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She never understands. How could she?
Alone, Sayaka walked back towards the student council room. Having nearly witnessed the President’s expulsion from Hyakkou Academy just moments before, she was at a loss. Where she should feel elation that the woman who she reveres would continue to reign over the academy, she felt tension. Dejection even.
Ever since Yumeko Jabami entered the picture, the president was impossible to read. It seemed as if they lived on another plane of existence. One where Sayaka could not feel welcome. No. One she could not even attempt to enter. Laughing at the most absurd of ideas, and in a battle of minds discussing abstract concepts that seem to hold no value to the place they were in. No matter how hard she racked her mind, the way the two interacted with each other was impenetrable.
While that alone would be enough to rip Sayaka’s hard work to pieces, the president has ignored and rejected her presence more than she ever has in the history of knowing the secretary. She had never seen herself as that important to the president’s power. If anything, she was more like her handmaiden. Waiting on her, helping her, advising her when asked. Still, she was fine with that. As long as the president was within width’s reach, Sayaka was content.
Recently though, Sayaka had become a spectre. Even if she reached her hand out, it would pass right through the body she so longs to grasp onto. At the gamble between Yumeko and the president, her presence felt unwelcome. Looming in the sidelines, hoping that the president would call the game quits or say that it was all a joke. She even decided that she would be the past! Reducing her chances for victory before the match had even started. What could she possibly have been thinking?
Worst of all was her stare. No matter what she tried to reject or counter, the president’s icy eyes alone silenced her. Sayaka was powerless to the potential of losing her, and the president didn’t care. She’d rather risk everything. Her leadership. Her academy. Her peons. Her…
Tears started to burn at the edge of her eyes. Cross examining the president was difficult in its essence, but excruciatingly taxing in this context.
Reaching the entrance to the room, Sayaka dragged herself through the door, pushing her body to keep moving. It was empty and dark inside. The only light was emanating from the aquarium lining the wall. Like a moth to a lamp, she walked up to the tank, imitating the president’s constant return to the tank herself. Maybe if she was more like the president, she could better understand what drove the woman. Maybe, she would be like Yumeko. Maybe, the president would like her better.
Maybe.
Sayaka brought her hand up to the glass of the tank, watching as her reflection followed. As if reaching out to the president herself, she pressed the palm of her hand flat to the surface. If the only way she could be with the president was in her imagination, so be it.
The first drop of tears fell from her right eye, cascading down her cheek before plummeting to the ground. Had she not sniffed she would’ve heard the door to the council room opening quietly behind her. She hadn’t.
“Sayaka,” Kirari said, “you haven’t left yet?” It was more of a statement than a question.
God, it’s as if she knew each move she was prepared to make. Sayaka, determined to keep her composure, wiped the back of her palm across her face before turning to face the woman haunting her every thought.
“President. No, I haven’t. I will be heading out now.” Sayaka said quietly. Her face was tilted down, and she could feel the president’s eye’s boring into her skull, even if she refused to check if that was truly the case. Moving to leave, Sayaka took long strides towards the exit. She would not let the president see her cry again today.
“Sayaka,” Kirari said. “Stay.”
In an instant Sayaka’s feet refused to move. They wouldn’t budge, and her body was screaming for her to run. She could feel her emotions prepared to betray her as well, but she couldn’t push the president further away.
She couldn’t risk it.
Before she could move from her spot, slender fingers were upon her, bracing the sides of her shoulders in a light squeeze. Hot breathe rushed past her ear, sending waves of sensation across her body.
“Say~aka.” Kirari purred, just her name drenched in desire.
Though they were in a large room, the size of a ballroom at least, it felt like the walls had collapsed in on her. There was no retreat, and Sayaka was overstimulated from all the chaos of that evening. She was weary, and her shoulders drooped under the president’s touch. To compensate for the dropped weight, Kirari pressed her arms up, and spun Sayaka around on the balls of her feet.
It was inescapable, and finally they were looking directly into one another’s eyes. Once she could see Sayaka’s face in full, the corners of Kirari’s lips turned up.
“I can’t fathom why you must look like this,” She smirked. “Allow me to cheer you up a bit.”
Blue tinted lips crashed upon Sayaka’s faster than she could comprehend. Her eyes grew wide, as she hesitantly returned the kiss, watching the president as their lips molded to one another’s like putty. This wasn’t their first kiss. Still Sayaka felt like something was new about this. For some reason the feeling in her chest wasn’t joy, as it normally would. It was suffocation.
Kirari pushed forward, leading Sayaka as if in a dance until her back was pressed firmly against the student council table. Upon contact Sayaka whimpered weakly, and the president pushed forward once again, her thigh directed between both of Sayaka’s. The kiss continued sloppily as the president became more ravenous with her movements, and her partner grew numb. Her tongue exploring the very depths of Sayaka’s mouth, raking the insides of her cheeks. Sayaka was reaching an edge, one she wasn’t familiar with. As Kirari’s knee pressed gently near Sayaka’s core, she found resolve.
“Stop.” Sayaka whispered in between kisses. The president continued on, too engulfed in the moment to hear what Sayaka had said.
“Stop! Please, president! I can’t right now. I can’t.”
Sayaka pushed the president's shoulders lightly away from her own body, in her last attempt to get herself across.
Kirari’s self-righteous demeanor was replaced in an instant with shock. A rare expression for the student council president to wear.
Taking a step backwards, Kirari created space as Sayaka’s breathe faltered and tears began to stream from her eyes. She watched her carefully, as the secretary slowly regained her self-control. She looked broken, body bent over like a ragdoll, and Kirari waited in anticipation to see what Sayaka would do next. A small pang of, what she could only define as guilt, stabbed her side. Normally she relished the moment’s Sayaka cried. She found it suited her. Yet this time was different. Kirari could admit that she truly did not understand what was happening in her secretary’s copious mind.
“Speak to me. So, I can know.” Kirari offered.
A gentleness unfamiliar to Sayaka was intertwined with the president’s voice. Though her face was red, and snot began to slowly creep out, she was finally ready. Sayaka may not understand the president, but she would make the president understand her.
She brought her head up to look at the woman in front of her, and the president was nothing if not surprising. The lines on her face were traced with concern. Maybe even fear. Sayaka looked away in surprise, a blush rising to the top of her skin. Kirari forced herself to stifle a small laugh at her secretary’s reaction, as Sayaka finally raised herself up and faced the president fully. She was ready.
“W-Why have things been like this? What am I not getting? What am I not doing?” Sayaka said, gritting her teeth between each question. “I’ve dedicated my whole life to you, and now it’s like I’m a stranger to you. I’ve be-… been replaced. Yumeko Jabami has surpassed me.” Sayaka’s voice rising steadily.
“I don’t understand you! How could I!”
The last part comes out in a throaty gasp, and Sayaka’s face is once again covered in boiling tears. No matter her state, she had finally said it. The tension she felt slipped out of her body slowly, dissipating into the air. Her limbs followed suit, as Sayaka fell forward collapsing onto the ground in front of Kirari. Knees spewed away from her torso, and with the momentum built, her forehead slammed into the floor.
In those 10 seconds of hitting the ground, she falls in and out of a conscious state. How could this happen when she was so close to finally getting the president to understand her? When she finally stood up to the person she could never say no to? Disappointment was bitter.
High on adrenaline, she could hardly feel the pain rushing through her skull, nor notice as Kirari knelt down in front of her. Sayaka was dizzy but still able to apprehend the trickle of blood down the center of her face. Then she felt something else. With the pad of her pointer finger, the president gently lifted Sayaka’s head upwards from her chin until she was looking directly into Sayaka’s bloodshot eyes. A gasp escaped Sayaka’s throat, as Kirari leaned forward planting the flat of her tongue on her wound and licking away the blood escaping there.
“You…” Kirari spoke softly, lips pressed against her forehead. “I kind of like you.”
Sayaka couldn’t help it, as tears burst from her once again. A giggle bubbled out of the president, as she wiped at the tears on Sayaka’s face, only worsening the embarrassment growing in the secretary’s stomach. Ignoring the exasperation on her face, she encircled Sayaka’s torso with her arms, picked her up off the ground and set her down on the table behind her.
As Sayaka’s tears came to a stop, Kirari took the pad of her thumb to smear the remaining blood pooled around the wound. Sayaka’s eyes grew large as Kirari brought her thumb to her bottom lip, swiping it across slowly, and licking her lips to clean up the blood that was left there. With a small grin, she popped her thumb into her mouth to finish the job. Sayaka then flung her head to the side to avoid having to look the president in the eyes after the display she put on.
“I don’t understand you. You don’t understand me.” Kirari began suddenly, as she placed her hands over those in the secretary’s lap. Still looking away, Sayaka clenched her fists, nails digging into her skin. That wasn’t the best start to a response.
“But… that’s fine by me. There would be nothing less intriguing than knowing every move made by the person closest to me.”
Hit by the words coming out of the president’s mouth, Sayaka’s body jolted up in reaction. Could she really mean that? Closest. As if on cue, the president moved forward placing Sayaka in a firm embrace.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you with my decisions, Sayaka. I promise, you are of more value to me than you realize.” Kirari whispered in her ear, before making a long stroke of her tongue across the bottom of her lobe to the top of her helix. Chills tickled Sayaka’s skin as she felt the president caress the side of her face with one of her hands. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
It all felt like a dream in that moment, and still, she knew that the president really spoke those words to her. Suddenly nothing could ruin this moment for her, she thought. She was filled with adoration.
Sayaka released a sigh as Kirari placed her other palm on the exposed skin of her thigh. Moving to look the president in the face, Sayaka hesitated before plunging forward to lock her lips with the pair in front of her. Pushing her tongue gently into the president’s mouth, Sayaka’s heart fluttered as the sound of a small gasp slipped out of the lips pressed against hers. This was what she was missing, and it was much sweeter than she had remembered.
“Will you hold me?” Sayaka mumbled, pulling away from the kiss. “Are you okay with that?”
Smug always looked so good on the president, and with a slight nod of her head and an outstretched hand, Sayaka found her face a dark red as she accepted the offer. Shifting off the table, Sayaka was instantly pulled into the president’s arms.
“I like that. I like that just fine.”