tell Minho about his growing feelings.
Sighing, Jisung put his phone back in his pocket and picked up his lyric book instead. He went through the pages with scribbled songs, trying to choose which one he should practice next. His gaze fell upon "Glow", and then "3rd eye" - in those two particular tracks, his parts were emotional and the rap was lyrical and slower than usual; they fit perfectly with his current state when he was sulking over Minho and Felix - but mainly over the boy that he fell for.
Jisung pursed his lips and tried to recall how the melody of the songs went as he pushed back the fact that "Glow" was the reason Minho was no longer part of the team. He began patting his thigh with his palm in rhythm with the beat, parting his lips and letting his beautiful voice out. He closed his eyes, leaning back on the wall, and let the music take over his exhausted body.
The first song had always been a favorite of his; even though Minho had made a mistake while performing, he and the other two who were part of his unit did great nonetheless. Jisung often found himself listening to it over and over just so he could hear the voices of the two eliminated ones again.
His eyes teared up, but he kept singing the song softly, trying not to let the sadness prevent him from rapping his part.
"Everyone's still busy running
But one fell down
Now instead of a small scar, emptiness remains
Days of silence flow
And then we all practice again"
Jisung hadn't realized that the lyrics were an exact reflection of what was currently happening among their team. He stopped singing, not being able to continue without bursting in tears. The male wiped his eyes with his hands, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down and moved onto the next song.
➵
Minho had spent quite a while softly singing along to the music playing from his phone, not daring to let his voice out completely - Jisung was probably still in the other room and Minho was afraid that the younger boy might hear him.
He craved the other's touch so badly; he wanted to snuggle next to him, to wrap his arms around his neck and pepper his beautiful face with kisses until he got to Jisung's pouty lips and pressed his own against them because he doubted he'd be able to stop himself from doing so anymore. The younger was his strong side, and after spending nearly two months without having any contact with Jisung, Minho didn't trust himself on what he would do the next time they met.
He wanted to embrace the younger and never let go, and with having him merely a room away, it would be so easy to do that - but Minho didn't dare to. He couldn't bring himself to walk those few meters to Jisung's room - though that was until "Hellevator" started playing.
Minho listened to the lyrics, his mind playing pictures of the time the eight of them worked on the song together. He remembered how excited they were, how hard they were trying to make it unique, to show their color and thoughts into the track. He remembered how they chose Jisung to do the high note because he was the only one capable to do it - and the boy hadn't disappointed.
The dancer thought of that day Jisung held his hand and timed the beat for him, trying his best to help Minho out. He recalled the feeling of the rapper's warm touch, and how caring and thoughtful he was. Minho would never have come up with something like this in such a stressful situation, and so he was extremely grateful for Jisung.
Though, that had gone to waste seeing as Minho was eliminated later on. He felt so guilty for failing his team, but there wasn't much he could do now.
His eyes had watered at the beginning of the song, but after going through his memories, Minho let the tears fall down freely. His mind was racing; Jisung was still in the other room. Should I do it? Minho thought, resting his head on his knees.
He had almost decided against it when the chorus of their first song started.
"My life was rock bottom, an edge of a cliff
I'm walking in a dark tunnel
Cruel and fearful days
I'm enduring through alone "
"No. I am not alone," he whispered to himself. The boy wiped the liquid off of his tear stained cheeks; it was now or never. If he didn't do it now, he probably wouldn't find the courage again. He was sick of hiding his feelings.
Minho stood up just as Jisung's part started, causing shivers to run down his spine.
"I hold out my hand
But no one is there to grab it
I'm riding on my pain and my tears
As I try to escape above"
He wasn't going to run away anymore.
➵
Jisung was leaning against the wall in the practice room as his voice, full of emotion, echoed around the small space. He was rapping his first verse in "3rd eye", eyes shut tightly as he tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spill.
"I wanna find my keys that are hidden
So I can open my locked up eye
My third eye is wrapped around the chaos in my head
I'll give it a short kiss
Am I not able to open or do I not want to open?
Like a chained and locked door
My eye is closed, tightly"
He was tired. He was stressed. He was anxious. You name it - he's got it.
But mostly, he was in love. He was in love with that stupidly amazing person who he hadn't seen in so long and who he missed so much - but Minho had insisted that they don't meet until the survival show ends. "It's for the better, Ji," he had sniffled that day two months ago before waving goodbye at his former teammates and leaving the dorms.
Jisung hated that. His voice started shaking as the salty tears rolled down his angelic face, but he made no move to wipe them off.
"I don't want to be standing
And trembling in this nervous state"
At this point, he couldn't continue - the sobs he tried muffling finally escaped his trembling lips, cutting out his voice. Jisung was whimpering violently, his whines growing louder and more heartbreaking - he was glad that the time was nearly four in the morning and there weren't many people around.
He looked up, squeezing his eyes as he tried to stop the tears. His mind was once more occupied with thoughts of Minho - not as if that hadn't been the same for months - and he was wondering just when would he see the older boy again.
Jisung buried his face in the hoodie he wore - that actually belonged to Minho - thinking about where the dancer would be now, and how is he doing, when the door of the practice room fell open with a loud bang as someone ran inside.
He didn't even get to open his mouth before he was roughly grabbed by the collar of the hoodie and pushed against the wall as a pair of soft lips captured his own.
➵
Jisung's high note in the song came up, the younger's voice so powerful it caused Minho to shiver slightly. The male took a deep breath as he, at last, made his mind.
"I'm on a hellevator
My hellevator
I'm on a hellevator
My hellevator
I'm on a hellevator"
Minho was indeed on a hellevator - but he finally decided to get out of it. He ran out of the room, not bothering to stop the song from playing, and stopped in front of the door of the place Jisung occupied. He felt his face heat up - there was no turning back now.
He closed his eyes, and after taking a deep breath, reached out his hand to press the handle down, pushing the door open harshly. His gaze immediately went to the petite male on the other side of the room as he took notice of the tears streaming down the younger's face.
Minho didn't utter a word; he just rushed over to the other boy, grabbing the collar of Jisung's hoodie - realizing that, in fact, the cloth was his own - and pushing the male against the wall as he collided their lips together.
His heart was going to explode as his hands desperately tried to bring Jisung as close as possible. He thought that he had fireworks in his stomach - the feeling of kissing the boy he fell for was something Minho never thought would experience, considering how he couldn't bring himself to make the first step.
The male suddenly stiffened as he realized that Jisung was staring at him wide-eyed, shock written across his face. The older panicked, going to pull away from the rapper's lips - but Jisung finally got on his senses, and he was having none of that.
Minho felt a pair of hands grabbing him by the shoulders and he gasped loudly as Jisung pulled him back down, pressing their lips together once more. Their teeth clacked from the messy, heated kiss; their breath hitched, eyes fluttering closed; soft begs and moans managed to escape from their swollen lips as the feeling of arousal filled their bodies. Neither of them minded the sloppy kiss, the two only thinking about how they finally got what they had been dreaming of for months.
Minho whined as he felt Jisung bite his bottom lip, and he let the younger boy in charge as he wrapped his arms around the shorter's neck.
"I've waited so long for this," Minho gasped into the other's mouth, his hot breath making Jisung groan. The younger pulled away, twirling them around as he switched their position. Minho felt his back harshly collide with the wall, but he was way too lost in Jisung to care.
"I have waited even longer, Minho."
➵
The younger male pinned Minho between himself and the wall, their lips once more melting together. Jisung ran his arms down the dancer's body, tapping the older's thigh softly; Minho took the clue and was fast to wrap his legs around Jisung's waist as the rapper picked him up, not breaking the kiss.
He felt Minho's hands tangling themselves in his hair, shakily trying to bring the two boys even closer because both of them wanted more. Jisung squeezed Minho's thigh, causing the older to open his mouth as he let out a groan. The younger used the opportunity to deepen the kiss, Minho giving in to him in a split second.
The older whimpered under Jisung's touch, muttering incoherent words as the rapper pressed their bodies closer. He cried out loud as the younger moved his mouth from Minho's lips to his neck, gently nibbling on the soft skin and leaving purple marks behind. The shorter male felt Minho guiding his hands to the hoodie he was wearing, and Jisung understood him as he pulled off the piece of cloth from the older's body. He peppered kisses all over the dancer's chest and face before locking their lips once more.
Jisung took a hold of the older's waist before placing one last kiss on his lips. He panted, resting his forehead against Minho's, both of them trying to catch their breaths. The younger inhaled deeply before soft chuckles rolled off his tongue, the older male soon joining him as they embraced each other in a tight hug.
Minho was the first to pull away, and with tears of happiness streaming down his face, he cupped Jisung's cheeks with trembling hands and tried to get himself together before opening his mouth to speak.
"Jisung I-I'm sorry for acting s-so bold, without e-even asking you; I ju-just heard you singing a-and I couldn't stop myself because I've wanted y-you for so long that I-"
Minho's rambling was cut off as Jisung placed a soft kiss on his lips. "It's okay, Minho. I've wanted this as well," he whispered, raising his hand and wiping the tears from Minho's face with his thumb, a small smile decorating his face as he looked at the older with a lovestruck expression.
➵
The morning found them on the couch in the living room of their dorm; after they had calmed down last night, Jisung had dragged Minho there and had forced him to stay and sleep cuddled next to him. They woke up to Felix's voice as the Australian male and the rest of the members barged into the dorm - after being at JYP's office - with the very words that Minho had been longing to hear.
They had done it. They were going to debut together as eight because their boss had finally seen that they work the best when none of them were missing. Chan was fast to bring all of them in a group hug, wide grins painted on all of their faces.
Minho looked at Jisung happily as the younger captured his lips in a sweet kiss.
"We can be together," he whispered, "we can finally be together."