Work Text:
“Jacob… Hold on!”
Lara’s heart was in her throat, she knew that by destroying the Source there was a chance Jacob might… She didn’t want to believe it. Not when this quest had already taken so much from her.
He laughed between the rasping breaths “I’ve held on for too long already.”
She wanted to lash out, scream, cry and bring the place down around them, but there was a hollow acceptance within her that knew it had been the only solution and this was just one more sacrifice she would have to live with. “You knew I’d destroy it.”
He nodded shallowly. “Lara Croft, I’ve met few as extraordinary as you.” He smiled at her gently and brought her face down to give her one last kiss before turning away as rampant coughing took over. “It’s finally happening. My Ending.” He laughed again, like it was a relief.
I will not cry I will not…Lara felt scraped raw and full of inescapable sadness. “I’m sorry.” I’m so sorry Jacob. I don’t want you to go. “All I wanted was to make a difference.”
“You already have.” he tilted her chin up from where she’d let it down to avoid the tears at the corners of her eyes, and then brought their foreheads together. “You already have.”
“FATHER.” Lara looked up to see the Remnants led by Sofia running towards them.
“Sofia. I am so happy to see you one last time.” As soon as Sofia was near enough, Lara relinquished her hold on the man and stood up, not willing to intrude on their last moment.
“NO. I am not ready. The People are not ready. There is still so much you must explain.” Sofia was loud and insistent, the words echoing off the ruins and agreed by the natives who took their vigil beside the familial pair.
“We are not letting you go so easily.” Insisted one of the men surrounding their once-prophet. “You are not done yet. Ivarr, bind his wounds. We will take Jacob to the infirmary.”
Lara felt empty. There was so much yet unexplained. She watched them carry Jacob out into the sunlight and prayed that he would survive.
She watched them go until she could not see the parade of coats any more. It was only then that she remembered she was not yet alone. The rasp of Anna’s breathing suddenly became louder, as if fading back in from another room, and Lara felt… remorseless. She would get someanswers today. Even if it put the dying woman out of her misery.
She limped back to the village once she was sure the shooter wasn’t going to reappear, mind whirling a hundred miles a minute. Was Trinity responsible for her father’s death? Was Ana? She felt so on edge, out of control, with no clear mission to bring her back in focus. Her thoughts kept cycling between Ana, Trinity, Sam, Alex, Roth, her father….. All the death and destruction wrought at her hands, all the paths Trinity had set her upon, the mould this shadowy organisation had thrust her into and how she had folded like a wax doll into its shape without knowing. Her head and her heart hurt as she walked, replaying the last few years, from the moment she set foot on the Endurance, searching for the puppetmaster’s strings over her life. That helicopter had said something about Trinity, hadn’t they? Had Trinity known where they were even then? Had they left them there on purpose, knowing if Lara couldn’t find all of Himiko’s secrets for them no one could?
She climbed the ladders on autopilot, shaking and barely breathing by the time she passed the first Remnant. Her feet took her to the centre of the village, only stopping when she almost tripped and fell into the well because she couldn’t keep it together.
“Lara? …. Lara!” her vision was blurry so she shook her head to clear it, but it didn’t help. Jonah’s voice was worried, and she wanted to tell him she was okay, but she couldn’t get enough breath to speak the words. Why was it so hard to breathe? She wanted to sob. She wanted to curl up into a ball and hide somewhere. She wanted….
“Easy now.” Sofia murmured as she caught Lara when her knees buckled. “Easy. Breathe in time with me. That’s it. In, and out. It’s okay Lara you can do this. In, and out. Good. Now slower. Jonah, help me bring her to the infirmary.” She felt Jonah’s arms around her as she struggled to bring enough into her lungs, and between the three of them they hobbled towards the infirmary, all the while Sofia murmuring in her ear, quiet and sure. “In, and out. That’s good, there’s no shame in this. Keep going.”
As soon as she caught enough breath, she was sobbing. Huge ugly tears pouring forth as it all caught up with her, mourning her father all over again, and Ana… even though it had all been a lie, even though Ana had been using her all along, that didn’t mean Lara had wanted her to die. Lara didn’t want anyone to die, especially not because of her.
“That’s it little bird, let it out.” Jonah rubbed her back as they kept shuffling forwards and through the door.
“Lara!” She lifted her bleary head up at the sound of Jacob’s voice, unwilling to believe what she was hearing until she could also see- but there he was, surrounded by the Remnant leaders, very much still alive, and staring at her in the doorway like there was nothing he would rather be looking at.
She flung herself at him, still openly sobbing, needing the comfort of his arms and the quiet safety of his touch.
“It’s alright. I got you. You are safe with me. Nothing is going to harm you now.” He did not disappoint; bundling her up into a hug as soon as she reached his bed, surrounding her in his presence, pressing kisses to the crown of her head until her tears stopped flowing and, exhausted, she sank into a much needed rest.
There were times, later when she’d look back over the last few years of her life, and think, “did that really happen?” The therapist, the one Anna and Trinity had corrupted, had written in his notes that she had been replaying the island over and over, before she threw herself into proving her father’s last project had been not a crackpot theory. By the end, she hadn’t been sure if it had all really happened, or if she’d had a mental breakdown in response to the shipwreck and subsequent marooning, like the lies Sam now believed. Waking up in Jacob’s arms she could scarcely believe the man underneath her was over a century old. He felt real and virile and just alive as she did. She was soglad he survived.
Focusing outward, she saw the infirmary was empty in the afternoon sun but for the two of them. She turned her attention back to Jacob, content to watch the rise and fall of his chest and take a moment for herself until he stirred.
“What a sight to wake up to,” he murmured into her hair sleepily “my people are safe, my daughter survived, and I am alive with a beautiful woman in my arms.”
She giggled quietly, and let him tip her face up for a lazy kiss.
“You are unharmed?” he asked, stroking the back of his hand across her cheekbone following the line of a scrape she’d earned dodging rubble.
She nodded, “just cuts and bruises.”
“Fortunate, then, we are in the one place with supplies to clean such things.” He smiled down at her “Come, Lara, let me tend to you.” He encouraged her to stand, and grasping a pot full of a viscous paste, sat her down on the bed, fussing over her wounds, soothing and kissing each imperfection before applying the paste and bandaging the worst of the offenders.
She trembled, feeling equal parts vulnerable and taken care of, and soon his kisses trailed further down until he was kneeling at her feet, carefully working her boots off.
“Jacob..” her voice wavered pathetically
“Hush Lara,” he soothed “we are both alive, against all odds, is it not right to enjoy that circumstance? God saw fit to keep throwing us into each others arms, let us celebrate that today I am right here with you.”
She had always thought sex like this would be rushed and frantic; a rough affirmation that the other was whole and together and present, with pinching fingers and panting breaths and little delay. Instead, Lara received benediction. Jacob took his time, stripped her down to nothing and built her back up again, and it was all she could do to survive the onslaught of pleasure she experienced.
He kissed her from head to toe, whispered praises into her skin, and smiled when she held on too tight. He lit a fire in her soul and let her sing it to the heavens, thrusting so easily she couldn’t help get louder with each pass.
“I thought I was finally finished with Life.” he mused in the afterglow. She lifted her head from where it lay on his chest to look at him properly. “I felt…. Different: I thought I would drift away and finally be done with this mortal coil. I thought the destruction of the Divine Source would purge me of my stolen years and that would be that.”
She thought about how he had looked up there in the chamber ‘it’s alright Lara…’
“You were ready to die.”
He looked at her with fondness. “And so were you. Yet. Here we are, by God’s grace. I don’t know when my Ending will be now. Much like anyone else, I imagine. But I am happy I yet live; to see Sofia grow into the leader I know she can be; to help rebuild my people without their deadly purpose; to find solace in the mountain and all god’s creations; to spend time with you. Yes. That is worth living for.”
Lara hid her face in his neck. Of all the sappy things he could say… She could tell he meant every word, and it kindled the fire in her; to be so cherished by someone who who had experienced so much made her feel… special in ways she hadn’t felt since childhood. She knew she felt safe in his arms, safe and unburdened by the history of being Lara Croft.
As she stepped out of the infirmary, a voice greeted her.
“Hey there little bird,” Jonah’s voice was a balm for all things, and it was so good to see him upright and hale.
“Jonah,” she breathed it like a sigh of relief “I’m so glad you’re alive!”
He swept her up in a hug and looked down at her fondly “All thanks to you that I made it that way. This place is incredible! You found it, you found the Source and the Prophet and all the things your dad spent his life looking for, and your stopped Trinity from sabotaging this amazing place. You saved the day again.”
The praise slipped off her like water on a bird. “and how many people died because I wasn’t faster?”
Jonah wrapped her up tighter. “You can’t think like that, Lara. These people would not be here if not for you; Trinity would be letting loose an army of monsters with a political fervour. You are a hero.” He said the words with such firmness that they rang with truth, and Lara was still too tired and heartsick to argue.
“Come on then,” she smiled, “How much of the Valley have you seen so far? They have this curious practise down by the aqueducts, and I really want to see how well you can throw pumpkins…..” and, tugging him along, she showed her best friend the valley’s secrets. Taking the day to delight in being alive and surrounded by impossible wondrous things; revelling with the Revenants full of food and drink and dancing spirit, before crawling back in with Jacob as the fires began to dim.
Still shivering from her nightmare, she slipped outside and into the cool night air, hoping the peaceful valley would distract her from such dangerous thoughts. She couldn’t trust the advice that therapist had given her, not now his agendas had been revealed through Ana and Trinity…. But it mattered little now. She had to keep going, looking forwards, not backwards. She sat down by one of the fires and marvelled at how quiet everything was without a war to prepare for, or Trinity to fight. Lost in her own musings, she didn’t hear Sofia sit down next to her until she was right there.
“What keeps you from slumber so late in the evening?” the redhead asked gently.
Lara shrugged. “Just. Nightmares.”
Sofia nodded. “Father tells me you have seen much, for a short life. It stands to reason there is much for your spirit to untangle in the dream world. You are in good company here.”
Lara stared into the fire. “The last two years have been… the worst and best of my life. I have discovered things I would not have dreamt possible. I have pushed myself to limits I could never have imagined, I have… done things… horrible things in order to stay alive, in order for those horrible things to not happen to me or my friends, and sometimes I wake up and I’m.. choking in all the blood I’ve had to spill in the name of living just a second longer….” she could feel Sofia’s eyes on her, but strangely the darkness made her feel easier about baring all this, like it wasn’t her saying anything, but her thoughts manifesting themselves without passing her lips.
“There are many among my People for whom the aftermath of the battle is almost worse than the battle itself. When I was still not of fighting age, one such woman killed her own children and then threw herself to her death from the effects of the Soldier’s Heart. Her husband had not encouraged her to seek help, thinking he could negate her symptoms by himself. Jacob made sure the physicians added extra therapeutic sessions to their treatments from that point on. There is no shame in it, and there are many treatments, but to talk? It truly helps.”
Lara stared at the other woman “the… ‘Soldier’s Heart’?” she questioned, not familiar with the term.
“Aye, the effects of battle on the mind and body once the fighting is done; often long lasting and manifesting in night terrors, anxious breathing, hallucinations or believing oneself to be back in the battle.”
Lara frowned “it sounds like… Post-traumatic stress disorder, but that’s silly. I don’t have that. I can’t have….. “
Sofia turned to her in the half-light “Lara, you have fought a great battle with Trinity, kept yourself alive through multiple hardships and regularly throw yourself into danger, be it fighting, or off cliffs. You have nightmares and yesterday you could barely breathe, if you truly believe you do not have Soldier’s Heart, then I will not question you again, but, the treatments our physicians have could help minimise those symptoms, help you feel better in yourself.”
“I….I’ll think about it.” Lara promised, there would be little else she would do.. Sam had PTSD, that had been one of the reasons the rest of the Endurance survivors had been denied contact, but Lara? Well, it wasn’t out of the realms of possibility….. and she knew the physicians here wouldn’t have an agenda, like the therapist Ana had set her up with…. Oh, Ana… Her heart was heavy for the loss of a dear friendship, and whilst she’d never forgive the woman for what she had done, she also mourned for her.
“I’ve also heard” Sofia commented with a sly voice “that regular intimate contact helps.”
“wHAT?!” Lara shrieked, stunned out of her melancholy suffering.
“Taking a lover to help ease the symptoms and share your burdens in hours such as these” Sofia continued “to chase away the insidious thoughts with pleasure and leave you… screaming to the heavens?”
Lara hid her face in her hands.
“So you heard that. Did everyone hear?”
Sofia smirked. “Well, after the little display when you woke up, I wouldn’t count on anyone in the valley remaining ignorant of what the two of you are up to. The infirmary walls are not known for their soundproofing.”
Lara’s face was on fire. “Oh god...”
“It’s okay, Lara. It’s perfectly natural, only god knows how many valley babies were conceived after life or death situations, and I am aware my father is an attractive man...” Sofia looked off into the distance with a small frown, “lots of the women have tried to get his attention throughout my life, but no one has succeeded, not one. He’s rather fled from their clutches, until you.”
Lara peeked out from between her fingers “does it... bother you?”
Sofia startled, surprised by the question. “That you are taking comfort in one another? No. I could tell that you would change things from the moment he brought you here, but you have proved yourself ten times over and if anyone is worthy of basking in my father’s shadow, it is you Lara.” she frowned again. “I will miss him. When he goes.”
Lara put a comforting hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “At least he has the chance to live now. Even if he does go in a week, a month, a year. At least there is time to say goodbye. To prepare.” Sofia smiled.
“Yes. You are right. He can have a natural Ending. Just like he always wanted.”
Lara knew she couldn’t stay here forever, but to have a sliver of peace, to work with the strength of her two hands to reduce the damage Trinity had wrought, just for a moment, that would be enough. And with the unyielding strength of Jonah, Sofia and Jacob at her side, she would heal. She would grow stronger, so that when she started her next quest, to hunt Trinity down, she would be ready.