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Andrew stared down at his body lying motionlessly on the metal slab. A white sheet covered him from the top of his chest all the way down, hiding most of the damage that had been inflicted. Andrew’s face almost looked serene like that, completely slack, but the skin exposed was gray and bloodless. He’d only been dead for a couple hours, but what little life his skin still had was leeched away by the dim lighting in the morgue.
The crash was brutal. Andrew remembered clicking Tilda’s seatbelt off before violently jerking the wheel hard enough to send it careening into the median. The car jolted and Andrew was thrown against his own seatbelt before his head collided with the glass window hard enough to shatter both the window and his skull. Before that, he’d been arguing with Tilda. He could perfectly recall the moment she realized who was actually in the car with her, who’s body she really painted with bruises – Andrew, instead of Aaron. Her features had twisted with shock, and then fear when she realized what Andrew planned to do.
The force of the crash ejected Tilda from her seat out the windshield when there was no seatbelt to stop her from flying forward. She presumably died on impact. Andrew was airlifted to the hospital but he didn’t make it as far as the helicopter landing on the roof before he succumbed to his injuries. It didn’t hurt — Andrew didn’t feel a thing after the initial collision. He didn’t feel a twinge the entire time the paramedics strapped him to a stretcher and did their best to staunch the bleeding from the various wounds in Andrew’s body. Andrew knew there was no saving him at that point; he watched all of this impassively from the sidelines, already severed from his body.
Now he waited for Aaron to show up at the hospital and identify his and Tilda’s bodies. He assumed the hospital had called Luther after the crash, considering he was Tilda’s brother and all, and someone needed to give Aaron a ride since he didn’t have his license and Andrew had just demolished the only car.
Andrew didn’t mean to die — really, he didn’t. He knew it was a possibility the moment he started planning to get rid of Tilda, but it was inconsequential at worst. Andrew needed to protect Aaron, therefore Tilda needed to die so she couldn’t hit Aaron anymore. Andrew was just collateral damage. A casualty. It didn’t matter what happened to himself, as long as Aaron was safe in the end. That was the only important thing.
The door behind him cracked open and a blade of white light illuminated the small room. Andrew heard two sets of footsteps and quiet voices as the people entered, casting long shadows over Andrew’s body. One of the people walked right through Andrew and adjusted the sheet over his body on the table. The white lab coat gave him away – the doctor who stitched Andrew’s body back together and cleaned him up after he was pronounced dead. The other person lingered behind, dragging his feet as he approached the metal table. Aaron didn’t get any closer than a foot before rocked to a halt.
Aaron’s face was drawn and pale. Andrew wasn’t sure if it was because of his mother’s drugs leaving his system or from the shock of losing both Mommy Dearest and his long-lost brother at the same time. Either way, his face crumpled when he dragged his red-rimmed eyes toward Andrew’s prone form. The doctor leaned down and asked if he recognized the body. It was a stupid question, anyone with eyes could see that Andrew and Aaron were twins, even with the fresh bruises and stitches on Andrew’s face and the older bruises on Aaron’s. They were identical.
Aaron’s throat worked for a long moment before he gave a single nod, his glassy eyes never leaving the metal table where Andrew’s body lay. The doctor said something again, but Andrew wasn’t listening. He was too busy studying his brother.
He wondered if Aaron figured it out. It was no coincidence that Andrew sent Aaron to a study session in Andrew’s clothes, then hours later both Andrew and Tilda die in a car accident. He had to have known. But if Aaron knew, he didn’t give any indication.
The doctor only let Aaron stay in the room for a couple minutes longer; long enough for him to identify Andrew and Tilda before he gently led Aaron out with a hand on his shoulder.
When Aaron went home, Andrew followed.
Andrew had to admit that watching over Aaron while he only had a remnant of his body was a lot harder than he thought it would be. In the movies, ghosts could move things around or even possess other people. But Andrew couldn’t even touch anything. He couldn’t even feel the breeze on his skin. He was devoid of sensation, a flickering image, and nothing more.
Luther and Maria somehow found it in their hearts to decide to take Aaron in, but cousin Nicky moved down from Germany and became Aaron’s legal guardian instead. Andrew wanted to sneer. He was protecting Aaron, and he didn’t need anyone else’s help. Though Andrew had to admit, Nicky was better than his parents. Within weeks, he’d bought them a house with only two rooms and registered Aaron for Junior year of high school.
The months following his death, Andrew didn’t feel much of anything. He didn’t know if that was because he was dead, or because he was already so close to lifeless before he was, well, lifeless that he just felt carved out inside. Empty. He decided that it didn’t matter, because after months of trying Andrew was learning how to move things around.
It was hard, moving something when you didn’t have a tangible hand to move it with. Mostly he could just nudge an object an inch to one side, and even that took some practicing. Once, when Aaron decided to get a girlfriend, Andrew was so angry he shattered a light bulb in the kitchen and flung a glass to the opposite end of the room. Not only was it the first time he felt anything in months, but it was the first time he was able to move something with just his mind.
After that, Andrew worked on trying to move other things, without the crutch of anger to support him. Eventually he was able to grasp things long enough to move them from room to room; a cup from one end of the kitchen to the other, the TV remote when Nicky was looking for it, the bottle of pills Aaron kept hidden under his bed. Andrew hid the pills the most. Every time Aaron found them in some random part of the house, Andrew would just steal them again. Aaron never brought it up to Nicky, even though Andrew knew he thought Nicky was the one moving them around.
Once Andrew was strong enough, he stole a couple cans of green beans and ravioli and hid them in the bathroom cabinet upstairs. Then when Aaron walked past, Andrew mustered up every bit of strength he had and shoved Aaron inside the bathroom, swung the door shut behind him, and locked it. Aaron had banged on the door for hours, but whenever Nicky tried to let him out, Andrew pushed him away too. He wasn’t about to let anyone get in the way of him getting Aaron off the drugs.
Inside the bathroom, Aaron flung the cans around and refused to eat. He was already sick from the drugs and feverish from being forced off of them. Occasionally he would mutter or yell out, but mostly he just banged on the door and tried to find a way out. More than once, Andrew heard him bargaining for Nicky to let him out, but Andrew wouldn’t let Nicky anywhere near the bathroom. At some point during the withdrawal, Aaron curled up in the bathtub and cried. Andrew thought it was just the drugs flushing out of Aaron’s system, but he heard his own name in the form of a quiet whimper from Aaron’s mouth.
Andrew inclined his head. He didn’t think Aaron would mourn him. Aaron only knew Andrew for a couple months before the accident, and Andrew killed his mother, after all. Before Andrew could ponder it further, Aaron looked up over the rim of the bathtub and caught Andrew’s gaze. His eyes widened.
“A-Andrew?” he stuttered in disbelief. When Andrew said nothing, Aaron’s face contorted. “You asshole! You took the only thing I had away from me! You died and left me alone!” Aaron lunged toward Andrew, stumbling out of the bathtub, and hurled another dented can of ravioli at his head, but it passed right through him. Aaron started to scream again, banging and kicking his feet and yelling nonsensical things. After five minutes of the temper tantrum, Aaron collapsed against the floor and began to sob. Andrew decided to leave him be.
Footsteps up the stairs and down the hall alerted Andrew to Nicky’s arrival. Andrew blinked and he was out of the bathroom and blocking Nicky’s path. He didn’t expect Nicky to stop, but he skidded to a halt right before he passed through Andrew. His eyes were wide with horror and his mouth moved wordlessly. Andrew glared and gave Nicky a sharp shove backward, sending him toppling into the wall behind him.
Two days later, when Aaron was out of the bathroom and he and Nicky had time to discuss what happened, a stranger came to the house with burning herbs that made Andrew’s head all fuzzy. One minute, Andrew was somewhere in the living room, avoiding the smoke, and the next he was in complete darkness. Andrew stayed in the darkness for days, maybe weeks, before he was able to go back again.
When Andrew found himself in the house again, he was angry that Nicky and Aaron tried to send him away. In retaliation, Andrew pushed Aaron’s bookshelf over and scattered the books across the room. When Aaron got home from school, Andrew awaited his reaction to the mess.
Aaron hadn’t given any indication that he could see Andrew since that night in the bathroom, but now he slumped on his bed staring at the searched the room, completely ignoring Andrew’s handiwork. “Andrew?” he asked the empty room, his voice pitched low so he didn’t alert Nicky getting ready for work downstairs. “Are you there?”
Yes, idiot, Andrew tried to say, but while his mouth moved, no words came out. When Andrew couldn’t make a noise, he knocked an open can of soda off of Aaron’s desk where it spilled orange liquid over the floor. Aaron’s head snapped to the clatter. He watched the soda seep into the carpet and made a strangled noise that could have been Andrew’s name.
It was easier to protect Aaron after that, since Aaron knew he existed and Andrew had gained control of his abilities as a ghost. When one of Aaron’s former dealers jumped him with two other guys after school, Andrew broke his arm and helped Aaron get away. When Aaron found a new girlfriend, Andrew scared her and all the other ones after her off. Sometimes Aaron would try to talk to Andrew, but Andrew never responded, and he didn’t reveal himself to Aaron either.
Near the end of Aaron’s Junior year, Nicky landed himself in a predicament. Aaron was still in the kitchen at Eden’s Twilight, washing up the last of the dishes before he could clock off for the night. Nicky was waiting for him outside while called his boyfriend in Germany. He was chatting quietly, Andrew keeping him company Nicky didn’t know he had, when four drunk men rounded the corner and decided to hurt him.
Andrew reacted instantly. Somehow between the nights of hovering in the kitchen while Nicky cooked dinner and hummed to the pop songs on the radio and the afternoons spent floating next to the couch while Aaron and Nicky played video games, Andrew considered Nicky to be one of his. So when someone attacked Nicky, Andrew retaliated. No one touched what was his.
Violence was one of the things Andrew was good at when he was alive. It was even easier when he was dead, since his opponent couldn’t hit back, couldn’t even see him. Andrew broke the arm of one of the assailants and smashed another in the face with an empty bottle before his energy started to waver.
His force was being quickly sapped up, already Andrew could feel himself flickering. Andrew realized that he couldn’t fight off all four men as a ghost, not if he blinked out of existence for a couple hours to recharge. Nicky was huddled on the ground, an arm curled protectively across his broken ribs, bleeding and bruised. Andrew didn’t want to leave him, but there was nothing else he could do.
Andrew phased into the kitchen and yanked on the collar of Aaron’s shirt. Aaron stumbled back, clawing at his throat where the shirt had pulled too tight. Andrew gave another sharp tug until Aaron got the hint.
In the alley, Andrew urged. Quick, Nicky’s hurt.
Aaron must have heard him because he tore off his apron, skirted around his manager, and ran to the back of the building. Nicky was still hunched up on the ground and the two remaining guys were leaning over him. Aaron slammed into one of the guys with all the force of an Exy backliner before he could land another kick to Nicky’s ribs, and sent them both tumbling to the ground.
Exasperated, Andrew wanted to yell at him to not get himself killed too, but he could barely scrounge up enough energy to stay in the alley. Moving things around in the fight to protect Nicky had all but depleted his strength. Andrew didn’t have long to stress though, because within minutes, he heard the wail of sirens and red and blue lights flashed against the alley wall as two squad cars pulled up to the entrance. Someone had called the police.
The officers separated Aaron and the two other guys from where they were still wrestling on the ground before they could land any more punches. Aaron and the four guys who attacked Nicky were all handcuffed. When the ambulance arrived, Nicky was loaded up in a stretcher and was just conscious enough to beg them to let Aaron on the ambulance with him instead of stuffing him in the back of the police car with the other guys.
They were both lucky. Nicky’s ribs and face healed within weeks and Aaron got off with little more than a warning. The four men all received time in jail, but Nicky decided not to press charges. Andrew wished he could go back and pummel the four of them six feet into the ground, consequences be damned.
A year after that, Aaron went to Palmetto State University. Andrew knew he wanted to be a doctor, and Aaron was willing to work hard for it after his rough years in high school. By that point, Nicky had already said his goodbyes and moved back to Germany, but he kept in touch with Aaron when he could.
A couple months into college made Aaron think he could start dating again. In his first biology class, a pretty girl with freckles and strawberry blonde curls sat next to him. After weeks of study dates, Aaron showing up at football and Exy games, and nauseating pining, Aaron asked Katelyn on a date. Andrew tried to scare this one off too, but for some reason Aaron actually told her about Andrew, and the stupid cheerleader didn’t seem to be afraid.
Anger swirled within the remains of Andrew’s soul. Just because he was dead, doesn’t mean Aaron could start dating. They had a deal, and Andrew was pissed that Aaron wasn’t willing to keep up his end.
Andrew made the cheerleader’s life difficult, as much as he could. He hid her hairbrush or her pom-poms before games and tripped her up as she rushed around the room, searching the places she had them last. When Aaron leaned in to kiss her, or even stood too close, Andrew would grab him by the collar with ghostly fingers and yank him back. Once or twice Aaron had gotten mad and yelled as soon as Katelyn had gone back to her dorm, but Andrew didn’t plan on stopping.
Andrew would snarl back, we had a deal, but Aaron would only shake his head angrily and leave the room.
Andrew soon found that whenever he tried to follow Aaron into Katelyn’s dorm, he’d be barred from passing the threshold. That had never happened before, but no matter how he tried to enter the room, he just couldn’t. Every time he got too close, his head would get fuzzy and he’d black out for a while. Katelyn surely had something to do with it and Andrew wanted to break down the walls and drag Aaron out, kicking and screaming.
Eventually Aaron got fed up with Andrew’s constant presence. After a night spent at Katelyn’s room, he returned to his dorm where Andrew was waiting and locked the door behind him. His roommates were somewhere else that night, so he and Andrew were alone.
“This has got to stop, Andrew,” Aaron started, his eyes flicking to every corner of the room, looking for a shadow or some sort of silhouette of his brother.
No, Andrew replied, magnifying his voice so Aaron wouldn’t know where it came from.
“This has been going on for years, you can’t keep this up, and I won’t let you if you do.”
Andrew didn’t respond. The air crackled with furious energy. Aaron couldn’t make him do anything.
“You’re dead, Andrew!” Aaron yelled, spinning around the room and looking for any sign of his dead brother. “You’ve been dead for years and I don’t need you anymore. You can go.”
Anger pulsed through Andrew’s nonexistent body, hot and jagged through his metaphorical veins. The air around him and Aaron bristled with energy, swaying the curtains at the window and ruffling the pages of an errant notebook on the ground. One of Aaron’s biology textbooks flew from the desk in a flurry of pages and hit the wall with a resounding thump, landing in a heap below it. Andrew scowled. He hadn’t meant to throw the book.
Aaron’s eyes gazed at the spot just to Andrew’s right. His expression grew distinctly sad. He said, “You have to move on. You can’t keep doing this. Andrew, please – ”
I don’t like that word, Andrew snapped.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, but Andrew wasn’t sure if he was talking about the word or something else. “It’ll be better for you. You won’t be stuck here anymore and you can finally be at peace. Katelyn told me how I can help you move on.”
No, Andrew said again. The lights in the dorm flickered. Andrew didn’t want to move on. He’d spent the last four years watching over Aaron, and he’ll keep doing it forever. He didn’t have anything else. He wasn’t scared of losing everything, he just didn’t want to go. He wasn’t scared.
“Look at yourself,” Aaron said. Andrew hadn’t realized he’d materialized in front of him until Aaron caught his eye. When Andrew glanced down, he saw his body, as transparent and insubstantial as it had been for the past four years. He was in the same clothes he died in, and he was still, even after four years, in the body of a sixteen-year-old. A dead sixteen-year-old.
“I wish things could be different, I wish you were alive. Fuck,” Aaron said. When Andrew looked up, Aaron’s cheeks was wet with tears. Aaron scrubbed them away with the heel of his hand. “But you’re not, and you need to move on.”
Andrew shook his head. Angry with himself or Aaron, he wasn’t sure.
“It’s better like this. It’s okay.”
Andrew scowled again and the lights gave another flicker. It had never been okay. Not once, in Andrew’s entire life and death, had it ever been okay. Andrew knew he would die an early death, but bitterness still swirled inside of him as he thought of his life, cut short. He clenched his fists and the energy in the room fizzled, making Aaron’s hair stand on end.
“Do you see the light?” Aaron asked.
Andrew scoffed. How cliché this all was.
“You have to look for it,” Aaron prompted.
Andrew rolled his eyes but decided to humor his brother. He lifted his eyes from where he was attempting to glare a hole in the ground and looked around the room. It looked the same as it always did, no light.
“You have to want it.”
A frown tugged at Andrew’s lips. What he wanted was a bother. What he wanted was a life. None of this was fair.
“Andrew,” Aaron whispered. Andrew met his eyes.
Aaron would continue to grow old, collecting wrinkles and gray hairs over the years while Andrew stayed as he was when he died. Aaron would keep dating Katelyn until he decided to marry her while Andrew would only watch from the sidelines. Aaron had a life, and all Andrew had was death. It wasn’t fair.
He searched around the room one more time, and felt something inside of him open up. If he had lungs, the air would have caught in his throat. If he still had a heart, it would be beating madly in his chest. There, tucked in the corner of the room, was the light.
It was blindingly bright, chasing away every shadow from every nook and cranny in the room until it was all Andrew could see. Andrew had never laid eyes on anything like it. He jerked back and glanced at Aaron, suddenly desperate to cling onto his brother. Aaron watched him with wide, sad eyes. He was crying again. Andrew knew he needed to go.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Aaron said and nodded in encouragement. Andrew swallowed and turned back to the light. He closed his eyes let it engulf him. For the first time since he was alive, Andrew felt warmth caress his skin.
Finally, finally, Andrew Minyard was laid to rest.