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“There’s… something I should have told you earlier.” Aloth began reluctantly. He’d been hiding this, hiding her, for so long now, that to say that he was uneasy about the prospect of admitting to his… condition… was somewhat of an understatement. Still, the Watcher had so far seemed to be a kind soul, one that had always been honest with him, and he knew that he was going to have to tell her about this sooner or later. Sooner seemed to be the better option. The longer that he put it off, the harder it was going to get to broach the subject.
“So tell me now.” Ariela replied, with a soft smile, directing him away from the rest of the group to create some semblance of privacy for them. “We don’t need to have secrets between us.”
He swallowed heavily, figetting with material of his cloak as he attempted to find the right words. Just because she’d been kind to other people so far, didn’t mean that she was guaranteed to be understanding of this. She was from Aedyr, and he knew there was every chance that she would react in the same way that he would expect from any other of his countrymen if they were to discover his secret. Distrust. Rejection. Sending him away.
“I meant no harm in not telling you.” Aloth insisted quickly. “I… thought that I could keep it to myself. I thought…"
"Aloth.” Her calming voice cut through his spiraling thoughts. There was a concerned expression on her face, the same one that she’d had every time that she had checked in on him after noticing that he’d been too quiet for too long. “It’s alright. Take a deep breath. Whatever you have to tell me, I’m sure that it’s fine.”
“I also have an Awakened soul.” He admitted, after a long breath, and with the words he felt some type of weight lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t know how Ariela was going to react, but at least now he had told her. He didn’t have to pretend any more around her. “Though unlike yours, mine is a presence that shares my senses and my skin, making herself manifest at the most unwelcome of times.”
“You have an Awakened soul?” Ariela repeated, dumbly. She looked confused for a moment, and then a bright smile spread across her face, as though she’d just received the best news of her life. “Oh, thank the Gods!”
“That’s… not the reaction that I was expecting.”
“Sorry, darling. I just… I was convinced that you were an assassin. Or, some other such unpleasant profession. Someone hired by my family to… well, that doesn’t matter. You’re not.” She paused for a moment, then looked him straight in the eye with a deeply concerned expression. “…You’re not, right? This wasn’t some kind of two-tier confession?”
Ye may not be a killer, but ye’ve still plenty to tell her, Lad. Or dae ye think she’s nye reason to know?
“Uh… no."
"Good.” Ariela beamed. How was he supposed to confess to anything else right now, when she looked so relieved to know that he was on her side? Whatever else he might need to tell her was going to have to wait for a better time. The Watcher suddenly seemed to remember herself, and flashed him a sheepish look. “I’m very sorry, you were telling me about your Awakened soul?”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to burden you with this. I’ve tried to learn to control Iselmyr, but as I’ve gotten stronger, so has she.”
“Iselmyr?” Ariela cocked her head a little as she repeated the name, curiously, testing it out. It felt strange to hear the name from someone else’s lips, after years of being so careful that no-one else find out about her existence. “…Tell me about her?”
Fye, if ye’d let me, I’d be happy to show her-
“Artless. Uncouth.” He informed, cutting off whatever comment Iselmyr had been about to make inside his head, and instead choosing to focus on Ariela, who was still listening to him intently, now thoughtfully chewing on her lower lip. “A creature of rash impulses and feeble faculties.”
“So, back in Gilded Vale, when I first met you…?”
“That was a situation brought on by Iselmyr’s impulsive actions, yes.” Meeting her eyes, the ones the same colour as the trees of the Cythwood in the summer, he couldn’t help but smile appreciatively. “And I am still very thankful for your intervention.”
“Of course, darling. I wasn’t just going to let them hurt you. Even if you- or, Iselmyr, I guess- did tell that one man to-”
“Gods, don’t remind me.” He let out a long sigh, and noted Ariela’s smirk as he did so. Well, he was glad that one of them was managing to find the situation entertaining, at least. He had to admit, though, that this was going much better than he’d been anticipating, overall. “I have none of her memories, Berath spared me that much. But her coarse manners and intolerable Hylspeak suggest a provincial from a very, very long time ago.”
“And here I thought it was stressful to have someone else’s memories with no context. I can’t even imagine how it must feel to fight for control of your own body with someone else.” There was a brief flash of distress on her face, until she carefully schooled it into mere concern. “Especially with someone so confrontational in their actions.”
“That’s it exactly!” He realised he had raised his voice too late, forgetting himself in his excitement over having someone else see things his way. He hadn’t expected to find acceptance after his confession, let alone empathy. Glancing past Ariela, back towards the rest of the group, he was thankful to see that he hadn’t drawn any attention to himself. “When she shows up, she doesn’t stop to gauge a situation. She doesn’t think, and she doesn’t back down. She just… acts. Trying to suppress that has been my problem for years.”
“It shouldn’t be.” Ariela’s reply was immediate, her voice soft. “You shouldn’t have to suppress a part of yourself. I understand why you feel that you do, I’ve been hiding my cipher abilities from everyone my whole life for the same reason, but it shouldn’t be that way. There’s nothing wrong with either of us. I wish…” She trailed off, a far-off look in her eye for a few moments, until she snapped back to the present, an apologetic look in her eye as she met his gaze once more. “Sorry. I just… it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what you’ve been through, so please just forget I said anything. But you don’t need to stand on ceremony with me, Aloth. If there’s anything you need, you’ve only to ask.”
Aloth wasn’t exactly accustomed to having someone put his needs first, but in that moment, still basking in the warmth of Ariela’s acceptance of a part of himself that he had long since decided that no-one would ever be able to accept, it occurred to him that it was a very real possibility that she meant it. That she would actually do what she could to help him find some kind of comfort in his own skin, without expecting anything from him in return. That she genuinely wanted to help him. And, honestly, that feeling was somewhat intoxicating.
“Thank you, Ariela. I’ll certainly bear that in mind.”