Work Text:
"So, this is where you want me to clean?" Kirumi asked as she walked into the Ultimate Inventor's lab, and Iruma rolled her eyes in the most obnoxious way possible.
"No, I brought you here so you could use my machines to achieve sexual ecstasy!" A grin. "Though I suppose those two are the same for you, Hoejo! GYAHAHAHAHA!" Small bits of spit flew from her mouth as she laughed, dirtying a nearby table, and Kirumi waited for her to stop before beginning to wipe them up with her cloth.
"You know, Iruma-san," her voice, calm as always, held a purposefully cold tinge that caused Iruma to stiffen up, "I think it would do you well to remember that I'm going to be handling your inventions."
Eyes widening, Iruma took in a breath and relaxed her shoulders before replying. "Wha-what the hell do-does that mean?" She shouted, stepping forward, any possible intimidation caused by the action negated by her stuttering and her arms trembling at her sides. "A-are you threatening to break my stuff?!" Quickly raising her arm to point at Kirumi, she attempted a glare that Kirumi returned with an faux-apologetic smile, arms folded behind her back.
"Of course not, Iruma-san. I simply meant that your words could decrease my work ethic, and it would be a shame if such lovely creations were not treated with the utmost care over something like that." Still keeping her left behind, she closed her eyes and brought her right hand to her heart. "I would never purposefully destroy any of my clients belongings." And that was true - she took her job, her talent, her life very seriously, and if Iruma convinced herself that Kirumi had her fingers crossed or that 'purposefully' meant she could do it 'accidentally-on-purpose', well. That was her problem, no harm done.
Luckily, rather than voicing these potential concerns, Iruma simply gulped, seeming thoroughly intimidated for now, and gestured towards a nearby machine. "W-well, then, uh, y-you can start here, it's small and cleaner than others so it's, like, good foreplay or whatever. I dunno, whatever you like, I guess." Having relaxed a bit, Iruma grabbed a notebook and pencil and sat cross-legged on the table Kirumi had just wiped, getting some dirt from her boots on it - but, no matter. She had specified cleaning her inventions, and so that's that Kirumi would do (though if there was time before dinner, perhaps she could do a bit more).
Confident that Iruma wouldn't insult her as she worked (for now, at least - her personality was still hard to figure out), Kirumi rolled the cart of cleaning supplies closer and surveyed the machine. As Iruma said, it wasn't very dirty, no dry stains, and so a few wipes with a soapy cloth were all that was needed to clean it. Wiping it dry, she moved on to-
"Woah, wait!" Iruma's voice stopped Kirumi in her tracks, and she turned to face her, taking in the confused look on her face. "Don't you always use spray to clean shit?" Iruma pointed an accusatory finger at her. "I've seen you do it, don't try to pretend you don't!"
"It was not necessary for that invention." Kirumi explained, unfortunately unsurprised at Iruma's lack of basic cleaning knowledge. "The spray is used for tougher stains and should be saved for such so it doesn't run out when you reach one." Iruma knitted her brow in confusion, lips slightly pouted, but instead of giving some intended-to-be-witty retort she erased something on her notepad and wrote something else, piquing Kirumi's curiosity. "What are you writing there, if I may ask?"
"You mayn't." Iruma simply replied, not looking up, but Kirumi was going to confirm her suspicions. Looking around the room, there was a large machine nearer to the back, looking out-of-use and visibly dirtier than the others, rusty with old stains.
Kirumi spoke up as she made her way over. "Although," she started, catching Iruma's attention, "it is still very easy to waste spray when doing tougher stains." Lifting the bottle, she did three spread out sprays across one side of the machine, wiping with the wet cloth immediately after. "Knowing how much to spray in what places to satisfactorily clean something as soon as possible is a skill learned over years, many never being able to master it - and that's not even taking into account the many different brands of cleaning equipment."
She could feel Iruma's eyes on her, pencil scribbling paused, and Kirumi waited to see if she'd speak, continuing only when she was sure she wasn't going to. "Even with an advanced AI, I highly doubt any machine could match up to it."
"Huh!?" Iruma shouted indignantly. "Screw you, my invention's gonna be way better than anything you could do!"
"So I was right, then." Kirumi stated, and when she turned to Iruma she looked slightly nervous, possibly realising she had just insulted her - though Kirumi couldn't say she hadn't incited a reaction that time. "You brought me here to... observe me? I'd be flattered were your invention idea not so offensive to my profession."
"Wha-what do you mean 'offensive'? Robo-maids are just as good as - better than human ones!" There was that attempted confidence again, a tone betraying belief in her own words shining through the stuttering, and Kirumi slowly sharpened her face into a glare.
"A question, Iruma-san." Nervously pressing her lips together, Iruma nodded in acknowledgement. "These 'robo-maids' will not be cheap, correct?" Another nod. "Then, taking my earlier comment about experience into account... what are they good for other than putting me and other maids out of potential future jobs?"
Iruma opened and closed her mouth, trying to find the right words under Kirumi's patient glare, and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath in before opening them again. "W-well, you know, having one here-"
"Is unnecessary, as I am here, and experienced." Cutting her off seemed to momentarily scare Iruma even more, but then she bounced back, almost to her usual self again.
"Y-yeah, that's the point! I know you act like serving people is your version of masturbation, but I know it's just because you've accepted that you're so boring nobody would talk to you otherwise!" Iruma sat up straighter, pointing at Kirumi again. "Robo-maid will give you so much more free time, you should be begging me to make one!" Her point apparently made, she stopped talking, looking at Kirumi triumphantly. When the silence carried on, she seemed to fall a bit, nervousness coming back at Kirumi looked at her in angry shock. "Um-"
"Beg?" Kirumi asked, tone almost threatening as she cut Iruma off again. Then she walked, slowly, towards her, speeding up when Iruma stumbled backwards off the table, back hitting the door to her lab as Kirumi caught up and put her right hand on the knob. "I should be begging you?" She locked eyes with her, making her tremble. "You seem to misunderstand." Iruma tried to look away, but Kirumi grabbed her chin the moment she moved, putting even less distance between them. "A maid is not the one who begs," she tilted her head up, close enough to feel her breathing, "Iruma-san."
Iruma stared at her, face hot, seemingly lost for words as her mouth hung open and she twisted her hands together, unable to gather herself. Kirumi moved back slightly, keeping her hand on the knob and moving her left hand to the wall next to Iruma's head, giving her space but preventing running away.
"Another question, then." She began, voice softer than it was. "If nobody would talk to me, like you claim, what is the point of giving me more free time? Iruma-san," she continued, not giving Iruma a chance to make up some flustered lie, "I am a maid. I take requests. If you wish to spend more time with me, then all you need to do is - ah -" there was humour in her smile, "beg, I suppose?"
Iruma gulped, staring at Kirumi as she seemed to consider her next words, which was all Kirumi needed to see to know she was right. "Th-then, uh," Iruma began, "w-would you please," another gulp, face turning redder, and she clenched her eyes shut, "would you p-please g-go on a... a-a d-d-date with me!" In the end, her words were shouted, and Kirumi made sure to wipe her face of any surprise at Iruma's straightforward choice of words by the time she opened her eyes again, gauging Kirumi's reaction.
Smiling gently, Kirumi stepped back and curtseyed. "It would be my pleasure, Iruma-san."