Work Text:
“Damned brat better be working or I swear to God I will fucking taser his ass.” Vanderwood muttered to himself as he stepped in front of the door to Saeyoung’s bunker, digging through his pocket for the small Arabic dictionary he had to carry around because of the red head. It took a minute for him to find the right words and he spoke to the security system in almost fluent Arabic, the small light turning from red to green as the door unlocked. He was sure that the day he finally learns the language was going to be the day Saeyoung would decide to set his security to another language.
He walked in as soon as the door opened and immediately made his way towards Saeyoung’s office where he had his hacking setup. Vanderwood half expected to see the hacker passed out on the floor near his computer, curled up on the only clean space on the floor littered with empty packets and crushed soda cans but was pleasantly surprised to see him working at his desk. The mess was contained to the area around his desk and his swivel chair instead of throughout the apartment which was the usual.
“You’d think a genius would know how to use a garbage can.” he muttered to himself as he picked up the small garbage can in the corner of the room and moved to pick up the empty crisp packets and crushed soda cans the hacker had left lying around him. The idiot claimed he can’t work when he’s surrounded in garbage but he seemed to be doing his best to surround himself in trash. Sometimes Vanderwood had the feeling Saeyoung did it on purpose to make him stay around him longer. He swept the heaping pile of trash on the desk into the bin and kept it near his desk before shooting a halfhearted glare at the redhead. “Use the fucking trash can. It’s not there for decoration.”
“Oh, hey Vander! Didn't hear you come in.” Saeyoung grinned at his handler and continued typing away. He was working quickly and Vanderwoods irritation with him slowly faded away as he watched his fingers fly over they keyboard.
“How much have you done?” Vanderwood asked. They had to finish it up and hand the report over to the Agency in two days, it was an important assignment Seven had been given and they promised the two a week off if he managed to hand it in by the deadline they had given. Unfortunately for Vanderwood, Saeyoung had the habit of procrastinating on his work until the last minute, giving him unhealthy amounts of stress to deal with. He was sure the first grey hairs on his head was going to be because of the hacker in front of him. “If you just started on the assignment I’m going to-”
“Relax Mary~”
“Don’t call me that-”
“I’m almost done!”
“Wait what?” Vanderwood blinked. This was unusual. Saeyoung almost always waited until the last minute. It was a pleasant surprise to hear he was finishing up work days before the deadline. Saeyoung almost looked like he was having fun as he worked, which was another surprise. “You look like you're enjoying yourself.” Vanderwood commented as he moved to stand behind his chair to watch him work and keep him company.
“Yea! This is actually the most fun I’ve had on an assignment. Their security system is quite a challenge, but it’s nothing I can’t break through~”
The agent propped his elbows up on the back of the redheads chair and leaned his weight into it, listening to the steady rhythm of his fingers tapping away at the keys as he worked. Being with him like this was oddly comforting to Vanderwood, he found comfort in the simple moments he shared with the younger hacker. Saeyoung might’ve enjoyed getting on Vanderwood’s nerves all the time and purposely gave him more work to do but all those years they spent together made them grow closer. He had grown fond of Saeyoung, something he never expected to happen when they had first met.
“...aaand done!” A few more taps on his keyboard later the printer started up and immediately began printing out a stack of reports to be handed over to the agency.
“That was.. surprisingly fast.”
“I know!~” Saeyoung’s face had scrunched up as he leaned back into his chair and laced his fingers together, stretching his arms out in front of him. He let out a satisfied little groan as his elbows and wrists made little popping noises, earning a slightly concerned look from Vanderwood.
“...how long have you been sitting here for? Did you even eat today?” The hacker had a bad habit of skipping meals to work on assignments. Sometimes Vanderwood felt like a mother with a computer addicted son who had to force her child to eat.
“Since last night. I had Honey Budda and Pepper to keep me company so I’m good. Why, do you want to cook for me as a reward for finishing it on time?~” He had a teasing grin on his face as he tilted his head up to face the agent who was still leaning into his chair. His head was on Vanderwoods arms and his glasses rode up the bridge of his nose when he smiled up at him.
Ba-thump. Vanderwood felt his heart jump at how ridiculously cute he looked just then. He stared down at him for a second before pulling away. “You have crumbs in your hair. Take a shower and come to the kitchen, I’ll make something for you since you clearly haven’t had a proper meal in 24 hours. I’m surprised you're still alive with your shitty eating habits.” He quickly walked out of the room, fighting back a blush that threatened to show on his cheeks when he heard the amused little snicker behind him.
Vanderwood tied his hair up as he entered the kitchen and started making dinner. He felt his heart still beating wildly in his chest while he arranged the ingredients out and he stopped in front of the counter. He sighed and pressed his open hand on his chest where his heart was, a small sigh leaving him as he felt the erratic heartbeat through his fingers. “Stop it Vanderwood, you know this isn’t good for you.” He took a few minutes to get his heartbeat back to normal before letting out another sigh before getting back to work. He kept an impassive look on his face as he began chopping up ingredients, making sure to put in plenty of vegetables since the hacker refused to eat them when he was left on his own.
This had been happening a lot recently, a small smile or a soft whine of his name from the hacker was enough to make his heart go into a frenzy. Vanderwood hasn’t even been able to touch him without feeling like his heart was going to beat its way out of his chest; he was worried one of these days when the shorter idiot decided to tackle him in a hug to welcome him back Saeyoung would be able to feel his heartbeat against his own chest.
The hacker wasn’t always a little shit. Saeyoung was gentle with him when he helped clean up his wounds when Vanderwood came back from solo field missions. He gave him soft smiles and gentle touches, there was happiness in his voice when he welcomed him back home.
Yes, home. Vanderwood had grown to think of the bunker as his home. Or more precisely, he had grown to think of Saeyoung as his home. He never let Saeyoung know that though, he never let anyone know how he felt.
Whenever he felt thoughts like that coming, whenever he felt the urge to pull Saeyoung into his arms and hold him close and kiss him he walked out of the room. It was frustrating, having to keep distance between them this way but he had to do it. He couldn't let himself get closer to the hacker. Saeyoung was under his care, under his supervision. Vanderwood was his handler, not his lover. Love had no place in their lives with the kind of jobs they were doing. It wasn’t a good idea to get involved with the emotion at all but he couldn’t help it. Saeyoung was the only one who managed to cheer him up, who managed to make him smile and remind him the world wasn’t all that bad.
He had just finished making the food and had laid out the plates on the table when Saeyoung walked out of his room, his hair was still slightly wet from the shower and Vanderwood caught the soft scent of strawberries as he walked by him.
“You’re done already? That was fast, you never fail to amaze me, Mary.” The redhead flitted around the kitchen, grabbing a can of PhD Pepper to drink with his dinner but Vanderwood grabbed him by the wrist before he could turn around to go sit at the table.
“Stop calling me that. And I’m not letting you drink this.” Vanderwood tried to ignore the tingling feeling of electricity shooting through his arm from where he was touching Saeyoung as he plucked the can from his hand before letting him go.
“But why not-”
“You already drank six cans of it in the last 24 hours.”
“But-”
“No.”
“Wh-”
“No.”
“But I nee-”
“You need water, not this sugary bullshit.”
Saeyoung pouted up at him and Vanderwood glared back, trying his hardest not to internally coo over how ridiculously cute he looked when he did that. He was caught off guard when the pout turned into a smile, making the tips of his ears tint pink. Never had he been so glad in his life to have long hair, it had helped cover up his face, hiding the blush from Saeyoungs view several times.
“Seeing how worried you are over my health kinda makes me happy. It’s almost as if you actually care about me~” The teasing words made Vanderwood gently smack him on the back of his head before ushering him to the table.
“I don’t. It’s my job as your handler to make sure you’re healthy. Now shut up and go eat your food.”
“Whatever you say Mary~”
“Don’t call me that.”
Despite his teasing jokes and how messy he was, he could tell Saeyoung cared for him the same way Vanderwood cared for him. On those extra rough nights when they were on missions, Saeyoung would gently hold him and reassure him it was going to be alright, that he would be okay, that he was there to protect Vanderwood, they always had each others back, didn't they?
He watched Saeyoung sit down and start eating when Vanderwood joined him at the table, mumbling a small ‘thank you’ when the redhead complimented his cooking, something he never failed to do whenever he cooked for him. He let a soft smile slip onto his own face as he watched Saeyoung happily eating the food he cooked for him. It made him happy, knowing Saeyoung made an effort to show him how much he appreciated him and his cooking.
Saeyoungs happy little smiles as he ate his food or welcomed him back home and the sweet little gestures of affection he gave him were the only things that made Vanderwood happy now. They were the only things that made him smile. Thinking of Saeyoung had always lifted his low spirits and having Saeyoungs arms around him when he comforted him never failed to make him feel better and calm down from his panic attacks.
His life was dull before he met Saeyoung. He just did his work at the agency, killing countless people to do his job and escape without getting hurt. Granted they earned the death they received at his hands, according to the background checks and case files they were all terrible human beings. He was so young when he picked up the gun, he was so young when he had his first kill. Job after job, kill after kill made him lose his sense of identity, he was nothing but a killing machine in the Agency’s hands until they assigned him the task of watching over the hacker. He thought it would be a boring, simple task but he had been proven wrong a couple years in.
Being with the hacker was like a rollercoaster, he never knew what he was going to find whenever he entered the bunker. Saeyoung liked to make robots and gadgets, he had nearly scarred Vanderwood with one of his little flame-throwing robot puppies once. Vanderwood smiled fondly at the memory, Saeyoung had been an apologetic mess that day and Vanderwood later found the robot pulled apart in his room with notes scattered around it, the scribbly handwriting barely legible. He caught his name written on one of the papers and he picked it up, a small smile on his face when he saw that Saeyoung was now planning to reprogram all his robots to recognize Vanderwood as a friendly face to prevent him from getting hurt. It became clear to him that day that the small redhead cared for him, even if it was just a little bit.
Vanderwood pushed away the old memories from his thoughts as he turned his gaze back to his own plate and started eating. He kept finding himself thinking about Saeyoung almost all the time now, and it was getting worrisome. He couldn’t risk letting Saeyoung find out about his feelings but more importantly, he couldn’t risk letting the Agency find out. If they did, it was certain they would either use Saeyoung against him as a weakness to force him into doing missions he would normally turn down or even assign a new handler to him. He found them both equally unwanted; he hated the idea of them using Seven as a pawn but mostly he hated the thought of Seven with someone other than him. He knew it was wrong of him to get so possessive over someone who wasn’t even his but he couldn’t help himself.
He didn’t like the idea of the man he loved with someone else.
He had accepted it, he had accepted the fact that he, Vanderwood, was in love with Saeyoung Choi. He had been hopelessly in love with him for months, for years. He still doesn’t know exactly when he started falling for him, he had tried to push his feelings back for so long but eventually he knew he couldn't stop them. He learned to accept that his heart now belonged to Saeyoung, but he could never have him. He couldn’t risk letting himself have him, he couldn’t risk putting them both in danger.
Vanderwood had always told Saeyoung love had no place in the heart of an agent, but he had no right to tell him that, especially when the person he was telling it to was the person he had fallen in love with. He was the one who couldn’t stop himself from falling in love, and it scared him a little bit that he didn’t want to stop himself. He didn’t want to, and yet he still tried to keep it to himself for Saeyoungs safety.
He couldn’t help but think of what they could have had if they left the Agency together. He would have the chance to actually ask him out, to hold him in his arms and kiss him. He would have the chance to take him out on dates, go stargazing or even just sit together on the couch huddled in blankets, basking in each others company and warmth. Maybe they could even get married.
He liked the idea of that, they would get to spend the rest of their lives together happily and far away from danger. This time, Vanderwood could be the one to hug and kiss him to welcome him home. They could even adopt a kid or two, he was more than happy to have a small family with Saeyoung. Spending the rest of his life with him was all he could dream about, it’s what was keeping him going; knowing as long as he takes care of Saeyoung he can keep staying with him as his handler.
“You look happy.”
The words pulled him out of his thoughts and he realized he had a small wistful smile on his face the whole time. He couldn’t stop the blush when he saw how Saeyoung was watching him, his elbow was propped up on the table and he had his chin in the palm of his hand. The redhead had a soft smile on his face and he realized he hadn’t heard the sound of cutlery clinking against the plate for a while, meaning Saeyoung had caught the smile on his face and had abandoned his food in favor of watching Vanderwood, making his face slowly turn a deeper shade of red.
“Is our favorite little maid blushing-”
“Zip it.”
“He is!~ Aw, aren’t you the cutest thing in the world~” That did nothing to help stop the blushing. He shot a halfhearted glare at him but it only made Saeyoungs smile grow wider.
That smile, that damned smile. He both hated and loved it with how it made his heart beat so fucking loud and made him feel like a soft goopy mess inside. He hated how easily Saeyoung could reduce him into a flustered mess but at the same time he loved it. He loved it because it was Saeyoung who made him feel that way. Saeyoung made him happy, happier than he had ever been in his life and he knew he would go through hell a hundred times just to keep seeing that sweet smile on his face.
Vanderwood would easily keep his feelings to himself if it meant he would get to keep staying with him like this. Saeyoung didn’t need to know how he felt. As long as Vanderwood was with Saeyoung, he felt like everything was going to be okay.