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“Nobody cares about me anymore, so why should I keep trying?” a scream heard from his next door. A sound of someone throwing glassware.
He glanced to the room on his side. The door was slightly opened. He frowned.
Newt knew the girl who lived there. She’s new, she just moved a while ago. She had a sweet smile. They never really talk to each other.
Two weeks ago, she caught him smuggling an injured feral kitten. Their landlord was very insistent about the rule for not bringing any animal into the flat. If he made more money from his job, he would definitely search for another flat. But he was on a budget, so he had to be cautious when bringing little animals to his room, usually to foster them until they’re old enough to be put into adoption.
This girl looked at him and raised her eyebrows. She’s as tall as him with long, dark hair. He tried to hide the kitten inside his jacket ineffectively. The kitten meowed loudly as he stumbled looking for his keys. She sniffled watching him opened his door. “Mrow!” she whispered, a smile on her face.
He never asked her name, she never asked his, yet he felt grateful to his neighbour. She didn’t tell the landlord about him and they exchanged smile every time they passed on each other. On some rainy days, she wore a leather long coat that suited her complexion very much.
But they never talk, not even a word since her “mrow”. Newt was comfortable in his solitude and too tired to socialize after interning all day as a veterinary assistant and volunteering on an animal rehabilitation centre.
He opened his door and put his groceries down on the kitchen. He stared on the floor. Should he ask her if there was anything he can help? Should he visit her? Is it weird to do something like that?
He waited. A rough sob and a familiar tone can be heard through the wall. Well, it won’t hurt just to see if she was okay. Besides, he would feel bad if he ignored her sobbing the entire night through his wall.
Newt grabbed a chocolate bar from the bag and walked to her door, standing in front of it without knocking. He leaned his body to the wall. She can be seen from the narrow space between the door and the wall.
Her room was a mess. She wiped her face as she looked at her phone, her eyes swollen red. Ella Fitzgerald was blasted on her speaker. Angel Eyes. Her hand trembled as it supported her body to stand. Her long hair caught in her mouth as she turned her body. She danced, her smile crooked and her dark eyes blank, she swayed abnormally passionate as she threw sofa cushion across the room.
Suddenly, she threw her phone to her bed angrily. It bounced to her pillow. She stared into it for half a minute before she sighed, turned her back and their eyes met.
They both looked away. But she stepped closer to him. “Oh! Did I disturb you? I’m sorry, I’ll turn the music down,” she said in her American accent.
Newt glanced at her, feeling bad after watching her sad dance unintentionally. “Hi. Thought you might need this,” he held the chocolate bar up, smiling awkwardly.
She stared at his hand for a couple seconds before tying her robe and actually walked to him, pulling her door opened. “I’m really sorry—”
“Is everything alright?” he asked as he realized about something. Of course everything was not alright for her. “Sorry, that was... rhetoric,” he said, gazing over her room. She looked down, clearly embarrassed as she closed her door a little more.
He handed her the chocolate. She hesitated, her eyes went back between his eyes and his hand but ended up taking it from him. The tip of her mouth curved upwards. “Thanks,” she gazed to his eyes.
He did not know what to say. Do you want to tell a stranger about your problem? He’ll listen to you. Do you want to see my foster kitten? She’s so cute you’ll forget your problems in a second. They stood silently on her door, glancing on each other before finally, Newt gave up and said, “I’m sorry for interfering. I’ll be next door if you ever need something,” he gave her his most reassuring smile (or so he thought) and turned back to walk to his room.
Seriously, Newt, that was not weird at all and why would you thought that she might want to talk to you? She needs some private time, obviously.
Newt was about to open his door when she called him. He looked back at her. She took a deep breath then asked, “Do you… do you want to come inside?”
“Newton Scamander, isn’t it?” she asked as she poured both of them a full glass of wine. He raised his eyebrows but didn't say a thing. “A delivery guy mistook my door as yours once.”
His eyes followed the messy trail she left on every surface of the room. He could see that the usual state of her room was not this messy. Everything was in order, except for a few pieces of clothes on the floor, couch pillows scattered around the flat, and a broken faced-down frame beside her bed.
She turned the music down. “Thank you for this,” she nodded, breaking a piece of the chocolate and ate it. She handed Newt a small part of the chocolate.
“Newt,” he told her. “Sorry, I never caught your name.”
She sat on the couch beside him. She smiled at him, and it looked like a relieved smile. “It’s Tina. Actually, Newt,” she added, “don’t you have anything more important than visiting your noisy neighbour?”
“No. I don’t have anything today. I just want to make a point that… that maybe someone actually cares about you,” he said. Realizing his words, he shifted awkwardly while sipping his wine. “I mean… that someone maybe not me, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care at all—” he stopped as he thought about his words, “I should've not talked about that. I overheard you, Tina, I’m sorry. I also have this kind of word-vomit disease.”
Tina smiled sadly, her gaze fell to the couch. “I appreciate that,” she looked back at him. “Very much. I think maybe that was the lowest point of my life, and I couldn't really think straight.”
A pause between them. She looked a bit more composed than half an hour ago.
Newt hesitated. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it?” he asked.
She laughed without humour after processing his question. “I’m sorry, the last time someone asked me something like that, I chose to be distracted by them and ended up waking up in their bed the next morning,” she told him. “That was a really long time ago, though,” she added.
“Oh no, no no, I mean, uh—,” he stammered, his face felt hot, “Do you know that actually, playing with a kitten can release your endorphins. Makes you happy. So, your choice is... talking or a kitten.”
A little smile formed on her face. “You’re still keeping the kitten?”
Newt nodded his head. “She's four weeks old. A singleton calico, I can't find her siblings anywhere. Waited hours for her mum. Poor baby.”
Tina stared at him, her eyes narrowed. “Are you always like this? Picking up lonely kittens and women?”
That made him moved awkwardly on his seat. “No?” he laughed, confused. “Feral kittens, literal kittens, yes, a lot, with occasional injured puppies or birds, but not humans. Mostly they think I'm annoying, so I try to stay away from them,” he added.
She still smiling at him before said to him, “My boss thought the same about me too,” she said quietly. “I just lost my job. Apparently doing the right thing is not their favourite thing. They only want money.”
Her head was hanging weakly on her neck. “And apparently my boyfriend has been sleeping around with his co-workers for a year! And I know nothing about that, until yesterday! Isn’t that great? I’m so disgusted with myself.”
Tina said that without any visible emotion on her voice, except the fact that her whole body was shaking. She hid from Newt’s gaze, obviously sobbing as she wiped her nose with her robe. Puzzled, he raised his hand to touch her shoulder but she gestured her hand, asking him not to touch her. They sat in silence as she took a couple of deep breaths, calming her own self.
Five minutes passed as she put up her index finger, asking him to keep silent as she controlled her breath and wiped her face clean.
Newt believed that whatever happened with her life, it was more complicated than what she told him. She looked at him with puffy eyes and red nose. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a mess.“
“It’s okay, really, I don’t mind,” he smiled. He felt like useless. He didn’t know how to make her feel better and that made him feel bad. He cuddled a terrified baby elephant to help it sleep but he really didn’t know what to do to reassure a human species.
Tina stared at him, her eyes opened wide as if trying to look strong and mad, but her body was barely holding on. He smiled weakly at her, not really sure what to do, until she said, “Do you mind… If I’m asking you to hug me?”
Newt shook his hand and moved closer. He hugged her and she embraced him, quietly, hardly keeping her breath steady, almost like someone who’s been running for 30 minutes. Her body was unnaturally stiff on his arms. She breathed. Breathed, breathed, and sobbed. A tremble ran through her body. She was gasping for air as she held him closer. She started quietly, holding back her tears until he tightened his hug and the first rolled tear broke her wall down.
Tina was crying uncontrollably on his shoulder, choked on her own breath, her scream muffled. Her body was shaking violently, her hand reached past him, hitting the empty air. She cried with a force of someone vomiting their guts out. It was painful for Newt to watch her like this. He could feel her tears soaking through his sweater. He could feel her stuttered as she drew breath, he could feel her fingers clenched tightly on his body. He held her still on his arm, for a long time.
He could hear the clock ticking again after a few minutes. She rested her head on his shoulder, hiccupping from breath to breath. Her eyes stared blankly into nothing as he caressed her back.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
She nodded. She repositioned herself on his body, her head lying close with his neck. He felt the big wave had passed through her, leaving her with tired breath and tears traces. She looked at his sweater, touching his shoulder.
“I’ll laundry your clothes. I’m really sorry, Newt.”
He frowned. “You don’t need to, it’s okay,” he waved his hand. “I’ll make you a hot drink, do you want something?”
Her hand tugged his arm closer. “No, please just… just stay here for awhile.”
Tina nuzzled comfortably on his neck, her breath ran steadily on his skin. It was weird because usually, he felt uneasy with human contact, but now he was comfortable enough to caress her tangled hair unmindedly.
“How does fostering kittens feel like?” she asked him, a slight amusement can be heard from her voice.
“It feels like having a cat but they stay tiny all the time,” he said, “except you have to make sure that you're feeding them every couple hours or so. This one is starting to wean, and it's so entertaining to watch them move their tongue like they're still nursing.”
He laughed and continued, “I have a video of it… somewhere on my phone…,” he reached his phone on his trousers. Tina looked up, her eyes following his hand.
“Look!” he played an overexposure video of his little kitten eating a portion of wet food. “Oh, I love calicos. They're my favourite.”
Newt showed her the pictures of his past fosters, his rescued babies, proudly. He also showed her their adult pictures from their adopters. They both laughed as he played a video of cats on catnip. He told her about his love for helping living creatures. She told him about her passion for her work in a law firm. Moving around alone from New York to Paris, New York again, and then to London two months ago because her company asked her to. But apparently it all for nothing. Ended up alone; she's always alone.
He found out later that with all the achievement she had been gotten, Tina's still younger than him. Newt told her about this in awe. She responded by saying, “You have yours too! Look at all the animal you've rescued. They all living their best now!”
It made him feel a bit happy.
Later they did make a hot drink after chugging their wine down. Newt made them hot chocolates and they cuddled on the sofa with a blanket until his phone vibrated loudly on her glass tabletop.
Tina was peeking on the screen. The screen said Rosa's medication! Late night meal!
She smiled. “Maybe you should go home? It's late and even though I really enjoyed your company,” her eyes stared at his shoulder, “I might need to get some rest tonight. And a hot bath,” she added, smiling to him.
He pulled the blanket away. “How are you feeling right now?”
Tina took a deep breath before answered, “Much better. Thank you… thank you for coming, Newt. Thank you for your time.”
A heartbeat.
He smiled and stroke her hair, their gaze lingering on each other. She sat still on her position as if she didn't want to let him go.
But she did get up, after a moment.
“Is it weird that I feel like I’ve known you for quite some time?” she asked as they walked to her door.
Newt looked back at her. “Do you mean like, three hours?”
She let out a small laugh. “No. More like three years, maybe?”
They stood in front of her door, gazing into each other. “You know,” he started, before losing his courage, “That can be realized.”
“Meaning?” she smiled as sweetly as she usually did. A weight dropped on Newt’s stomach. He smiled back.
“Getting to know me. If you want,” he added as he raised his shoulders.
She did not directly answer him; instead, she was staring again. Her eyes were puffy, but there was twinkle on her gaze. Her lips were dry and cracked, but a lovely smile formed on its edges. He knew that she felt better.
“Let’s started tomorrow, breakfast at 8.30? Not too early, right? I’ve noticed you already out on eight during the weekends?” she said.
He smiled, his heart was racing a bit. “I’ll feed my kitten then I’ll get you. Don’t forget to bring your leather coat. I’ll bring the umbrella.”