Work Text:
Hair Die
This story is dedicated to Lisa who is Earps_Unicorn on Twitter. Awhile back we had a conversation about whether Nicole is a natural redhead or not. I hope this chapter answers that question!
Nicole feels a twinge of pain in her stomach, and the discomforting warmth in her underwear as she untangles herself from a snoring Waverly in the middle of the night.
Shit.
It’s a hassle to move from the bedroom to the bathroom in the dark. Before she leaves Waverly, she grabs a fresh pair of parties from the drawer and sighs.
She should have seen it coming and put a pad on last night.
Usually she and Waverly are on the same cycle, but she’s been beyond stressed about Ariel’s adoption and the openings of new cases.
She breathes a sigh of relief as she climbs back into bed and puts her clammy arms around Waverly’s cool stomach, exposed under her Purgatory PD T-Shirt she’s stolen from Nicole. Nicole adjusts the waistband of Waverly’s sleep shorts which are way too big for her.
Undisturbed, her girl is sleeping like the angel she is. Nicole peppers kisses onto her shoulder, resting her chin atop Waverly’s head.
She’s clammy and every muscle movement hurts, but she wouldn’t give up an opportunity to hold her Waverly.
“Love you, Wave.” She pulls Waverly’s hair behind her ears and strokes her cheek with her knuckles.
She prays she won’t bleed all over the brand new sheets Waverly insisted they treat themselves to.
They’re sky blue, and the color of Nicole’s uniform top and Ariel’s eyes.
(Nicole could care less about what the sheets on their bed look like. As long as she gets to be in said bed with Waverly.)
Her eyes feel like they weigh a thousand pounds and her head is spinning.
Waverly’s eyes flutter open and she stretches out her arms and legs. Nicole is shivering in her sleep, and she realizes her fiancée must've kicked the blankets off the bed last night.
Her poor baby’s sleep shorts are a tiny bit crimson so she pulls them off and wraps a bonus blanket around Nicole in case Ariel decides to pay them an early morning snuggle session.
“There you go, sweet girl.” Waverly presses a kiss to Nicole’s collarbone and snuggles into her side.
“Sweet girl?” Nicole raises an eyebrow and smirks at the blush that creeps up Waverly’s face.
“I thought I was your best baby and Ariel was your sweet girl.” Nicole’s tongue juts out between her teeth and she makes a clicking noise with her throat.
“Mmmm….I like that name. Both of my girls deserve good names.” Waverly taps Nicole’s mole under her left eye and closes her eyes.
Nicole draws a line with her toes up Waverly’s right leg under the covers.
“Fair enough. I got my period and I feel disgusting. I hope I didn’t bleed through our new sheets. I’m sorry if I did, Wav.”
Waverly shakes her head and cups Nicole’s chin in her hands, relishing how the sunlight illuminates her dark eyes.
“They’re sheets, Nicole. They can be washed. Don’t apologize.”
Nicole pouts, and Waverly flicks her bottom lip up and down with her index finger.
“The Agency is coming tomorrow and it’s just another thing to add to the to-do list.” Nicole closes her eyes and presses a tiny kiss to Waverly’s finger.
“Don’t worry about it baby. I’ll wash them if need be,” Waverly says, reaching under the covers and rubbing Nicole’s tummy.
“You’re too good to me baby, that feels nice. My stomach is cramping like crazy.”
Nicole strokes Waverly’s cheek with her knuckles and giggles. “My boobs are sore too, you know.”
Waverly smirks and brings Nicole’s lips to her own. Maybe Nicole’s proposition would work if they weren’t expecting a certain five year old to pop her head in at any moment and pad into their room.
Nicole cracks a smile because it was worth a shot. Ariel could toddle in at any moment with her little pink walker. Their little visitor likes to come to see them in the morning, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I’m not blaming this on Ariel but…. ”
Waverly snorts and helps Nicole sit up and helps her into the bathroom.
Thank God for Saturday’s.
Ariel sits at the kitchen table with Alice and adds strokes of paint to their masterpiece.
Across the table, Wynonna shoves bites of pancake into her mouth.
“Want some?” She asks with a full mouth, dipping her fork into the syrupy goodness.
“Those were for us, My Nonna! Daddy made them for us, right?” Alice puts down her paintbrush and looks over at her father, who is stirring pancake batter on the stove.
“Those were for the children, Wynonna...but I suppose I could make you girls a chocolate chip pancake surprise.” Doc tips his hat at Alice, who runs into his arms.
“With extra fruit for a funny face? And bacon for the smile?” Doc hoists Alice on his hip and lets her stir the batter. He lets out a groan and starts to tickle his little girl which makes her giggle.
“I reckon, I’ll be in this kitchen all day cooking up a breakfast feast. As long as you little ladies appreciate the work, I will be happy to do it.” As their little spider monkey clings to him, Doc winks at Wynonna who makes a face.
“You are feeding the children. You’re feeding your child who is making my insides squirm. Also, fruit and chocolate chips sound...gross, Alice. Ariel, don’t tell the Agency we give you chocolate in the morning.” Wynonna takes a clean fork from Ariel’s plate and feeds her niece a bite. Ariel’s eyes go wide as she swallows.
Wynonna forgets that Ariel doesn’t always understand jokes and plasters a smile on her face. “I didn’t mean that seriously. You can tell the Agency whatever you want….well… maybe don’t tell them that I suck at telling jokes.”
“They might take your Cool Aunt privileges away, My Nonna.” Alice dips her paintbrush into the pale yellow paint and draws a lopsided heart. Wynonna snorts at her daughter’s remark.
Ariel fills in the yellow heart with light purple paint and grins as she hears footsteps coming down the stairs.
“CoCo? Wavy?” Ariel drops her paintbrush onto their mural and reaches out for her foster mothers as they come into her line of vision.
Nicole presses a kiss to the top of Ariel’s mop of red curls, and Alice’s brown braid, before sitting down at the table next to her future sister in law.
“Hey, Princess, what’cha making?”
Alice starts to answer but clasps her hands over her mouth because she remembers what her Aunties told her.
Try to let Ariel answer for herself.
It’s something they’ve been trying to work on, to integrate Ariel’s speech into social situations with more than one or two people. She does great when speaking around Alice or Nicole or Waverly, but is still pretty shy around Wynonna, Doc, and the rest of the world.
Nicole prays that the social workers don’t put Ariel on the spot tomorrow and give her a question that she can’t answer.
She knows that Ariel has great receptive language, but can’t always express her feelings in words.
“Paint, Co.” Ariel looks up at Nicole with a duh look on her face as her eyebrows narrow.
Waverly appears from the living room with a feather duster in hand. “No one is allowed in there until tomorrow. You hear?” She points an accusatory finger at the Homestead’s messiest inhabitant.
Wynonna salutes to her baby sister and offers her a bite of pancake.
“Aye, Aye, Captain.”
“You’re awfully chipper this morning, Wynonna.” Waverly perches herself on Nicole’s knee at the table.
“Hi, Baby.”
Nicole’s arms slink around Waverly’s waist as her fiancée greets her with a kiss on her shoulder.
Wynonna grins and winks at her sister.
“I am. I slept like a baby. I haven’t slept that good in years. ”
Doc tilts his Stetson toward his family as he places the stirring spoon on the side of the stove and sits on the other side of Wynonna.
“I’ll have you know, most of my night was spent on the floor. She kicked me off the bed...again.”
Wynonna shrugs and presses the palm of her hand to his cheek as she leans her elbows the table.
“You’re outnumbered, Doc. Male opinions don’t matter in this house.” She presses a kiss to his cheek, and watches his cheeks grow red.
“Perhaps we will have one more male in the house soon. I cannot even get a male pet, as the goat and the cat are both females.”
Nicole snorts and tightens her grasp around Waverly’s waist as a cramp ripples through her abdomen.
Wynonna rolls her eyes, and feeds Alice a bite of her pancake. “Good luck with that. You knocked up an Earp for the second time, mind you . We breed girls.”
Alice looks at her mother and father inquisitively as she adds a touch of blue to the mural. “What does knocked up mean?”
“It means your father got me pregnant, honey. It’s just an expression.”
Nicole claps her hand to her forehead. Nothing like her future sister-in-law explaining how babies are made over a pancake breakfast.
“Daddy got you pregnant? I thought you prayed to God and he made you pregnant. How did Daddy get you pregnant?”
“No ‘bows on the table, Auntie NoNo. It’s not polite.” Ariel glares at her Aunt until she rests her hands in her lap.
“Did your kid just call me out, Waves? I like her.”
Waverly tries not to laugh but decides to push her luck.
“Way to go remembering your manners, Ariel. Can you tell me about the picture you and Alice are painting?”
Ariel shakes her arms and purses her lips.
Everyone’s been acting weird around her lately.
“No thank you.” Ariel dips her brush in lime green and pokes Alice on the nose with her brush as her cousin giggles something ferocious.
“No thank you? What about CoCo? Do you want to tell her?”
Ariel shakes her head because their painting this morning is a secret.
Alice wants to give it to the baby once he or she is born because the baby needs to know that she’s going to be the best big sister.
Ariel knows that Alice is the best cousin in the world, so she doesn’t know what her best friend is worried about.
Wavy and CoCo are looking at her with their big eyes and their faces are smiling but Wavy’s eyes look extra crinkly.
CoCo once told her that extra crinkly means sad although Ariel can’t see why.
She doesn’t understand why people don’t show what they mean on their faces.
“Don’t want to answer questions, Mama.”
Waverly’s eyes crinkle up even more, as she rests her head on Nicole’s shoulder. Nicole takes a deep breath and reaches for Ariel’s hand.
“Remember how Mama and I told you that Ms. Leise from the Agency is coming to our house tomorrow for a little while?”
Ariel’s eyes flicker upwards as her cheeks turn red.
“I bad?”
Nicole squeezes Ariel’s hand. “No! Not at all, cutie. Ms. Leise is coming over to check up on Wavy and me. She wants to make sure that we’re good foster Moms, and she’s going to help us adopt you.”
“Don’t want to leave with her.” Ariel crosses her arms and with that, her paintbrush and the paper plate full of paint falls to the ground, splotches of blue, green, yellow, and red decorating the once pristine wooden floor.
“You- Shit.” The word flies out of Nicole’s mouth before she realizes that she’s looking straight at Ariel. Tiny cheeks turn pink and all hell breaks loose as she starts to whimper.
Nicole panics, because her foster daughter just thinks that she called her a shit when what was supposed to come out of her mouth was along the lines of You aren’t leaving with Ms. Leise. I promise.
The whimper turns into a screech as she tries to rush over and take Ariel in her arms.
But Ariel wants nothing to do with her.
“ Shhhhhhh…..Shhhhhh…..You’re okay. You’re okay.” She’s stuck to Waverly like a baby joey in its mother’s pouch.
“CoCo called me a bad name .” Ariel muffles her hands over her ears and sulks into Waverly’s chest. Waverly cups Ariel’s chin in her hands and lifts her face to meet her eyes.
Nicole stares at Waverly as Ariel continues to cry.
“CoCo loves you more than the moon loves the stars. She said that word because you dropped the paint by accident. She didn’t mean it toward you. Do you understand?”
But Ariel keeps crying. Nicole crouches down on her knees next to Ariel.
“I made a mistake Princess. I said that word because I’m feeling a little cranky today. I didn’t mean to get upset, and I don’t want you to think I meant it toward you. I meant it toward the silly paint.”
Ariel tilts her head to the side and lets her eyes wander toward her CoCo.
“You not mad ?”
Nicole shakes her head and tucks a lock of Ariel’s hair behind her ears. “I’m just a little cranky because I’m not feeling well today. You’re not leaving with Ms. Leise tomorrow, Princess. I promise. You’re not leaving with her ever again.”
Ariel nods bends over and picks up the paintbrush, blissfully unaware of the accidental mess she’s created on the floor. Nicole takes this as a good sign.
“Are we best friends again?”
“Same hair means best friends, Co.”
“Okay, Ariel. Tomorrow Ms. Leise might ask you some questions about how you like living here with Waverly and me. If you need help answering, Wavy and I will be there to help you if you want to use your signs instead of words. Or, if you want us to tell her for you, okay?”
Ariel paints blue dots along the edge of the mural. “Don’t want to answer questions.”
Ms. Leise might ask about the mural tomorrow, and Ariel promised not to let the secret slip. But, she supposes she’ll tell Ms. Leise about CoCo and Wavy and how nice they are to her.
They decide not to push it, but Nicole still feels like an idiot as the morning drags on.
After breakfast, and Ariel and Alice are at the table, playing with Play Dough. Alice is trying to make a castle for the Princesses, but Ariel keeps breaking apart her creations, turning them into tiny pink snowmen.
“Ma?”
Nicole opens her eyes as she sees the tiny pink walker leaning against the couch, as Ariel looks down at her. She’s on couch in the living room that she’s not supposed to be in.
She must have fallen asleep somewhere in between Bunk’d and Andi Mack.
“Ariel?” Nicole pulls herself into a sitting position, offering Ariel a spot next to her. She sees the wetness on her daughter’s pajama bottoms before she smells urine. Their baby is terrified of the visit tomorrow as much as they are.
“You asleep, CoCo and I want you.” Ariel points to her soiled pajamas and scrunches up her face.
Nicole scoops up Ariel in her arms, and carries her upstairs to her bedroom as her daughter starts to whimper and wriggle in her arms.
“It’s okay, Princess, Mama and me will get you changed. Do you want to go in the bath?”
Ariel presses her forehead to Nicole’s. “Bubble Barbies with Mama and Ma.” Bubble Barbies is a game where Ariel makes the Barbies perform gymnastics tricks in the bath, and Nicole and Waverly pretend to be the judges. Ten is the highest score a Barbie can get, and ten and ten makes twenty, a perfect score.
Waverly’s inside the tiny bedroom, folding her daughter and niece’s clothing into two neat piles.
“Look who’s up,” she smiles, pecking a kiss on Nicole’s lips.
“Look who’s up.” Ariel repeats the phrase to herself, copying her CoCo and giving Wavy a peck on the lips. She wriggles as Nicole strips her of her undies and bottoms, and places her in the tub.
Her CoCo sits on the toilet, and her Wavy sits at the edge of the tub as she scrubs the shampoo and conditioner into her hair. She watches the water woosh back and forth, back and forth until it’s all too fast and dizzy.
There’s Wavy’s voice, and CoCo’s, and then the sound of the Barbies splashing in the water.
Too much. Her mom used to leave her in the bath until the water turned chilly.
Want to get out. She’d say, struggling to keep her head above the water.
Then, Get yourself out, Ariel. Mom. Mom. Mom.
Can’t climb out. Her legs won’t work. Her legs won’t move.
Her mom used to fill the tub up to the top, and let Ariel float, float, float away.
Ariel pinches the skin between her thumb and forefinger together and scrapes her nails across her palm until they make a bloody indentation.
“Princess, no. ” Nicole shuts her eyes and pulls Ariel’s hands apart as the little girl grunts. “We don’t hurt ourselves. That doesn’t make CoCo happy.”
Ariel doesn’t notice the blood but continues to whimper and thrash as arms as Nicole lifts her out of the tub.
“What is wrong, sweet girl? Are you feeling okay?” Waverly reaches out to Ariel, which proves a mistake as the little girl slides her nails down her Mama’s bare arm, leaving a gash. Waverly is shell shocked as Nicole restrains their daughter again.
“ Ma ’s here, Ariel. Mama is too. We’ve both got you. You’re safe. You’re okay.” Nicole rocks Ariel back and forth in her arms, as Waverly pushes Ariel’s curls off of her sweaty face.
Ariel presses her hands to her ears to block away the noises and yells for her Ma or Mama or CoCo or Wavy or someone to get her out of the tub. She doesn’t realize that she already is out.
“ Hard day-”
“Maybe pressure will help baby, try to hold her.”
She’s wrapped in a big yellow towel with her CoCo on one side and Wavy on the other.
Her CoCo’s sat sideways, touching her face and chin, and Wavy’s leaning against her, cradling Ariel’s body in her arms.
Everything stops moving and the world stops spinning.
It’s the three of them at this moment, keeping the tiniest one’s world at a standstill until she’s ready.
Ariel hears her Mama singing to her with a quiet voice like she learned in school, and feels her Ma running her fingers through her hair.
“Do you feel sad, Ariel? Mad? Scared?” Ma’s brown eyes stare at her like she might break. As her Ma bends down, she notices something.
Scared, scared, scared is how she feels with Mom. Happy is how she feels with CoCo and Wavy. She knows she’s happy because she feels it in her heart and shows it on her face.
“Gray.” Ariel pulls at a strand of Nicole’s hair and marvels at how the roots of her Ma’s hair do not match her own. Instead of bright red, the section of her CoCo’s hair is the color of Dumbo the elephant.
“Do I have gray?” Ariel reaches to touch her scalp and parts the red curls.
“No, sweetheart. I have parts of gray in my hair because I’m getting old.”
“But we don’t match,” Ariel whines. “We always match.” She buries her head in her CoCo’s chest.
“You don’t want to be as old as me, Ariel. You should enjoy being a kid for now. If you’re as old as me, then that makes me even older.” Nicole stares at Ariel’s palm and looks at Waverly. Ariel has never tried to hurt herself before. Waverly nudges Nicole, and as she looks down, she sees their daughter fast asleep in the yellow fluffy towel.
They tuck her under the covers and sit on the edge of her bed hand in hand. Waverly leans her head on Nicole’s shoulder.
“Well, I guess we have to talk about that tomorrow. She’s so anxious and I’m scared her anxieties are interfering with her happiness. She’s five years old and she feels things, Nicole. She knows more about loss than she has to and….”
Nicole presses a kiss to Waverly’s cheek and slowly tilts her lips toward her own.
“I love you, Waverly. I love you and her so much, and I think you’re letting yourself become anxious about her wellbeing when we both know that we’re doing the best we can with her diagnosis. We’re doing better than okay. I’d say she’s thriving, and the majority of the reason for that is because of you.”
“I’m sure you have something to do with it too, baby.” Waverly slinks her arms around Nicole’s waist as her finacee taps her on the nose. “Who gets her up in the morning? Who makes her breakfast and puts Lucky Charms and Cheerios in a separate bowl so they don’t touch? Who runs her bath and tells her bedtime stories when I work late? You’re her rock, Waverly. You figured out that she was crying last night because she wanted 102 Dalmatians instead of 101.”
“C’mon,” Waverly giggles taking a strand of Nicole’s red hair in her fingers. “Oddball makes the second movie cuter.”
“You know there are service dogs for kids with Autism? Ariel would probably love one because she gets along well with animals. I looked them up last night.” Nicole looks at her little girl, fast asleep under her blankets and fluffy towel. She wishes she could make life easier for her.
“I’m sure there are a lot of benefits, baby. Socially for sure, because she’d love to tell everyone about her new dog.” Waverly squeezes Nicole’s hands, as her girlfriend looks down at the tiny marks Ariel’s fingernails made.
“I think that they can help reduce self injurious behaviors, too. We should bring it up during the meeting tomorrow.”
Waverly nods, and thinks about the thousands of topics that could be brought up tomorrow. Autism. Dogs. Visitation. Ariel’s diet. Ariel’s school accommodations. Ariel’s self-stimulatory behaviors. Ariel’s anxiety. Ariel’s relationship with the both of them.
Nicole’s voice brings Waverly out of her trance. “Do you think that I should dye my hair tonight? I can run to the store now. Hopefully they’ll have my shade in stock.”
Waverly shrugs and grins at Nicole. “Gray hair makes you look older and wiser, right? It’s just a couple of strands. You’re still my second favorite redhead.”
Nicole pouts, and raises her eyebrows. “I have too many brown roots popping out. Ariel will be devastated when she finds out that I was brunette as a kid.”
Waverly smiles softly and her eyes crinkle up. “If she really wants to be just like you, we’ll have to sign her up for T-Ball in the spring.”
“I want a sports baby so badly.” Nicole can already picture Ariel hitting the ball into the outfield. “Or a cheer baby like you if that’s what she wants,” she says dejectedly once she sees the look on Waverly’s face. “I guess I’m dying it in a week,” she says, picking wistfully at her strands of hair.
Ariel’s eyes pop open from under the covers.
I guess I’m dying in a week.
CoCo’s going to die in a week. That’s why she got so upset today. That’s why she wanted to know what Ariel was painting, because she might not be here to see the finished product.
CoCo’s going to die, and it’s probably all of Ariel’s fault. Maybe if CoCo wasn’t sad about the visit tomorrow she wouldn’t die.
CoCo’s going to die, and Ariel will be left all alone with Wavy. She loves Wavy, but she knows that Wavy will be sad once CoCo is gone, because CoCo is supposed to marry Wavy and they love each other a lot. She wonders if the wedding will be sometime this week.
CoCo’s going to die, and Ariel is determined to make her final week on Earth the best one yet. That means answering questions during the home visit and trying to walk better.
Later that evening, Ariel asks to tell her own bedtime story. Nicole writes the words down on a piece of white paper so that Ariel can illustrate it the next day.
“Once upon a time there was a little girl named Ariel who had red hair and blue eyes like the princess.”
“She was kind of heart, and good to everyone she met.” Waverly runs her hands through Ariel’s scrunched up curls.
“I love you CoCo. Even if you’re going to die next week.” Ariel interrupts the story and throws her arms around her Ma’s waist.
“What? Die? I’m perfectly healthy sweetheart.” Nicole frowns and stares into her daughter’s perplexed blue eyes.
Ariel shakes her head and looks back and forth toward her CoCo and Wavy.
“No. You said it before. You said it, Ma.” Ariel squeezes her fists and bites the inside of her mouth. Nicole unclenches her daughter’s tiny fists.
“What did I say?”
“You said, ‘ I’m dying next week.’ That’s the truth, Ma.” Nicole bites her lip at her daughter’s remark and closes her eyes.
She’s not going to laugh. She will not laugh.
“My hair. I’m going to dye my hair next week.” Nicole stares at Waverly in disbelief. Ariel takes things literally. She should not have said that.
“You dye your hair? It’s not really red?” Ariel’s eyes soften.
“You were awake? I thought you were sleeping!” Nicole throws her arms around Ariel and snuggles her into her chest. “I’m not dying, Princess. In fact, I’m trying to eat healthier so that I can live for a very long time and take care of your Mama and you.”
“You take care of Mama? I thought you only take care of me because I’m a kid.” Ariel shrugs, and pulls her Tangled storybook from her bedside table.
She hands the pink and purple book to Waverly. “I want this story, Mama. Mine is boring. Who would want to read a story about me?”
“I thought you’d be a little more excited about me not dying , Ariel.” Nicole pulls Ariel’s hair into a messy bun atop her head.
“I thought we were hair twins, but I guess not, Ma. ” The little girl pouts and tries to pull her Ma’s hair into a matching bun.
“C’mon you two. I think we all need some sleep for our big day tomorrow.” Waverly drops a kiss to Ariel’s cheek and one on Nicole’s lips.
“ Sleep?” Ariel spreads out her fingers and moves them down her face to make the sign.
“How did I know you would want a sleepover with your Ma and me tonight?” Waverly giggles as Nicole lets Ariel climb onto her back like a monkey.
“You can stay with us tonight, baby. You can stay with us always.” As Waverly walks behind Nicole and Ariel down the hallway to their bedroom, she thinks about the Agency visit tomorrow and the smile on Ariel’s face.
A rough day with their little girl had a happy ending.
Everything will be okay. They’re a family, and no one can tell them otherwise.