Chapter Text
Today: 2:37pm
Ashido added Bakugo, Sero, Kirishima, and Kaminari to A-1 bitches.
Ashido changed their name to alien queen.
alien queen: alright so im sure ur all wondering why i gathered you here 2day
Kirishima: Why is the chat named A-1?
Kaminari: its a steak sauce right???
Kaminari has changed their name to Pickachu.
Sero: you spelled pikachu wrong
Pickachu: ah shit
Pickachu has changed their name to Pikachu.
Pikachu: fixed it
alien queen: uhm
alien queen: so anyway
Bakugo: why the fuck are you blowing up my phone
Bakugo: we’re still in class
Pikachu: it’s not like anyone is listening to present mic scream about dorect object pronous anyway
Pikachu: dirext obkect pronouns*
Pikachu: direvt object pribousn**
Pikachu: FUCK
Sero: do...do you need help?
Pikachu: direct object pronouns***
Kirishima: I knew you had it in you buddy
Bakugo: Jesus Christ im trying to take notes
Pikachu has changed Bakugo’s name to bakubitch.
bakubitch: i will fucking end you
Pikachu: then do it you coward
alien queen: GUYS
alien queen: can i fiNally explain this gc??
bakubitch: no.
Sero: yea
Kirishima: Go ahead
Pikachu: bakugo turned around to give me the death glare and im now certain ill be dead before tomorrow
alien queen: ill take it as a yes
alien queen: so i want to make a gc 4 all of class 1-A
alien queen: and 1-A reminds me of the steak sauce A-1
Pikachu: I WAS RIFHT
Pikachu: RIGHT*
bakubitch: you can’t spell for shit
Kirishima: I thought you were taking notes?
bakubitch: …
Sero: we alredy know everything
Sero: who even cares
Pikachu: ikr, class is over in like 2 mins also
alien queen: still getting off track
Kirishima: Oops, sorry Mina
alien queen: its fine lol
alien queen: ok so lets just add every1 here. i dont got a lot of ppls contact info
alien queen: so can u guys help me get the rest of us
Kirishima: Ofc!! :D
Pikachu: i got u fam
Sero: sure
bakubitch: ugh
alien queen: uwu thx
Sero added Shoji, Tokoyami, and Sato to A-1 bitches.
Pikachu added Ojiro and Koda to A-1 bitches.
alien queen added Jiro, Yaoyorozu, and Hagakure to A-1 bitches.
Kirishima added Midoriya, Iida, and Aoyama to A-1 bitches.
bakubitch added Todoroki, Asui, and Uraraka to A-1 bitches.
alien queen: just read the convo from b4
Asui changed their name to Froppy.
Froppy: A class groupchat?
Pikachu: dang how fast do you read tsu??
Pikachu: that was like? two seconds
bakubitch: there’s literally like, a paragraph’s worth of text
Yaoyorozu changed their name to Momo.
Momo: Bakugo’s right
Jiro changed their name to earbud
earbud: so everyone’s here, huh
Hagakure: I think theres supposed to be 20 of us
Todoroki: i've noticed mineta is the only one not here
bakubitch has changed Todoroki’s name to IcyHot
IcyHot:
IcyHot: wow
Iida: What is this? Is this meant for study purposes or just to goof off during classes?
Iida: Because I do not condone tomfoolery.
alien queen: relax class rep
alien queen: its just 4 us all 2 talk
Iida: Then what about Mineta; you said it was a class group chat. We could get in trouble for excluding him
IcyHot: i heard his phone broke
Uraraka: rly??
Ojiro: I saw him on his phone yesterday tho
earbud: yeah he was trying to take pics of some of the girls
Sero: where did you hear fhat??
IcyHot: i heard it myself.
IcyHot: i slapped his phone from his hand.
IcyHot: and heard it break.
Midoriya changed their name to Izuku.
Izuku: you literally heard his phone break
bakubitch: y’know what, you’re not that bad half n half
Iida: Todoroki, you can get into serious trouble for that.
IcyHot: not in more trouble than mineta after the school board finds out the stuff he was trying to take pictures of during school hours on school property.
alien queen: yay lets go Todoroki!!
Tokoyami changed their name to emo.
emo: so what do we do now
Aoyama changed their name to GLITTER GOD.
bakubitch: dear god
GLITTER GOD: We’ve finished all our classes so I suggest we play some kind of game [][][][]
Froppy: Yuga, what are those boxes?
GLITTER GOD: Oh, you can’t see them?
Pikachu: you have some weird phone mosel that none of us have
Pikachu: midel*
Pikachu: MODEL** GODDAMN IT
emo: you don’t have to correct ever single typo
bakubitch: yeah, or else we’d be here all day getting spammed
GLITTER GOD: So a game?
bakubitch: no.
bakubitch changed GLITTER GOD’s name to annoying twink.
Kirishima: gASP
Kirishima changed annoying twink’s name to Aoyama.
Kirishima: Bakugo, don’t be rUde
Hagakure: Aww
Hagakure: changed Kirishima’s name to Best Boy.
Best Boy: AW
Best Boy: I’M HONORED
Uraraka: you deserve it, kirishima
Izuku: bestest cinnamon roll
Ojiro: But I thought we all decided Midoriya was the cinnamon roll
Sato: Yeah, the girls had been talking about a “cinnamon roll” then told us it was Midoriya
Sato: Which I still don’t get how a person can be a food
Momo: Oh, well it just means that a person is sweet and lovable
earbud: midoriya is definitely a cinnamon roll
Izuku: why was i never told this
Izuku: i feel like im out of the loop
Izuku: but i also feel so honored
Best Boy: Me too, bro
Uraraka changed Izuku’s name to cinnamon roll.
bakubitch: yeah yeah, shut up shitty hair and broccoli head
alien queen: Oh come on Bakugo
alien queen: Stop being so jelly
Hagakure: Yea, we cant help it if Midoriya and Kirishima are the literal personifications of wholesomeness
cinnamon roll: pls stop guys
cinnamon roll: i can’t handle this
Pikachu: i can see Izuku from where im sitting in the library and i can confirm he’s dying
Pikachu: keep going, its entertaining
cinnamon roll: nO
Best Boy: MIDORIYA, MY BRO, ACCEPT THE PRAISE
Best Boy: YOU DESERVE IT ALL
Hagakure: Omg we need to protect him
Hagakure: He’s too kind
Uraraka: #dekuprotectionsquad
alien queen: YAS
alien queen: #dekuprotectionsquad
Hagakure:: #dekuprotectionsquad
cinnamon roll: NOO
Best Boy: #dekuprotectionsquad
Pikachu: #dekuprotectionsquad
bakubitch: SHUT UP YOU FUCKERS
Ojiro: Ah what the hell #dekuprotectionsquad
Sato: #dekuprotectionsquad
emo: #dekuprotectionsquad
cinnamon roll: STOP IT BLS
Iida: I was gone for twenty minutes and I see we’ve all started to spam text.
Froppy: Because Midoriya is sweet and innocent and won’t accept the truth
Froppy: #dekuprotectionsquad
Iida: Ah, okay then.
Iida: #dekuprotectionsquad
cinnamon roll: NO IIDA NOT YOU TOO
IcyHot: face the facts, Midoriya, you’re too wholesome for your own good
IcyHot: #dekuprotectionsquad
bakubitch: jesus fuck shut up please
cinnamon roll: pls no more
Uraraka: not until everyone has pledged allegiance to the deku protection squad
Aoyama: I can’t see why not :3
Aoyama: #dekuprotectionsquad
Sato: There aren’t many of us left
Sero: #dekuprotectionsquad
alien queen: come on guys
alien queen: i can see that u read the txts
earbud: #dekuprotectionsquad
Froppy: Koda’s phone isn’t charged
Pikachu: where is he?? i can help
Shoji changed their name to octopus.
octopus: #dekuprotectionsquad
Froppy: Jiro, can you help me
earbud: what happened now
Froppy: I think Kaminari overdid it with the charging
Best Boy: Where is he?
Pikachu: im fineb guhs
Pikachu: kofas lhonr is chanrege nwi
Sero: i’m on my way
earbud: im already here
earbud: i was walking to the common room anyway and he’s collapsed on the floor outside the library
Froppy: Yeah he’s a little out of it
alien queen: is he dead
bakubitch: i stg
Pikachu: km disn
Sero: disn? disney??
earbud: he’s trying to say he’s fine
bakubitch: well he’s obviously not
alien queen sent a video.
Uraraka: jsdkjaksdjasfk omg
IcyHot: how much electricity did he use?
Froppy: Koda says it was a lot
cinnamon roll: whY tho
earbud: i think he was trying show off
Pikachu: i was chgragin husi phien nd comouter ad i aslo plubged ib ny phone too
bakubitch: i feel like i’m having a stroke
octopus: I’ll carry him back to his room
Ojiro: That still doesn’t explain why he used so much electricity
Best Boy: Just don’t question it
Best Boy: He’s trying to be manly
Sero: he’s trying his best
Uraraka: ok, but did koda get his phone to work
Uraraka: we need all of 1-A to pledge allegiance
Froppy: Yes, he’s just reading all the previous texts now
Koda: #dekuprotectionsquad
alien queen: YAS
alien queen: THAT WAS EVERY1
Hagakure:: No there’s still someone left
Best Boy: Who?
Sero: yeh i thought we got everbody
cinnamon roll: guys it’s fine
cinnamon roll changed their name to Izuku.
Izuku: lets go back to praising kirishima
Izuku: he’s the one who deserves all the love
Best Boy: :D aw
Izuku: Kirishima is the true wholesome king
Best Boy: BRO
Hagakure:: T-too wholesome
Uraraka: stop switching the topic, someone still hasn’t chosen to be apart of the squad
Uraraka: which must mean there’s a traitor among us
bakubitch: excuse you, i just don’t like that fucking nerd
Best Boy: gASP
Best Boy: DONT BE A RUDE COW, BAKUBRO
octopus: bakubro
bakubitch: shut up
bakubitch changed octopus’s name to octopussy.
Sero: bakugo nO
bakubitch: bakugo y e s.
octopussy: ngl, i don’t hate the name
octopussy: it’s actually pretty funny
alien queen: jadkfjaksdj
emo: so no one is talking about how kirishima called bakugo a rude cow
bakubitch: try me, birdshit
Best Boy: C’mon, Bakugo stop being so mean
Best Boy: You don’t need to join the protection squad, but don’t shit on everyone’s fun
IcyHot: i couldn’t have said it any better myself.
Momo: I think I just heard some explosions on the other side of the dorms
Hagakure:: Yeah me too
Iida: BAKUGO IS TRYING TO BLOW UP THE BOYS DORM
Froppy: That escalated
Sero: TODKORI CAN UOU COME USE IFE TO DTOP HIM
Pikachu sent a video.
octopussy: I’m coming over to help too.
Uraraka: IS HE CHASING AFTER DEKU?!?
Best Boy: BAKUBRO NOO
Pikachu sent a video.
Pikachu: updtae: bakugo has been dukc taped to a chair
Izuku: thx btw Sero
Pikachu: they got it unedr contirl
earbud: i still can’t tell if you’re brain is fried of if it’s just your texting skills
Hagakure: Wait, arent u with him?
earbud: i dropped him off at his room and let sero handle it from there
Pikachu: sgE LIFERALH DRIPPED ME
earbud: are you sure you’re ok?
Sero: he’s breathing, he’s fine
Sero: ok why was he chasing midoriya???
Izuku: IDEK
Izuku: I literally just walking through the hallway
octopussy: I can vaguely understand him through the tape saying it was bc Midoriya bumped into him
octopussy: But I cant really tell if it’s “bumped” or “humped”
Hagakure: KSHSLDJKSK
alien queen: SKGDIS LMAO
Ojiro: Um.. what?
Sato: AHAHAHAAHHA
Izuku: i’m gonna go prepare for my funeral now for when kacchan finally reads these texts
Uraraka: but dinner is in like 5min
Izuku: EXACTLY
IcyHot: yeah we probably need to let him go or else aizawa will be suspicious
earbud: that’s if he’s not asleep
Best Boy: Don’t worry, I got it
Best Boy: I’ll make sure he doesn’t murder anyone
Uraraka: good or else he’s gonna have a problem with the rest of the dps
emo: dps?
Iida: Deku protection squad is what I assume she’s trying to type
Izuku: doesn’t matter, if anyone needs me, i’ll be looking up the cost for burials
Momo: Don't be so dramatic, you’ll be okay
Izuku: don’t underestimate kacchan
Izuku: im a dead man walking
Uraraka changed Izuku’s name to precious child.
precious child:
THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER
Froppy: They’re serving curly fries in the cafeteria
precious child: kirishima, you promise i won’t die on your watch?
Best Boy: I swear on my life, bro
precious child: *tearing up* thank u bro
precious child changed Best Boy’s name to Best Bro.
Best Bro: *Tearing up too* B r o
alien queen: yea yea lets go get food
bakubitch: this isnt ovshdhk
bakubitch: Don’t worry, got his phone too