Chapter Text
It had been over an hour since they turned off the interstate. The truck jostled and bumped along the windy narrow road and Korra tried not to think about all the dirt and rocks kicking up into the undercarriage.
She had begged Mako to let them take his car instead, but he argued they could never fit all the equipment into his small black four-door. He was right, of course, but Korra still wished they had at least tried.
Her truck was over fifteen years old and at the point where getting it to start without fuss was small miracle. She was worried about it making a trip this long, but Asami told her she would take her toolkit just in case something happened.
‘you mean when something happens’ Korra had told her.
It was when they hit a particularly nasty pothole and they worrying scrape that followed that she secretly decided that her next car was going to be Smart Car. See if her friends could rope her into helping them move with that.
“Don’t worry, its metal. It can handle it.” Asami said from the passenger seat, not looking up from her book.
Korra didn’t know how Asami could be reading right now. Korra couldn’t even look at her phone for more than a couple minutes without getting queasy.
“But I can always take a look, just in case.” She added.
“Just don’t try and guilt me into replacing your pipes, I know the difference between rock dents and rust rot.” She looked up this time, smiling hesitantly at Korra.
Korra felt a wave of guilt wash over her; she had been nothing but short with Asami all day. Honestly, she had no idea how to act around her.
A drunken kiss at the train station would do that. She tried, she tried to act like it was no big deal, but it was hard to maintain any semblance of normalcy around her after she knew what it felt like to kiss her. Especially after Asami hadn’t even acknowledged that it happened.
“Thanks.” It sounded cold and clipped and she knew it was going to hurt.
From the corner of her eye she could see the look of hurt cross Asami’s face. But she didn’t say anything more, and returned to her book. Korra’s heart sank; it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Honestly, she had of ditching the trip all together—coming up with some excuse or another-- but she knew it would look to much like ditching skipping school after a rejected confession. Asami was acting like it was no big deal, and it was imperative that Korra do the same, or it could mean the end of their friendship. Something Korra was determined to keep from happening. The kiss wasn’t a big deal and she was going to treat it that way.
She spared a glance at Asami, sitting quietly, her hair tied up and brushed over one of her shoulders; the afternoon sun giving her a warm, inviting glow and suddenly all Korra could think about kissing her again and that now, (after weeks of repressed wondering), she knew how soft Asami felt against her; how she tasted like that ‘delicate rose’ lip gloss she used,(flowers can taste good, Korra, she had laughed), and how it felt to have Asami’s hands run up and down her back and oh god she was thinking about it again, stop, stop—
“Alright! Just a little longer and it’s vacation time! and the great outdoors!” Bolin interrupted her thoughts (thank God), poking his head between the seats. He and Mako had clearly sensed something was up and had been talking more than usual to try and fill the silences.
“How you feeling Korra? Pumped? Amped? Totally ready?” Bolin was drumming on Korra’s shoulders, as though he could vibrate her out of her mood. Korra felt another wave of guilt, he was trying so hard and Korra owed it to him to try too. They had been planning this for months, it as their vacation too, Korra’s emotional whirlwind would have to wait.
“Totally ready.” She nodded. Trying to sound light.
“I can’t wait to eat my weight in hot dogs.” He sighed wistfully.
“Please don’t. I have been looking forward to the fresh air all week and I don’t want it to be ruined by sharing a tent with two hundred pounds of hot dog gas.” Mako shot back. A glance in the rearview revealed a cross armed and very serious glare aimed at Bolin.
“We can water it down with s’mores.” Korra laughed. The bickering brothers always managed to help lighten things up.
Bolin froze.
Asami looked up from her book, “Bolin…?” she asked, tentative.
“Tell me you didn’t forget the s’mores.” Mako piped up from the backseat.
“Uhh...”
“Bolin! You’ve got to be kidding me! You had a list!”
“Well I didn’t see it!” Bolin whipped his head around to face Mako.
“I put it on the fridge!” Mako exclaimed, anger rising.
Bolin was a person of boundless energy, fun, and always ready for adventure. Korra adored that about him, but she had to admit that his limitless enthusiasm often made him skip the details. Like packing. Or remembering to leave the house with his shoes.
“Ok boys. Just relax. We can just go to the store and pick some up. No harm done.” Asami cut in, attempting to diffuse was heading for a full blown-fight.
Bolin gave her a hesitant glance, and she patted Bolin on the arm.
“Sure, yeah. I can just go and—"
“I’ll go.” Korra interrupted, a little too fast.
There was a beat of silence before Mako spoke up “You don’t have to Korra. Bolin was the one who forgot- he should be the one to get them.”
“Yeah Korra, its ok. I’ll go.” Bolin agreed.
“Its fine, Bolin, I want to.” She tried to keep the bite out of her voice.
She tried.
Asami looked stricken. It was becoming clear that Asami was starting to figure out that Korra’s mood had something to do with her and Korra needed to fix it.
What she needed was a moment to collect herself-- to be alone. This was a good chance.
“I need to get some stuff too. It’s no problem.” She amended, hoping it would ease the rising tension.
“Ill go with you then!” Bolin slapped her on the shoulder, “the more hands the better, right?”
She swallowed a sigh. There went her moment of peace.
“Right. Thanks Bolin.”
Korra had left Mako and Asami at the campsite and backtracked to a small store they had passed along the way. The ride was mostly silent, save for the staticky radio station and Bolin’s occasional humming.
Korra ambled around the store, trying to buy time enough for her deep breathing exercises. Bolin had left her alone, save for the occasional ‘this one, this one, or both?’ questions. She forgot how intuitive he could be. She would have to thank him later. Or maybe just buy him that fancy beer he liked.
They returned to the car with arms full of guilt-fueled over purchasing. Korra had even bought an extra cooler, hoping it would seem like she actually needed to make the trip instead of using it as an excuse to get away from Asami. They already had four, so the odds were not great.
The campsite mostly set up by the time they got back. Logs arranged in a perfect tripod, along with a makeshift grate cleverly engineered with rocks, some twisted hangers, and and bamboo twine for whatever food didn’t fit on a stick.
Sometimes Korra forgot how resourceful Asami was. Perfect hair and glossy lips notwithstanding, she was a brilliant engineer—abel to gave any one of the seasoned engineers at Sato Industries a run for their money.
Korra felt a swell of pride watching her squatting by one of the two tents, fiddling with a joint rod.
Korra froze. She had forgotten she and Asami were sharing a tent.
Panic rising, she scrambled to think of a convincing lie that would allow her to switch with one of the boys but was interrupted when Asami swiveled, reaching for a tool, and caught her eyes.
She felt her face heat up, it was obvious Korra had been staring. Asami studied her for a moment, face blank, before snagging a tool and returning to her task without a word.
Korra felt a cold spike through her chest. If she couldn’t get her act together she might end up losing Asami anyways.
She dropped the box of snacks on the picnic table, letting out a heavy sigh.
“That’s a lot of stuff.” Mako said from behind her.
“Heck yea it is!” Bolin yelled back, slamming the door to the truck, the last of the bags in hand, “Tonight, we feast like kings!”
“Ahem.”
“Erm. And queens. Sorry, Asami.” He added sheepishly.
“See that it doesn’t happen again, Sir Bolin.” She said in mock seriousness, not looking up from where was now packing up the tool bag.
Korra let out a poorly stifled laugh, trying to ignore the way Asami’s eyes snapped to her at the sound.
Mako let out a tired breath plopped down in one of the folding chairs set around the tri-pod of firewood, opening a bag of trail mix.
Korra moved to sit in the chair next to him, starting in on a bag of her own chips.
“Starting in already?” Korra teased.
“We’ve been driving all day—”
“Eh, more like three hours.” She corrected.
He fixed her with a withering look.
“Okay, three hours. But I’m starving. Besides you’re one to talk.” He gestured to Korra, her hands buried in a bag of chips, chewing loudly.
She stuck out her tongue, food bits and all.
“Gross!”
A sultry, teasing voice came from behind them, “Korra talking with her mouth full again?” Asami asked, resting her hand on the back of Mako’s chair.
“I swear she were raised by wolves.” Mako sighed.
“Wouldn’t be surprised.” She agreed, an accusing tone to her voice. Its not like she didn’t have it coming, but it still hurt.
Mako chuckled. If he noticed her tone, he didn’t let on.
Asami glanced at Korra before leaning over Mako and reaching for the trail mix but instead of picking it up, she slid her hand right into bag resting on Mako’s lap.
Asami didn’t seem to notice his furious blush, as she popped some into her mouth, meeting Korra’s eyes with a nonchalance that made Korra’s stomach tighten.
She definitely did that on purpose.
“I wasn’t raised by wolves, Mako. I was raised by polar bear dogs.” Korra corrected, determined to ignore whatever come-on Asami was trying to throw at her.
“Just the one actually.” Bolin piped up from his spot organizing the food into ‘sweet, sour, salty and orgasmic’ categories. Apparently ‘umami’ sounded too pretentious.
“Just the one, huh? Well, no wonder she’s like that-- it does take a village, after all.” Asami teased. Her tone was light, but Korra felt the jab underneath it as though she had slapped her. Korra swallowed. She going to lose her friend.
Asami snatched the bag from Mako’s lap and sat gingerly in the chair opposite Korra. Mako, probably still a little stunned by Asami’s earlier boldness, didn’t offer any protest.
Korra huffed. She wanted to say something about being raised by money but she swallowed it. It was petty and mean, and Asami didn’t deserve it. She felt guilty for even considering it, but seeing Asami’s hand in Mako’s lap reminded her that she and Mako used to date, and that maybe they used to touch each other like that, in places like that, and it soured something in her.
The sun was setting. It would be dark soon and despite the tightness in Korra’s chest, she was excited to get the fire lit and start eating.
Outdoor adventures were fun, but hanging around the campfire was easily her favorite part. The soothing sounds of crackling wood; staring in the fire, watching the sparks float lazily up and disappear against the night sky. Sometimes it made her homesick, but even so, there wasn’t anything better.
She moved to start the fire, but Mako stopped her.
“I got this.” He said in his ‘officer Mako’ tone. It was supposed to sound confident and professional, but he was so new to the job that it didn’t come off as natural quite yet. Anyone that didn’t know him would never notice—with his cut jaw and squared shoulders he had an air of natural authority-- but to Korra, he sounded a little funny, like a kid trying on his big-boy pants.
Korra was just about to poke fun at him but Bolin beat her to it.
“Hurr, hurr, me Mako. Me do fire.” Bolin said, plopping down in the seat next to Korra with a mischievous smile.
Mako scowled, “Shut up Bolin. You can’t even light a match—I always have to do it for you.”
“I don’t want to burn my delicate hands.” Bolin pursed his lips and mimed taking a delicate sip of an invisible tea cup.
“You’re just mad that you have to light up all the candles on Bolin’s date nights.” Asami chided.
Korra snorted. “Totally!” she agreed, “and you don’t even get to stay in the apartment.” Without thinking she looked over to Asami, they were always a tag team when it came to Mako. Old habits die hard.
Instead of a cold glare or unamused frown she was expecting, she was met with the same secretive smile they always shared.
Korra let out a breath, tension draining with the exhale.
That knowing, secretive smile had always been Korra’s and Korra’s alone. She was sure of it, and whenever she saw it, she felt her heart swell close to bursting. To know that Asami, beautiful and daring Asami, had something that was meant for her, and only her, made her feel this strange and rushing relief. That no matter how far Asami may drift from her, there was always a corner of her love reserved just for Korra.
Well that, and knowing that maybe Korra hadn’t totally blown it helped to put a tiny patch over the crack that had been forming in her heart the past few hours.
“Whatever.” He huffed.
Korra timidly returned Asami’s smile, and with the way Asami’s face softened, Korra knew that maybe she could salvage this weekend.
Mako started up the fire, steadfastly ignoring the teasing looks everyone was giving him. While they waited for the flames to grow, Bolin grabbed a couple boxes, filled to the brims with food.
“What first, hot dogs or beans?” He asked, rubbing his hands excitedly.
“I’m not eating canned beans.” Asami replied flatly.
“What, why did you even bother to make that—that thing?” he pointed to the grill like contraption the base of the fire that had caught Korra’s attention earlier. She could see the wire hangers had been cut and twisted, no doubt with the help of Asami’s Swiss Army knife that she always carried with her. Along with her near Smithsonian sized collection of beauty products.
Korra had discovered it when she cut her hand on it reaching into Asami’s purse when she asked Korra to grab her that fancy rose lip gloss for her.
The fancy lip gloss that she now knew the taste of.
“For you.” Asami said simply.
It was a weird feeling. Getting wet because of a thoughtful gesture.
Asami remembering that Bolin liked canned beans, and brining materials with the intention of building something for him to cook them on, all while not even liking them herself, made Korra embarrassingly wet.
Korra held back a groan, because that was Asami. She had everything, brains, beauty and wealth- she could be arrogant, she could be cruel, but she wasn’t. She was sweet, and kind, and endlessly thoughtful.
She was the kind of person that made an extra trip to the store, grab Korra’s favorite chips, and sneak them into the movie, surprising Korra by pulling them out right before the previews, a triumphant smile on her face.
One time, she surprised Korra with tickets to see a band she didn’t ever remember even mentioning to Asami.
‘I didn’t even know they were still touring!’ Korra squealed, grabbing Asami’s arm and jumping around her unable to contain her energy.
“They aren’t. Its just a reunion show.” Asami had said, looking more than a little pleased.
“How did you even know?” Korra asked. She knew she probably looked like she had when her parents had finally gotten her that Nintendo 64 for her birthday. Wide-eyed, and probably a little but worshipful, but she couldn’t help it.
“Just happened upon it when I was looking for something to do this weekend.” She shrugged.
“Have I told you that I love you?”
Asami snaked an arm around Korra’s waist and led her through the doors. “you could mention it more.”
Months later, Korra had discovered that Asami didn’t even like the band, but she had researched the band, and even paid for the tickets. Just to make her happy.
To hell with lighters. They could have used Bolin’s blush to start the campfire instead.
He sputtered for a moment before leaning over his chair to bury his face in Asami’s shoulder, mumbling a very bashful thanks into her jacket. She replied with a very warm, and very affectionate “Of course.”
unaware that her thoughtfulness was reducing her friends to sputtering blobs of affectionate putty.
‘Affection’ probably wasn’t a strong enough word for what Korra was feeling, but she couldn’t afford to think about that now.
Bolin busied himself with the can of beans, fumbling with it while trying to hide his blush (no one was ever immune to Asami’s thoughtfulness, no matter how many years they had known her).
Asami watched Bolin struggle with the wrong side of the can opener, making a dangerous mess of sharp edges and twisted metal before gently taking the can from his hands and peeled it open. Handing it back to him with an affectionate pat on the arm.
Her hair was out of her ponytail, hanging loosely around her shoulders. Her black jacket with a sweatshirt hood was so different than the professional pencil skirts, and sharp, fashionable coats Korra usually saw her in. She looked young, and soft, and achingly pretty.
She caught Korra’s stare with a curious tilt of her head, and before Korra could try and play it off she gave a small wave, hand barely leaving her lap before turning back to watch Bolin adjust the can of beans reverently on the makeshift grill.
Affection is definitely not a strong enough word.
The warmth of the night made the scent of sweet eucalyptus and damp grass (nights always smelled damp in the summer, didn’t they?) come alive. Korra inhaled deeply and was brought back to her childhood and the summer nights in Alaska.
Only here, instead of the clean scent of Denali Pines, it was of Eucalyptus and the mighty sycamores of the Pacific Northwest; heavier, sweeter.
It reminded her that she was somewhere else. Somewhere far from home. She looked up at the patches of night sky visible through the trees and felt small. There was a burst of laughter from her friends. She felt small and so, so warm.
There was no place she would rather be.
Conversation flowed easily, voices made soft by the fire. Mako talked about being stuck on desk duty this week, and Asami talked about a senior engineer that was impossible to work with. Bolin had finished the can of beans nauseatingly fast, and was moving on to s’mores.
“He won’t hear any kind of input on his designs,” Asami groaned, “ever since the team decided to go with my design he’s had it out for me.”
Bolin nodded intently, urging her on.
Asami threw her hands in the hair, “And you know what else? On Monday he was hanging all over me while I was resistance testing, you know? And would get this self-satisfied look on his face every time I had to make adjustments. Like he was waiting for something to go wrong—like he wanted something to go wrong.”
Asami sank, head in her hands, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“How could anyone wish failure on someone else?” She added, quietly.
“He sounds like the worst.” Bolin said, licking his fingers of marshmallow goo.
“You usually don’t let this stuff get to you, you’ve worked with him before, right? What’s changed?” Mako asked. His s’more was perched perfectly on his knee, wrapped in a napkin to cool down before he ate it, careful to keep any melted chocolate or marshmallow from getting on his clothes.
Asami sighed “I used to work with him when my dad was supervising the team—but ever since he left me in charge, it’s just been one roadblock after another.”
“Are they jealous that you’re Hiroshi’s daughter maybe?” Bolin ventured, his voice uncertain. He didn’t want to overstep, Korra knew, but there was a good chance it held some truth to it.
She smiled ruefully. “Being the owner’s daughter probably doesn’t help.”
Asami worked hard, often late into the nights, and it was a side of her Korra wished more people saw. Being the daughter of Hiroshi Sato was the reason she was able to be there, but it was her brilliance and work ethic that kept here there.
Korra’s eyes darkened.
“It would be different if she were his son. Guaranteed.” she spat.
Asami had been in the R&D wing for two years now, and had been fighting hard to get her designs sent to production only to have them shot down time and time again.
There was a beat of silence, she met Asami’s eyes across the fire “You work hard, Asami. Your designs are good. He’s just jealous.”
“Thanks.” Asami dipped her head, suddenly bashful. Korra heats up at the glimpse of Asami’s small smile obscured by the curtain of her hair. Her long, pretty hair that smelled like jasmine and coconuts.
Bashful Asami was a sort of new development, honestly Korra didn’t know where it came from, but she did know that she really liked it. It made Korra want to take her into her arms and squeeze her and tell her she deserves the world.
“Men are the worst.” Bolin sighs.
Korra loves Bolin.
“Not all of them.” Korra says, throwing Bolin a grateful smile. He had proud smile and chocolate all over his face and his earnest kindness made Korra want to squeeze him too.
“Yeah, not Bolin.” Asami adds, patting him on the arm and shooting Mako a pointed look. She and Bolin are sitting so close they are sharing an armrest, and Bolin leans into her shoulders, crossing his arms, mirroring Asami’s pose.
“Yeah, not me.” He agrees, eying Mako suspiciously.
“Hey!” Mako pipes, furrowing his brows.
His eyebrows are thick and sharp, and when Korra first met him, she thought they made him look handsome and roguish. Now, after knowing him for several years, she thinks they sort of make him look like an annoyed badger-- and it makes it a little harder to take him seriously.
“I guess you’re okay too.” Korra laughs, rubbing his shoulder vigorously. Sometimes Mako made it too easy.
He pouted, crossing his arms keeping his eyes trained on the ground.
“Not really.” He mumbled.
Maybe this time she went a little to far. She loved him and sometimes (sometimes!) he deserved to be reminded that.
She pouted back at him, drawing his chin up to look her in eyes.
“You’re one of the best people I know and I love and appreciate you. Even if you suck at pool.”
Mako narrowed his eyes. She kissed him on the cheek and scratched behind his ears. It was a joke, but she knew he liked it. She had been surprised to find out how similar he was to a cat, standoffish at times, and clingy at others, (well, maybe not too surprised).
Sometimes dating your friends (awkward as it was), had it’s perks. Like learning their secret ‘fine-I-forgive-you’ buttons.
“All better?” she cooed.
He relented almost immediately.
“How can I possibly refuse such a glowing review.” Mako rolled his eyes, but shot Korra one of his rare, wide smiles before tucking into his s’more.
Works every time.
Korra feels Asami’s eyes on her and there is a strange look on her face. Something edged, and a little dark, but Korra blinked and it was gone. She must have imagined it.
The night wore on, they gorged themselves on sweets and hot dogs and Korra knew she would have to work it all off tomorrow if she had any hope of keeping herself in shape for her Jiu Jitsu match next month. Asami had convinced her to take a break from boxing-- I don’t want you to mess up your cute nose by breaking it too much--and really, what could Korra do but fumble, and blush, and tell her she’d think about it.
She joined a new gym the next day.
It was nearing midnight when they decided to turn in. Brushing their teeth by the spigot and promising an early start for tomorrow’s hike. Asami had gone to the showers because she hated having smoke in her hair, it just makes it feel greasy, ok? – and Korra was alone in the tent. Trying desperately to forget that she had kissed Asami three days ago and was now going to be laying next to her.
Alone. In the dark.
Korra gulped. She was determined keep it from being awkward. She and Asami were friends, and sometimes friends kiss when they’re drunk, right? No big deal. People always told stories about kissing their friends when they were in college. What’s a drunken, grope-y make out session between friends?
Korra gulped. It did get pretty heated, though.
It started sweet and innocent, but quickly devolved into something a little more animalistic. Neck biting, hair pulling, and ass grabbing (that was mostly Asami’s doing. She had her hands on Korra’s ass almost the entire time).
Korra gulped, trying to pull her thoughts into less dangerous territory. Like how Asami smelled so nice, like sweet jasmine, and the way she rubbed Korra’s back (before they tore into each other like animals), was so gentle and comforting.
Korra swallowed. Im in trouble
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps accompanied by a swinging light approaching the tent. Korra took a deep breath and sat up.
Asami’s face appeared, hair combed and dry, the smell of her shampoo wasting into the tent.
“Need anything before I get in?”
“Oh. No, I’m good.” Korra forced a smile.
Asami climbed in, leaving her boots next to Korra’s and handing the battery lamp for Korra to hold. Korra looked pointedly away as Asami undressed. She saw her toss her bra into the corner of the tent with a relieved sigh.
“Hate those things” she chuckled.
“The worst” Korra said, mouth dry.
Asami leaned into her line of sight with a mischievous grin. She didn’t even seem phased at her state of dress, only covering her bare chest with her arms. Korra was grateful for the shadows cast by the lamp, because she knew her blush would give her away.
“Make our tits look great though.” She winked.
Korra choked. “Asami!”
“It’s just boobs, Korra. Deep breath.” She laughed, turning back to finish changing.
Yeah, the boobs of the girl I lo—
She didn’t finish the thought. She couldn’t.
Korra sat frozen until she heard Asami wiggle into her sleeping bag.
“All set?” Korra cringed at the way her voice cracked at the end.
“All set.” Asami affirmed.
Korra switched off the lamp and nestled herself in her sleeping bag, pulling the corner up as far as it would go and tucking her hands between her knees, trying to create as much of a barrier between her and Asami as she could.
“So, what were you doing just sitting in the dark?” Asami asked.
Korra snapped her hear up, “What?”
Asami made a non-committal noise. “Before, when I came in. You were just sitting, staring at the wall.”
“Just thinking.”
“About anything in particular?” Asami asked and Korra could feel her knowing smirk.
Korra’s stomach dropped. They might be about to have this conversation and she was starting to feel like the floor was dropping out from under her.
“Just the hike tomorrow.”
It came out even and calm but she didn’t have time to celebrate because Asami was studying her intently, and Korra had to maintain a blank look even though she felt like her heart was beating out of chest.
Asami continued looking at her, and then, a small, slow smile.
“I bought hiking boots just for this trip so you better deliver.”
Korra blinked.
For waited for a moment, maybe she was just teasing and was going to jump in with an ‘oh so you weren’t thinking about our hard make out session the other day?’ Or maybe tease her about the whimpers Korra definitely let out when Asami squeezed her ass.
She waited, but nothing came.
Asami was looking at her expectantly and it started to sink in that maybe they weren’t going to talk about it after all.
Pushing down the mix of relief and disappointment bubbling in her chest she managed a playful push to Asami’s shoulder. It felt weak, and shaky, but Asami didn’t seem to notice.
“Just boots? No chair with cup holder armrests or cooler big enough to store a steer?”
Asami scoffed. “Because Bolin’s four can capacity Styrofoam cooler is such a huge help.”
“Hey, that’s one for each of us, you know.”
“Uh-huh, and where would you put your protein shakes that you insisted on bringing?”
Korra nodded gravely. “They are really gross when they’re warm.”
“They are really gross all the time.” Asami laughed.
“The chocolate ones aren’t so bad…” Korra trailed off.
“Whatever you say, muscles.”
The silence that followed was long enough to make Korra think Asami had fallen asleep. She startled at the sound of Asami shifting. She was close now, too close, and tracing her fingers along the stiches in Korra’s sleeping bag.
“I really was looking forward to this trip.”
Korra stiffened. “Oh?”
Asami inched a little closer and Korra could swear her heart was going to jump out of her chest.
“Yeah.” She said, voice quiet. Eyes trained on Korra.
“Me too.”
The air was getting thick with something, and suddenly Korra felt like she couldn’t breathe.
The sound of Asami running her hands along Korra’s sleeping bag was the only thing filling the silence. She could feel Asami’s exhale tickle the hairs on her pillow and it was taking everything Korra had not to close the distance between them.
“Well goodnight!” Korra squeaked, practically thrashing herself to turn to the other side.
There was another long silence before Asami spoke. So quiet Korra almost didn’t hear it. “Goodnight.”
Usually, Korra tossed and turned in her sleep, but she knew tonight she was going to have to fight it. There was no way, she could turn around and risk facing Asami again. So, she resigned herself to a night of discomfort and sore sides.
Miraculously, she was able to fall asleep.
The morning was cold and damp. Asami let out a puff of air that was, to her horror, visible.
There was no way she was getting out of this sleeping bag until the sun rose enough to warm things up a little. It wasn’t until she reached to pull the extra blanket over her face that she realized she wasn’t alone.
Korra
She was lying in a ball against the wall of the tent, burrowed into her sleeping bag. The soft rising and falling of the blankets the only indication she was even in there. Asami felt disappointment well in her chest. Korra had been acting strange since they had all met up for their weekly trivia night at the pub.
Korra barely spoke to her all day yesterday, what interactions they did have were clipped, and cold. It was familiar, almost like how she acted when they first met. Shoulders tense, clear efforts to avoid eye contact. It hurt. By the end of the night though, Korra had started to at least open up a little.
She had no idea what could have gotten Korra so upset—when she thought about what could have happened trivia night, nothing came to mind. Sure, she had gotten a little drunker than she usually did but Korra walked her to the train station like she always did. It was a little hazy but nothing jumped out. Did she get too competitive? Maybe she threw up on Korra’s shoes.
Or maybe it didn’t have anything to do with Asami. It was equally likely that it could have been something that happened at work, or with her folks. There was really no way of knowing unless Korra talked about it, and Asami knew from experience that she shouldn’t press Korra to talk about anything. It was better to let Korra come to her instead.
Despite Korra’s strange mood, Asami was excited to spend the day with her. Doing all kinds of camping stuff--hiking, fire roasted lunch, maybe some stuff with wood? She had no idea what camping was supposed to entail other than s’mores and hiking.
Truthfully, she wasn’t usually much of an outdoors person, not because she didn’t think it wasn’t beautiful--the sunset had been breathtaking--but having to walk all the way to the restrooms every time she had to pee was a little annoying. Not to mention the bugs and the crick in her neck from sleeping on the lumpy ground. Being able to sleep next to Korra was nice, though.
The lump next to her stirred. There was a quiet grumble and then Korra’s head popped squinting and bleary eyed. Her hair was sticking up at all angles, reminding Asami a little bit of Naga; cute and fuzzy.
She watched Korra sit up and rub at her eyes, unbothered by the cold. She didn’t even have goosebumps. Meanwhile Asami was struggling not to chatter her teeth.
Korra glanced around the tent and froze when she met Asami’s eyes. Silence.
There was no jab about how sensitive Asami was to the cold; no complaining about having to wake up--she always complained about having to wake up. It was strange, and only heightened the sense that there was something wrong.
“Korra?” She hated how uncertain she sounded, but she was uncertain—she didn’t know what was happening with Korra, or why she had been acting so distant. Could she be upset with her? Asami tried to think of something she might have said to upset her but came up empty.
“Oh. hey Asami.”
Her voice was hoarse from sleep. Low and scratchy. Asami felt a shiver at the sound, she loved Korra’s voice. Her morning voice might be her favorite though. There was something intimate about being the first person Korra talked to when she woke up.
“I uh…how did you sleep?” Korra asked, sounding a little uncertain herself.
“Okay,” she didn’t want to mention the crick in her neck or that she felt cold and damp even though she knew she was completely dry, “I’m freezing though, please tell me we don’t have to wake up yet.”
“Asami Sato not wanting to get out of bed? Has the world frozen over?”
There it was. The crooked smile she loved to see so much. She was starting worry she wasn’t going to see it again, but it looked like Korra might be coming back to her.
“It certainly feels like it.” Asami tried to fake a petulant tone but she was too happy to see Korra’s grin that it fell flat.
“How about you? Sleep okay all the way over there?”
Korra immediately stiffened and Asami felt a sinking in her chest.
“Fine. Yeah, slept fine.”
And just like that Korra slipped away again.
“I’m going to head out first. Brush my teeth and get breakfast ready,” Korra wiggled out of her sleeping bag, grabbed her backpack, and stepped out of the tent, “you can stay in bed. I’ll come get you when breakfast is done-- It’ll be warmer then.”
Korra knew how cold she was without having to ask, normally it would make Asami feel warm at how many little things she remembered about Asami, but today it only made her chest ache.
She barely got out a “thanks” before Korra was gone.
Sighing, she buried herself back into her sleeping bag, trying to about anything but the hollowness in her chest.
“Ok so, today we hit the Raccon-bear trail. There's supposed to be waterfall at the top and when I looked online it said its only supposed to be five miles!”
Bolin was practically vibrating in his seat. He had plowed through the bacon and eggs faster than Korra could make them. Asami had let him pick some off her plate, unable to resist the longing looks he kept giving her.
“That’s ten miles, Bolin. How much of it is uphill?” Mako asked. He sounded like he knew the answer to the question before he asked it—everyone did.
“Well…I didn’t check that part.”
There was a collective groan and Bolin had the decency to look sheepish. “It can’t be that bad! We can do it.”
Mako sighed from his place on the picnic table. He had opted to eat at the table, no doubt wanting to keep from getting eggs on his well pressed thermal.
It was comforting having someone else who was a little conscious about their clothes. Korra and Bolin were so unconcerned with their appearance that it sometimes made Asami feel a little self-conscious, like she cared too much about her appearance. But having Mako there helped to remind that she wasn’t strange, they were just chaotic dirtballs. Cute, muscular, roguish dirtballs.
“It’ll be a good workout!” Korra chirped, looking up from her spot squatting by the fire. Asami smiled seeing Korra use the coat hanger grill she had constructed yesterday, holding the handle of the cast iron pan while partially resting it on its surface.
“This was supposed to be relaxing weekend, remember? Walking up hill both ways is not relaxing.”
Korra scoffed. “C’mon Mako, didn’t you say you’ve been stuck on desk duty all week? Don’t you want to get those legs moving?”
“Yeah ‘gotta keep it tight for Wu.” Bolin chimed.
For a moment, everything stopped. The sounds of the forest--birds, breeze and leaves, faded to the background. Even the campfire didn’t seem to be crackling.
Bolin looked at Mako, panicked.
“For that Wu Shu match you have! The uh, the one next week, was it?” Bolin tried to save it, but there was no turning back now.
Mako looked like he wanted to puke.
“No its—its ok Bolin.” He sighed, head in his hands, “I guess I have to…well I mean its not like I could really keep it forever. Its just uh. You know--”
“--I am too.” Korra interrupted, not looking up from the pan. She so fast, Asami wasn’t sure she heard it right. It sounded like she just--
“I'm bi too" Korra coughed, “I mean, you know, if that’s what you are too.”
No way.
There was another long silence. Asami’s eyes were trained on Korra, who was kneeling, stone-still over the fire.
“Wait, so you’re bi?” Mako asked.
“Yeah.” She said, not looking up.
Asami was running in over drive. The girl, the straight girl, she had been pining after for the better part of two years has just come out as bisexual and suddenly Asami’s entire world was tearing itself apart. All the things she had spent nights dreaming of, Korra holding her, wrapping her arms around her waist and running her hands through her hair, all things that were filed under never, were suddenly thrown into the realm of maybe and she was dizzy with it. There wasn’t a thing in the world, hurricanes and tsunami’s be damned, that could get Asami to take her eyes off Korra right now.
She was hunched over the fire scratching at her chin, steadfastly avoiding eye contact. The bacon she had been cooking was long past burnt (Asami could smell it from here), but Korra kept poking at it anyways. Korra was trying desperately to keep her cool and Asami wanted to run over and hug her.
Or kiss her.
Mako cleared his throat. “Yeah. I think that’s what I am.”
Asami was a little surprised to hear it, although the more she thought about it, the more it started to make sense. Things she had written off as flukes were now glaringly obvious clues that she couldn’t believe she had missed.
“YOU GUYS!” Bolin squealed, loud enough to scare a flock of birds from the trees.
He rushed over to Korra with such force that she dropped the pan into the fire. She looked like she was about to protest but was cut by a bone crushing hug.
“This is the best news I’ve ever heard—Im so happy for you! This is going to be so awesome, you guys have to tell us everything!—“ then he seemed to catch himself, eyes widening in panic, “Shit! I mean not that I have to hear it or anything! You’re totally entitled to your privacy.”
He was speaking so fast Asami had a hard time catching it all.
Korra made a strained sound, her face starting to turn red, “Boling—I cant-"
His hands flew off her “Ohmygod I’m so sorry!” he rushed.
“No, it’s—it’s cool.” She said, running her hands through her hair. She was sitting, legs splayed on the ground, Bolin squatting next to her, looking frantic.
“Korra Im so sorry, I didn’t mean to almost kill you!”
“Bolin! Its fine, really,” she said, patting his knee, “I’m used to your bear hugs by now.”
Bolin let out a sigh of relief, and shifting to sit on his knees. Korra was rubbing circles on his shoulder.
“I wish I knew sooner,” he said quietly, “I wish I could have helped more. You know, if you were scared or anything I just—” she shook his head, a little misty eyed, “I’m sorry Korra.” He finished.
“It’s okay, Bolin. Its um…kind of new.” She said through a shaky laugh, as though she couldn’t quite believe it herself.
Korra glanced at Asami so quickly that she almost missed it. There was a strange look on her face that gave Asami pause, but before she could really process what it meant she realized with sudden jolt that she hadn’t said anything yet.
Here were Korra and Mako, coming out to them, and she hadn’t said a word! But God, she had to say it again—Korra was bi too.
She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Bolin, apparently recovered from his guilt ridden slump.
“So, new huh? Anyone special?” Bolin asked, wiggling his eye brows.
Asami froze. Her heart in her mouth. The thought of Korra with another woman, casually draping an arm over her chair, toying idly with the end of her hair, or surprising her at work with her super fancy macchiato green tea maccha thing-- made her practically ill.
“No one in particular.” She mumbled.
Oh thank goodness.
She let out a breath, shoulders sagging with relief.
In the silence that followed, Asami steeled herself for what she knew she had to do. Her friends had just laid themselves bare and would never forgive herself if she let them do it alone.
She had to tell them; chances like this didn’t come by every day and although it terrified her to think that Korra was both the first and last person she wanted to tell. She was her best friend, and she had wanted to confide in her for so long, but she was afraid that if Korra knew she was bisexual then it was only a matter of time before she figured out Asami had feelings for her. She didn’t know what would happen after that; the idea of Korra trying to put distance between them to spare Asami’s feelings, she couldn’t bare it.
Korra thinking she was straight was the only defense she had for her occasional slip ups. The times she would cling to Korra after a couple of glasses of wine, the times she held onto their hugs for just a little too long. It was so hard to control herself around Korra. Brave, clueless Korra. The girl made of mischief, kindness and one hell of a left hook. The girl whose earnest warmth stole her heart.
If she got caught, then so be it.
She knew she had to do this. She had to tell them.
Deep breath. She can do this.
“Since we are on the topic….” She said, inspecting her nails and trying sounded calm, “I might as well throw my hat in too.”
There was a long silence.
“’Throw your hat in? What do you mean?” Mako ventured. She could almost see the gears working in his head.
“Asami, are you saying…?”
Not trusting her voice, she just stared back at Mako, hoping he would take the hint.
Then, Bolin “Asami, are you serious?”
“Yeah.”
“Super serious?”
“Mmhm.”
“Super-duper-no-joke-serious—”
“—Bolin!” Mako interrupted, “We have established that she is serious.”
“I have to say,” Bolin said, rubbing his chin in thought, “I’m feeling a little left out, here.”
Asami laughed, Bolin’s thought process always managed to be a pleasant surprise.
She didn’t dare look at Korra. Whatever look would be on Korra’s face she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Just then, Asami was hit by the smell of very burnt bacon. Korra seemed to realize it too as leapt to get the pan, grabbing the handle, seeming to forget how long it had been sitting in the fire. She yelped and stumbled backwards, clutching her hands.
Without thinking, Asami rushed over, taking Korra’s hands in hers. Hoping Korra’s flinch was because of the burn and not Asami’s confession.
“Are you okay? Here let me see.”
“Im fine, Asami. Its not that bad.” She grumbled. Korra’s hands were an angry red and she winced when Asami ran a finger across her palm.
Korra’s hands were an angry red and she winced when Asami ran a finger across her palm.
Asami ignored her, there was no time for Korra’s tough-girl act, “We should run these under some water.”
“I’ll be okay.” Korra said, looking pointedly at the ground.
“Korra, you just grabbed a metal pan out a fire we need to take care of it.” She admonished. There was no way she was going to let Korra ignore what could be a second-degree burn. They still had the whole weekend and leading around a whimpering Korra was, although cute, not how she imaged the weekend going.
“Korra.” She fixed Korra with a stern look and there was a moment when she looked like she would protest, but seemed to think better of it. There were rarely any arguments when Asami used her ‘no-nonsense’ parent voice. It didn’t always work, but--
“Fine.” Korra said, a letting out a defeated sigh.
--it always worked on Korra.
She gave Asami one last imploring look, but was met with unamused silence. “Lead the way.” She gestured vaguely and rolling her eyes. She probably thought Asami didn’t see it, but she did, and when Asami gave her an admonishing glare Korra ducked her head, and mumbled what sounded like a sorry.
Satisfied, Asami helped her up and led a very grumpy Korra to the water spigot a couple campsites away.
“Ok, it might be a little too cold but we’ll have to deal,” she warned, “so just hold them under as long as you can, okay?”
Korra eyed the stream of water warily before she stuck her hands under. Asami watched her wince but she didn’t move. She hunched next to Korra, rubbed circles on her back.
“You’re doing great,” she soothed, “how does it feel?”
“Fantastic.” She said through gritted teeth.
“Keep them there for awhile, I know it hurts, but it will help.”
“Sorry” she amended.
The apology felt heavy, like it held more than just this moment. Korra was starting to poke her head from her shell and Asami didn’t want to risk scaring her; no matter how badly she wanted to understand what was going on with her.
“Its okay that your hand hurts, Korra. You don’t always have to play the tough girl. Especially when you’re around me. I hope you know that.”
“No I mean for—”
“Snapping at me?" Asami finished. Shooting Korra a pointed look.
Korra deflated.
She was starting to withdraw again and Asami didnt want to let her go just yet--
"Its okay, I know its because it hurts," Asami amended. She wanted to add more--to ask Korra why she had been so cold, why she had been aovifing her, but that could wait until later,"especially since you have what I am starting to suspect is a nasty second-degree burn.”
There was a moment of deliberation, Korra looking between her and the spray of water, rushing out of the spigot.
“Ok. It hurts then.”
"I know." Asami said, softly.
"Thanks." Korra said through a shy smile.
“Does little baby Korra want me to kiss it better?”
Korra flushed.
“Asami!” she sputtered. “I thought you said—”
“—I couldn’t resist!” She snickered. Korra was squirming and Asami had to wrap her arms around her to keep her from moving away from the stream.
“I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I baby you.” She said, her chin resting over Korra’s shoulder.
“Its fine.” She huffed.
You love it
They were quiet for a moment, only the sound of the water slapping against the packed dirt.
Gently, Asami took Korra’s hands in hers, drawing them closer to inspect them “Here, lets see them.”
Korra’s back was practically flush against her. She could feel how solid Korra was under her flimsy shirt, (one of Asami’s favorites), the dark blue Henley with the missing top-button. It hugged the swell of her shoulders in a way that made Asami’s mouth water, showing the swell and dips of her muscles—and the missing button kept it open at the chest, giving a peek of Korra’s pretty collar bones and tanned skin.
She thought she felt Korra lean into her but she knew must be imagining it.
“They look okay. I don’t see any blistering so that’s good.”
“So, we’re done?” Korra asked. She sounded flustered, and Asami didn’t know what to make of it.
“Well I would like to put some ointment on them.”
“Nooo I hate that stuff.” Korra whined, “It feels so gross.”
Asami turned Korra around to face her, “A little discomfort now will save a lot—
“—of discomfort later. I know.” Korra finished for her, rolling her eyes.
Asami smiled.
“Exactly.”
They heled each other’s gaze for a moment.
“Fine.” She sighed, defeated once again.
“My, what a cooperative patient I have today! Maybe I should feed you Naga’s weight in s’mores every night if this is what it turns you into.”
Korra’s eyes softened, “Into what, a whiny, burned mess?”
“Into a whiney, burned mess that listens to me.”
Korra rolled her eyes and Asami gave her a teasing pat on the cheek.
Asami turned the water spigot off, feeling a little guilty for having it running for so long—she figured doing one fourth the suggested fifteen minutes was compromise enough. She probably couldn’t have kept Korra much longer anyway. Although she was being surprisingly cooperative; maybe she was feeling guilty about how she acted earlier.
“Uh, Asami?”
She turned to see Korra, eyes on the ground, scratching at her neck. Something about Korra’s nervous habits were so painfully endearing to Asami that she could hardly stand it.
Maybe it was in the contrast; that the girl with the ever-confident lopsided grin could also be a bashful, blushing, doe eyed rabbit.
A bashful, blushing doe-eyed rabbit with a rippling back and rock-solid thighs.
“Yes?”
Asami leaned forward, her eyes a little foggy. It was hard not to let her imagination run wild when Korra was standing right in front of her shuffling her feet and looking too cute than anyone really had the right to be.
“Thanks.”
“For taking care of me.” Korra said, averting her eyes.
Cute.
“And for--” she let out a sort of half-laugh, looking up at Asami with bright, tender eyes, “you know, for being you.”
She closed her eyes, trying to commit to memory the way Korra had just said ‘for being you.’ It was quiet, almost a whisper, and the grateful, almost reverent way she said it made Asami’s heart flip.
Asami knew Korra was trying to reach out, however tentatively.
I’m sorry they said.
Maybe she didn’t care about Asami the way she hoped, and maybe the sorry wasn’t enough to mend the way Korra had acted, but for now, with Korra looking at her like that, hesitant and hopeful, how could she refuse?
She held Korra’s gaze.
Asami wanted to be angry, she should be angry but she couldn’t find it in herself to hold onto it.
“Who else would I be?” she said softly.
Korra dipped her head in relief, laughing “The best friend anyone could ask for?”
“Mm. That too.” Asami nodded.
Korra’s smile was growing, relied clear on her face, and you know what? Maybe Asami didn’t need to make it that easy.
Maybe she could make her sweat a little. It was only fair.
“What else?” She fixed Korra with an expectant stare. The one she used when trying to intimidate a board member into giving her what she wanted.
Korra swallowed.
“You’re um, “she started, her eyes looking everywhere but at Asami, “You’re really helpful and nice.”
“And?”
“A mechanical genius.”
“And?”
Korra looked at her, pained, “and you’re super smart, super thoughtful, super pretty and I don’t deserve you!”
Asami put on a bored look, inspecting her nails.
“And?”
She glanced up to see the moment of realization dawn on Korra, “You’re teasing!”
“So?”
Korra gave her a pleading look, but Asami wasn’t ready to stop.
Korra groaned, “Okay, okay— you ride motorcycles which is really cool, you work really hard and are like, the most capable and reliable person in the world and you have the nicest hair and always smell good and you’re so, so pretty, and—” Korra squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed, “—and can I please stop now?”
“I don’t know, you’re kind of on a roll.” Asami drawled.
Korra let out a high-pitched whine.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” She breathed.
“I think you forgot to mention ‘incredibly good at giving gifts’.”
“Asami!” Korra stomped her foot and it made Asami’s heart melt a little.
“Just a little light teasing.” She said, moving to tuck some of Korra’s hair behind her hear. Her hair was almost long enough to put in a ponytail again.
“I think we have different definitions of ‘light’ teasing.” Korra’s tone was tired, but she preened under Asami’s touch.
“I think we both know you had it coming.”
“Yeah.”
Korra was quiet for a moment, “I'm sorry, Asami.”
“You hurt my feelings, Korra.”
“I know.”
“A lot.”
“I know.”
Asami studied her for a moment. Korra’s sleeves were wet all the way to the elbow, her hair was frizzy and there was a smudge of ash on her cheek but she still looked so, so beautiful. Korra’s beauty was so different than Asami’s—where Asami was city nights, swooping dresses and smoky eyes, Korra was the morning sun; fresh, and bright, and buzzing with life.
Korra wasn’t looking at her, and it was making her heart sink.
“Was it something I said?” Asami hated how small she sounded.
Korra blanched “what? No! Asami, no way, not at all!”
“Then what is it?”
“Its nothing. Just work, you know?”
Asami didn’t believe it for a second. There was no way Korra’s mood didn’t have anything to do with her—the avoiding, the snapping, it was all directed at Asami, and although Korra had told her it wasn’t something she did, she couldn’t help but worry. It had hurt and he wanted to know why, but she knew that Korra liked to deal with things in her own time, and pushing her would only make her retreat further.
“Well, I’m here if you want to talk about it, okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks Asami.”
“How’s your hand, ready to head back and start that hike?”
Korra’s big grin made Asami’s heart swell.
“Let’s do it.”
A warm relief was seeping into her chest: she had her Korra back.
Now all she had to do was survive a hike through the wildness that Bolin (who couldn't even remember half the things on the grocery list) had planned.
Maybe if she walked behind Korra she could at least stare at her--
"You coming Asami?"
"Yes!" she squeaked.
You can do this Sato.