Work Text:
Apollo sits in a room.
He says,
“Hermes, write this down.”
Yet he pauses and it’s weighted
It’s heavy and desolate and Hermes knows he should not be readying his pen
Apollo thinks of how he should start
He thinks of how Zeus started
With all of his,
“You will get over him. Boys are just a phase, an experiment of lightning in a bottle. All of the Greeks know this.”
He thinks of how often experiments need repetition for consistent results
He thinks of how he opened his heart
Opened his heart
Opened his heart
He thinks about how it had been
Carefully plucked from his ribs like an apple
How it had been held, warm and throbbing like the rest of him
How he would not get over it
He could not tell them this.
He thinks of Hera
With all of her,
“You will want to leave a legacy. Leave a good one.”
As she casts a glance to Hephaestus in disgust
Yet all he thinks of is Coronis’ betrayal
And how angry he had been with himself
How she had noticed before he did
That he did not love her
That he was not a good lover
How this had left him scorched
Perhaps if he cared
He could have saved Cyrene from
The lack of blood for eighteen months
Like what worked through his own heart
At the thought of her
He could not tell them this.
He thinks of Hades and Persephone
How they crooned and said,
“You will miss the joys of having children.”
While in a bout of irony
Adopting his Orpheus
His most gifted, his most neglected
Perhaps he would understand why
They should be seen and not heard
Like the gods often were
Children were not gods
And Apollo could not bear himself to convene with them
They still considered Apollo a child
They expected him to listen
He could not tell them this.
He thinks of Aphrodite
And how she started with,
“They are not like us, these humans. They will die and leave you lonely and heartbroken, Apollo.”
How often he has been told to love something already like him
Yet he is not Narcissus
He is a young god
And doesn’t understand why the older ones insist
That his Pure Blood will be
Corrupted
Diluted
He doesn’t understand how it’s not right
When he is so
Treasured and Loved
And offers the same kind of love
More than anything Aphrodite herself could give
He could not tell them this.
Again
He says,
With his voice clear and intended to burn the reflection of the sea from the sky
“Hermes, write this down.”
He can tell them this,
“Tell them I will not leave Icarus.”