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She'd heard about Angela.
The girl Alice had rescued from Raccoon City, a bargaining chip to ensure safe passage out of a city that had been condemned to extermination. Carlos had mentioned her in passing a few times: she was a young girl who'd been infected with the T-Virus by her father -the creator- to eradicate her genetic illness. Who, like Alice, had also gained abilities. A girl that the closed-off woman had come to love like a daughter.
And Claire had made the mistake of bringing her up one night.
The caravan had stopped to make camp somewhere just east of Las Vegas, and a few of them had settled around a campfire. And although she normally kept to herself, Carlos had been able to coax Alice out to sit with them that night. They passed around a coveted can of pineapple, conversing lowly as the flames cast a flickering orange glow over them.
It was some time late in the night that she'd asked. Most of the caravan had already left to go sleep, but Claire had always been most awake at night, and herself, Carlos, and a couple of the others had remained. Alice never seemed to sleep much.
"Did you leave Angela with Jill?" she'd asked, remembering Carlos's story about them going to pull Alice out of containment.
She'd seen the pause, like a freeze, right before something metal beyond the firelight groaned from pressure and imploded. The other people jumped, immediately on their feet and pointing guns into the darkness of the night. Alice muttered an apology, commenting on how she was still gaining control of her powers, and stood up, walking away into the night.
Immediately she felt guilt drop through her, because that was a reaction that only spoke of loss.
"I'll talk to her," Carlos met her gaze across the campfire, sympathy in his eyes.
And so he followed after her, disappearing from her vision as soon as he left the glow of firelight that danced over the sand.
It was only much later that Alice had talked about Angela.
She had been crammed into the back of a Yak-52, wrists bound and memory wiped, watching the landscape speed by as a woman she didn't remember flew them to Los Angeles. It had mostly been a silent flight, but every once in a while Alice -as she'd introduced herself- would make an off-handed comment about something.
Looking back, she figured Alice had talked about Angela because she truly thought she wouldn't get her memory back. Or perhaps she'd simply been lonely. Umbrella's ex-security head had commented on not having had human contact for some time, after all. Maybe she'd just needed to say it out loud.
But there they were, somewhere over the state of Washington, having sat in silence for some time, when Alice had mentioned the girl again.
"You once asked what happened to Angela."
It was said so solemnly, Claire hadn't commented on not remembering who that was or even asking about her. Alice would have known anyways. So she shifted in her seat, thinking the binds on her wrists could have been a bit looser since they were beginning to cut into her skin, and stared at the seat in front of her.
"I... killed her." It was a whisper, barely breathed.
Claire stiffened defensively at the statement. Was that a warning? A threat? Who was Angela, why did Alice kill her? The plane was already too small, and now it was stifling. There was no escape from this tiny aircraft, no hope of getting away.
And it was silent after that for a long time; those words hanging in the air between them.
"I just..." She heard the woman start again, maybe a half hour later, her voice holding a rough tremble that made Claire suddenly wonder if the woman had been crying. There was a long pause, and then a deep breath. "Umbrella," came the acid-laced word, quiet and sharp. "They took control. Of. Of... me.
"They made me take her, bring her back to their facility. I couldn't stop myself, my body just... obeyed." She choked on the word, but Claire pretended to not hear it over the roar of the engines. "And then Dr. Isaacs decided she was no use to them; the strain of T-Virus in her was not the same as the one in me... the one that had escaped. So they made me pull a gun on her and... And I- I shot her. My finger just... squeezed the trigger against my will."
She lifted her eyes from the back of the seat she'd been staring at, and tried to decipher the woman's expression in the warped reflection of the cockpit.
"She was only nine years old," it was a horrified whisper, and Claire imagined she was crying from the hitch in her words. "Only nine years old and I put a bullet through her skull. Watched her brains spray our SUV. And I couldn't stop it." She definitely heard a hitch in breath there, a sob that choked her.
"Those times weird things happened at camp? I blamed them on not being in control yet. But... It was because I saw her in my sleep. Every night. I relieved that moment over and over and over." She heard the woman draw in a rattling, fortifying breath. "But then I found you. And with you I found... grounding. In knowing I could share the burden. You were a good leader. It was nice to take a backseat."
It had taken some time, after that conversation, but eventually her memories began to come back.
A few memories came back while at the prison, but once they left they began to come back to her faster and faster.
She remembered her younger years, the beginning of the apocalypse, collecting a ragtag group of survivors and making their way through the desert. She remembered picking up Carlos and LJ, finding K-Mart. The sky turning to fire and this mysterious woman collapsing. She remembered Vegas, her fated helicopter ride to Alaska. Umbrella coming for them, tearing her people from each other, then taking them away. Trying to take her. Ripping away from their clutches and running.... running, running, running-
And then Alice's words became more poignant. She suddenly understood the cold demeanor. Her recalcitrance. Her need to defend her.
But then they were ripped apart again.
Umbrella attacked the Arcadia, and Claire disappeared back into Umbrella's clutches.
======
They reunited at the Hive in Raccoon City. A small, scared girl clutching at Alice and staring around her with wide, terrified eyes.
"Lower your weapons!" She shouted at the group, staring at the girl intensely. "Put them
down... now!"
"Claire?"
Her eyes swung up to meet Alice's, giving a smile of welcome.
=======
The little girl, Becky, was deaf she'd realized later. She watched as Alice signed to the girl and spoke along with the guestures. The woman held a gentle, warm smile; patient as she mouthed and whispered words gingerly. Claire had never seen her so sweet and open before then. Her heart ached; Alice would have been a great mother if she'd been able to have children of her own -she remembered an off-handed comment, once, about her inability to have children, but Claire had seen the brief hurt. Which was quickly covered as she moved on to other topics.
And that's when all the other memories flooded back.
A moment in the back of a Hummer. Sand, so much sand... but there was a hand curled into her own as they stared into the vastness of the Milky Way from a sand dune. She remembers a kiss, their only one, quick and chaste and promising she would come back to her.
How had she not known? How had she not remembered?
Alice was chuckling at something the young girl had said, and when Alice looked up, still smiling -she'd never seen her smile like that before... so unguarded- their eyes met and Claire felt her chest tighten. Alice had never mentioned anything... so maybe it hadn't meant anything. It was the end of the world, after all. A quick fling meant nothing more than a release, a way to deal with stress, restlessness... Or perhaps she'd resigned herself to knowing whatever had been between them had been lost with the memories, and was respectful enough not to dredge up history she hadn't known was there.
But Alice must have seen something different on her face, because she signed something to Becky and stood up, crossing the room to her.
"What is it?" She heard her ask, concern drawing a line between her brows. "Claire? What's wrong?" She touched her arm, and Claire looked back towards Becky, unable to look at Alice or meet her eyes. Her heart was in her throat, and a feeling of sadness threatened to overwhelm her.
"What were we?"
"What do you mean?" Alice glanced back towards the girl as well, keeping her expression neutral.
"You know what I mean, Alice."
The woman hesitated, clearly distressed - Claire had learned her tells. "You have... memories?"
Claire nodded, finally looking at the woman. "We weren't 'friends' like you said, were we?"
Alice turned words over in her head, trying to figure out how she should answer. Eventually she ended up with, "I don't know what we were, Claire."
Giving a heavy breath, the red head crossed her arms. "Why didn't you ever mention this to me?"
"What good would that have done?" she asked quietly, pain leaking into the words. "You didn't even believe me when I told you your own name. Telling you we were, whatever we were, that seemed like more than you needed on your plate. It was hard enough regaining your trust as it was."
"Okay." She shifted foot to foot, then gave an aquesing nod. "Thanks. I need to go check on a few things for the plan so, I just... I guess I'll see you around."
-------------------
It was a few hours later, and they were preparing the defenses for the tower.
"Maybe... if you'd said something earlier, the memories would have come back sooner."
"There wasn't a guarantee that could have helped." Alice shifted a barrel and
"Perhaps not, but what if it had?"
"It wouldn't have changed anything. We still would have ended up here, regardless." She started to move a box, but Claire's hand on her arm stopped her immediately.
"You're why I was on that beach in Alaska," she whispered, rubbing absently at her chest where the scarab had been, where there were now deep, aching scars. "When Umbrella came, started taking people, I broke free and ran. I knew you'd come back. Maybe not for me specifically, but you'd be back. Of course, I don't remember much after that, not until you found me. But...."
"You couldn't have known that. I was walking into that facility with the thought that I wasn't making it out alive."
"You kissed me," Claire offered a small, sad smile. "I knew you'd find me again."
"You... you remember that?"
"It was cold, deserts are like that at night. It was the night before we set the plan into motion. We were in the Hummer and you just... did it."
"I was tired."
"I'm sure you were."
She knew she'd never seen Alice blush. But here she was, blushing and looking like she'd been caught.
"You were leaving on a suicide mission," she replied softly, her eyes sad as she turned to the other woman.
Alice held her gaze a moment, then glanced away. Were those tears she saw?
"Hey," she placated, opening her arms and drawing the woman's stiff figure in for a hug. Claire burrowed her nose into the taller woman's neck. She breathed deep; the tang of gasoline and sweat and dirt and blood was somehow comforting. "Thank you," she whispered against the column of her throat, "for fighting for me, even when I didn't remember you. For being respectful about what I could and couldn't remember."
She felt a tremble under the embrace, and tightened her hold briefly before letting go and stepping back.
"What about Doc?" she heard the pained words, so so quiet... scared.
Claire shrugged weakly, frowning. "He's nice. We've flirted. But there's nothing there." She reached a hand out, squeezing a bicep briefly. " And since you showed up, since I started getting more memories back, you've been on my mind the most." She hesitated, wondering if she was crossing a line. "Can I kiss you?"
Alice, caught of guard, trembled when she turned to her. "I-" she began, suddenly unable to meet her eyes. "You want to?"
"More than anything," Claire reassured with a smile. This woman could take on zombies, Lickers, Nemesis Nd be scared of a kiss.
"Yea?" Alice glanced up at her, brows furrowed.
Claire reached up, threading her fingers into her short hair, and dragged her down into a kiss. A real one this time.
She kissed her, and seconds in she began to taste salt from tears, and she gently pulled away. The other woman was looking at her so reverently she suddenly couldn't breathe. But there were tear tracks, and Alice looked so damn torn and beautiful. She put her hands on either side of her face, bringing their foreheads together. "I'm so sorry," she felt tears of her own welling in her eyes.
"You don't need to be."
"But I am," she insisted, feeling her own tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "I should have known sooner. Should have remembered us."
"This wasn't your fault; it was Umbrella." Arms wrapped around her, drawing her back in. Alice tucked her chin in against her ear. "I'd have waited for you forever, though. Even if forever never came."
Claire wept, but Alice pulled away, sweeping thumbs across her cheeks to wipe away the tears from her cheeks and offer a warm smile.
"Will you stay with me tonight," she asks softly.
"Of course," she hears, and looks up to see the gentle look from the other woman. "Just let me tuck Becky in."
Claire reaches up, tucking hair behind Alice's ear. God, how had she fallen so hard?