Chapter Text
She wasn’t real.
This was a conclusion Yellow frankly hated nor even a philosophical road she particularly enjoyed.
But after Pink (Steven by nickname) had explained to her about his state, she had wanted to understand it. At first, it was simply to occupy her mind in something scientific, what with the chaos of the Authority.
But the more she read up on the subject, the more Yellow began to dig into the actual science of anatomical differences. Her findings were sheer heresy, had she not confirmed the results herself. Multiple times.
Take for example the action of cracking one’s knuckles. Something Yellow had found therapeutic. It makes a certain cracking sound, which was normal. Normal for humans, that is. For the sound came from the knuckle bones and their ligaments moving, hence the sounds.
Yellow didn’t have bones in her hands, nor ligaments. Yet she could make that exact sound with the same physical action as a human would. Where did the sound come from? What purpose did it have for gems?
This small discovery led her down a deep black hole of research. Hindered by the queasy nature of her species. Yellow was no stranger to blood and gore, but most gems couldn’t stand it. There was no way to request a human corpse from the zoo, they were all cremated. Not that Yellow particularly wanted Steven to see her dissecting a human.
Luckily, where gem society failed her, humans had more than enough books on the subject. They required her to shrink down to read, but it was a fairly minimal price to pay for knowledge.
Yellow tested reflexes, eye movement and instincts. Mostly on herself, this was very touchy research that did not need to see the light of the stars. Pearl was a great help in aiding her, keeping this all hidden for now.
What humans had, gems shared almost 1:1. There was no need for nerves, bones, tears or certain movements. Yet her body (and Pearl’s) functioned just the same as a human’s.
It was getting frightening if she was being honest. It didn’t make any sense for her body to do anything but the bare minimum to keep it functioning and her gem safe. She could count the organs she had with one hand. Teeth, tongue, eyes, maybe lungs. The rest of her was just..mass, created from light. Mass that mimicked organic functions.
When science failed, as rare as that was, Yellow turned to Blue for lore and history. She didn’t like to rely on the esoteric court for knowledge, but she had exhausted her own court for information.
Blue offered her two versions, after hearing her problem. One was the Authority approved version of the perfection of the Diamonds. The other was the old story of White the AI. In public, it was heresy. But in private, Blue had never hidden her opinion on it. It just made more sense, with how their species functioned.
Digging through less scientific human papers had also brought Yellow to the concept of a homunculus. A created being in service of its master, made in their image.
Hence, the horrid realization of her state. Her body was a light projection made to mimic an organic one, down to little actions that served no other purpose than to match its originator.
She was no more real than a hologram, just a facsimile of life.