Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bruce Banner whistled along to the song pumping through his headphones, fiddling with the microscope in front of him. He peered down into it, observing how the Skrull DNA changed as he altered the light intensity. He jotted down his findings. He would have to type it all up later. 

He sat back in his chair, stretching out. His setup was pretty sweet; his own S.H.I.E.L.D. commissioned lab, based underneath a New York skyscraper. The public believed that the building was owned by a fancy law firm, but it was just a front for S.H.I.E.L.D. Fucking pretentious name if you asked him.

The Director, Nick Fury would send down samples and specimens for him to examine and do tests on. The work was pretty chill most of the time and the turn around was slow enough that Bruce got a lot of down time. Not that he did anything more than sit in his apartment and play video games.

The buzzer for the lab's door pierced through his music and he pressed the button to let whoever it was in. The buzz-in button was inconveniently placed next to the panic button. Bruce had pressed that by accident a few times in the year that he had been there, much to the security team's annoyance.

He was pleased to see a familiar red bob as Natasha Romanoff walked in. She was Bruce's closest friend and the person who had recommended him to Fury for this position. She was also a field agent, meaning that it was her job to actually beat the shit out of the bad guys, like H.Y.D.R.A., the neo-nazis. Nat came with her own codename and everything.

However, Bruce was surprised to see two security guards, wheeling in a hospital bed and medical machinery behind her.

"Nat, what's going on?" he asked, standing up from his chair to get a better look. The hospital bed, to his shock was occupied.

"Orders from Fury. He wants you to analyse our John Doe here. He's comatose and we need to know what he is and why he's like this." Nat spoke with her usual matter of fact tone, which only ever faltered when she was in a particularly good mood and/or wasted. Not that that happened often.

"Um... okay. Is he an Inhuman?"

"I don't know." The guards wheeled the bed and the man into an empty corner, setting up the heart monitor, IV drip, etc.

"Is he an alien? A Skrull?"

"I don't know, Bruce."

"What do you mean you don't know? You must have some idea or he'd be in a hospital and not in a super secret underground lab." Nat rolled her eyes, exasperated.

"I don't ask questions, I just follow orders." Bruce had heard those words so many times before. "The only intel I have on him is that he was found in the middle of a crater, barely breathing."

"So he fell from the fucking sky?" Nat shrugged and handed Bruce a file that was tucked under her shoulder.

"Official orders." Nat turned to walk out and the guards trailed after her. "Have fun. He's a cutie!"

"He's also in a coma!" Bruce called after her as the lab doors slid closed, leaving him alone with the Coma Comet™️.

He sighed, opening the file to read Fury's orders:

”Full blood work needed. Determine species and any genetic abnormalities. To be kept in lab if he wakes up. Detain by force if necessary.”

'Detain by force'; he chuckled slightly. As if his twink body could stop any kind of assailant.

Bruce walked over to John Doe. Nat was right, he was cute. Well, hot actually. Bruce was the kind of person who got called cute and they couldn't be more different. John had long blonde hair and plentiful stubble, defined cheekbones and prominent jaw. Even through the hospital gown Bruce could tell he was in prime shape.

He realised he was staring at an unconscious man and suddenly felt immensely creepy, walking away to get his kit for blood work.

Taking out the syringe, he touched John's arm. He felt stupid referring to him only as John; the name couldn't have suited him less.

Bruce found a vein in his right arm and carefully went to insert the needle. As the needle touched his skin, a flash of electricity exploded from the contact. What looked like blue lighting trailed up and down John's arm, making Bruce jump back in shock.

"Okay... not human then..." he muttered to himself, furrowing his brow. He needed to get the man's bloods somehow, but all the instruments he had to do so were metal. Unless...

He sat down at his computer, looking up a blueprint for a syringe. If he put the blueprint into the 3D printer he had pestered Fury to buy him, he could make a syringe entirely out of polymer. Then, maybe, without a conductor for whatever electricity John's skin was emanating, he could draw blood.

He sent the blueprint to the printer and waited patiently. In thirteen minutes it was ready and he retrieved his creation and strode eagerly back over to the hospital bed. Gingerly, he pressed the plastic needle tip against the skin and... yes! It went in without any weird body lighting. The 3D printer wasn't a waste of government finances after all. Suck it, Fury!

Bruce drew the blood he needed, depositing it into a vial for him to analyse.

"And now the fun part..." he said to himself. Time to find out exactly what was laying in that hospital bed...

Two days later...

Bruce read over the results of the blood analysis again, not quite sure what he was looking at. It had all the basic DNA markers of a human... and then some. Inhumans had dormant genes and mutations, but this was something else. It was as if he was Human+.

He had increased counts for both red and white blood cells, DNA markers the computer couldn't even read and, weirdest of all, when observed under a microscope, you could see little zaps of electricity passing from cell to cell. As if it literally ran through his veins.

Bruce rubbed his eyes. He hadn't slept much in the past couple days, determined to find out exactly what he was dealing with. It was in his nature for something to pique his curiosity and for him to not let go of it.

He took his DIY syringe and went to take more blood for secondary analysis. He was a scientist after all and had to make sure his findings were accurate. Although, electric blood wasn't exactly what you would call an anomaly.

The needle grazed the skin, but as it was about to enter the man's arm, his hand clamped around Bruce's wrist. The grip was seriously tight and painful, so much so that he thought he might hear his bone snap.

Bruce panicked and grabbed the emergency bed pan, whacking John Doe in his pretty face as hard as he could. John grunted in surprise, releasing Bruce's arm and allowing him to run to his desk and grab his cellphone. He dialled Nat as quickly as he could.

"Nat, tell Fury he's awake. He's awake and he's angry..."

"Small man! I demand you tell me where in the Nine Realms I am!"

"And... uh, British."

Chapter Text

Bruce, Nat and Fury stood in a row, looking into the lab’s isolation room through a large window. The man inside paced back and forth, punching and kicking things every now and again. He was still only wearing his hospital gown, so his bare ass was literally out in full view. He didn’t seem to care. 

It had taken the joint effort of Nat, Fury and two guards to get him into the room and to lock the door, sealing him in. Bruce clutched his bruised wrist, proof enough that the man’s strength was superhuman. 

“Did he tell you his name?” Fury asked, not turning away from the viewing window. John Doe kicked the wall and a tile fell off. 

“No, Sir,” Bruce addressed him, “He was too busy screaming about something called Asgard. He said he’s the king of wherever that is, but I didn’t get a name.” 

Fury responded with silence. Nat sighed as John punched the bed. 

“I’m going in.” she said, not waiting for permission and typing in the passcode for the door. Neither Bruce nor Fury made any move to stop her, or follow her in. 

The man turned in surprise at Nat’s entrance and made to charge at her. She whipped her standard issue pistol from its holster and held it steady in his direction. He stopped, cocking his head. Bruce thought he saw Fury smile slightly. 

“Tell me who you are.” Nat’s voice was flat and calm, which in itself held a certain level of dominance. 

John Doe didn’t reply, still staring at the gun in her hand. She saw where his gaze was and turned the safety off. The man flinched. This time Nat was the one cocking her head, but in challenge. 

“My name is Thor, son of the late Odin, King of Asgard.” He spoke loudly and proudly, as if accepting an award. 

“Thank you. Can I lower my gun now?” Thor nodded, gingerly and she returned the gun to its holster. “We don’t know where or what Asgard is. Is it somewhere not on Earth?”

Thor furrowed his brow. “Earth?” He spoke as if the idea of it was outlandish. “You mean to tell me I’m on Midgard?”

“Midgard?” Nat asked. 

“Yes. Midgard is Earth’s original name, given to it by my people. Your people named it Earth as the developed. I haven’t been here in centuries.”

“So you’re an alien?” Nat looked him up and down, clearly reciprocating Bruce’s own thoughts; he looked entirely human. He wasn’t blue like a Kree, but perhaps he was a Skrull in disguise. 

“Well, I suppose your people may call me that, but I prefer the word god.” Bruce looked at Fury in both panic and awe, but Fury remained nonreactive. Bruce had never seen an alien in person before, only analysing tiny samples of their DNA. Thor was underwhelming, if he was being honest. 

Wait... He thought to himself, realisation sparking in his mind. He punched the passcode into the door, bursting into the isolation room, ignoring Fury calling after him. Nat turned around, obviously expecting Fury, but when she saw Bruce she gave him a ‘what the fuck?’ look. 

“Ah,” Thor smiled, “It’s the small man again.” He looked to Nat and pointed at Bruce. “Look at him. Look how tiny he is!” He laughed heartily. Bruce tried not to be offended. 

“Did you say Thor? And that you were a god?” Bruce asked hastily, before he was interrupted again. 

“Why, yes.” Thor pushed back his shoulders, proud. “My family and I came to Midgard a long time ago and your people heralded us as gods. I think they even made a religion out of us.”

Bruce stood with his mouth open, thinking back to his one semester of Norse Literature in college, which he had found rather boring and regretted ever taking. Asgard, Midgard, Thor, Odin, the lightning that his skin created. 

“Oh my god... you’re fucking Thor. God of Thunder, Thor.” 

“Wait,” Nat looked seriously confused, “You’re telling me you know this man?”

“Not know him, no. But I know of him... He’s part of the old Norse religion. Viking shit.” He heard Fury enter behind him. 

“Bruce, you’re saying this man is seriously a god?” He asked, slight disbelief in his tone. 

“I guess so, but there’s theories that societies were guided in development by alien races. Maybe he’s just an alien who was mistaken for a god by people way back when.” Bruce, couldn’t take his eyes off of Thor. He couldn’t believe it. A god in the flesh. 

“Mistaken?!” Thor was clearly offended by the remark. “I am Asgardian! I am as close to a god as your puny race will ever get, the king of the most powerful species in all of the Nine Realms!”

“Anyways,” Nat said, turning to Fury, “What do we do with him now?” The room fell silent as they waited for his verdict. 

“Leave him in here for now. Observe him and assess his danger levels like we would do with any Inhumans.” Fury began to walk out, Nat following behind him. 

“How dare you lock me up like some animal or prisoner?! I am royalty!” Thor bellowed but made no move to try and escape. Bruce wondered why; if he really wanted to he could probably kill them all.

“Hold on a second,” Bruce cut in, also about to leave the room, “if you’re Thor, where’s your hammer?” 

Thor’s eyes were suddenly filled with absolute panic as he whipped around looking for the hammer that was not there. 

“WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS MJOLNIR?” Bruce looked to Fury, who just shrugged. Thor shot out his right arm with his palm open and just stood there. 

Nat and Bruce looked at each other in confusion. He was just stood there waiting, looking very idiotic. Every time someone went to speak, he held up a finger to tell them to wait. After about two minutes, loud clunking could be heard from behind the back wall of the room, which made no sense considering there was nothing next door and they were very  far underground. 

All of a sudden, a section of the wall exploded, sending earth, plaster and tiles flying everywhere. Bruce, Nat and Fury all ducked for cover from the debris, slowly standing up as it settled. The air was filled with dust and in the middle of it stood Thor, but this time holding a large, ornate hammer. Mjolnir. 

Lightning crackled around his right hand and forearm that held the hammer. “Here it is!” Thor said, smiling like a child who had just been handed a balloon that had long since floated away. 

Fury looked royally pissed off. “Nat, Bruce, it’s time to go. Thor, if you try and get out through that hole or damage anymore S.H.I.E.L.D. property, I will have you shot. God, or not.”

Back outside the isolation room, the three agents stood in a circle. 

“Bruce, this is your lab and right now, I don’t think we’re going to be able to move him anywhere. Not before we assess him. I need you to observe him and determine his threat level. And we still don’t know why he’s here.” Bruce tried to keep up with Fury’s words but was having a hard time processing it all. 

“Sir, I’m a scientist. I hardly think I’m entitled to babysit an actual god who could kill me at any second.” Bruce tried to keep the sass out of his voice. 

“Well, he hasn’t killed anyone yet, so that’s a good sign.” And with that Fury walked out of the lab, leaving Nat and Bruce on their own. 

“What did I tell you about just following orders, Bruce?” Nat asked, slightly annoyed. 

“I can’t do this by myself. I don’t even know where to start with him and now he has a fucking weapon! A magical weapon!” Bruce pointed towards Thor through the viewing window, who was passing Mjolnir from hand to hand like a baseball. 

“Do you have food in the refrigerator?” she asked. 

“Yeah, why?” Bruce looked to the refrigerator that stood in the back left corner of the room. It was filled with a few beers that he wasn’t supposed to have and lots of lunch food. 

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Isn’t that what they say?” Nat smirked, walking over to the door. “He’s even cuter when he’s not in a coma...” She left. 

She didn’t lie... He thought. 

Deciding to take Nat’s advice, he wandered over to the refrigerator and took out a can of beer and half a ham and cheese sub in saran wrap from earlier. 

He punched in the passcode to the isolation room and entered. Thor had dusted plaster and debris from the bed and sat down on it, Mjolnir rested beside him. He looked up at Bruce as he entered. 

“Here.” Bruce handed the beer and sandwich to Thor. He took them and looked at the can and turned it upside down, confused as to which way it went. 

“Do you drink beer? You know, ale?” Bruce asked, taking the can from Thor, flipping it the right way and cracking it open. 

“This is beer?” Thor asked taking it from the other man and holding it close to his face, furrowing his brow and assessing it. He took a sip and grinned, nodding. “This is beer!”

Bruce marvelled at his smile; it cracked his face entirely, literally transforming him from a pinnacle of manliness to a gleeful child. It was kind of adorable and incredibly youthful, considering he must be thousands of years old. 

In the blink of an eye, Thor had tipped the can upside down into his mouth and chugged the entirety of its contents, crumpling it effortlessly and throwing it onto the ground. 

“Is there another?” Bruce shook his head slowly, shocked. “Oh, well, thank you for the beverage.” He unwrapped the sandwich and began to eat. 

“Why are you on Earth, sorry, Midgard?” Bruce asked, blunt and curious. Thor swallowed the bite of food that he was eating. 

“My father...” the look in his eyes got slightly distant, “he was King of Asgard, but he died in battle. I am the rightful heir to the throne, but my brother, Loki, took it for himself. He threw me out of Asgard to make sure he would keep it.” 

Bruce looked at him, sitting there amongst the rubble with a forlorn look on his face and felt pity. He felt pity for a god.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he replied, not quite sure how to respond or console him. “But why are you still here?” 

Thor looked up confused, “What do you mean? You and your people are keeping me here.”

Bruce chuckled. “We both know that you are capable of getting out if you wanted to, especially now you have your hammer. There’s a large hole in the wall that almost definitely leads to the outside and yet you’re still here.”

Smiling gently, Thor sighed. “You are clever, puny man and you are right. I could have slaughtered you all. Even the fiery, warrior woman. However, you seem like good people, harmless mostly and I do not have any wish to harm you.”

The look in his eyes was genuine and Bruce believed that he was telling the truth. “Well, thanks for that, I’ll be glad to let my boss know... I’ll leave you to eat.” Bruce went to leave, turning his head to the side as he reached the door. “Oh, and if you call me small or puny again I will also have you shot.”

The isolation room’s door closed behind him and he sighed. His desk was an absolute mess of paperwork: a mix of data on Thor’s blood and the analysis of Skrull DNA. 

He logged into his Spotify on his PC and played ‘What I Need’ by Hayley Kiyoko and Kehlani, bopping while he cleaned up his work space, mostly just shoving things into drawers. 

He got a bit carried away at one point, stopping his cleaning entirely to devote all his attention to dancing. That was until he heard a thunderous laugh from behind him. 

Thor was stood, practically doubled over with laughter. “Bruce! You dance like a rooster set aflame!” Bruce was confused for a second, but then realised that what he thought was a one-way mirror was really just a window. 

I’m such a fucking idiot, he thought to himself, sitting down at his desk, turning off the music and opening up a random document, trying to act busy. He could still hear Thor’s laughter from the other room. 

Chapter Text

“So, what you’re telling me, is that Thor is not a threat to us, this country or this planet?” Fury stood in the lab, looking into the isolation room at Thor, who was currently juggling Mjolnir absentmindedly.

“Well, yessir. He’s powerful, more than any inhuman or other alien threat we’ve seen, to be honest. But, I’m pretty sure he won’t use his power to harm us if we release him.” Bruce was sat at his desk, which was messy as usual with paperwork, except this time it was all about Thor Odinson.

“Release him?” Fury turned to Bruce now with a concerned expression.

“He just wants to go home, back to Asgard. We can’t keep him locked up here; he’s one of the good guys.” Bruce hoped that his words weren’t too commanding, but he was determined to get Thor released. He had done nothing but cooperate with all of his tests and hadn’t once tried to escape through the giant hole in the wall, that was currently being fixed.

Fury was silent for a few moments, pondering, and then finally spoke, “Fine. I’ll arrange an escort. They’ll be here shortly, so get yourselves ready.”

“Wait you want me to go with him?” Bruce looked to the observation window. Thor was now laying on the bed, looking extremely bored.

“Correct. I expect that he trusts you to some extent, so yes you will be accompanying him.”

“Accompanying him where, exactly?” Bruce was slightly terrified that Fury wanted him to go all the way back to Asgard; that was a job more suited for Nat.

“Rochester, New York. It’s where we found him.” Fury walked towards the door as he spoke and then left the room without a farewell. Bruce was getting sick of people doing that to him. It made him feel unimportant. Maybe he was.

Bruce shed his lab coat and put on a grey hoodie and within ten minutes two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents buzzed the lab door. One was a Latina woman who Bruce had seen around the building and the other was a burly man who he had never seen before. Both wore surly expressions. 

“Is he ready for transportation?” the woman asked in a flat tone, nodding towards Thor on the bed.

“Let me go in and tell him what’s going on. I’m sure he won’t be any trouble once I tell him he’s going home.” Bruce punched the code into the keypad and entered the isolation room.

“Bruce!” Thor sat up on the bed, his childish grin splitting his face once again. He had long since changed from his hospital gown into a hoodie, sweatpants and generic sneakers. “Who are your friends?” He looked towards the guards, waiting patiently outside.

“I told Fury that you’re not a danger to anyone and he’s agreed to let you go home. The guards are here to take you back to where you landed so you can return to Asgard.” Thor’s face lit up at Bruce’s words.

“So I no longer have to reside in this tiny room?” Bruce nodded. “Thank Odin!” Thor leapt up from the bed and embraced Bruce tightly. He patted the god on the back and took in a gulp of air when he was released from his grip. Thor still didn’t comprehend his own strength.

The guards led Bruce and Thor silently into the elevator, to the upper levels and through a maze of corridors to the back of the building. The whole time Thor ogled everything with mild wonder and greeted literally everyone he saw cheerily.

Behind the building, they were met by an SUV with blacked out windows and they all piled in.

“How long will the journey be?” Thor asked the guards once he had figured out the seatbelt and they had set off. Mjolnir and a
duffle bag that contained Thor’s original
Asgardian clothing had been placed in the trunk.

“About six hours, depending on traffic.” The man responded.

“Traffic?” Thor enquired excitedly, leaning forward in his seat in the back, “Is that some kind of giant, winged creature that could attack us at any moment? Do I need Mjolnir?”

Thor went to open his palm to summon his hammer, but Bruce grabbed his wrist. “NO!” Thor recoiled, unsure of what he had done to warrant such a response. “If you summon Mjolnir while in this car it could tear through the engine and blow us all to pieces.”

“That would not be good.” Thor realised and Bruce shook his head. “Sorry, Bruce.”

“It’s okay, just be more careful.”

They spent the rest of the journey in virtual silence. Bruce watched out the window as the scenery changed from New York City to the substantially less built-up areas leading to Rochester.

At one point Bruce had put his earphones in to listen to music as he stared out the window. He would use it as an excuse to pretend he was in a movie, but considering he was currently escorting an ancient alien back to his home world for a secret organisation that he worked for, it seemed redundant.

He felt a tap on his shoulder a few minutes into ‘1989’ by Taylor Swift. “Why do you have those things in your ears?” Thor asked.
“I’m listening to music. On my phone.” Bruce held up his iPhone and shook it demonstratively. Thor nodded in a way that said he was acting like he understood, but he was more confused than ever.

“Can I hear your music?” Bruce handed him the left earphone and he stared at it for a few seconds, before placing it cautiously in his ear. His expression was blank for a second, then he smiled widely at Bruce and began to bob his head gently. Bruce grinned back; although irritating at times, Thor’s lack of knowledge about Earth’s technology could also be very charming.

After approximately six hours and a couple bathroom breaks and stops for food, the car pulled up to a road cordoned off by police barriers and officers. Bruce knew that the officers were really S.H.I.E.L.D. agents incognito.

The ‘officers’ opened up the barriers and allowed the SUV to pass through. After another couple of minutes of driving, the trees lining the road opened up into a field and almost exactly in its centre, there was an intricate design of symbols scorched into the grass and earth. Bruce thought it looked almost like a crop circle.

The four of them piled out of the car and the guards opened the trunk, handing the duffle bag to Thor, who also summoned Mjolnir. The male guard jumped a little as the hammer flew past him.

“Do you got him from here?” the female guard asked and Bruce nodded affirmatively.
Thor led the way through the field, to the centre of the scorched pattern.

“Well, I guess this is it, huh?” Bruce asked, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad the first alien I ever met was you.”

“And I must admit that I grew quite fond of you while I was in your care.” Thor smiled, but for the first time it was softer, more serious. “I hope some day we can meet again.”

Bruce stuck out his hand for a handshake and Thor gripped it, but then pulled the smaller man in for another hug, this one a lot gentler than the last.

“You may want to stand back.” Thor suggested after releasing Bruce. He did as the god instructed him to and walked back to where the grass was untouched.

“HEIMDALL!” Thor yelled thunderously, “BRING ME HOME!” Thor stood with his eyes closed, face to the sky. Bruce didn’t know what he expected to happen, but it certainly wasn’t the nothingness Thor’s cry was met with.

A minute passed and Thor cried out again, a tinge of pleading creeping into his voice. Nothing happened that time either.

“Who are you calling for?” Bruce questioned.
“Heimdall. He controls the Bifrost, the portal to the Nine Realms. He’s the only one who can bring me home. HEIMDALL! OPEN THE BIFROST!” One more time Thor’s plea was met with complete and utter silence.

“Is something wrong?” Bruce walked back towards Thor, tentatively.

“It must be Loki. He must be forbidding Heimdall from allowing my return. THAT BASTARD!” Bruce heard the slight rumble of thunder from above.

“Isn’t there another way you can get home?” He felt awful for Thor. Not only had he been held captive and rigorously tested, but now he wasn’t even able to go home.

“No,” He looked down from the sky and into Bruce’s eyes, his own desperate and sorrowful, “I think I’m stuck here.”