Work Text:
The first time he notices it, it’s only because the fucking Pikachu makes a big deal about it.
Kirishima is sitting next to him, his hand griping his spiked hair in frustration as he slowly goes through the rest of his homework. Every so often Katsuki looks over to make sure he’s still on the right path before returning to the article he’s reading from his phone. The others had finished their homework ages ago and dispersed to other parts of the common room for whatever reason, but apparently the electric shit looped back with another drink for his bro.
“Dude, why do you have a baby bandage on?”
It seems to take a moment for Kirishima to realize Kaminari is referring the arm opposite of Katsuki. “Oh, I found it!” Kirishima pushes his sleeve up excitedly. “I figured they were left from when Eri was here or something. Cute, yeah?”
Apparently the blonde is immune to Katsuki’s glare. Or completely oblivious to it. His laugh is extremely obnoxious. “That’s so unmanly, dude!”
“Says you!” Kirishima playfully shoves his friend away. “It takes a real man to wear bandages this adorable!” He strikes a sudden pose, causing Katsuki to tilt his head out of the way of the incoming elbow. Katsuki turns the dodge into slamming his hands on the low table in front of them. “Fuck off Pikachu!”
It’s sudden enough that even Kirishima jumps, though Kaminari only laughs as he walks off. “Whatever you say, man.” Who he’s answering is unclear though Katsuki still grumbles after him until he’s parked himself in front of the TV in the center of the room with some of the others.
“That was unnecessary, don’t ya think?” Kirishima accuses with a grin as he picks his pencil back up.
“What’s unnecessary is you taking so fucking long on one problem! You’re using the wrong formula, it’s the same as his one!” Katsuki growls back as he aggressively points three problems back on the paper while Kirishima mutters a soft “oh.” “How long am I going to have to fix your stupid work for, anyway.”
Kirishima shrugs with a grin that really only pisses Katsuki off. “Well its me so, who can say? As long as you’ll have me, I guess.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes and growls excessively, grabbing his water bottle and vaulting over the back of the couch they’re leaning against to head towards the kitchen. “Finish before I get back!”
“You got it!”
On his way to refill the bottle, Katsuki subtly takes a look at whatever Kaminari was referring to. What he sees is half of an All Might-printed band-aid peaking out from under the shirt sleeve. He never saw any of those on Eri, though he’s certain he saw a box in the garbage that time when he was being punished. He remembered thinking that fucking Deku must have never outgrown the superhero bandage part of his incessant worship of their teacher.
Unsure what to make of the possibility of Kirishima lying to his friend, Katsuki files the information away for now.
He’s upset. Katsuki realizes, irritated that he didn’t even see it until Aizawa had to call for him three times. Though after he does, he can’t seem to stop noticing. He was going to do something about it between classes…until something Deku said got him to snap at him, leading Icyhot to throw in his snarky-ass two cents and then he’s yelling again.
“Aww Kirishima!” Pancake face exclaims far too loudly. “What a cute Fat Gum bandage!” His attention is pulled away from whatever Deku is frantically ranting about trying to defuse the sudden tension between his would-be knight in shining armor and his childhood friend.
Katsuki looks over in time to see Kirishima’s face light up at the acknowledgment of the bright orange band-aid on his arm. This time in clear view. “Isn’t it? Amajiki-senpai spotted a box of them last time we were on patrol! The guy in the shop tried to give them to us for free.” He’d never be used to that.
“I’ll bet Fat Gum loved them!” Raccoon-eyes gushes, finding more under Kirishima’s sleeve. “I wouldn’t expect he had merch of something that isn’t food.” Deku had jumped into the conversation about superhero merch, Icyhot following behind him, leaving Katsuki alone again.
He doesn’t pay attention to the actual conversation after that. He’s too focused on Kirishima’s smile lighting up the room. Suddenly he could breath easier, warmed by Kirishima’s smile.
Suddenly realizing his own train of thought, Katsuki could feel his face burst into flames as Present Mic walked into the room, signaling the start of class and all conversation died. He chanced a glance at the redhead as class began. Kirishima’s practically giddy in his seat, watching Present Mic with that stupid grin on his face.
At least he’s not upset anymore.
It was the end of the day after their training. Most had left for the dorms by the time Katsuki made it back to his locker, freshly showered. Kirishima was still there on the bench. He didn’t move as Katsuki got closer though, staring blankly into his open locker. Those stupid bright band-aids were back over his cuts from the day’s training again.
“Tell that fucking Pikachu if he pulls that shit again, I’ll kill him.” It hadn’t been a big deal, but Kaminari had let off too strong of a charge, bringing down the structure they were standing on and getting them all unnecessarily bruised.
Kirishima huffs lightly, pulling a grin onto his face that Katsuki really doesn’t like. “I’ll let him know.” He replies too softly, like he’s somewhere else.
Katsuki watches him for a second, unsettled by the way Kirishima seems to blend into the bench he’s sitting on, staring at the small mirror in the back of his locker without a sound. Without a glance. Without…anything. Katsuki’s chest feels constricted again as he drops down next to Kirishima on the bench. He wants to say something, but can’t think of the words. Instead, he hangs the towel and pulls his uniform pants on while Kirishima’s gaze drops to a bright All Might bandage on his scuffed knee.
Eventually he can’t stand the colorless feeling and bolts up as he slams his locker shut. Kirishima doesn’t even flinch. When Katsuki doesn’t show any indication of leaving though, Kirishima’s arms eventually pull around his own sides.
“I just…” He starts, eyes flicking to Katsuki briefly. “There are days I can just feel it, ya know? I wont want to go to sleep ‘cause I can just…tell.” A deep breath as he relaxes again and rubs his eyes. “Do you ever get nightmares?”
Echoes of his own shouting (held captive, jumping awake in the middle of the night with his quirk firing off) ring in his ears as he observes Kirishima, who doesn’t even need to wait for his response to know he does. The walls aren’t that thick in the dorms.
“How do you deal with them?”
He doesn’t seem to actually be waiting for an answer as he breaths deeply, moving things around as if he’s finally packing up to go. Katsuki still stands mostly dressed beside him as he gets up, picking up the little box of bright bandages to put into his bag.
“Diffuser.” Katsuki finally replies after a minute. Kirishima freezes but doesn’t comment, he seems genuinely surprised that Katsuki even answered. “Lavender and Chamomile. Sometimes white noise.”
Katsuki’s watching his reaction carefully as Kirishima seems to consider this, waiting for the judgment. “I’ll have to try that. I mean, it’s not too often yet but,” he shrugs, “In this line of work, who knows when they’ll really start up again, right?” He says it with that smile that really pisses Katsuki off.
He’s lying.
“We’re neighbors.” Katsuki volunteers before he can stop himself.
Kirishima considers him for a moment, seeming to work out exactly what he’d just said. When he smiles again, it’s softer this time, genuine, and directly at him. “Thanks, man.”
His brain seems to stutter for a second before Katsuki turns away. “What-fucking-ever.” He grumbles, not able to look Kirishima in the eye anymore. The redhead takes the opportunity to quickly put one of the bandages directly over the fat cut still across Katsuki’s cheek.
“For luck!” He explains easily, moving to get up. “I’m gonna go see if Kaminari’s back in his own head yet so I can kick his ass.” Kirishima pats his shoulder seemingly without thinking as he walks out of the room.
It burns. In a good way. And he can breathe again. Katsuki reaches up to touch the bandage on his face, hesitating for just a second and for way too long before ripping it off.
Fuck.
Those fucking bandages again.
“Oi, why do you use those dumbass kiddie band-aids?”
“Hm?” Kirishima meets his gaze in the mirror, pausing his hand where it was smoothing said band-aid across his cheek. “What?”
Katsuki rolls his eyes, readjusting the towel over his shoulder and patting down a couple of his own freshly-washed cuts. “I have actual bandages, you know.”
“Ah…well…” He looks away, shifting nervously. “this week has been…a little stressful. I know it’s kind of stupid but…it really cheers me up, ya know?”
Fuck. His nightmares. Of course he’s been stressed, how the fuck did he not notice? Was he really so wrapped up in his own stupid shit he didn’t even…?
Steeling himself and walking forward, Katsuki casually reaches for the box and takes a few out. Kirishima watches with confused eyes and Katsuki unwraps each one and puts them over his own visible cuts on his arm. Then on the other arm. Then on his face, nearly identical to where Kirishima’s was sitting on his own cheek below his scared eye.
When the final one is applied on his other cheek, he looks at Kirishima who quickly looks away as if he hadn’t been staring. Though the faint tint of color on his cheeks suggests otherwise. Satisfied that he’s finally done the right thing, Katsuki pulls at his arm. “Bed. It’s too damn late.”
Kirishima lets himself be pulled along but doesn’t remove his arm from Katsuki’s grip. In fact, he lets the hand slip down his arm until he’s able to hesitantly take the blonde’s in his own. He never had taken Katsuki up on his vague offer. Katsuki had been as clear as he could, but he’s aware of his communication “issues”.
“Can…”
“I already told you, idiot.” Katsuki doesn’t withdraw his hand. “I don’t fucking care where you sleep.”
That’s the closest to direct permission he’s ever really given the redhead. The hesitant smile is weak, but there as Kirishima’s grip tightens. “As long as you’ll have me, then.”
Katsuki isn’t sure it’s not the other way around.
It’s become a normal thing for them. Once or twice a week, Kirishima would end up in Katsuki’s room to take advantage of the sleep aides that had been indirectly volunteered to him. He even kept a futon folded in Katsuki’s room. Kirishima would happily go on about whatever was on his mind, Katsuki occasionally responding with a grunt or a word or two. Just enough that Kirishima knew he was listening. Eventually he’d tire himself out, muttering goodnight before curling up to fall asleep.
Today is different though. He’d had a rough day in the field with Amajiki and the newest intern, Rock-Roller. Hostage situation. Two casualties. He seemed rather annoyed he only ended up with cuts and bruises.
Kirishima hadn’t even said anything when he’d knocked on Katsuki’s door, not even looking at him. Katsuki let him in anyways, continuing his own nightly rituals while Kirishima unfolded the futon and lay on top of it, staring at nothing.
When Katsuki came back in, Kirishima is fiddling with the Fat Gum bandage on one of his thumbs, seemingly lost in thought.
Katsuki knows what his normal response would be. If it was anybody but Kirishima he’d be yelling at them to snap out of it by now. To get over it. It was part of the job and they needed to learn to move on. But Kirishima felt things deeply, he knew. If he’s honest with himself…Katsuki is sometimes envious of Kirishima’s uncanny ability to empathize with just about anyone. Because if it was anybody else, he’d definitely be yelling.
“Hey.” Kirishima doesn’t look away from the bandage, doesn’t respond. He just wants to tell the redhead he was turning the lights out, but he doesn’t even manage that much. Instead, he waits for a just a moment before flipping the lights anyways.
Once Katsuki is settled in his own bed, Kirishima speaks. “Do you think I’m really cut out for this?”
Unsure what he’s even hearing, Katsuki sits back up. “What?”
“I know I’m kind of…a wuss. I’m just…”
“What?” Katsuki demands, standing right up and going over to Kirishima. “Says who?” It certainly wasn’t from him.
Startled, Kirishima’s eyes are on him as he looms over his place on the floor. “I-I mean…nobody, but. I mean, it’s me…” He says with a half shrug as if it explains everything.
“Yeah it’s you! And whoever the fuck says anything like that about you is dead!”
Kirishima stares up at him, not sure what to make of the sudden declaration. Katsuki squats down in front of him. “You’re cut out for anything you damn-well want to be and if anybody ever tells you otherwise I will burn them to ash.” He can’t breathe. What was he saying? “But you can always stop. You’re made for this, but if it doesn’t feel right to you, then you move on. As long as you keep dedicating yourself.” He meant absolutely every word but he sure as fuck hadn’t meant to say so much so definitively. Nothing he can do about it now as he stares at the red-head not a foot from his face. Kirishima doesn’t seem to know how to react either as he stares back with wide eyes. It takes until Katsuki wavers slightly due to his position for Kirishima to lunge forward, pulling Katsuki to his knees as his arms wrap around his neck.
“Thank you.”
By the end of their second year, the two are rarely seen apart at the school. They have their own internships, their own practices, but they gravitate towards each other so often that apparently their classmates have “noticed”. Pancake face and her infuriating lack of fear of him has asked several times if they were “official” but he had thus far actively avoided answering her.
He still helps Kirishima with his homework at the common room table weekly. Kirishima still finds his way into his room several times a week. Though these days he typically finds himself sharing beds with him because, he says, it’s easier than keeping the bulky futon in his room. This didn’t start until the diffuser breaks for a while, leaving Katsuki sleeplessly staring at his ceiling several nights in a row.
Eventually, he’s able to fall asleep, though not for long. He wakes suddenly to his ears ringing and his bed half destroyed and smoldering around him, breathing heavily. He’s sure there’s a voice nearby. He’s sure there’s several, but he can’t seem to move. There’s movement near his door but he knows it’s just his classmates, knows they are no danger to him. The only one he registers is a red blur before he approaches him. Again he knows there’s a voice but he can’t, he just can’t!
“Katsuki.” The gentle voice pulls him out of his own head finally.
“Eijirou?” He thinks he says.
“That’s right.” Hands appear over his own heavily scared ones and he’s able to look up. “Hey, man.” He’s too brave. He’s not scared. He should be scared! He should be-!
An explosion sets off and he’s immediately terrified for the other until he realizes. Kirishima’s turned his hands down with hardened hands. They’re both fine. Slowly, Katsuki looks back up and meets his eyes. “I’m fine.” Eijirou assures with a smile. When Katsuki’s hands stop shaking, Eijirou reaches forward with one hand. “You hit your head though.” A thumb brushes below a bruise he can feel forming and suddenly Katsuki can breathe again.
“Come on.” He urges gently, leading Katsuki off what’s left of his bed and out of the room. Katsuki notices nobody’s in the hall as Eijirou brings him into his own room and leads him to sit on his bed. He's overly sure to make sure Katsuki is put together enough to leave him before moving over to his desk and fishing through the drawer.
“Why didn’t you tell me, bro?” When he returns, he sits facing Katsuki so he can apply the bandage to his forehead. Katsuki doesn’t even have to ask to know its one of the kiddie bandages. He finds that he doesn’t mind though, especially when Eijirou’s hands are on him again. Smiling at his handy work, Kirishima gets up again to throw away the trash from the bandage. “I know you don’t want to talk, but we need to get some sleep. We can deal with your room in the morning.”
Katsuki nods, so Eijirou flips the light off and makes his way back to his bed with the light coming through the balcony door illuminating the room. When he reaches for Katsuki again though, he pulls back.
“Katsuki.” Katsuki looks at him. “You can’t hurt me.” It’s not true. They both know it’s not true. He’s been caught off guard before and had the scars to prove it, but it’s what he needs to believe right now. He lets Eijirou’s arms wrap around him slowly, holding him close as he leads him to lay down on the bed with him. When he moves to let go, Katsuki’s arm pulls him back. He knows it’s not true. He knows Eijirou can be hurt, but he won’t be. Not tonight. And with the comforting weight against his chest grounding him once more, Katsuki falls asleep.
The next day everything’s back to normal, even though everything seems different now. When Katsuki’s bed is quickly replaced and the diffuser is finally fixed, the two end up drifting together more nights than they don’t, but that was expected. Eijirou acts like he’ll be kicked out at any moment but when Katsuki never makes any indication of any plan to do so, he just shrugs his familiar “as long as you’ll have me, then” even though Katsuki is sure at this point that he’ll never willingly be able to give this man up.
And despite his irrational fear of his classmates realizing how weak he could be, he finds his classmates aren’t walking on eggshells around him. In fact, they seem more comfortable around him. They’re now joining Eijirou as he smiles cheerfully and begs for Katsuki’s help with the homework. But all this is ok, he decides. Because along with it all, Eijirou is now “Eijirou”, just like Katsuki is finally “Katsuki”.
It was sudden.
Too sudden.
One minute he’s texting pancake face that fine, dinner makes sense but god damnit he’s not professing his undying love why would he need three dozen roses. And the next he’s answering a call from Deku. He barely gets out “The fu-” before Deku interrupts with what he suddenly realizes is his worst fear come to life.
Eijirou is missing.
It was just a patrol, fucking routine. But he and his partner missed check in. Then they missed shift change. Then they found Rock-Roller in an alley.
It takes days, weeks, before they hear something, anything about any possible whereabouts. Long enough that his classmates are not-so-subtly trying to prepare him for what they clearly start to feel is inevitable after this long. All they manage to do is piss him off.
Fucking Deku though. Deku never gives up. And with Icyhot standing beside him, they follow as Deku leads them into a battle they’d known was coming since their first year at UA. Because of course its Shiguraki. Who else could do that to Rock-Roller.
In the midst of everything, the blood, the explosions, Sero yells for him. He barely pays attention until Kaminari shouts “Eijirou!” and suddenly only one thing matters. They’d taken out or captured most of the forces, and Deku was taking on Shiguraki with half-and-half backing him up. Knowing the threat soon wouldn’t be, Katsuki abandons the action in favor of blasting through the wall Sero and Kaminari directed him towards, shouting Eijirou’s name. He’s there, alright. Looking more broken than the indestructible man had ever been. Barely conscious though completely unaware of the world around him and fighting a loosing battle against the degraded wounds scattered across his body. Sero binds what he can before carrying the redhead out of the battle with Kaminari and Katsuki clearing the way.
Deku wins, of course. He never really doubted the fucking nerd would. He stops by the hospital often. So does most of the class at some point or another. Amajiki is there the most besides Katsuki though, he clearly blames himself. Katsuki doesn’t talk to them; he doesn’t talk at all. If he’s honest, he barely notices as the days drag on.
It’s too much, Recovery Girl tells him. He’s too weak for her power, she says, he has to heal on his own before she can help. Katsuki can’t even find the strength to be angry anymore as he stares at the broken man, willing him to be ok.
Eventually, Eijirou is almost recognizable in his own skin. Eventually, Recovery Girl is able to help along the decayed patches spread across his body. And eventually, the doctors confess they aren’t sure why he’s not awake yet.
It’s well into the second month, when Katsuki is silently gathering things from their not-so-secretly shared dorm room that he sees them again. The band-aids. With a shaky sigh he’s glad no-one hears, Katsuki holds the box to his chest and just breathes for a few minutes. He packs them too.
Back at the hospital, there’s a flurry of activity in the hall as he nears Eijirou’s room. He snags a passing nurse gently by the arm, not even needing to ask before she tells him he’s awake. He approaches the door as his doctor walks out, telling him that he’s weak and barely aware, but yes, he’s awake. Katsuki doesn’t even wait for permission before barging into the room behind him.
His eyes are barely open, his head turned towards the window.
“Hey.” Katsuki tries quietly. It takes a moment, but Eijirou slowly responds.
“Katsuki?” If the room wasn’t silent, he probably wouldn’t have heard him.
Katsuki walks towards his usual chair, dropping his bag at the foot of the bed as he sat down. “It’s about fucking time you woke up.” He accuses without any of the heat he used to have. He hasn’t been able to be angry at this man since their first year.
Eijirou smiles anyway. “It is…you really…” It’s a sad smile, a self-deprecating one he hadn’t seen in not nearly long enough. “Nobody…they said…and I knew…Rock-Roller…” It’s not fully comprehensible, but Katsuki lets him work through it. He’d been out for far too long, and nobody was sure what he remembered anyway. “But you…you came…” Tears now. “You actually…you really…!”
Katsuki’s sure he’ll later be angry Eijirou ever doubted him but he’s too tired. A bone-deep exhaustion that comes from too much worry and not enough sleep and he can’t do anything but say his name as the redhead continues the quiet sobs.
“Eijirou,” he’s stunned. He couldn’t believe he’d ever given Eijirou a reason to think he’s anything less than completely devoted to him. Something he now regretted. Taking both hands from his pockets, he quietly smooths down the gentle adhesive over a forming scar on Eijirou’s wrist before gently lifting it enough for him to see, too. He lets the understanding sink in as Eijirou stares at the little, brightly colored Crimson Riot bandage carefully placed on his skin. He waits patiently as Katsuki slowly threads his own fingers through Eijirou’s undoubtedly weak ones and leans forward until their joined hands are resting against his cheek.
“I would burn the whole fucking world to ash if it got between us.” Eijirou is still a little slow to process, but after a moment his eyes widen at the extreme declaration. A promise, really, if he’s honest with himself. A promise he should have committed himself to more fully months ago.
Then Eijirou smiles, really smiles, and laughs, and it finally feels like time’s passing again. His light’s returned. Life can go on. A life he can spend with this man.
“So extra.” Eijirou chuckles, extending two fingers to brush against Katsuki’s cheek. “But I love you too.”