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Dean was bored; he sat at one of the bunker tables cleaning his colt for probably the fifth time this morning. She usually shined but at this point he could see his reflection in her barrel a little too well. Sighing he scrubbed a hand over his face and opened his mouth but before a word could come out Sam cut him off.
“No Dean, I haven’t found a job yet.” Click click click went his fingers on the keys as he didn’t even look up from his laptop across the table from Dean. “I will let you know as soon as I find something just so you can scratch your annoying staying in one place for too long itch.”
Dean huffed, crossing his arms over his chest he looked to the side and muttered a quiet, “Bitch.”
Hands stilled over the computer keys and Sam looked over with an exasperated bitch face, “Seriously Dean? *sigh* Jerk.” Then right back to more click click click.
He knew he was acting a tad bit like an unentertained child but they had been at the bunker for almost a month straight and he needed a distraction. Maybe he should go help Cas finish his room, the angel had protested needing one at first since he wasn’t around too much and didn’t need sleep but Dean had insisted. After all what if something happened and he became human again? He wouldn’t kick him out a second time. This was home, for all of them.
The first few months the room sat empty and you couldn’t even tell it was supposed to belong to anyone in a personal sense. It was right across the hall from Dean’s room (too keep an eye on Cas if he was ever there and no other reason ok?) and he peeked in everyday and there was still no change. Just the plain bed and furniture that featured in every other room in the bunker. He couldn’t help but wonder what if Cas really did need to use this room at some point? Those beds really weren’t that comfy…….so Dean had done the logical thing and went and bought Cas a memory foam mattress.
Then because you can’t just have a new mattress without new sheets he ordered an Egyptian cotton bed set the golden color of honey. About a week after the sheets came in they were doing a job down in Georgia, typical salt and burn. The grandmother of the child that had died was an avid knitter and when she had offered to knit them something Dean had pulled her aside and made a private request. Who was he to turn down a free service after all? A month later it had come in the mail, a queen sized knitted wool blanket, golden yellow with little honey bees scattered all around and a hive right in the middle.
Folded at the foot of the bed Dean had felt a sense of accomplishment, even if all he had done was personalize the bed, it now felt like Castiel’s room. He could feel something unwind in his chest and an ache he didn’t even know he had dulled down. An ache that was practically non-existent now since the day after he put the blanket in there Cas had started to bring in little things he liked from around the bunker and other places in the world to make it more like home. Dean had even built some shelves because Cas had wanted to display shells that he found from almost every beach in the world, he had even brought Dean with him a few times to help him find the perfect one. It had completely loosened the tight feeling in his chest watching Cas in his trench coat walking along the beach squinting at each new shell and holding them up for Dean’s opinion.
He mentally shook off those thoughts and looked up to find Sam staring at him with an almost constipated look on his face.
“What the hell Sam?”
“Sorry Dean but you were smiling and looked happy for a minute……is another Apocalypse about to happen?”
“Shut up Sam.”
He pushed back his chair and stood up stretching his arms over his head. He tucked his colt into his waistband and turned to go find Cas when a familiar voice yelled
“What’s up bitches?!”
He spun around with a grin towards the stairs and sure enough bounding down came a familiar redhead.
“Charlie!” He pulled her into a bone crushing hug then had to relent to let Sam pull her into a Sasquatch hug of his own.
“What brings you to Kansas? Is everything ok?”
Dean immediately starts checking her over making sure she’s not injured or sick. She shoves him back with a laugh. “I’m fine, I just wore out my welcome where I was and need another fresh start, figured I would drop in on my way to nowhere.”
Sam smiles “Thank you so much Dean was about to drive me nuts.”
“Oh?” Charlie looks over at him with a calculating look in her eye. “So I need to find a LARP event nearby?”
“Oh hell yeah!” Dean even throws a fist pump in the air.
Charlie puts down her bag and starts to unpack her laptop but pauses and tilts her head to the side as music drifts into the room. Quiet enough that they can’t hear the words or distinguish the melody. “What’s that?”
Dean feels a soft smile pull at his lips unaware of the sudden softness in his eyes. “That’s just Cas, he found an old turntable and some records in the bunker a few days ago, he likes listening to the old music nowadays.” He rolls his eyes and says with an affectionate hint to his voice. “Says he likes it better than what I listen too, something about it having more emotions I’m not sure.” He shrugs and looks at Sam and Charlie both who look like they have seen a ghost.
Charlie just opens and closes her mouth like a fish before squeaking out “Turntable?”
Sam just picks up his beer and takes a generous gulp before running a hand shakenly through his hair.
“Yeah Charlie a turntable, you know records? Like think 50’s and 60’s before the internet.”
“I know that Dean!” Charlie looks away for a minute like she’s internally debating something. Then she turns towards Dean and hesitantly asks, “Can I see it?”
He frowns, “Of course Charlie Cas won’t mind.”
He heads towards Castiel’s room and hears Sam following along behind him and wonders why they are suddenly acting so weird but he shrugs it off and lets a smile grace his features as he starts to hear the words filling the hallway.
~I close my eyes and clearly my heart remembers A thousand goodbyes could never put out the embers~
“Hey Cas.” He says as he enters the room ignoring the increase in the beat of his heart as he takes in Cas, rumpled suit and trench coat, re-arranging shells around the room to make room for the records on the shelves.
“Hello Dean.” Cas rumbles not even looking away from his shelves like they hold the secrets of the universe.
Dean notices a few new items, a painting of a random beach on the wall next to one of the hanging shelves he made, which now is filled with different shells Cas collected. The standing shelf to the side now houses the turntable and records as well as an old projector and camcorder. A few photos that Jody and Claire took on their last visit are pinned on the wall next to the bed. Sam, Dean, and Cas in the bunker library all looking at Sam’s laptop. Dean with Sam in a headlock laughing as he tries to escape, Cas standing there head tilted to the side confused as Claire had taken the picture laughing, Dean under the hood of the impala, Claire and Jody arms around each other smiling at the camara. Then his personal favorite though he would never admit it. Him and Cas in the library across from each other. He has his arms up gesturing probably explain something and Cas is doing his staring thing with a slight tilt to his lips like he can’t help himself from smiling.
~Oh how I wish I never had caused you sorrow But don’t ever say for us there is no tomorrow~
He stuffs his arms in the pockets of his jeans and rocks back on his heels. “So Elvis huh?”
“Yes Dean.” Cas gestures to the empty record sleeve. “It was colorful and I find I quite enjoy the music, this is the third time I’ve listened to it, the next song is my favorite.” He pauses for a minute, sets a shell down in a different spot. “It carries heavy emotions.”
The song changes and the beginning of the next one starts to play. He hears a choking noise behind him but ignores Sam and Charlie in favor of looking at Cas who finally turns towards him and asks with a sad look on his face. “Do you not like Elvis Dean?”
~Wise men say only fools rush in but I can’t help falling in love with you~
Dean swallows hard and quickly backtracks. “Naw man it’s cool. I can dig Elvis.”
The crashing sound of breaking glass makes him turn around and he sees Sam in the doorway complete anguish and disbelief on his features broken beer bottle on the ground below him but even more confusing is Charlie who is just inside the room behind Dean except she is on her knees crying ugly sobs of pain.
He turns around to Cas for help but he is looking as confused as him head tilted to the side and eyes all squinty like he needs glasses. He turns back to Sam and Charlie to see Charlie turn and look up at Sam pain in her eyes. “Sam you’ve read?”
Sam runs his hands over his ashen face before replying, “Yeah Charlie I have, you sent it to me remember?”
She looks down guiltily, “I can’t say I didn’t want you too but I honestly didn’t think you would. I thought you would think it was a joke and delete it.”
Sam scoots the broken glass against the wall with his foot and kneels down to help Charlie to her feet. After she’s standing he looks down, “No, I read it, and honestly Charlie.” He pauses.
~Take my hand take my whole life to for I can’t help falling in love with you~
Choking in a sob Sam closes his eyes for a moment, breathes in deep the looks back to Charlie and an understanding seems to pass between them when he finishes with, “but I still don’t know if it was the best mistake I ever made or not.”
The song comes to an end behind them and Charlie hoarsely says, “Can someone please turn the music off?”
Cas walks over to the turntable and puts the record away as Charlie unsteadily walks over to the bed and sits down running her hands lightly over the bee blanket a small smile on her face. Sam leaves to go get the broom and a towel. Dean looks at Cas with a questioning lift to his eyebrow and Cas just shrugs helplessly back. Turning his attention back to Charlie he notices her taking in the room tears still falling silently down her face.
“What’s with all the shells?”
Happy to have something to talk about and possibly get her to stop crying Dean grabs the opportunity. “It’s just something Cas does, collects shells from beaches around the world.” Sam appears and starts sweeping the glass and throws the towel on the wet spot. “Cas could probably tell you where every one of them came from, I built these shelves so he could display them here.” He walks over and picks up one of the big spiral shells and says, “Hey Cas tell her the story on this one.”
Cas smiles one of his soft twist of the lips smiles, “Ah yes Dean that is the one you picked out at Miami beach in December.” The sound of a broomstick cracking hard on the floor cuts off Cas from getting started on the story as they see Sam staring at them in shock. Then Charlie yells, “You go to the beach together! Aw crap and it’s probably your favorite memories together to.”
She just stares at Dean and he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and mutters, “Maybe, kinda…..yeah?”
Which was defiantly the wrong answer because Charlie throws herself down onto the bed with an anguished wail and Sam slides down the wall to the floor staring aimlessly across from him muttering about how he never should have read it, whatever the fuck it is.
“Dean I am confused as to our current situation, I am not sure what led us here or what I should do to help Sam or Charlie.” Cas is looking at him like he should have all the answers and damned if he doesn’t wish he did. Instead he throws his hands in the air and growls, “Hell if I know Cas!”
At the stricken look on the angels face he finds himself back tracking quickly yet again and says, “It’s going to be alright, whatever happened I can fix it.”
“NOOOOOOO!” Charlie suddenly screams thrashing around on the bed and crying harder while Sam starts banging his head backwards against the wall with his eyes closed now telling his self repeatedly that he is not going to cry.
“Ok.” Dean mutters running both hands tiredly across his face. He sits down at the foot of the bed on top of the bee blanket and pulls Charlie into his arms rubbing her back as she clutches his shirt until her sobs start to slow down. He reaches behind and takes his colt out of his waistband and asks Cas to put it in his room for him really quick so he can comfortably lean back against the wall. Cas grabs the gun and leaves the room as Charlie inhales a shaky breath.
“This bed is really comfy.” She mumbles into his shirt.
“Of course it is, memory foam, bought it myself.”
She laughs a little humorously and wipes under her eyes with her hands. Looking up at him she mumbles, “Why am I not surprised?”
Cas walks back into the room and sits on the bed next to Dean and they stare intently at each other for a minute before Cas glances down to Charlie to see her watching them with a watery smile on her face. Cas nervously clears his throat, “Charlie would you mind if I inquired as to your intense emotional episode that I just witnessed? I would like to know how I caused your emotional distress so that I don’t repeat it in future interactions.”
Faced with the angels earnest expression Charlie flushed and said, “Fanfiction.”
Cas just tilted his head to the side and continued to stare at her.
She tightened her grip on Dean’s flannel and flushed more before muttering. “Destiel.”
A lightbulb went off and Dean groaned aloud before letting his head fall backwards against the wall. “Please don’t tell me this is like that Wincest bullshit.” Silence greeted his statement so he opened his eyes to see Charlie looking anywhere but at him completely red in the face. “Really Charlie?! Me and Cas?!”
The angel was now looking at the both of them very confused. Dean could feel the blood running to his face so he looked at Sam who was guiltily looking at anything but them. “Seriously Samantha? You read porn about me and Cas?”
Sam looked up quickly with wide eyes, “It wasn’t porn!” Then he looked down and fiddled for a minute with the ends of his shirt. “Look it’s called Twist and Shout, I wasn’t going to read it but I was bored and curious because Charlie had never sent me fanfiction before, even as a joke. So I looked up things about it. I found out it is the most popular Supernatural series fanfiction ever written, over a million hits. At one point it was even going to be published, there were thousands of reviews. I decided to give it a shot. Once I started I read for 5 hours straight until I finished it and I would do it again even if I wish I hadn’t.” He stopped to draw in a shaking breath. “It was beautiful.” He said softly to the floor. Then he looked up right into Dean’s eyes. “It made me understand that what I had with Jess and Amelia was only temporary, it wasn’t true love.” He looked towards to floor again whispering, “I may never find a love like that.”
The open pain in his words was the only thing stopping Dean from making a comment about him being so girly. He opened his mouth only to close it again. He looked down and Charlie was twisting her hands around on his shirt with a naked pain on her face as well.
“I would like to read it.”
Three heads turned slowly towards the angel all with disbelief on their faces. Until Charlie bounced off the bed with a smile.
“Sure thing feathers let me get my laptop.” She paused heading out the door, “Just curious but why?”
“If this story can pull such strong human emotions from you and Sam I am compelled to try and understand.”
Charlie nodded her head in understanding. “I’ll be right back.”
After she walked out Sam and Cas both turned to look at Dean and he chuckled humorously to his self and thought why the hell not. “Go ahead Sam bring me your laptop, I’ll meet you in my room, it might be weird to read it in here with Cas.”
6 Hours Later
Dean stood under the spray of the shower tears silently falling down his face. He knew the others wouldn’t judge him for crying too much but he didn’t want to deal with Sam’s teasing. He scrubbed his body until he felt as raw on the outside as he did on the inside. Twist and Shout was his greatest fantasy and worst nightmare all mixed together and written in a way so powerful that for once in his life a story would stick with him long after he had read it. He knew deep down that every time that Elvis song played he would have to sit down and do breathing exercises until his chest wasn’t going to squeeze itself into the tightest ball it possibly could.
He dried off and put on his dead man’s robe. Charlie and Sam had left for the night to go to a hotel and now he understood why. They didn’t want to have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster they knew him and his angel would be on. He noticed the door to Cas’ room was open and he felt his knees buckle as he heard the music flowing out.
~Would it be a sin if I can’t help falling in love with you~
He stopped at the doorway and took in Cas sitting on the bed, laptop closed beside him, staring at his shelves full of shells. Bee blanket across his lap clutched tightly in his fist, tears flowing silently down his face. He opened his mouth and brokenly said, “Dean.”
That was all it took, Dean was across the room and gathering him into his arms in a second. Pulling him into his lap he muttered, “It’s ok, I’ve got you baby.”
Cas gave another broken sob and Dean let his own tears flow again. “Hey angel.” He hooked his thumb under Cas’ jaw tilting his face up towards him. “I think we both understand a little something now.”
“Yes Dean, we have wasted enough time. It’s time you came home.”
A smile split across his face as he leaned down and sealed their lips together. Even though the kiss wasn’t perfect due to the fact they were both still crying. For the first time Dean felt the knot in his chest completely go away. He gripped his angel tighter and knew he would always come home to his baby.