Archive of Our Own

“There—there might still be people around,” Tenn says, a complaint without much heart in it. They’re in their dressing room, just after a performance. Anesagi had rushed Ryuu off to another schedule, but Gaku and Tenn are done for the day. Tenn’s skin gleams with sweat from earlier, and Gaku can feel his own heart race with adrenaline. It’s reckless for them to be doing anything here, but aside from Anesagi and Ryuu, nobody’s about to burst into Trigger’s dressing room without so much as a knock.

Gaku kisses him again, and Tenn’s protests melt easily into eager reciprocation. Maybe in a few months they won’t be like teenagers pawing at each other every chance that they get, but with their relationship fresh as it is, Gaku still finds himself constantly thrilled by the knowledge that they’re together, that Tenn, beautiful and radiant, a magnetic force that draws everyone’s helpless attention, is his to touch, to kiss.

Maybe it’s their mutual inexperience—despite his reputation, Gaku hasn’t dated anyone else before. And there’s no question about Tenn, who’s a cactus that’s more quills than plant, maintaining a careful distance with everyone around him (with an exception for Trigger—and for him). So it’s hard to resist temptation, to keep their hands off each other or to part from their kiss as Gaku backs Tenn toward the mirrored wall of the makeup counter.

He hitches Tenn onto the counter, and Tenn grins back at him, hooking a playful leg around Gaku’s body to pull him close. Like this, Gaku’s at a good height to press kisses against Tenn’s neck, feeling him tremble beneath him as Gaku sucks gently at the skin, careful not to leave visible marks.

There’s a sound against the door, and Tenn tenses suddenly. “Wait, hold on—“ he says, pushing Gaku away. “I think I heard something.”

Gaku pulls back, but after a moment of nervous silence in which neither they nor the door move, he says, “It’s probably just someone passing by. Don’t worry about it—“

The door pushes open, and Gaku tries to scrambles away just as Tenn shoves at him, hard. Gaku lands flat on his ass, but he hardly has time to say “ow,” his head whipping to the door to try to assess the damage—

—only to see IDOLiSH7’s damn rabbit poking its head in.

“Myuu?” it asks, bouncing over to him.

Gaku lets out a slow breath. His heart is still racing in his chest from the fear of almost getting caught, but then, suddenly, Tenn bursts out laughing. He hops off the counter to join Gaku on the ground, and picks up the rabbit. He should probably be annoyed at the thing for nearly giving him a heart attack, but watching Tenn smile and cuddle it close, it’s hard to be too annoyed.

“Tenn-nii, let’s—wa-wah!!!” Nanase backs away from the door in surprise. The kid always manages to show up at the worst places at the worst times. This time, he’d somehow managed to barge into Tenn’s hotel room. Sure, they were doing an event together, and IDOLiSH7 and Trigger had conspired together so that Nanase would have more opportunities to talk to his brother, but…

But did he really have to come in when Gaku had Tenn pinned to the bed? They’d been about to head out, really, and then Tenn had said something half-teasing, half-barbed, and Gaku had wrestled Tenn down to the bed. It probably looks worse than it is. With the way Tenn’s hair is fanned out against the sheets, his cheeks flushed from their playfighting, and Gaku kneeling over him, one hand resting on the bed right by his face—

“S-stop bullying Tenn-nii!” Nanase cries out, his face turning a shade of red to rival his hair—not in embarrassment, but in anger.

...That’s right, Nanase is ridiculously sheltered, to the extent where he can look at this scene and think that they’ve been fighting. Nanase is also ridiculously protective of his brother, and small though he is, he looks ready to pull Gaku off the bed himself.

Tenn, quickly assessing the situation, saves Gaku from the threat Nanase poses by kneeing him in the stomach instead. As Gaku doubles over with a pained “Oof!", Tenn nimbly rolls out from under him and goes to comfort his brother.

“It’s okay, Riku,” he says, steadying him with hands on his shoulder. “Gaku’s harmless, we were just playing around.”

“R-really?” Nanase asks, deflating from his fight-or-flight stance. And then, peering around Tenn at Gaku still doubled over—“Is he okay?”

“No,” Gaku protests, while Tenn says over him, “He’s fine.”

After Tenn ushers Nanase out, Gaku drapes himself over Tenn’s shoulders, still clutching at his stomach in mock pain. “I think you’re gonna have to carry me out,” he protests.

“Don’t be a baby,” Tenn says, trying to push Gaku off him, but Gaku just laughs and leans more of his weight onto him, the two of them stumbling a few steps and threatening to topple over onto the floor. Tenn tries to look stern, but he sounds fond when he protests, “You heard Riku. Stop bullying me, you oaf.”

“If anyone’s getting bullied in this relationship, it’s definitely me?” Gaku sighs dramatically, and Tenn rolls his eyes but lets Gaku cling to him on the way to the event.

The IDOLiSH7 kids really are a bad influence, Gaku decides, cradling one last beer as he watches Ryuu and Izumi the elder try to communicate in what might be an Okinawan dialect and might just be gibberish while Osaka turns his head back and forth as if he’s watching a tennis match. Nikaido’s straight up passed out on the table. The minors in IDOLiSH7 had gone to bed maybe half an hour ago, herded away by the younger Izumi, who had gazed indecisively between Nanase, who’d been sighing sadly while Tenn ignored him, and his older brother, who’d been plying the people around him with drinks, and finally decided to do damage control on the one he could manage.

With only the three of them in Trigger, there’s nobody to herd Tenn home, which means that he’s the only minor still hanging out in IDOLiSH7’s living room with the adults. If possible, he’s looking even more sour than usual, quietly nursing a glass of water while watching the adults around him make a mess of themselves. Why isn’t Tenn having a good time? The contents of Gaku’s head slowly swirl around as he tries to think, but trying to get Tenn in a good mood can be hard at the best of times.

At a loss for better ideas, he shuffles over to where Tenn’s seated, and taps his glass of beer against Tenn’s glass of water. “Cheers!”

Tenn rolls his eyes but sips at his water anyway while Gaku finishes off the beer. He leans his head against Tenn’s shoulder after and, indulgently, Tenn reaches over to pet his hair. It feels nice, and Gaku can feel his eyes drifting closed under the relaxing touch.

He opens his eyes a while later when Tenn shrugs his shoulder to wake him. The others are cleaning up, though Nikaido, who’s also just woken, seems to be considering them thoughtfully. Gaku meets his eyes blearily, blinking back at him from where he’s cuddled up against Tenn’s side. But after a while, Nikaido just grins and shrugs and goes to help the others clean.

Ah. Was that? Gaku looks up to Tenn to see what he thinks, but Tenn just yawns and leans his own head against Gaku’s own. Well, if Tenn’s not worried then it’s fine, isn’t it? Besides, Nikaido’s probably too drunk to remember much tomorrow.

Since the beginning, they’ve had to steal rushed moments of secrecy, hidden away from the rest of the world. Tenn used to joke, “Shouldn’t you at least buy me dinner first?”, but of course, they couldn’t really go on dates, not with the eyes of the public and their fans on them. Even if Gaku had been tempted, Tenn was unbending when it came to prioritizing their fans (over Gaku, over himself). They went out to restaurants sometimes, and Tenn even let Gaku accompany him on one of his usually solo amusement park dates sometimes, but if Gaku so much as tried to play footsie under a table, Tenn would immediately draw back.

So it catches Gaku by surprise when Tenn’s fingers brush against his. They’re in Seoul, traveling for their first Asia tour. Gaku had been the one to suggest they go out—take advantage of being in a foreign country, with less people to recognize them, to go on a real date, he’d said—but he still finds his heart racing in pleased surprise when wordlessly, Tenn laces their fingers together.

When he looks over, Tenn’s face is buried in his scarf, but Gaku thinks he can see the pink coloring his cheeks. Cute. Gaku squeezes Tenn’s hand in his own, hiding a smile as they continue their walk along the riverside, just another couple among many.

The next day, there’s a blurry photo of the two of them from behind in the online rumor sites. Tenn rests his chin on Gaku’s shoulder to look at the phone screen. TRIGGER GAKU’S SECRET GIRLFRIEND IN SEOUL? the headline says.

“Your visuals really are too striking,” Tenn says.

There’s no real need to be too worried—the photo’s from far away, with neither of their faces showing. Probably the photographer didn’t even know it was Gaku, had only seen the height and silver hair and took a wild shot for the sake of popularity. Tenn’s hair isn’t showing, hidden beneath a warm winter hat. Yaotome Pro’s PR team will make easy work of it.

But Tenn sounds regretful, and he can’t meet Gaku’s eyes. Even though he tries to hide his emotions, he’s so easy to read—he thinks he’s made a mistake. Gaku wraps him up in a hug, which Tenn squirms against briefly before relaxing into. "Aren’t your visuals too plain?” he teases, “They couldn’t even tell you were a guy.”

“Do you think I look plain?” Tenn asks, frowning up at him.

“Don’t fish for compliments, it’s not a good look,” Gaku chides, but he kisses Tenn on the forehead anyway. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve met."

Why does Tenn always have to push himself to the point of breaking? Stupid, stubborn Tenn who’d once again insisted on performing to the end despite the fever he was running. He’d tried to put up a brave front but had reluctantly accepted Gaku’s support to limp off the stage—reluctant even then for fear of letting his fans see him in pain.

“I’m sorry,” Tenn mutters to the ground as Gaku supports most of his weight, guiding him toward their waiting room. Ryuu had run ahead to fetch Tenn’s medicine, though Gaku has a feeling Tenn might already be a little loopy on painkillers and exhaustion because he stares wide-eyed and unusually honest back at Gaku and says, “I’m sorry to cause so much trouble. For you and Ryuu.”

“Idiot,” Gaku grumbles back. “If you’re sorry, then stop pushing yourself so hard. We can cover for you for a day, you know?”

“Yeah,” Tenn says, and his steps waver slightly, startling Gaku into grabbing at him to make sure he doesn’t fall. “Thanks,” he says, smiling exhaustedly up at Gaku. “For always being there for me, you know. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now,” Gaku complains. It’s sweet and all, but Gaku would rather Tenn weren’t high on pain meds to say it, didn’t have to push himself to this point before he could allow himself to rely on Gaku.

Tenn gazes back at him silently for a moment longer, then seems to muster his strength to lean upward. Gaku’s totally caught off guard when Tenn kisses him in the middle of the backstage hallways. He should probably be concerned about Tenn passing on his fever, or the very likely possibility of someone passing by.

But he cradles Tenn by his side and kisses him back. When he pulls back a moment later, Tenn smiles at him, before he rests his head against Gaku’s shoulder and promptly passes out.

“Is he alright?” someone asks, and Gaku nearly jumps out of his skin. Re:Vale are emerging from a nearby doorway—their dressing room? Momo ducks down to peer at Tenn’s face while Yuki’s watching him curiously, waiting for a reply.

Had they... had they seen anything? But Yuki just has his usual enigmatic smile on his face as he looks at the two of them, giving nothing away.

“He’ll be alright,” Gaku sighs, forcing himself to relax. “He’s pushed himself too hard again, but he always recovers eventually.”

“That’s not good, he should take better care of himself,” Yuki chides. “I take work off if I get anything less than eight hours of sleep.”

“Do… do you really?!” Gaku asks.

“Don’t tease our kouhai like that, Yuki, you’ll get them in trouble!” Momo laughs.

“Sorry, I was only teasing,” Yuki apologizes to Gaku obediently. “I hope Tenn will learn to take it a little easier, though. It’s good that he has teammates like you to care for him.”

At this point, Gaku is less concerned about how Ryuu will react to their relationship than how he’ll react to the fact that they hadn’t told him earlier. There was no question that he would’ve been on their side from the start, but when their relationship was new, it’d felt like something fragile, not to be handled too much for fear of breaking. And there was no point stirring up drama if it wasn’t going to last. And then after that... after that, maybe it was just inertia?

Gaku’s the one that brings it up, which gives Tenn an excuse to smile and say slyly, “So you break the news, then.”

Which leaves the three of them sitting in the privacy of the Kujou family’s dining table, Ryuu looking at them wide-eyed while Gaku tries not to look too tense and Tenn considers the wall to his left.

“What did you guys have to tell me?” Ryuu asks nervously. “Are...are you guys fighting again? Let’s not make any hasty decisions...”

Gaku cuts him off, before he has the chance to draw any faulty conclusions about the hypothetical breakup of Trigger or something like that. Do the fights between the two of them really get that bad? “Actually, we’re—that is—we, uh...”

Now that it comes down to it, the words stick in his throat. Why is he this flustered? Out of the corner of his eye, he sees movement beside him—Tenn, probably, getting impatient with him—

Before he realizes what’s happening, Tenn tugs him down by his shirt and cuts off his bumbling words by kissing him. It’s chaste, just lips against lips, but this time Gaku’s mind really does go blank. W-what?

Tenn looks smug when he pulls away, and turns back to Ryuu, who’s openly gawking at the two of them. “Was that—what...?” he asks, rendered equally speechless.

“I wanted him to shut up,” Tenn explains.

Ryuu blinks back at them. “...o-oh. Really?”

Tenn casts a sideways look at Gaku in exasperation, but doesn’t bother explaining further. So it’s on him, then. Slowly, Gaku’s regained his wits, and he scowls at Tenn for the unhelpful explanation before turning back to Ryuu.

“No, uh... actually, we’re dating,” Gaku tells him.

Ryuu stares back at them for a moment longer, before breaking into a smile. “Really? No way! Congrats, you guys, I’m happy for you.”

And maybe it’s an expected result, but Gaku still finds himself smiling helplessly back. It feels good to share the secret, to lace fingers with Tenn openly.

“Thanks, Ryuu,” Tenn is saying, and he’s smiling too, tentative and small but genuine. And then it turns into a grin—“That’s one less person for you to worry about blowing our cover in front of, isn’t it, Gaku?”

As if Tenn weren’t equally culpable. Gaku scoffs at Tenn, but it’s true, it’s a relief. Maybe one day they’ll tell the world—maybe one day Gaku will kiss Tenn on stage with their fans cheering them on, but today... today he’s had happy to share this secret between the three of them.