scallionpancakes
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- DCU (1)
- Batman - All Media Types (1)
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just want you to be my emergency contact by scallionpancakes
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
“I believe I have also told you that the duty of cooking belongs to me,” the butler continued. “I have reminded you countless times that tasks like these are under my supervision. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you’ve made Master Duke’s bed this morning.”
“I left the rest of the room untouched!” Bruce cried. “I didn’t even dust it or wipe down his table!”
Alfred raised an eyebrow.
Bruce faltered for a moment before reluctantly confessing, “I cleaned his windows.”
⛧°.⋆༺🦇༻⋆.°⛧
Wherein after finally going to therapy, Bruce decided the best way to deal with the ever-present fear of his loved ones dying were to spoil them all. The Batkids are all very much happy with this approach, despite how unnerving it was to witness Batman dangle a criminal over the roof before cooing at them and calling them his sugar bugs.
Superman is on the other rooftop, crying over the fact that Batman hasn't called him his "sugar bug."
or:
bruce wayne embraces his fate as a housewife with open handsday 244/september 1: housewife
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Dennis lets out a chuckle. “Well, when the time comes, I will refer him to the best surgeon out here if we meet again. Hopefully he can get the keyhole surgery.”
“Periareolar? Not double incision?”
“Yeah, kid doesn’t like scars.”
“You had that too?”
“Yeah, but mine was because I wanted to preserve nipple sensitivity, not because I didn’t want scarring.”
It takes a beat and the lack of response from Robby to realize what he actually said.
Dennis accidentally talks about his nipples in front his attending and instead of getting sent to HR for sexual harassment training, he ends up with an invitation to a dinner date. With said attending. Santos is trying her best to understand the absurd relationship between her boss and her roommate. Everyone else in The Pitt is betting on it.
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“I already ruled out drug use and infection,” Dr. Mohan breaks in. “Blood cultures and drug panels are negative, white cell count is normal. No history of medication either. And… it doesn’t read as cut-and-dry agitation to me.” Dr. Mohan stops walking, only to spin on her heel and lean in closer. “I’ll be honest, Whitaker. Normally I’d consult with Mel or Dr. McKay on a case like this, but they’ve been with a five-year-old who accidentally ingested propranolol. I can’t go to Dr. Robby because he’s been… well. You know how he gets. I need you to trust me here. I don’t think this patient is hurt.”
Mohan normally has good instincts, and Dennis has been proven wrong against her intuition before. He blinks, then nods. “Uh, okay. So how is she acting?”
“Like she’s… sexually aroused.” Dr. Mohan breathes out, tilts her head back, and stares up at eye-watering fluorescent lights. “You probably think I’m insane.”
OR: A patient comes in with a mysterious infection. Whitaker can't figure out what it is, but his fellow doctors are starting to act strange. Including (and especially) Dr. Robby.
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He learns much from the kid this way. The first letter is written frantically, as if in disbelief.
You have no idea how much this means to me, he has written. Robby notices the warp of the paper and the bleed of the ink. Thank you for giving me a fighting chance. I will not waste this.
In which Robby starts sponsoring a medical student from Broken Bow, Nebraska.
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That’s why he must have clung to Lily like a leech. His miserable, shadow-drenched life had changed when he saw her light — and like a moth, he’d flown straight into the flame.
“What is it?” he asked carefully, lowering his wand just a little.
But James was better. Where Lily was a small wild flame, James was the sun itself. He had everything Snape didn’t, he was everything Lily could never be. James was nearly divine, and he wouldn’t be treated as anything less.
“Amortentia.”
or
James is completely crazy and hopelessly in love, he's also such an idiot that he thinks helping someone means questioning their autonomy.
Bookmarked by scallionpancakes
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
When Severus accidentally gave Sirius Black a flower on Valentine's Day, it made the Black Heir fall for him not knowing a speckled boy is gritting his teeth on the sidelines being held back by our resident werewolf. And Peter just doesn't want to be involved.
OR
Regulus Black wanted to talk to his brother so bad that he asks Severus for help. Too bad he doesn't know that two anti-social people can't provide great ideas when it comes to social interaction.
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Bookmarked by scallionpancakes
09 Nov 2025