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Of course, the fearsome bounty hunter for the Raven Queen, revered as the Grim Reaper himself, must be composed and collected. If not, at least appearing so. Enemies of her highness should be struck paralyzed by the dead-set precision of the man hunting them tirelessly; cowering under the thought that they cannot escape, they cannot phase, they cannot outsmart. Even outside of battle, he has not only her reputation to uphold, but his own as well. Everyone he comes into contact with should be aware somewhere in their mind that Kravitz is, above all else, a powerful, holy being not to be trifled with. If he shows weakness they take advantage of him. He’s learned that many times over the past thousand years.
Because in many interpersonal settings, Kravitz is not composed or collected.
His mind has a nasty habit of thinking through the worst scenarios; clinging to minor missteps others surely don’t notice but Kravitz certainly does . In crowds he feels so self-aware his chest tightens until he can’t breath and he doesn’t have to of course but that doesn’t make the sensation of suffocating any more bearable. And with dating - fuck, the problems with dating. On one hand he falls so fast and hard ( yes his desire for romance is an issue in itself to be psychoanalyzed and he’s aware of that too ) for charming smiles, gentlemen or even just a cute guy with sharp teeth that looks like fun. On the other it bites him so many times to the end where he doesn’t even think it’s his own fault and has decided that he is just exponentially unlucky.
But, his mind being such a hard worker, it comes up with more than enough blame to be placed on himself, especially in light of many relationships playing out the same way. Kravitz meets a man, the man likes Kravitz, they date as much as they can between the man’s life and Kravitz’ holy duty. Maybe it goes on for years and years. Kravitz is likable enough but just...not quite enough. The man finds someone else. Kravitz learns it’s not working out after he’s already been left.
Eventually he has enough after a relationship of ten fucking years falls through and leaves him with words that bounce around his head almost daily: “ I loved that you were so unchanging. You could never be anything less. But I realized you could never be anything more. ”
That man shattered his unbeating heart and scattered the pieces into the ocean over where his long forgotten corpse sat buried under sand. Kravitz thought he would be able to move on, but before long the weight of everything said crushed him. His queen, beautiful and watchful, let him rest in feathers and cry until there was nothing else to say, then sleep until he could bring himself to rise again. She advised with a gentle tone that perhaps he take a long time off from trying to find love in mortal men.
Kravitz took it to heart and spent the next two-hundred years by himself.
Then Taako happens.
By no means did Kravitz ever mean to start dating the elf. Taako just has a way of happening, he learns before long. They meet to talk business and without the reaper seeming to realize until the last moment, it’s kind of a date. And, looking back afterward, he recalls how much fun dates are and how sweet some men can be. Somehow they end up talking again over their stones because Taako is just bored and has no reservations about hitting up the literal embodiment of death while he works. If that in itself isn’t enough to make Kravitz grow fond of the elf, the brazen flirting and interest in him is. So they go out a second, third, and finally fourth time and as they laugh together over some silly story, Taako a brilliant sight to behold with features glowing under dim light and bright with so much life, there’s a warmth flooding his chest he hasn’t felt in centuries. In the next moment it’s replaced by anxiety sinking an iron grip into him.
He’s in love again.
Like clockwork his mind offers the worst scenarios possible, a panic attack threatens to engulf his very soul, and their entrees haven’t even made it to the table yet. Up until now Taako has never seen anything but the cool and collected Kravitz that only fumbles with especially flustered, but definitely isn’t an anxious disaster, and he’s determined to uphold that image. His expression must have faltered enough for the elf to take notice because he’s faced with a quirked brow and a curious, “Something wrong, babe? Bird mom better not be calling to ruin my dinner date.”
Kravitz does his best to smooth over any cracks with an easy smile and an assurance of, “No - I think she just needs to talk to me. Give me just a moment.”
He hopes it isn’t too obvious with the short response as he stands and ducks out onto an empty patio of the restaurant, abandoned thanks to chilly weather that doesn’t bother him in the slightest. A few steps puts him out of sight of the windowed door and he leans back against the wall, sliding down until he’s sitting on the wooden floor, knees tucked to his chest.
This wasn’t supposed to happen again. Not so soon, at least. Maybe never. Yet, is two-hundred years really too soon? And really what did he expect? To just, date Taako casually and not become invested? Yes, because that’s something he’s ever been able to do. Taako is so sweet and gods yes he loves him but now the sound is clear as day of Taako telling him, look, hot stuff, you’re just not really what I’m out here looking for. Like, it’s been real fun! But Taako’s checking out . Fuck, if Taako knew how he felt he’d probably bolt anyway because it’s way too early to be having serious feelings. His roommates don’t even know he’s been seeing Kravitz, considering Kravitz tried to kill all of them and almost did . He’s so rigid by now and his head is pounding; it feels like he could throw up, though thankfully being unable to. This was all such a bad idea, what the fuck was he thinking dating a former bounty? Or just, dating at all? Fuck, he’s just going to get hurt, or worse hurt Taako because he always manages to -
The door to the restaurant opens and Kravitz starts, blinking up to find his date looking back with furrowed brows.
“Heyyy, just, making sure shits all good….but you don’t look like you’re, uh, talking to the big lady out here,” Taako observes. The door closes behind him, cutting off the chatter coming from inside and leaving alone together. “Is...everything okay, Krav? Cause it looks to me like you ran off to just sit out here by yourself.”
Kravitz realizes he’s not sure if he can talk. Not without taking a few more minutes to calm down and get himself together. Maybe the shocked silence or shaking hands visible under moonlight give him away because the elf doesn’t press further and just, takes a seat next to him. He doesn’t try to touch Kravitz or scrutinize him anymore. Instead, his gaze is set on the night sky and surrounding area. After a few minutes of letting his boyfriend take slow breaths and hide his face, Taako speaks up, “If you needed to go somewhere and calm down you could’a just said somethin’. I know you’re not a big people guy.”
Kraivitz fidgets with the sleeve of his shirt. Anxiety still twists in his stomach but it’s subsided enough to where he can think more rationally and manage to reply, “It’s not...that. Per say.” Although the fact that Taako has noticed as much only endears him further and makes this situation more unbearable.
“Then…?” Taako prompts carefully, leaning forward to try and catch Kravitz’ eye. “Look - I get I’m not big on sharing but my guy it seems like you are real big on not sharing and so far you’ve been great at listening to me and all of my bullshit so...if something’s bugging you, you can, talk about it, y’know..?”
Kravitz nods. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, and it’s really sweet. He takes another steadying breath and reminds himself to be direct. Don’t ramble and make a fool of yourself, don’t reveal you’re even more of a nervous idiot than you already have - “I just, uh...I don’t - I mean, I don’t want you, to freak out or feel pressured to say it back or anything! But if I should explain - it, um, I really, really like you, Taako. Like, maybe more than like, I think I’m falling in love and - again it’s okay if that’s not how you feel! It’s just - I - I haven’t dated anyone in a long time...over two-hundred years. Because it just keeps going so badly for me and I realized I was falling for you and it scared the shit out of me because last time I spent ten years with someone who told me - fuck - it just didn’t work out and I like you and I want this to work out and...that’s...a lot isn’t it..”
The good news is he may have just ended the relationship before it could be ended in a potentially worse way.
Because Taako doesn’t respond right away, he just, blinks at Kravitz and looks thoughtful. The reaper expects the worst when he opens his mouth. “Alright, so. Yeah - yeah that’s a lot.” A pause as he turns his attention up to the starry sky and away from the man next to him. “Well, uh. First of all I feel you on not dating for a long time and having some bad shit happen. That’s kinda where I was at coming into this. Whatever that guy said to you was probably fucking bullshit too and I’ll tell you in a five paragraph essay why if you ever want to get into it but - I think that’s cause, I really...like you too, Krav. Dunno if I really, uh, wanna use the other word. But don’t take that as like, I won’t ever.”
“Tragically, I didn’t major in divination so using my immense and wonderful magic I can’t tell you where this is going - but I was kinda hoping it was going on more dates? And maybe in the future, you telling me if you like have a full blown freak out instead of running away. Cause I get it and I don’t really want my date to like take five to go have a panic attack.”
Kravitz laughs weakly and pulls his knees closer to his chest, partially to hide and partially so they brush against Taako’s. “I...suppose I wanted to maintain the illusion that the grim reaper doesn’t chronically overthink and worry about everything. I’m sorry.” He hesitates a beat before leaning just enough into Taako to lay his head on the elf’s shoulder, relaxing even more when the elf scoots closer in return. “I appreciate that you came out to check on me. That was really sweet. Even if I just dumped a lot of topics on you that you probably don’t want to worry about and cannot fix.”
Taako gives a thoughtful hum and replies, “Well, no, cha’boy ain’t a miracle worker. But I do find it hard to look away from a certain gorgeous face and in that case it’s hard not to notice the little things. Plus, seems like just listening and being here chilled you right the fuck out.”
A smile forms on his lips at the same time a heat pools in his cheeks and he’s laughing again, this time out of sheepishness. “I, ah...yes, normally being this close makes me feel at ease.”
“Wow. Gay much, dude?” Taako scoffs.
“Just a little.”
That earns him a peck on the top of his head. They stay there like that for another minute before Taako gently slides Kravitz off and stands up, offering a hand once he does. “Look - I’m totally down to continue the deep meaningful chat sesh after dinner but I’m sure our food is getting cold and the waitress probably thinks we’re out here fucking. So we’re gonna tip real big as a thanks for her not barging in.”
The warm in Kravitz face bursts into burning heat. Oh, fuck, he’s so right. Regardless he accepts the elf’s hand and smiles despite being flustered, and manages a dry, “Oh - oh, yeah, you’re right.” And before they go back in a more composed, “Thanks, Taako...really.”
Taako shoots a smile back his direction and replies, “Hey, babe, don’t mention it.”