cryptid_cat
Recent bookmarks
-
mint juleps and other ways to bond with your boyfriend's boyfriend by spoondrifts for MooMooofDoom
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
16 May 2025
Tags
Summary
Exasperated, Val set the mint plant down with a dull thunk of terracotta. Alastor’s eyes darted to it covetously, but he didn’t move. “Having shared custody of that prick over there makes us in-laws or something, I don’t know. And I can be nice. Look at me, trying so hard to be nice, and you’re hurting my feelings.” As he spoke, he dangled the trowel from one limp wrist like a faggot.
“Your feelings,” Alastor said dubiously.
“Yes, my feelings, because unlike some other macho cabrónes in this room, I’m in touch with my inner joy and whimsy.”
“Good lord. Give me the fucking spade.”
Or: Alastor and Valentino bond over shared hobbies, Vox is an iPad baby, and maybe there's something to this "relationship" thing after all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,565
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 32
- Kudos:
- 199
- Bookmarks:
- 64
- Hits:
- 1,037
Bookmarked by cryptid_cat
27 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
“I knew you were a hard worker, but this is truly untenable,” Alastor exclaimed, scooping up her detached arm and dangling it midair with wide-eyed fascination. “Why, you’re going to pieces!”
Or: Velvette and Alastor take "doll-like" to the next level, and no bonding moments are had.
Bookmarked by cryptid_cat
27 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
“We missed you, you big baby,” she says, and Alastor laughs wetly, muffled. “You got a lot of explaining to do, but hell, you’re still one of us.”
“Frankly,” Vox says, “if you actually tried to leave, I would lock you up in the basement.”
Valentino sighs affectionately, squeezing Alastor’s hand. “He doesn’t mean that.”
“I very much mean that.”
Alastor wants to say something along the lines of “I would be offended by anything less,” but when he tries to speak, all that comes out, horrifyingly, is a crackly sob. But it just makes Vox’s arms tighten around him, so, whatever. There are worse things.
Or: In a softer timeline, Alastor comes home to the Vees when his seven year sabbatical is up.
Bookmarked by cryptid_cat
27 Nov 2025
-
The Definition of Insanity (Results May Vary) by MothballMilkshake
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
20 Feb 2025
Tags
Summary
Lucifer had always sworn he'd hang himself before he got married again.
It wasn't exactly that his marriage to Lilith had been bad. There had been ups and downs, good times and bad – and really, the divorce didn't even involve that much paperwork.
When you pretty much were the law, all you needed to do was declare something – and it would be true.
No, the main reason he'd never considered it was because... because it would have meant he'd found a person he could see spending centuries with, who he was willing to open up his heart to and hope they wouldn't end up dropping it, letting it shatter on the tiles.
Seriously – whoever would have thought that he'd – he'd end up falling in love with a sinner?
Again?
(Or; Five times Alastor said no and one time he didn't)
Series
- Part 1 of RadioApple Shorter Form Multichapter
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,238
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 129
- Kudos:
- 663
- Bookmarks:
- 119
- Hits:
- 8,809
Bookmarked by cryptid_cat
25 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
There are a few things that Alastor can say are true: Hell is forever. Television was a terrible mistake. He should be dead.
That he is not dead is a source of some small ongoing difficulty. But if this is what Alastor has to work with, he’ll find a way.
Or, in this particular case, a way will find him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,292
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 135
- Kudos:
- 2,086
- Bookmarks:
- 473
- Hits:
- 16,608
Bookmarked by cryptid_cat
22 Nov 2025