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There were only two boxes. First places were like that, Emma had heard. Growing up her parents had always had a lot of stuff, and her grandma had been worse once she’d moved in with her. Alyssa’s mom had been the opposite; a minimalist in the extreme, though not so much that her house had ever contained just two boxes, a mattress, and a purple bean bag chair.
Now, Emma and Alyssa were forced into that aesthetic, more because they had nothing than because they appreciated it.
Everything they owned had fit into three boxes, and they’d carried them from Emma’s truck easily without help into their apartment the day before.
It was theirs.
Emma smiled at the small studio, which currently held the still packed boxes, a mattress, and the bean bag chair that had been Emma’s graduation present from her grandmother which had followed her faithfully from dorm to shitty apartment to this little haven.
“Emma?” Alyssa’s voice echoed in the empty space when she came in. “Did you finish unpacking?”
“Yep,” Emma said, cheerful sarcasm oozing from the words. “Everything we own.”
Alyssa sighed and shook the snow out of her hair. “Shouldn’t we do something about the boxes?”
Emma shrugged. “Why? We got the plates out, and the sheets. What else do we need?”
Chewing her lip, Alyssa crossed the room and opened the box closest to her. After rooting around for a moment, she held something up. “This?”
Standing to see what she’d found, Emma caught herself nearly tearing up.
It was their prom photo. Both of them were dizzy and smiling, Barry’s elbow was visible in the background from hovering near the photographer. he’d stationed himself there for most of the night, arranging students into the “best poses”.
Emma smiled at took the framed picture carefully out of Alyssa’s hands. “Wow. We look so young.”
“I know.” Alyssa looked up and smiled, running her hand through Emma’s now mostly buzzed hair.
“Look at where we are,” Emma sang, “Look at where we started.”
Alyssa laughed and gently punched Emma’s arm. “God you’re such a nerd.”
“I’m a stage manager! Being a musical nerd is a job requirement. Plus I can’t hang out with Barry as much as I do and not know some lyrics.”
“God wouldn’t he love to play Hamilton.” Alyssa snorted.
“He says he sees himself more as George Washington; you’d think he’d have learned his lesson about playing presidents.”
They laughed at the image of Barry attempting to play a Very Gay George Washington before Alyssa shook her head and wiped her eyes. “Seriously, we need to do something about these boxes, we can’t have Christmas like this.”
“Why not?” Emma asked. Seeing as it was Christmas Eve, it didn’t seem likely that they would be having it any other way. F c
“Because…” Alyssa paused, “Well… Christmas is supposed to be neat and decorated and pretty.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Emma pointed out. “I mean, we could have it like this and deal with the boxes after New Years.”
“Seriously?” Alyssa looked around, anxiety creasing her forehead. “That’s not… That’s not how we did it growing up.”
“Your mom?” Emma asked cautiously. Though Mrs. Greene had made many strides towards not being the Absolute Worst, she and Emma had never managed to get along, and her and Alyssa’s decision to move in together had caused another of her mother’s long silences.
Whether the silence was meant to be punishing or not, Emma knew Alyssa felt like she had done something wrong every time it happened. This one would hopefully not last as long as the one that had resulted from Alyssa’s decision to drop out of Indiana University to pursue a dance major at NYU.
Emma hated the gnawing anxiety she felt that her plan for New Year’s Eve might result in yet another protracted silence from Mrs. Greene, which would make something that was supposed to be happy into a nightmare. Not that that was a first for Emma and Alyssa, but that was half the reason she wanted to avoid it.
For once, they should have something good go off without a hitch.
Perfect.
“Well…”
“Do you want to unpack the boxes?” Emma asked. She had no interest in trying to find places to put all their stuff when they hadn’t yet made a much needed trip to Ikea, but she didn’t want Alyssa to be uncomfortable.
Alyssa frowned and twisted her hands in the fabric of her shirt. “I… Not really. But I want to decorate for Christmas and we can’t until the place looks better.”
“Why not?” Emma said again.
“Because… Well… I don’t know. Isn’t Christmas supposed to look good?”
“It doesn’t have to,” Emma said. “Our Christmas can look however we want it to.”
Alyssa’s face lit up. “Then let’s get a tree! And we need ornaments. And maybe we should get a candle this place smells weird.”
“If we get a real tree it will mostly take care of that,” Emma pointed out, standing to get her coat and boots. This seemed like a right-now sort of mission.
“A real tree?” Alyssa gasped, bouncing in childlike glee. “Even though it will drop needles get the apartment dirty?”
“We can sweep up the needles,” Emma pointed out, trying to get into her girlfriend’s enthusiasm but a little caught up in the sadness of it.
Rather than continue to speak, Alyssa squealed, darting forward to hug Emma.
Emma jumped back, nervous that too much contact might call attention to the box she had in the pocket of her jeans. Though she knew it was risky to carry it around, Emma felt weird whenever it wasn’t immediately in reach, as though it might disappear if she lost sight of it.
Unaware of Emma’s reaction, Alyssa went back to the door and pulled her coat on, still bouncing with glee.
Emma joined her and they took a moment to gear up with everything they would need for time spent outside at night on Christmas Eve in New York.
They linked arms, bending their heads against the wind as they walked down the street. Emma was sure she’d passed a lot full of trees around here a couple days ago; she could only hope it was still open.
About two blocks past where Emma had thought she’d seen the lot, they came across a church, brightly lit and full of people, though rather short on trees.
Emma stopped. Churches still made her nervous and the temptation to let go of Alyssa’s arm got became powerful for a moment.
It felt like the Wizard of Oz: Are you a good church or a bad church?
Alyssa squeezed her hand and pointed to a sign that Emma had missed. In bold, rainbow letters it said “All are welcome.”
Forcing herself to exhale, Emma held onto Alyssa’s hand and walked forward.
“You girls let us know if you need help!” An old man called, waving at them as they entered the lot.
“Merry Christmas!” Alyssa called back, receiving a chorus of similar wishes in response.
They wandered between the rows, neither one entirely sure what they were looking for. In Emma’s mind, trees were trees and their only limitation was the not very high ceiling in their apartment, and the fact that Christmas Eve wasn’t the best time to go tree shopping.
Their selection was limited but they eventually managed to find a small tree that suited their needs. Emma volunteered to take it home while Alyssa stopped in the first open store she found to by ornaments and lights.
Half an hour later, she returned to the apartment carrying two boxes of plastic ornaments and a box of lights, her face glowing with cold and excitement.
“What’s your favorite Christmas song?” Alyssa asked, digging through one of the boxes to find their speaker.
Emma just shrugged. She couldn’t think of one she really liked, though there were several she tolerated to varying degrees. “You pick.”
“Oh, you’ll like this one, it came up on a playlist the other day and it was so cute, I thought of you.” The apartment filled with a quiet, upbeat acoustic song that was easy to listen to, and perfect for decorating a tree.
It took them too long to get lights onto the tree, neither of them having done it before, but eventually they managed it.
The ornaments went on more slowly, with Alyssa taking the time to draw or write on them in metallic sharpie before she hung them up.
When they were all up, Emma smiled. “Just one last thing.” She turned the light off so they were basking in the warm golden glow of their tree lights and the faint glitter the ornaments cast on the ceiling.
Emma looked at Alyssa, whose full attention was on the tree, her eyes brighter than stars and soft as velvet. “Dance with me?” She asked, holding a hand out.
It was a little awkward at first, with cheesy Christmas music in the background and their characteristic clumsiness, but as always they settled into the perfect rhythm for them.
“I love you, Alyssa Greene,” Emma whispered, spinning her slowly under her arm before pulling her into a long, soft kiss.
Then she stepped back, taking a deep breath.
“I’ve loved you since high school, and I never want that to stop.” Her breath stuck in her throat and she hoped she wasn’t making a horrible mess of this. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and the only way you could make me any happier is if you said yes.”
Emma knelt down, holding pulling the ring box out of her pocket. “Alyssa Greene, will you marry me?”
Alyssa fell down, ignoring the ring in Emma’s hand and instead hugging her for a long moment, before moving in to kiss her. “Yes,” She whispered, full of tears and joy. “Yes!”
This is perfection, Emma thought, standing so she could sweep Alyssa into a dramatic dip kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
They kissed again, still basking in the soft glow of the Christmas tree, swaying to the soft background music.
“Emma?” Alyssa said.
“Yes, love?” She was so happy it was like a drug, and she could have stayed here, dancing with Alyssa for the rest of her life, completely content.
“I… There’s one more ornament to hang up.” Stepping away from Emma, she went back to where she’d been drawing on their decorations and picked up the last plastic ball. “You should put it on.”
Emma took it with more reverence than was necessary for something that probably wouldn’t have broken if she’d hurled it against the wall. Something about the way Alyssa was cradling it told her that it was special.
It wasn’t until she’d managed to place it on a branch close enough to catch the light that she realized what was written on it.
Will you marry me?
Emma stared, confused. She leaned in closer to look at it, as if it were possible to misread the words in Alyssa’s perfect script.
When she turned around to ask Alyssa what she meant, Alyssa was already kneeling.
“I love you, Emma Nolan. I love that we think the same way and that we’re dumb enough to propose on the same night. I want to marry you.”
“I want to marry you too,” Emma said, smiling so hard her face hurt as she slid the simple silver band onto her finger.
Alyssa finally got around to examining the ring that Emma had spent so much time agonizing over. She had purchased it at antique store then she and Barry had done a dumb, silly ritual over it to make sure it wasn’t haunted before she proposed with it.
Her plan had been to propose at midnight on New Years eve, which they were spending with Deedee, Barry, and the rest of what they fondly called the “Prom Committee” though they had planned their last prom a long time ago. She supposed that would become their engagement party, now that Emma had jumped the gun.
Smiling at the absurdity, Emma set Alyssa’s ring box next to her own under the Christmas tree and pulled her fiancée back into her arms.
Emma kissed her, and then spun her again, happy to enjoy the first dance of their engagement.