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It was at time like these, when Dazai was babbling on about his latest inventive way to take his own life (it was truly amazing how fast you get used to such a morbid subject after being around him for awhile) that Oda realized Dazai was still a kid, at least in age — his mind was another subject entirely.
“Hey, Odasaku, are you listening? I can't take this anymore, seriously,” he whined, letting a loud sneeze just as he finished his sentence. Dazai gestured to his runny nose. “Isn't this horrible, this is a fate worse than death, I'm telling you.”
Oda, who had seen Dazai wipe his nose on his nice looking suit jacket too many times in the past week, reached into his pocket to find his handkerchief, offering it to Dazai. The neat square is snatched from his hand, the obnoxiously loud sound of Dazai blowing his nose into it following the action. Dazai rubbed a hand against his one visible eye, which was looking puffy by now, and exhaled a sigh.
“This really is the worst, I hate spring. I'd give anything to have a rope right now…” He complained, passing the handkerchief back to its owner.
Oda raised his eyebrows at the dirty object and, pushing his hand against Dazai’s, refused to take it.
“Keep it.” Dazai shrugged at this, but accepted without a fight. “Maybe you should just invest on tissues.”
“But it's a trouble to carry them with me, am I supposed to keep a tissue box under my arm at all times?” Dazai slumped his shoulders, feet dragging on the ground. “Ah, I can feel my energy seeping out of me, this is bad…”
“If it's that bad, why don't you take a day off?”
“Hah?” Dazai drawled out, staring off into space. Then, he slowly turned out to Oda, a wide grin on his face. “Odasaku, you're a genius!”
“Oh yeah?”
Dazai nodded emphatically, starting on a rant about the possibilities this opens to him, all of which are about skipping work in some way or another. Oda has a feeling that Mori wouldn't be too happy if he knew Oda found Dazai a convenient excuse to disappear for who knows how long, but well, Dazai already does that anyways, and Mori seemed to have given up on trying to keep Dazai under control. It should be fine.
It was a good thing that Dazai didn't require a lot of response to keep talking, as Oda paid close attention to his words and nodded to show he was listening. That was enough for Dazai to switch from one conversation to another, all while making wide arcs with his hands, gesticulating just as enthusiastically as he talked.
It was hard to believe this was the same kid who was so utterly uninterested in life. Just one more paradox that piled up in the misshapen silhouette that was Dazai Osamu.
“Okay, but, don't you think I actually need medicine or something? Ahh, my eyes are so itchy.” He proceeded to furiously rub them with the back of his hand, going as far as sticking a finger under his bandages to scratch at the eye hidden under them. “It's getting swollen, I can feel it.”
“That's because they are.”
“I'm seriously going blind at this rate.” Dazai sighed, but didn't take his hands away from his eyes.
“Hey, pay attention to where you're going.” Oda took hold of one of his wrists and pulled it away, where it couldn’t do more damage to Dazai’s own face. “You're gonna end up bumping into — ”
Oda doesn't get the time to properly finish his sentence, as fate decided it would do the irony of bringing his warning to life. First Dazai collides with someone, second he loses his balance and flails around in a desperate attempt to regain his footing.
Then he's tumbling forward to the sound of a squeak and a string of apologies, Oda managing to step back just in time to save himself from the accident.
Oda glances down at the heap of limbs scattered on the floor; a young looking kid attempts to push himself off the ground, wincing at what Oda can guess is a blooming bruise.
“You okay?” Oda asks, and the kid snaps to attention, looking up at him with unusual heterochromatic eyes.
“Yeah, yeah,” Dazai is the one to reply, massaging his red cheek as he gets up.
“That's good to know, though I didn't mean you.”
“So heartless, Odasaku! Don't you care about my wellbeing?”
Oda shrugged, glancing at the kid, who was snapping his eyes between the two of them as they talked.
“At the moment, I'm more worried about him.” He nodded his head to the kid.
“He's probably fine! I mean, his bony elbows tried to stab me in the stomach, so I'd say he's doing better than me,” Dazai said, almost accusatory, narrowing his eyes at the mentioned “bony elbows”.
The kid was pretty skinny, now that he mentioned.
“I — I’m sorry, I didn't mean to, it's my fault for not paying attention.” The kid's eyes widened, appearing horrified at his own words. His upper body lowered in a deep bow. “I'm really sorry!”
Dazai snickered beside him, getting a frown from Oda.
“It's fine, it's fine, no need to be so formal! Truth is, I can't see a lot right now, you know.” He leaned uncomfortably closer to the kid, pointing at his swollen left eye. “See? Horrible, isn't?”
Oda put a hand on Dazai’s shoulder, who turned to give him an inquisitive look.
“You're scaring him.”
Dazai blinked, glancing back at the kid to see the fists he had clenched around the hem of his shirt, knuckles turning white.
“Oh.” Dazai stepped back, scratching the back of his head with some confusion.
Given Dazai’s line of work, he would be bet Dazai doesn't have a lot of contact with kids, so the reaction was to be expected.
“What's your name, kid?”
“Nakajima Atsushi,” Atsushi replied promptly, despite the nervous tone of his voice.
Oda, trying not to further scare him, crouched in front of Atsushi so they were at eye level. “Are you by yourself, Atsushi?”
The boy hesitated, but mumbled a quiet, “Yes.”
“Ooh, where are your parents?” Dazai asked.
“...Don't have them.”
“An orphan? Shouldn't you be at the orphanage, then?” Atsushi flinched and looked down, staring resolutely at the ground.
Dazai grinned and tilted his head. “Hey, Odasaku, I think we've got a runaway with us.” Atsushi squealed like he wanted to apologize again, but held himself back from doing so. “Bullseye!”
Oda sighed at Dazai’s show of lack of tact, but shrugged it off in favor of focusing on Atsushi.
“He isn't exactly wrong about you being in the orphanage. A kid like you shouldn't be walking around all by yourself. Shouldn't you be coming back by now?” Atsushi shook his head furiously, and he was just starting to tremble now. “You don't have any other place to go, right?”
Dazai hummed in agreement. “If you run away without a plan, you'll just end up dying for no reason, right?”
“Dazai.”
“What, it's true!”
“Even so.”
Oda put a comforting hand on Atsushi’s head, who flinched and stayed tense for long seconds, but relaxed into the touch once he realized Oda had no intention of hurting him.
“How about we help you get back, then? That should be fine, right, Dazai?”
Dazai opened his mouth to retort, but closed it right after. He pouted and crossed his arms. “When you say it like that, I guess so.”
“Then it's decided.”
“I don't want to be a bother,” Atsushi whispered quickly.
“Don't worry, I wouldn't be able to sleep well at night if I just left you like this, c’mon.”
Atsushi nodded in understanding, and Oda rewarded him with a gentle pat to the head.
“So, how did you get here anyways?” Dazai interjected. “You've been staring at everything like you're lost when you think we aren't looking, so I'm assuming you're not from around here.”
“I used the train.”
“Do you know the station you came from, at least?”
Atsushi nodded. For a kid who was trying to run away just a few minutes ago, he was surprisingly complacent in accepting the help — probably consequence of the fear of being in an unfamiliar city.
“Okay, we should be going, then.” Oda straightened up and gestured for Atsushi to follow him.
With some reluctance, Atsushi ran to his side, sticking close to him. Once they started walking, however, he looked frantically at the constant stream of people walking by them, and the cars zooming past on the street. It took him a moment, but Atsushi sneaked his hand into Oda, gripping him tightly.
“It's — It’s less dangerous like this, right?” He asked, despite the embarrassment painting his cheeks bright red. Oda squeezed his hand.
“Yes, of course.”
Dazai was smirking at the two of them. “Aren't you two cute?”
“You too, Dazai.”
“Huh?”
Atsushi stared at Dazai expectantly, and Dazai stared at Atsushi’s empty hand.
“Absolutely not.”
“It'd be bad if you get hit by a car!” Atsushi told him, more energetic than he had been before.
“We have different views on what bad means.”
“Bad means bad!”
“Great point, now I've been convinced!” Dazai teased.
Atsushi puffed out his cheeks and looked away, avoiding Dazai’s gaze. Dazai, for his part, laughed like this was a great victory to him. However, he was soon interrupted by a violent sneeze that startled Atsushi.
With the other two watching, Dazai sniffled and rubbed his nose against his sleeve, despite the handkerchief Oda had already given him before. Atsushi made a noise of disgust, and Dazai glared at him.
“What, are you disgusted by my snot, Atsu shi ?” He emphasized the last syllable, voice in a sing-song.
“Not particularly.”
“Not particularly, he says, Odasaku. Come here, Atsushi, give me your hand.”
Atsushi, blindsided by the sudden topic change, reached his hand out. When Dazai clasped it, however, smirking with a sinister expression, Atsushi tried to pull away, but Dazai wouldn't let him.
“Don't be scared now, Atsushi.” He inched Atsushi’s fingers closer to his face while the boy struggled against him. “It's just some snot!”
That said, Dazai rubbed Atsushi’s palm against his stuffy nose, blowing into it — though he didn't so it as strongly as he had done with the handkerchief earlier, which was an odd but considerate gesture on his part.
Atsushi squealed, split between outraged cries and hysterical laugh, his voice going an octave higher as he begged Dazai to stop.
When Dazai had finally decided he had done enough, he let Atsushi go and laughed at the boy’s horrified face as he stared at his palm — which was actually clean, as it turns out.
“Don't tease him too much, Dazai,” Oda spoke over the commotion.
“How can I not when Atsushi looks like he's thinking about all the bacteria living on the palm of his hand.”
That was an accurate description, given Atsushi’s horrified face. Oda was sure, however, that Atsushi had wiped his hand on Dazai’s sleeve once he got over his shock.
Turns out that, when not busy being disgusted at Dazai’s questionable hygiene, Atsushi was a pretty quiet kid, content with observing passersby and glancing curiously into the shop windows. He seemed happy to be in his own little bubble, so Oda didn't disturb him.
(Dazai did the same, though in his own away: walking ahead of them, whistling to himself or singing under his breath, only stopping to sometimes complain that they walked too slow.)
In spite of their allegedly slow pace, the small group got to the train station soon enough. Atsushi looked conflicted about going forward, lagging behind Oda for just a split second.
Oda stops and looks down at Atsushi, who returns it with some confusion. After some awkward silence, Oda glances at something from the corner of his eyes, then back to Atsushi.
“What's taking you guys so looong?” Dazai yells from where he was looking at one of the maps, likely attempting to figure out where Atsushi came from.
“Dazai, you two buy the tickets, I'll be over in a second.”
“Okay!”
Oda lets go of Atsushi’s hand and nudges him forward. “I'll be right back.”
Atsushi nods and obeys, though he looks over his shoulder the entire time as he makes his way to Dazai, as if reassuring himself that Oda is still there.
True to his words, Oda walks over to the stand he had seen and makes quick work of buying what he wanted, walking back to the duo inside the train station.
The both of them were leaning on the wall; Dazai, who didn't bother hiding his mischievous smile, was probably making efforts to annoy Atsushi, while the small kid stared at him with exasperation.
Just as Oda approached, the two straightened up and put on innocent faces, Dazai waving in greeting.
“Welcome back, Odasaku.”
Oda nodded, not bothering with finding out what the two of them had been up to in his absence. Once inside and waiting on the platform, Dazai peered down at the plastic bag in Oda’s hand.
“Did you buy something? What is it?”
Atsushi was more discreet than Dazai, but he was also watching Oda with curiosity.
“I got this for you,” he said, passing Atsushi one of the treats inside the bag. “I thought you might be hungry, this is the best I could do. I hope you like the flavor.”
Atsushi tore into the package covering his strawberry popsicle and happily shoved it into his mouth. Dazai cringed when he bit into it.
“Thank you so much, it's delicious!” Atsushi was beaming at him, though not for long, becoming preoccupied once again with the food.
“So you stopped to get the kid a popsicle, huh,” Dazai commented. “As expected of you, Odasaku.”
“I got you one too.” Oda handed him the second popsicle, to Dazai’s bewilderment.
He unwrapped it slowly, almost gingerly, staring at the milky white of his popsicle.
“...Vanilla?”
“I didn't know if you like sweets, it was the safest option.”
“It's a boring flavor.” Dazai giggled, eating his treat with small licks, way tamer than Atsushi, who now had a pink spot on his cheek.
“Is that so? I'll keep that in mind next time, then.”
Dazai smiled, a small thing that for once reached his eyes, but if he had anything to say, it was interrupted by Atsushi tugging at Dazai’s coat.
“Hm? What is it, midget?”
“...Can I have a bite of yours too?” Atsushi asked, fidgeting as he did.
“You're so greedy, Atsushi, don't you have yours already?”
“But yours looks good too, so I thought — !”
“No way, this is mine!” Dazai huffed and held his popsicle above his head, way out of Atsushi’s reach.
“You can have some of mine too!” Atsushi insisted, staring at Dazai’s hand longingly.
Dazai hummed, a hand on his chin as he considered the offer.
“Okay, that's acceptable! Let's trade!”
The two nodded solemnly, more serious than the situation warranted. They each took a bite — Dazai with more pain than Atsushi — and, spurred on by Dazai, they shook hands at the end of it.
Atsushi looked happy with the occurrence; Oda smiled at him.
“Ah! That's right!” He exclaimed out of the blue. “Do you want some too?” Atsushi offered him the almost finished popsicle.
“No, you can have it.”
As if he had just been waiting for the permission, Atsushi ate the last piace in one go, seemingly swallowing it without even chewing.
“He's like a little beast,” Dazai whispered to him.
“Don't tease him too much,” he tells him again.
“But it's fun!”
Dazai laughed, the sound getting drawn out by the arriving train. Atsushi stepped closer to Oda at the noise and sudden burst of wind that came with it.
“Well, this would be our ride!”
Atsushi slumped, gaze glued to the ground, and Oda had to put a hand on his shoulder for Atsushi to follow them into the train.
Dazai sat on the first empty seat he saw and patted the one beside him in invitation for Atsushi. Oda opted for standing facing the duo: it was easier to keep an eye on them like this.
Atsushi appeared down compared to before, uninterested in his surroundings and avoiding looking at anyone. He was absentmindedly playing with a loose thread on his shirt.
“Dazai, what's that building?” Oda spoke up, pointing to the window and promptly getting the attention of both Dazai and Atsushi.
“What? Don't you know already?”
Oda didn't reply, instead glancing at the curious Atsushi, who was now looking from Dazai to the building in question. Dazai crossed his arms and sighed.
“Fine, understood, understood! You better pay attention, okay?” Atsushi nodded, as did Oda.
Under the boy's watchful gaze, Dazai pointed to the building Oda had mentioned and explained what it was, along with random trivia Dazai knew about the place. Atsushi, twisting in his seat to look at it, had his face almost entirely pressed against the window.
One building turned into another, then another, then Dazai was giving Atsushi a lesson in the entirety of Yokohama. He pointed at streets and buildings and the small looking people, and Atsushi followed his finger as if enchanted.
Oda rarely interjected, but Dazai had given him a knowing look at one point.
After long minutes of this, Atsushi complained that his neck was hurting, so he straightened in his seat, content in just watching the scenery go by.
Oda considered it a mission accomplished when Atsushi didn't seem to go back to his bad mood.
Dazai interrupted his reverie, exclaiming, “Ah, we forgot to introduce ourselves, Odasaku!” Dazai realized with shock. Now that he mentioned, they didn't tell Atsushi their names, after all. “We should fix that right now!”
Dazai put a hand to his chest, posing proudly. “I'm Osamu Dazai, the great man who saved you. And that's Oda Sakunosuke. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Dazai spoke with great self assuredness in his voice, and Oda let him do it. Before he could go on about himself, however, Atsushi’s head hit his shoulder. Dazai looked at the child now sleeping against him and clicked his tongue.
“I can't believe this, he slept right when I got to the best part.”
Dazai didn't move accommodate or comfort Atsushi, but he didn't push him away either.
“So, you think he'll be okay? Our little Atsushi here, I mean.” Dazai said, low and careful.
Dazai surely had noticed the little warning signs Atsushi’s behavior had been giving them, probably in more details than Oda would be able to take note of.
“I don't know. This is the most we can do for him, it'll have to be enough.”
Oda leaned down to rub a pink smudge on Atsushi’s cheek clean; the boy stirred, but didn't wake up. Dazai hummed.
“You're really good with kids, Odasaku. Like an actual father.”
“You're not so bad with them yourself.” Oda looked at Dazai, who turned his eyes away.
“Yeah, right.” Dazai watched Atsushi sleep and, after a beat, chuckled. “Next time, you be the one to save me. Okay, Atsushi?”