Chapter Text
She's a small kid, sitting huddled in the corner of a videogame store twenty minutes from the house of a client who's giving him more trouble than he's worth. It's snowing a lot more than the weatherwoman announced in the morning news and from the small layer of snow covering her hair to the thin coat she’s wearing, nothing about the girl makes her look appropriately dressed for the cold.
Joel moves despite himself. She looks at him with something he is very familiar with – the internal struggle between running or fighting, because standing where you are may as well be a death sentence.
"I won’t hurt you,” he promises, offering his hand as a gesture of peace. She doesn’t take it. “Where are your parents?”
She turns her head left and right. No. No to what? Joel lays a hand on her shoulder and she recoils, stumbling on her feet to get away from him. She takes four steps before falling with a short scream and his stomach churns at the smear of blood under her chin, how she trembles and cradles herself, trying to shield her body from something he can’t see.
"What– kid, what happened?"
She shakes her head again. He wonders how long she’s been like this, in the open cold and hurting. Some part of him must miss being a father, for him to feel broken like this. He doesn’t know this girl, why is he even –
The medical staff and the woman she asked for – Marlene – insist she’s going to be fine. After everything is said and done, after he’s thanked over a thousand times, he stays. The room she’s in is white, smells of medicine, and has nothing but a bed, an uncomfortable chair, and a TV that goes off air more often than not. Still, he stays.
Over the course of two days, Joel learns a lot of things. Ellie is fourteen. She loves comics. Her favorite color is blue. Her least favorite, yellow. If she had a cat – no, she wouldn’t have a cat, because they make her sneeze. But if, if she had a dog, she would name him Milo.
She almost killed a man who tried to hurt her.
Good.
Marlene comes in when she’s sleeping, the mud of her boots leaving stains on the pristine floor. He remembers her, her with Tess, sharing the glory of a successful deal. How naïve of him to think he would never see her again. She sits on the corner of the bed, resting her gaze on Ellie’s face with equal precision and detachment.
“Always giving me trouble,” she puts a lock of hair behind her ear. “How long are you gonna keep doing this?”
On the third day, he overhears an argument between the two of them.
“Fuck you,” comes Ellie’s voice, raised just on the right range to attract anyone who passes by her room, including him. “You wanted to get rid of me since day one!”
“Your mother, she –”
“Fuck her too! She left me, and you’re leaving me,” her tone turns monotone and full of emotion all over again, threatening to spill with every word. “That’s all any of you ever do.”
“I’m not leaving you. I'll visit.”
"You won't," Ellie gives a lopsided smile, shaking her head in disbelief. "You won't even tell me where you're going.”
Their words blend with the sound of the footsteps of the medical staff and the coffee is turning cold in his hands.
It’s not his place, to hear this.
The next day, Marlene sits on the hood of her car. She turns towards him when he approaches, her posture almost soldier-like.
“Take her with you.”
Joel almost laughs in her face, but like a miracle, he doesn’t. Instead, he furrows his brows and makes vague gestures with his hands. “You can’t expect me to – she barely knows me.”
“I know you. Ellie will have to deal with it.”
Marlene clicks her tongue when a smothering silence follows her statement.
“Tomorrow morning.”
He lightly tilts his head towards her voice.
“She’ll be discharged. And she’ll either go with you or be out in the streets. Your choice.”
Ellie doesn’t protest, doesn’t swear at him, doesn’t do anything that implies a streak of bad behavior like Marlene claimed. He can’t, in good conscience, leave her alone to her own devices. The world can be cruel. He doesn’t need to tell her that.
She’s quiet on the backseat of his car, disentangling her earphones and looking everywhere but at him. Joel can tell how tense she is, and he’s sure that if she were in a better condition, she would throw herself out of the car and run miles after miles. Marlene already gave him a fairly huge financial aid for his trouble and the only thing stopping him from dropping it on Ellie’s hands is that he doesn’t trust her to hop into a bus to never be seen again.
He didn’t ask for this. Neither of them did. If anyone can be blamed, it’s Marlene and her unfair choices.
Ellie’s got little to show off. All she’s got is a rundown backpack, some clothes, a switchblade he wishes he’d never seen, and three or four comic books. On the way, he lets her buy whatever she wants, but her shopping spree doesn’t turn out as he expected – she gets what she absolutely needs, and only that.
“Like it matters what I want,” she says when he points it out. “Piss off.”
He calls Tommy later that night. It’s the worst idea he’s had in ages, and he brought a kid he doesn’t know home.
As it turns out, she’s an amazing student. Ellie catches up with her peers with an alarming speed, and other than the occasional fight and swearing, she doesn’t give him much trouble. For that, Joel is immensely grateful for. She helps a lot in the house, clumsy as she is, and she's taken to his old guitar like a fish to water. He comes home one day to see her sprawled on the couch, watching a video on how to play guitar, and immediately offers to teach it to her himself.
This, maybe, he can do right.
Sometimes, she brings home things she doesn't own, deeming him too oblivious to notice it. Ellie never steals anything expensive – her explanation being I'm not that dumb, Joel. Still, her habit is one hard to break, and it irks Joel enough for him to have a serious talk with her, the first of many. The less involved he is in problems that don’t belong to him, the better. But what use is it, when he’s already that deep in the mud, he wonders.
They’re on a trip to Tommy’s house in the middle of fucking nowhere, and Ellie doesn’t stay put for more than two minutes.
"You know what, old man. Your music taste isn't bad at all."
"I told you,” he scoffs and half drives, half throws a blanket at Ellie. “You’re gonna get a cold if you keep your window open like this.”
He pushes her hand away when she flips him the finger, warning her to not do that in front of Tommy’s wife unless she wants to get them thrown out of the house. Ellie lets out a loud, shaking laugh as she busies himself with her new phone. Not too long after she decides she absolutely has to go to the bathroom and takes her damn sweet time in a gas station before disappearing in a convenience store.
Ellie boasts about how good she is at driving when Joel complains about his back killing him, and that’s when Joel understands why exactly she brought him his favorite chocolate bar.
"You're grounded for the rest of the year."
He speaks as soon as Ellie opens her mouth to argue. "Scratch that. You're grounded forever.”
There's a picture of a girl in his wallet. It's not the first time Ellie has seen a picture of her, with her blonde hair and blue eyes, both an angel and a ghost. The door to the living room opens just slightly and before she can pretend she’s never, ever stuck her nose where she wasn’t supposed to, Joel walks towards her in long, forceful steps.
He tells her to leave.
Ellie doesn’t get too far before he brings her into a hug so strong she feels it in her bones.
caveman dad [16:01] Bring;cv. Milk
ellie [16:03] what the fuck
old man learn to type
Joel’s seen her clinging to a yellowed piece of paper like it’s a heaven-sent gift. When she went on her first day of school – a school Marlene handpicked for her— his curiosity won over. Her mother’s handwriting is messy at best, and she writes with the clumsiness and love of a new parent. He was in her place, a long time ago. It must mean the world to Ellie, to hold the proof that she was held and loved, even for a short while.
When Marlene comes back, she knows exactly where to strike.
Ellie’s hands shake with rage and disbelief and he knows.
He feels it, too.
Four months later, she comes home one day with a puppy under her arm. It was raining, she argues. He's just a baby. They settle on letting the dog stay for one fucking night, then Joel will bring him to a shelter and that's the last thing they'll ever see of the small creature with a tail that never seems to stop wagging.
She protests, of course. Joel meets her voice with equal stubbornness, because he does not want white fur all over his new couch, he's busy enough as it is, and Ellie isn't exactly the paragon of responsibility.
"I'll take of him, I promise!"
"Girl, you forget to tie your own shoelaces. You really think you can take care of a dog?"
She promises to be good, so good - she'll bathe him, and take him to walks, and train him to not pee on the carpet and she'll be so so so responsible, Joel, please –
The damn dog stays.
caveman dad [09:26] Was ,that your girlfriend.
ellie [9:26] who
caveman dad [09:28] You know who.
ellie [10:01] we're just friends
caveman dad [10:48] Friends do,nt k iss
ellie [12:54] fuck
we need to talk joel
caveman dad [12:57] ELLlie you literal ly have a pride flag
On your. Room