Chapter Text
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: moons
Sirius Black: moon man
Sirius Black: my main moon man
Remus Lupin: I'm not letting you copy my English Lit essay.
Sirius Black: mean
James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: peter
James Potter: pete this is an emergency
James Potter: PETER IM DYING
James Potter: alright im not really dying
James Potter: but im abt to be
James Potter: me and sirius both didn’t do the lit essay and we have minnie next and remus wont let us copy
James Potter: what im saying is can I borrow ur essay so I don’t die next period
James Potter: dude
James Potter: do u ever check ur messages
James Potter: the bell just went. make sure evans crys at my funeral
Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: sorry!!!!! i forgot the password to my phone again!!!!! i hope you didnt die!!!
Sirius Black to Sirius ft. other people: we’re all going to marcie gotards tonight
Remus Lupin to Sirius ft other people: Stop changing the name of the group chat.
James Potter to Sirius ft other people: what time
Sirius Black to Sirius ft other people: she said nine so ten??????? We were making out so I couldnt really hear
Remus Lupin renamed the group Other People ft. Sirius Black
Sirius Black: fuck u lupin
Remus Lupin renamed the group Other People ft. The Whore Sirius Black
Sirius Black: ur disinvited to marcies tonight. I'm disinviting u.
Remus Lupin renamed the group Other People ft The Whore Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Who Would Prefer Not To Go Tonight Anyway
James Potter: christ
James Potter to Remus Lupin: hey ive got an idea
James Potter: nvm I looked it up its a felony
Peter Pettigrew to Sirius Black: sirius give me back my pencil
Sirius Black: I dont have it
Peter Pettigrew: i literally just saw u take it like two seconds ago
Peter Pettigrew: sirius
Sirius Black: im commandeering it in the name of the law
Peter Pettigrew: using it to do ur overdue legal studies hmw does not make it ‘commandeered in the name of the law’
Peter Pettigrew: sirius
Peter Pettigrew: siriusly
Peter Pettigrew: hahahaha im hilarious
Peter Pettigrew: but for real give it back
Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: Pete you told me to text you when I got up to run so you could come, so this is me doing it
Peter Pettigrew: ajdhfoahfh
Remus Lupin: I take it you won't be coming this morning then
Peter Pettigrew: aoifajoahgjviuahjadjfha sdhgashgajsfhgf
James Potter to MarauDUHS: i cant come guys sorry
Peter Pettigrew: what why
Sirius Black: hes ditching us to ogle evans
James Potter: we’re just going to the library to work on a paper
Sirius Black: let me rephrase
Sirius Black: hes ditching us to ogle evans in the library
James Potter to Sirius Black: coast clear
Sirius Black: the meatball is in the spaghetti
James Potter: i told u not to use that
Sirius Black: i think its cool
James Potter: its not
Sirius Black: just do ur half
Sirius Black: and it is cool
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: it’s not.
Sirius Black to James Potter: how often do u text lupin abt me
James Potter: im going to shove the meatball up ur ass
Sirius Black: it was an expression. A metaphorical meatball.
James Potter: dont u ever text me ‘a metaphorical meatball’ ever again
Peter Pettigrew to shitty version of the spice girls: where is everyone??????
Peter Pettigrew: hello????
Peter Pettigrew: u can't all be away
Peter Pettigrew: im sitting alone at the lunch table like a loser!!!!
Peter Pettigrew: im going to kill u all
Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: sorry Pete I was sick! I have no idea where everyone else was.
James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: shit I forgot to tell u I had detention for the whole ‘colouring in every school whiteboard with sharpie’ thing sorry man
Sirius Black to Peter Pettigrew: i just didn’t wanna come to school
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: I just saw Lily write her number on James’s arm
Sirius Black: WHAT
Sirius Black: WHEN
Sirius Black: ON PURPOSE??????????
Remus Lupin: apparently it was for their history project but she was laughing at one of his lame puns at the time so clearly it was more than just school
Sirius Black: oH My gOD
Remus Lupin: are you doing the random capitalisation because it annoys me or because you’re genuinely excited
Sirius Black: a liTtLe Of bOtH
James Potter: to good hair and shitty personalities: me and remus are in the lobby hurry up peter
James Potter: and sirus
Sirius Black: i can't believe I was the afterthought
Sirius Black: you even spelt my name wrong
James Potter: hurry the fuck up
Sirius Black: i never get appreciated
James Potter to Remus Lupin: LILY IS SITTING NEXT TO ME IN ASSEMBLY
James Potter: SHE JUST CAME IN AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME
James Potter: REMUS
James Potter: I CAN SEE UR PHONE BUZZING IN UR POCKET I KNOW UR GETTING THESE
James Potter: THIS SI THE GREATEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND UR JUST SITTING THERE LISTENING TO BINNS AND IGNORING ME
James Potter: UNBELIEVABLE
Sirius Black to Peter Pettigrew: Pete I just saw a dog
Remus Lupin to james can do better handstands than sirius this is a true fact and has been proven: i have booze. Anyone who wants in I'm at my house.
James Potter: you alright?
Remus Lupin: fine. You coming?
James Potter: in the car now
Sirius Black: come pick me up
Peter Pettigrew: me to
James Potter: Pete u have a shit taste in music
Peter Pettigrew: if u stopped hacking into my Spotify u wouldn’t have to see it
James Potter: ……………………………………….. but then I would have to………… spend money……… on my own account…………….
Peter Pettigrew: yes
James Potter: don’t be ridiculous
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: I JUST SAW PRONGS AND EVANS IN HIS CAR
Remus Lupin: WHAT
Sirius Black: HOLD ON IM GOING TO GET CLOSER
Remus Lupin: MAKE SURE THEY DON’T SEE YOU
Sirius Black: moony i am a master of disguise u were there when I won best dressed spy at the library bookworm competition ofc I wont get caught
Remus Lupin: you were literally seven then
Remus Lupin: and dressing like a spy doesn’t mean you have spy like capabilities
Remus Lupin: and you were seven
Remus Lupin: Sirius?
Sirius Black: im a noisy dickbrain who can't mind my own business
Remus Lupin: Sirius????
Sirius Black: i also have a tiny wanger
Sirius Black: that was evans she took my phone
Remus Lupin: they caught you.
Sirius Black: maybe
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: I just want to say that i don’t
Sirius Black: have a tiny wanger I mean
Remus Lupin: Sirius I cannot even express how little I care about this
Peter Pettigrew to a very dangerous gang: whos keen to skip calc
Sirius Black: I mean i always am but why
Peter Pettigrew: didn’t study for the quiz
James Potter: thats today????????????????????
James Potter: im coming to
Remus Lupin to James Potter: did you see him today????
James Potter: no. ive called and he isnt picking up
James Potter: im going to go look for him
Remus Lupin: wait for me by the library gate
Peter Pettigrew to Sirius Black: where are you????????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: everyones looking
James Potter to Sirius Black: mate where are you
James Potter: sirius
Sirius Black: roof fo wtaertower
James Potter: dont move
James Potter to Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew: found him
Remus Lupin: thank god
James Potter: hes on the watertower roof and he sounds plastered
Peter Pettigrew: just heard from elliot harris that he saw his mum outside the supermarket and she spat at him
James Potter: jesus
James Potter: I'm halfway to him
James Potter to A Collection of Morons who are Constantly Late: I lvoe lilly
James Potter: a lot ilke a lot a lot all the t,ime
James Potter: sdhes so prretyy I don’y kno what ot do abt it
Peter Pettigrew: how drunk are you??????
Sirius Black renamed the group moony accidentally got to second base with angela Kelly in english
Peter Pettigrew: ahahhahahahaha
Remus Lupin: I TRIPPED
Remus Lupin: I DIDN’T MEAN TO
Remus Lupin renamed the group I hate Sirius Black
Sirius Black renamed the group moony accidentally got to second base with angela Kelly in English get rekt lupin every time u change it i’ll change it back
James Potter to Remus Lupin: YOU'RE GETTING A FUCKIN AWARD FOR SCHOLARS OR SMTH HOLY SHIT
James Potter: HAVE YOU SEEN THE NOTICE
James Potter: ITS OUTSIDE A BLOCK
James Potter: CONGRATS MAN
Peter Pettigrew to Remus Lupin: GOOD FOR YOU MOONY
Peter Pettigrew: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Pettigrew: the guys are probs gunna make u dress up to accept it
Peter Pettigrew: like that time i got a participation in chess and they made me go up in my dressing gown
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: ur so nerdy
Sirius Black: nice one tho
Sirius Black: u should go on stage in a lobster costume
Sirius Black: i know a guy
Peter Pettigrew to NO MORE SCHOOL MOTHERFUCKERS: shit that chem paper was hard
Peter Pettigrew: heard anything?
James Potter: my mums hairdressers having a baby
Peter Pettigrew: fucks sake i meant abt exams
Peter Pettigrew: but tell her I said congrats
Remus Lupin to assholes anonymous: I’ll leave this chat if you keep talking about memes, Sirius
Sirius Black: dont be a hater
Sirius Black: or should I say
Sirius Black: a memater
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
Peter Pettigrew to I will leave again if you start referring to memes as ‘your only reason for living’ sirius I swear: I JUST SAW PRONGS AND LILY MAKING OUT IN THE BOYS LOCKEROOM
Sirius Black: WHAT
Sirius Black: IM RUNNING OVER
Remus Lupin: take a photo I'm on the other side of the school
Sirius Black: RUN LUPIN THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING
Remus Lupin: everything is history in the making. It’s the definition of history.
Sirius Black: JUST HURRY UP STOP BEING LAME