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A month had passed. A whole month and yet Derek still couldn't take his mind off everything that happened. The pack was broken, shattered, pieces strewn all over the floor. There were gaps that couldn't be filled - Allison, Aiden. Both gone for good.
The rest of the pack probably didn't think it but Derek cares. He cares a lot. Yes Allison was a hunter - enemies werewolves - and yes, Aiden was once against him and the pack but Derek still cared. Their deaths had created an emptiness inside that would forever be a dark and painful hole.
Most days since the nogitsune was beaten Derek spent lounging around the loft, nose stuck in a book he wasn't paying attention to as his thoughts drifted back to memories of those he’s lost.
Of course he wasn't alone in feeling this, it was obvious that Scott’s feelings would be mutual, it was Allison that died after all. However, Derek doesn't know for sure how Scott was feeling, he hadn't spoken to him since it happened. In fact, he hadn't spoken to any of the pack since it happened. That’s why his face filled with shock and confusion when he glanced up from his book as the sound of someone knocking on the large metal door echoed around the room.
At first Derek didn't believe he had actually heard it, staying in his seat, the book folded in his lap as he stared at the door, daring the person to knock again. They didn't. Instead there came a voice, his name, from behind the oversized door. A voice Derek knew extremely well. A voice he’d probably never forget, no matter how long he’s away from it. Stiles.
The hyperactive boy stood on the opposite side of the door, except he wasn't hyperactive, he wasn't happy or energetic. He wasn't the Stiles Derek remembered. It’s true that Stiles probably had the worst time other the past few months than any others, what with the possession and all that, and he looked awful then. But now, if possible, he looked worse. His skin was pure white, large dark circles made their home under his eyes, giving him the look of a person suffering from a terminal illness.
“Hey,” Derek said softly, almost a whisper.
“Hi. Sorry to just show up like this but I didn't know who else to go to, I mean Scott has barely spoken to me, which is understandable I guess, Lydia too. My dad just wouldn't understand no matter how hard-”
“Whoa, wait. Slow down.” The wolf interrupted, brain working hard to take in everything the boy had just said. “What’s going on?”
Stiles sighed, opening his mouth to speak but closing it seconds after. Derek wasn't even sure how he felt about the kid showing up out of the blue but right now all he wanted was to see him smile, to comfort him until the Stiles from before returns to him.
“I don’t know what to do…” Stiles mumbled, focusing his vision on his feet almost as if he was trying to hide the tears that formed in his eyes. “I- I just can’t cope with this any more.”
“Hey, okay. It’s all right.” A hesitant and shaky hand reached up to comfort Stiles, guiding him into the loft and over to the couch. “Just calm down and tell me what’s happened.”
Stiles took the offer to sit, wiping away a tear that had escaped and rolled down his cheek.
“Fuck. I feel pathetic. Sorry about this.”
“Don’t apologise, it’s fine.” Derek replied, taking a seat next to the younger man.
“I just… I can’t stop thinking about all the shit we've been through. I can’t keep the image of Allison buried six feet underground. Fuck.”
That was it. The thoughts of Allison had sent Stiles over the edge. Tears streamed down his face as he buried his face in his hands.
“It’s not f-fair. It’s not fair that I- I lived and she didn't.” The words came out gravelly and broken, interrupted every now and then as Stiles gasps for air. “I should have died. It sh-should have been me.”
Derek didn't know what to do or say. He had never seen Stiles like this, he’d seen him cry but never like this. Stiles was broken, he was falling apart at the seams and Derek had absolutely no idea how to help him.
“Stiles…”
That was all Derek could manage, the rest of the words caught in his throat. It seemed to help though; the pale boy beside him gazed up at him, his eyes red and puffy from the crying, his white cheeks stained with tears.
Silence filled the following few minutes, both of them staring at each other before Stiles suddenly jumped up from his seat.
“Wow. I have no idea why I'm even telling you this, you don’t care.” He huffed, pacing in front of the couch Derek was still sat on. “I am a freaking mess. I mean, it’s gotten to the point when I come to you for help! It’s hilarious!”
“Stiles…” Derek repeated, still unable to manage anything else.
“Oh come on Derek! You've never given a shit about me! I don’t know why I even considered coming here, I should’ve just stayed at home, suffered in silence. Man, I'm an idiot.”
What happened next was unexpected for both Stiles and Derek. It was rushed and sloppy but it felt right. Derek’s lips collided with Stiles’s, the kiss passionate, meaningful. Far from perfect but still incredible.
Stiles was the first to pull away, his need for oxygen taking over.
A moment of silence filled the air as Derek waited for Stiles to catch his breath. He half expected Stiles to freak out, run away but no. He stayed put, resting his forehead against Derek’s, hands resting on his chest clutching his shirt.
“I do care” Derek spoke in low, soft voice.
“I know, I'm sorry.”
“I've always cared.”
“I know.”
Silence fell again. Derek brushed a thumb over his cheek, wiping away a tear before planting a kiss on Stiles’s head and pulling him in closer.
“I know it’s hard,” the werewolf muttered in Stiles’s hair. “I know it’s difficult right now, especially without Scott to talk to, or Lydia… Or Allison. I know. But we’ll make it through, we always do.”
“We've never dealt we anything like this.”
“Yes we have, Stiles. You and I have already gone through this. We've lost people before and it’s fucking shit, but we've done it once, we can do it again. I promise.”
Stiles sobbed against Derek’s shoulder as he spoke causing Derek to embrace Stiles tighter, running a hand through his hair.
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
The rest of the night was spent like this, comforting each other, desperately trying to forget the shit that’s happened, at least for one night. Much of it was spent in silence, no words of comfort coming to mind. So instead, they just cuddled close, sharing kisses until eventually Stiles fell asleep in Derek’s arms.
Derek was confused about this, about his feelings for Stiles. It wasn't long ago Derek wanted to throttle the kid till he shut up. Maybe it was because of everything that happened that he suddenly felt so close to him, all the chaos and hurt, or maybe these feelings were real.
Whatever the case, Derek knew that this moment; Stiles laying peacefully in his arms as he slowly drifted into sleep himself, he knew that he never wanted it to end. He never wanted to see Stiles without a smile on his face and although it would be a struggle to make that happen, Derek was determined to get his Stiles back.