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"I'm telling you, I thought it through. Like, really thought it through. I predicted and wrote down 37 possible ways it could go wrong and eliminated every single one of them."
"Woah there, doctor Strange," Jimin adjusts an apron tightly hugging his small waist. "I'm ready to be your confidant."
Taehyung is already reaching for his bag, taking out a plain-looking notebook and shoving it right in his friend’s face. Jimin flips it open, and a cacophony of colors immediately makes him flinch. He squints at the first page, far and wide covered in obnoxious fluorescent hearts, forming a header that reads 'THE grand plan to woo THE LOVE OF MY LIFE’. There is a subheading in close handwriting underneath: (aka the handsomest man to ever handsome, who kinda needs to go easy on caffeine, otherwise, his heart's gonna give out before I have a chance to steal it).
Turns out, Taehyung’s grand plan involves a certain Kim Seokjin, a fourth-year psychology student, drama club president, cupcake-enthusiast and espresso-devouring machine.
Over the last few months, he has become quite a frequent visitor to the coffee shop, closest to his university. Seokjin comes in every morning, at around half past eight — a couple of minutes after the sign on the door changes to 'open' — and jokingly whines that the place looks like an oasis for a student a priori running low on energy and sugar. His unchangeable order includes two espressos and a bunch of lemon cupcakes (which he gets for free more than half of the time, thanks to a certain Kim Taehyung). Seokjin usually drops by again after classes, at around three pm, occasionally bringing along a grumpy-looking boy with a stubborn pout and tired eyes. Seokjin's friend orders in a quiet voice, sparing baristas no more than a fleeting glance from under his bleached bangs, but tips generously. More often, though, Seokjin is accompanied by an impressive pile of textbooks and papers, which land with a loud thump when he takes a seat at the table tucked into the corner. His favorite.
He is tall, broad, handsome, always polite and patient, cracks weird jokes that make Taehyung giggle.
Oh, and Taehyung is whipped for the man like cream in profiteroles.
And that pretty much sums up everything, Jimin muses, that he knows about Kim Seokjin.
Jimin studies his friend’s writing and hums, thinking that he actually needs to give Taehyung some credit: this time it really does sound like a plan. Take into account that in a span of three painfully awkward months, Taehyung slowly progressed from stuttering over a greeting and flushing bright scarlet every time the bell above the entry door announced Seokjin's arrival to making puppy eyes from behind the counter and putting small hearts after Seokjin's name on his coffee cup. The plan is surely a huge step forward.
Jimin flips through a dozen pages, filled with step-by-step algorithms, set out targets, cause and effect diagram shapes, arc arrows, and pointers, then chooses a random paragraph and reads out loud.
"Marriage bridges two shores, binding us together as one unbroken path, on which I vow never to deviate, never to falter— Is this a wedding vow?"
"As a wise man once said, better be one step ahead than two steps behind."
"I'm pretty sure that was Namjoon last weekend when we ran out of beer and he pulled out some weed."
Taehyung shrugs, placing the last blueberry muffin precisely on top of five layers of others in the pastry display case, brow furrowed in concentration. The leaning tower of Pisa might be of a certain charm from some people's perspective but not from Kim Taehyung's, no sir. Kim Taehyung is a very scrupulous man who pays meticulous attention to detail. That's why he spends ten minutes every morning building cake towers that could stand through an earthquake. That's why he comes up with a thoroughly calculated, multipage monstrosity of a plan just to ask out his crush of two and a half months.
Having finished erecting his masterpiece, Taehyung takes off his gloves and turns to face Jimin with an adorable grin.
"Just as I said, a wise man."
While Taehyung is busy running shots through portafilters and setting up an espresso machine, Jimin leans his body on the counter, slightly hunching over the sheets of paper.
"You even described a turn of events where he trips over a table leg, hits his head and loses consciousness," Jimin chuckles. "I'm impressed, that's a solid piece of work."
There is a hum of agreement from the other boy in response.
"But wouldn't it be easier to just ask him out?"
Taehyung rolls his eyes, snatches his notebook out of Jimin's fingers and cradles it in his arms like a baby.
"Page 27, Jiminie. A whole list of reasons why Seokjin is too out of this world and deserves to receive more than a plain, boring, unoriginal, dull, commonplace, banal, trite—"
The entry door suddenly flies opens. To the accompaniment of a ringing shopkeeper's bell and a short string of outside noises comes a loud 'good morning' in a cheerful voice. Taehyung jumps up and squeaks, promptly dropping his notebook on the counter.
As none other than disarmingly smiling Kim Seokjin, wrapped in a light-brown coat, crosses the shop in vigorous strides, Taehyung has an urge to duck down and disappear without a sound, Batman-like, but Jimin grabs him by the elbow and pushes him towards the register.
Seokjin is all rosy cheeks, chitchat, and toothy grins, and Taehyung is not sure if it is the sound of a milk steamer or just his heart going 'whoosh' every time Seokjin's warm brown eyes meet his.
When Jimin finishes setting up the order and calls out Seokjin's name, Taehyung distractedly watches the man thank him eagerly, leave some coins in a tip jar and reach for his cup, struggling to grab it while holding his wallet in the same hand. Taehyung snaps out of it and hastily puts a freshly made lemon cupcake in a paper cup, offering it to Seokjin with a smile.
"It's on the house."
The man looks up at him, and Taehyung belatedly realizes that both Seokjin's hands are full. He mentally slaps himself on the forehead and can already feel his cheeks heating up when Seokjin simply drops a thick pile of textbooks on the counter and immediately digs into the pastry.
It's so obscene and loud in the almost empty shop, the way he moans around the cupcake, closing his eyes and humming in appreciation. He finishes it in two small bites and mumbles 'you're the best' to no one in particular. Taehyung just stands there, wide-eyed and red in the face, not quite sure who the words were addressed to, him or the cupcake.
Seokjin locks eyes with the blushing barista for an infinitely long amount of time (about two and a half seconds), thanks him again and starts gathering his belongings. Taehyung watches his full lips naturally form an adorable pout as he struggles to pick his books up and fit them under his arm.
"Leaving already?" Taehyung blurts out.
He doesn't know why he said it and what he was expecting because he is aware, better than anyone, that Seokjin stays for a longer time only after his classes end. Taehyung gives himself a second mental slap and grins boxily, trying his best to mask any disappointment or desperation, which might have seeped into his voice, with pure friendliness.
"Um, yeah, I have two seminars and a group project today," Seokjin shoots him an apologetic look and smiles warmly. "But I’ll surely drop by after."
The man lingers at the counter for a couple of seconds before making his way to the exit and waving goodbye. Taehyung follows him out with his eyes, and it must have been a fidget of his imagination, but he could swear he saw a kiss blown his way.
When Seokjin is out of the door and no longer within hearing distance, Taehyung buries his face in his hands and lets out a loud exasperated groan. Jimin chuckles beside him and smacks his butt. Taehyung groans louder.
"Are you gonna write this as a diary entry in your notebook, too?"
Huffing an annoyed laugh, Taehyung picks his head up, ready to give a cheeky retort, but stops abruptly.
He stares at the empty counter in morbid terror.
The shiny empty counter mockingly stares at him back.
xxx
Never in his life or, at least, in the last three months of his life, would Taehyung have thought that he would be dreading the moment Kim Seokjin comes through the door of the coffee shop.
"My life is ruined, officially," Taehyung grumbles, his smile dropping the moment two middle-aged women take their caramel macchiatos and head for the door. "He will think I'm creepy and file a restraining order. I need to quit this job, leave the country and change my name to Loser McCreeperson."
"Don't be so dramatic, Tae. He won't even know it's about him."
Taehyung shakes his head.
"There's literally a whole page where I got a bit carried away and wrote his name in different fonts and colors all over."
He tries to pull at his hair, but Jimin stops him, reaching out to take a hold of his hand.
"Well, then maybe he won't be able to figure out who the notebook belongs to."
"I wrote a diary entry about that day he complimented my eyes and asked for my name. Remember?"
Jimin nods. Hard to forget when it was the only thing his friend would talk about for a whole week after, coming up with a new epithet to describe Seokjin's smile every ten minutes.
"I retold it in detail. A whole passage about the way crumbs stuck to his bottom lip. A thorough description. With metaphors and all. Vivid. A whole bunch of other literary tropes, too. Damn, I actually take pride in that, it’s almost poetry."
Taehyung tries to be his usual cheerful self and jokes around a lot, but nothing can hide how upset he really is. He hums quietly, trying to build another edible tower out of leftover muffins with shaking hands, and smiles diligently while wishing a wonderful day to customers.
Taehyung gives his best but messes up a couple of orders, his cake tower looks much sloppier than usual, and his smile only reaches his eyes when he sees a baby in a cute beret.
During peak hours it's easier and harder at the same time, Taehyung concentrates on distracting himself with work so zealously that he ends up tripping over his own legs and spilling milk all over himself. Twice. Jimin would usually make fun of his clumsiness, but seeing his friend so miserable makes his heart clench. He silently helps him clean up the mess and makes him hot chocolate after the stream of customers subsides.
As it nears three pm, the time when Seokjin usually drops by to spend a couple of hours working on his thesis, often staying until the closing hour, Taehyung's moping changes into a calm state of acceptance. It's not that bad. He has a list of excuses that might, in theory, save him from total embarrassment, besides, he is fairly confident he can think of something else on a spot, just in case. It could have definitely been worse.
At half past three, Taehyung starts to fidget, rearranging napkins and stirs, wiping the counter more times than ever needed and rubbing at spots aggressively. Jimin only shakes his head and gives Taehyung occasional pats on the back as the boy jumps up for the third time in a row at the entry door swinging open.
As some metaphorical clock in Taehyung's mind, as well as the clock on one of the walls, strikes four, a nasty feeling of uneasiness begins to stir in his stomach.
When Jimin steps in for him at the register, he quickly finds an excuse to stay close to the windows, staring outside, almost longingly. More often than not, he finds himself fixing his look on the entry door, heart pounding wildly in his throat every time someone as close as walks by.
It's a quarter to five, and Seokjin is nowhere in sight.
A painful realization makes Taehyung's facade of self-assurance crack.
He was so busy thinking over what he would say and how he would act when Seokjin confronts him that he forgot to consider the possibility of him not coming at all. Or not coming back ever.
Tiredness, mental and physical, suddenly washes over him as he wipes off the stinging in his eyes on the back of his hand.
He muses, how it didn't even cross his mind that he worked himself up over nothing. Seokjin is probably the type to avoid any sort of conflict, so he must have decided to pretend that the notebook as well as the weird barista with his stupid crush — slash creepy obsession — never happened.
Jimin must be reading his mind like he often does, Taehyung is convinced, because he puts his hands on his friend's waist and hugs him from behind, hitching his head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," a quiet whisper tickles Taehyung's earlobe, and he feels even more foolish than before.
He has been waiting all day. For nothing.
And now it's another two miserable hours until he can take off his apron, get out of his stained clothes, come to his apartment and wallow in misery, listening to sad love songs and having a good old cry over 'Love, Rosie', as expected from a man in his early twenties, whose heart has just been broken.
He drags himself through the rest of the shift quietly, utterly devastated.
It's five minutes to seven when he rolls up his sleeves, fishes a headband out of his bag and starts wiping the tables clean.
The shopkeeper's bell rings, and Taehyung feels a wave of irritation rising up inside him. He loves his job, he really does. He likes people too, but it doesn't stop him from thinking that coming in and expecting to be served five minutes before the closing hour is bad manners in civilized society. Jimin is still at the register, so it's up to him how to handle this.
"Um, Taehyung?"
The boy turns around and, of course, finds Kim Seokjin lingering at the door, looking at him intently, expression unreadable.
It's borderline annoying, Taehyung thinks, as Seokjin approaches him, how the man always looks like he has just come out of a shoujo manga, with his stylish coat, pink lips, and slightly disheveled hair. It's annoying, he thinks, how it makes his heart do a somersault.
Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek, painfully aware of his milk-stained shirt and stupid headband, doing a poor job of keeping his ruffled fringe out of his eyes.
"I think we should talk."
Taehyung gives a silent nod in response and straightens up, not making direct eye contact, choosing in favor of fiddling with a pack of wet wipes in his hands.
"Maybe, privately?" Seokjin suggests, a nervous smile tugging at his lips.
The boy wipes his hands on the apron and takes it off, making his way to the backroom of the shop, motioning Seokjin to follow. As they pass Jimin, who stands awkwardly at the counter, he squeezes Taehyung's arm and mouths 'good luck'.
When the door behind them closes, Taehyung heaves a long sigh, mustering up the courage to turn around and try not to cry while apologizing and embarrassing himself in front of his crush even more.
"Just so you know, it's a common misconception," comes the voice. "That caffeine negatively affects your heart; it's actually quite the opposite. In fact, drinking two cups of coffee a day may lower the risk for coronary disease and protect against heart failure and ischemic stroke. Although, regular coffee consumption might lead to, um, it's not really an addiction, you see, but it does cause mild physical dependence.. I mean, once you caffeine, it's hard to caffeout."
"What?" Taehyung's voice is nothing but a confused squeak.
"Well.. You thought that me drinking coffee so regularly might lead to my heart giving out sooner than necessary, but I'm telling you that it's not true 'cause I wrote a paper on health benefits of caffeine—"
"That's, um, don't get me wrong, that's really interesting, I would love to hear all about it but— Aren't we here for a different reason? I mean, I'd rather you ripped off the band-aid 'cause I'm gonna break out in sweat any second now."
"Oh," Seokjin shifts from one foot to the other and smiles hesitantly, the tips of his ears flaming red. "Right. Your notebook."
"Look, I'm really sorry about that thing, I know it's lowkey creepy and weird but I promise I didn't mean any harm," Taehyung keeps staring at his fingers gripping the hem of his shirt so tightly they go white at the tips. "If you let me apologize and make it up to you somehow—"
"Taehyung, I'm not mad at you," Seokjin says softly.
He tentatively reaches out and takes one of Taehyung's hands in his, squeezing lightly.
"I'm not mad. Your notebook is— Yeah, it's kind of weird and, clearly, unexpected but also very endearing. Adorable. With a capital A."
Taehyung lifts his head up and meets Seokjin's amused stare. They are practically the same height, he catches himself noticing, but Seokjin is a tiny bit taller, so Taehyung needs to tilt his chin up just a tad to look him right in the eyes. He is suddenly very aware of how close they are standing to each other and how small the backroom is, especially for two grown men, which makes him a little dizzy and even more flushed.
"It's so embarrassing, I feel like a child," he mumbles.
"Well, you know, I studied your plan and I gotta tell you, it could have actually worked on me," Seokjin winks, his face breaking into a cheeky grin.
Taehyung groans, lowering his face in embarrassment again, just as Seokjin takes a small step towards him, still chuckling. It's so natural, for some reason, how Taehyung's forehead comes to rest on his shoulder with a soft sound.
The room smells like dusty warmth, coffee beans, and a need for a thorough cleaning, as they stand there for god knows how long, Taehyung's breath even against the fabric of Seokjin's coat. Silence, comfortable and pleasant, stretches through almost non-existent space between them and settles on every surface, soothing, enveloping like a bubble.
At some point, Seokjin's hand tentatively finds its way to the small of Taehyung's back, pulling him a tad closer but not quite embracing yet. Taehyung sighs contentedly and lets himself nuzzle into the collar of Seokjin's coat, fingers coming to rest on the lapel.
"Knock-knock."
Taehyung can hear the words rumbling deep in Seokjin's chest, and it makes him feel like something warm and tingly dances on his fingertips and, strangely enough, on the tip of his nose.
"Who's there?"
Seokjin pauses for the sake of comic effect, smile already playing at the corners of his mouth, brown eyes crinkling up.
"The love of your life and the handsomest man to ever handsome."
Taehyung yelps in indignation and half-heartedly pushes Seokjin on the chest.
The bubble of silence pops for good as the room fills with high-pitched squeaky laughter.