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When thunder screamed outside, a loud and powerful sound that reverberated inside his bones, Atsushi didn't flinch; he scooted closer to the body beside him, however. Dazai, who had his eyes closed and a peaceful expression gracing his features, didn't seem to mind the shorter distance between them—in fact, there was no sign that he even took notice of it.
Atsushi was under no delusions of believing Dazai had fallen asleep—even if the fatigue in the creases of his face and the ugly purple of his dark circles compelled him to hope Dazai would be resting, no matter how unlikely the prospect was. Most likely, the man was attentive to the every noise around him: from the merciless rain hammering on the roof to the muffled voices of the officers walking in a frenzy of quick steps.
Atsushi hadn't had the mind to check if it was the Agency or the police. As long as it meant this case was over, either would do just fine.
Unable to stop himself, his eyes trailed back to Dazai’s face, to his split lip and the dried blood around it, to the utter calm that could only be a mask—how could it not be, when the cut on Dazai’s cheek was still bleeding, a slow but constant stream of crimson staining his skin.
Atsushi, tired of holding his own weight, let his head fall against Dazai’s shoulder, a disgruntled noise escaping from his lips without his permission. This way, he no longer could look at Dazai’s face, and maybe that was for the best. Atsushi curled further into himself, fighting against the cold of the wind and the ground below him.
“Cold, Atsushi-kun?” Dazai murmured, shattering the remaining of his small hope on the possibility of Dazai getting any amount of sleep.
“A little bit,” he whispered back.
“We should probably move soon,” Dazai hummed. Despite his words, Dazai made no move to leave his seat on the floor, so neither did Atsushi. “I can't have you catching a cold, can I?”
“There's no need to worry about me.” Atsushi glanced at Dazai's knuckles, painted a sick yellow that only darkened by the minute, then at his own unscathed ones. “I don't know if I can even catch one to begin with.”
Dazai chuckled low in his throat. Atsushi was unsure why they were being quiet, as it was unlikely anyone could hear them with all the noise outside, but Atsushi didn't dare break the moment.
“Even so, being cold can't be all that comfortable.” Dazai moved to the side, jostling Atsushi from his resting place. “Here, let me help you.”
Dazai shook his coat off; the way he didn't move his left hand at all as he slid it off one arm, then winced when a finger twitched against his will didn't escape Atsushi. When Dazai passed him the coat, Atsushi had a refusal on the tip of his tongue that he unwillingly swallowed down, uncomfortable with denying the help when Dazai had offered it despite the pain he was in.
Atsushi wrapped the coat around himself, not bothering with the sleeves. “Thank you.”
“It's no problem, no problem!” Dazai said with his usual airy and cheery tone, though Atsushi noticed the lack of hand gestures now.
He bit down on his bottom lip, squeezing the tan fabric between his fingers.
“You're thinking too loud, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai commented, without even looking at Atsushi once.
Atsushi offered an awkward smile, eyes never leaving the floor. “You should get that looked at.”
“I will, I will.” Dazai traced the bruises with his right thumb, drawing indefinite shapes onto his skin. “It's just some dislocated bones, nothing doctor Yosano can't fix.”
Atsushi gritted his teeth, no response coming from him. Heavy silence threatened to wrap around Atsushi’s throat, but he didn't have the courage to break it, inadvertently allowing it suffocate him.
“Does it bother you?” When Dazai spoke this time, Atsushi couldn't decide if he was grateful or not. “The bruises, I mean.”
“Of course it does!” His head snapped towards Dazai, his voice raised an octave. Faced with Dazai's serene smile, Atsushi realized his outburst, and contin6ues in a heated whisper, “How could it not?”
“I'll be healed and as good as new soon, won't I? This is nothing.”
“Maybe for you.” Atsushi squeezed his fists until they ached. “For me— I—”
Dazai tilted his head and made a curious sound. Atsushi looked away. “Forget it.”
Dazai hummed again, tapping his index finger on his chin. “Hey, Atsushi-kun.” He looked at Atsushi from the corner of his eyes. “Do you maybe feel guilty?”
Atsushi flinched and, knowing the action itself was answer enough, didn't utter a word.
“You get such weird ideas in your head sometimes.” Dazai leaned on his right hand, head tilted so their eyes could meet. He was smiling, without an ounce of worry. “What you should be feeling is relief, instead, right? Since you're not hurt.”
“Doesn't that mean I also should be not relieved, since you are hurt?”
“Not exactly, I'm not dead yet, am I?” Atsushi glared and Dazai laughed. “You worry too much.”
“And you worry too little,” he retorted, irritated.
“Don't be like that, Atsushi-kun!” When Atsushi didn't reply, Dazai pouted at him. “Seriously, you… Here.”
That was the only warning Atsushi got before Dazai straightened up so he could reach for Atsushi’s wrist, tugging his hand to Dazai's left one. His fingers hovered over the bruises, and Atsushi tried to pull away, afraid of hurting Dazai further.
“Relax for a sec, Atsushi. Just don't press and it's fine.”
Atsushi, knowing Dazai had no plans of letting him go, exhaled and forced himself to do as instructed.
Just as Dazai had done before, Atsushi traced the bruises, feeling the swollen and warmer than normal skin underneath his fingertips. Soon enough, Dazai didn't have to hold his hand there, as Atsushi got pulled into the rhythm of it, into the odd sense of calm the motions brought him.
“See? There's still blood pumping in there. The pain doesn't matter as long as you've got that. It means you survived.”
Atsushi nodded slowly, transfixed by the faint heartbeat he felt on one of Dazai's fingers. He almost squeezed the injured hand, but held himselfback, settling for pressing close to Dazai's side instead.
Alive. He was alive; the warm blood said so, and the heartbeat whispered it to him.
“You're okay,” Atsushi said.
“I'm okay,” Dazai agreed.
Laughter escaped from him, shaky and short lived, an almost pathetic sound that got out in expression of his relief. “Okay.”
“Atsushi-kun?”
“Yes?”
Atsushi looked up, just before Dazai tugged on one side of the coat around Atsushi, bringing him closer. Atsushi stumbled forward, flailing so he wouldn't hit any of Dazai’s injuries; in his carefulness and due to Dazai’s insistence—he was surprisingly strong for someone with a dislocated shoulder—, Atsushi ended up clumsily straddling Dazai’s lap.
A moment later, he was overwhelmed by the taste of blood on Dazai’s lips. He pulled away instinctively, but was tugged back in; this time, he was prepared for it, so Atsushi moved his lips against Dazai's with gentleness, careful not to aggravate the cut.
The copper lingered when they pull away. Atsushi licked at the taste until it disappeared completely.
“...This is embarrassing, Dazai-san.” Atsushi threw a glance to the people still working nearby. “Everyone can see us.”
“It's fine, no one is paying attention anyways.” Contradicting his words, Dazai tuggged the coat up so it covered Atsushi’s head and face entirely; when he leaned in this time, their kiss was hidden behind the fabric. “Better?”
“I suppose,” Atsushi mumbled, refusing to acknowledge the heat rising to his face.
Dazai gave a satisfied smile and put a hand on Atsushi’s back, nudging him so his head would come to rest on Dazai's shoulder, his nose on the crook of his neck. “Rest, Atsushi-kun.”
“You should be the one sleeping, not me.”
“I can't hear you!”
Atsushi sighed in exasperation, but in the end acquiesced to the gentle order. His eyes closed and he went lax against Dazai, arms loosely wrapped around his waist.
The smell of ozone clung to the air and Dazai's skin; even behind his closed eyelids, Atsushi could see a flash of lightning light up the room. Dazai's breath was steady and silent, only the rise and fall of his chest giving it away. His heartbeat thudded against Atsushi’s own.
Atsushi snuggled closer and, soon enough, he dozed off to the sound of the rain.