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She feels the colonel’s presence behind her long before his shadow falls over her. Her eyes are closed but she knows he’s watching her, studying her, a light grin shaping his lips.
“Carter,” he finally says. “Whatcha doin’?”
She smiles in response. “Nothing.”
“Nothing,” he repeats, and even though her eyes remain closed she hears him moving around, drawing ever closer. She’s lying on the warm, soft grass, a light breeze taking the heat out of the sunshine on her skin which has been stained a shade of light pink. She hears his knees pop as he sits on the ground beside her but she doesn’t move from her position. She’s comfortable and relaxed and content.
“Are you at least having fun?”
Her smile widens. “As a matter of fact, sir, I am.”
It’s the truth. When she, the colonel and Teal’c realized they were going to be stranded on P4X-234 for a few days until the SGC got the second gate online, Sam initially had reservations about what she would do during that time, but she quickly managed to get over those uncertainties and just… take it easy.
“Huh.”
She cracks open an eye and turns her head a fraction to look up at him. He’s sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands restless as he twists and turns a long blade of grass between his fingers. Sam forces her gaze back to the side of his face that she can see.
“What?”
He turns his head and looks down at her, a warmth in his eyes that makes her breath catch. “Never thought I’d see the day when Samantha Carter has fun – doing absolutely nothing.”
He grins then, and despite herself, Sam feels herself blush, so she closes her eyes again and turns her face towards the sky, but she knows he can still see the tinge on her cheeks and the smile that he’s caused.
“Believe it or not, I do know how to have fun, colonel.”
“Ah, but does it always involve doohickeys or something science-related?”
She shrugs nonchalantly. “Not always.”
“Really?”
She feels him straighten slightly beside her and she chuckles at the doubt that laces his question so she pulls herself into a sitting position, her hands pressing into the ground behind her as she leans back.
“Yes, sir. Really.”
“Like what?” The doubt in his voice has been replaced by curiosity.
“I have a motorcycle.”
“I – you – what?”
She treats him to a fully-fledged grin. “Yes, sir. A 1940 Indian.”
A low appreciative whistle escapes Jack’s lips. “I always knew you were a speed demon.”
She laughs at his statement. “I don’t get a lot of free time to take her out on the road,” she admits, missing the look of adoration that’s now on her commanding officer’s face. “But it’s fun when I do.”
“You’ve been holding out on me, Carter.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” But they both know her apology isn’t genuine because there’s nothing to apologize for. “Next time we have a team night, I’ll take you for a spin.”
He chuckles. “I’m going to hold you to that offer.”
They’ve fallen into a comfortable silence when Jack finally nudges her knee with his. “So, you’ve got a sweet ride, but what else does my major get up to for fun?”
“Umm,” she hesitates. “I try and spend time with Cassie. That’s always fun… but that’s about it.” She feels him watching her and she grimaces. “I honestly don’t have a lot of time for ‘fun’, sir.”
“You could if you left the base every once in a while.”
She huffs out a breath at the turn in conversation. She knows that he’s right and she appreciates that he is just looking out for her, but she honestly is happy loitering around the base on her downtime or throwing herself into a new science project.
“What about you, sir?”
“Hmm?”
“What do you classify as ‘fun’?”
“My cabin in Minnesota.”
She’s taken aback by the immediacy of his answer and she thinks he’s surprised himself too, because he quickly shrugs and adds, “I don’t get up there as much as I’d like. But it’s fun when I do.”
“And you talk about me!”
“Hey! At least I leave the base and go home most nights.”
There’s no anger in his retort, and he nudges Sam’s knee again when she rolls her eyes.
“So, aside from fishing,” she hedges. “What makes your cabin so enjoyable?”
Sam notices how he gets this distant look in his eye, almost as if he’s reminiscing over the good memories he’s made in Minnesota, but he remains quiet for so long, she isn’t quite sure if he even remembers she’s there.
“There’s a few walks nearby, but it’s not about trying to find things to do,” he explains as he straightens his legs and leans back on his hands, the tip of his fingers just millimeters from hers. “It’s just about getting away from… everything.”
“Getting back to nature?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “There’s no pesky phone calls asking us to save the world, there’s no bad guys wanting to kill us. There’s no rules and regulations to live by.”
He utters the final words so quietly, Sam almost misses them. But she doesn’t, and the only response her brain manages to formulate is, “Oh.”
The colonel lifts a shoulder in an attempt at a shrug, but it doesn’t ease the tension that’s settled.
“Can I ask you a question, sir?”
“Sure.”
“Why –” She stops abruptly. She wants to ask why he asked her to join him this time, but instead she settles for, “It’s nothing.”
Jack raises a brow. “It isn’t nothing, Sam. It’s clearly something.”
“Should it be anything?” she fires back.
“Do you want it to be?”
Her eyes snap to his, but his expression is blank and she wants to laugh and cry and yell in frustration all at once over how he can hide his emotions away so easily.
She hesitates over her answer and she reckons her indecision shows on her face too because then his eyes soften, giving her just the smallest glimpse of how he really feels underneath his supposed calm exterior. It fills her with excitement, and fear, and curiosity.
“Do you want it to be?”
She hates herself for throwing his question back at him, but he isn’t annoyed or disappointed. He just flashes a self-effacing smile and glances at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Do you really need to ask? I’m a simple man, Carter.”
The implications of his statement hit her hard and she inhales sharply, her mind spinning at what he hasn’t said as opposed to what he has.
“Jack –”
His head whips round at the sound of his name falling from her lips and only for the seriousness of the moment, Sam resists the urge to laugh at the look of shock on his face, but he quickly masks the feeling and a smug grin appears.
“Samantha?” he drawls and she suddenly feels like fireworks have been set off inside her chest.
“Would I like the cabin?”
He regards her carefully for a moment before he looks away, the faintest glimmer of amusement on his face. “You betcha.”
“Did you have any plans – for this occasion?”
She feels him tense beside her for just a split second as his gaze focuses on the still lake in front of them. “Yeah, I did.”
Suddenly, Sam feels guilty for turning down his invitation. To be honest, a part of her didn’t believe his invite was genuine – that he didn’t really want her to join him at his cabin and he’d only offered to be polite. But now she realizes she was wrong.
Which throws up the other conundrum she’s wrestled with ever since the morning he’d dropped by her lab. The fact that a part of her really did want to go to Minnesota with him, but decided it would be safer if she stayed at home, hundreds of miles away, where duty and honor ruled.
“I wanted to say yes,” she says suddenly and his attention shifts to her again, his eyes roaming her face.
“I know,” he eventually murmurs.
“I just – it’s not –” she stops and sighs in frustration.
“It’s not for nothing,” he offers quietly, as if reading her mind.
“Yeah,” she whispers.
Silently, the colonel curls his fingers into the grass, before flexing them and letting them brush over Sam’s. She doesn’t tense or pull away at the contact and she watches as he deftly twists his wrist so his fingers capture hers. He gives them a light squeeze.
“One day, Sam,” he promises. “One day.”
She gives his fingers a light squeeze in return and smiles. “Sounds like fun.”