Chapter Text
Asami is reviewing a patient’s file when the elevator door opens, so she gets no warning and no time to prepare for what’s about to happen. She starts to walk into the elevator, looks up, gasps, and freezes in horror. Asami has been at Republic City Hospital for over a year, and she had begun to think that she could handle anything the life of a paediatrician could throw at her. But, she realises, there was nothing that could prepare her for this: there is someone in the elevator.
That someone is a clown.
They have a shock of coarse, orange curly hair. They’re wearing loose-fitting blue clothes and are swathed in an enormous, patched, multi-coloured coat. With, of course, the plastic bulb of a fake flower in their lapel, all the better for squirting water--or some other deadly fluid--into unsuspecting eyes. The flower’s nozzle is aimed threateningly at Asami, she realises, but there’s simply nothing she can do. Almost two decades of martial arts training can’t help her because her muscle memory gets amnesia in the face of that face.
To some, the round red nose, inhumanly white skin and the blood red grin--far larger than any human mouth should be--might appear...cheerful. But Asami knows better. That painted smile is a lie, that whole face is a liar, and even though this clown can’t possibly be him, Asami is six again, and helpless. Any moment now, Asami knows that there will be a terrible, suffocating pie in her face, and her throat will close, and the world will go dark, and the last thing Asami will hear in this life will be the terrible mocking laughter of a clown.
“Going up?” the clown asks cheerfully, and she grins a real grin. It makes her painted mouth twist into an impossible shape, revealing her gleaming teeth.
Asami swallows. “Noooo...no! No. Th-thank you, no! No, I’ll get the next stairs. I mean! I’ll walk up the elevator. Uh, no, I’ll--”
The elevator doors try to close, but Asami’s leg is in the way, so when the edge of one door bumps into her thigh, the doors patiently rumble open again. The clown’s nightmarish face contorts into a horrible new configuration. One of the few rational parts of Asami’s mind still functioning thinks that the clown merely raised her eyebrows, but all the other parts of Asami’s mind are too busy crawling down into the shelter of her subconscious to verify that hypothesis.
In her surprisingly pleasant voice, the clown says, “So this is just a guess, and I promise I won’t be offended, but do you maybe have a...thing about clowns?”
Asami realises that she’s clutching the files she’s carrying close to her chest, crushing them. “No, no! Nothing like that! Why would you think...? No, I just...uh…”
The clown shuffles her feet. “Look, I like to think I brighten days, but, uh, I know some people don’t like...and you’re a doctor! Saving actual lives! So you should take the elevator, because your needs are way more important than mine! I’ll get out, and you can--”
The clown starts to shuffle towards Asami, and that’s enough to jumpstart Asami’s motor skills. Asami backs away from the elevator, waving a hand. “No, it’s fine! Really! Besides, I just remembered that someone on a completely different floor than this elevator goes to is paging me right now, so I should really go use one of the elevators that goes to all the floors so that I can--”
Mercifully, the clown stops trying to come after Asami and the elevator door closes before Asami has to hear the end of the sentence she was babbling. The last thing Asami sees of the clown before the elevator separates them, though, is the one thing that the makeup and the costume couldn’t disguise: her eyes. She has wide blue eyes, and they were full of human concern instead of the inhuman malevolence the clowns of Asami’s nightmares typically contain.
Asami slumps in the corridor, taking a minute to breathe and try to shake off the strange alloy of relief and guilt she’s feeling. When she’s composed again, she heads for the stairs, deciding to avoid the elevators for the rest of the day.
Once Asami’s mind begins to function again, it isn’t exactly difficult to work out what happened. The clown is here to visit the children’s ward, not to finish the work her colleague started twenty years ago. The rational parts of Asami’s brain now outnumbering the panicked ones, Asami is able to remind herself that the clown at her sixth birthday party didn’t mean to almost kill her.
Probably. Maybe...
Asami tries to push the clown encounter out of her mind and focus on her work, but the problem with that is that Asami is a paediatrician. Avoiding the children’s ward all day is going to be slightly impossible. And there is no way that Asami is going to explain to Kya that she needs to leave early today because she’s scared that a clown might get her. Besides, there’s only so long the clown is going to be allowed to stalk the hospital. Asami just needs to wait things out.
The next hour proves to be simultaneously one of the most stressful and stupid of Asami’s life. She spends it sneaking around her own ward, listening for the sounds of laughter--or screams--that might warn her of the presence of the clown. Whenever Asami does hear children laughing, she finds any excuse she can to be anywhere else for a while.
Somehow, Asami gets through the hour without running into the clown again. She makes a point of hiding in an empty exam room for ten minutes, trying to complete paperwork in spite of her shaking hands, to ensure that she won’t run into the clown when it…she leaves the ward.
When Asami thinks it might be safe, she goes to the nurses station. “Hey, Opal.”
“Hey, Doc!” Opal beams at her from behind the counter. She’s a couple of years younger than Asami, and Asami’s friend and favourite member of staff on the ward. Opal is kind, funny, caring and sweet, but she also has deep reserves of stubbornness and anger she’s been known to tap into on behalf of her patients. Most of the doctors in the hospital like her, and the ones that don’t are too scared of her to cross her. There’s no sign of Opal’s more formidable side now, though, as she hops to her feet and leans over the counter, grinning even wider. “Did you see the clown? I can’t believe we have a clown now! Isn’t it amazing?”
Asami blinks. “She isn’t finished?”
“Oh, for the day, yeah! She had to go back to the circus. You just missed her.”
“Circus? There’s a circus?” The circus...also known, in Asami’s mind, as the Lair of Clowns, or The Pit Where All Joy Dies.
Opal bounces on the spot. “Yeah there is! Well, I say circus, but did you know she’s from Circus of the Moon? They’re amazing! They did a command performance for the Fire Lord last month! Tickets are almost impossible to get for their Republic City shows, but one of their stars is going be performing right here every week! How lucky are the kids? How lucky are we?”
Asami’s stomach twists into a knot and it feels like her heart stops working for a few beats. “So...so lucky,” she croaks. Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her white coat, Asami clears her throat. “So she’ll be here every week? At the same time? Every week? For...weeks? Every week?”
“Yeah! They’re in town for the next couple of months, and she said she’d try to come in while she’s here, anyway. I hope she does. She’s great with the kids.”
“I see.” Asami clenches her fists. “That’s...good. That’s really...good.”
And it is. If the clown has Opal’s seal of approval, then Asami knows that having her on the ward will help the children. So even if the next couple of months are going to be...challenging, Asami is determined to rise to the challenge. It’s the needs of the children that matter the most, after all. Asami can handle this. She just needs to work out a plan.
Opal tilts her head, her smile becoming sly. “You won’t want to miss her next time, Asami. She’s really funny. And sweet. And you know, when we were chatting, she was very keen to learn about--you okay?”
Startled out of her thoughts, Asami flinches. She offers Opal a rueful smile. “Sorry, I was thinking about something else. I, uh, actually need to go, but we’ll catch up soon!”
“Oh! Uh, okay! See ya, Doc!”
Asami turns and briskly walks away, turning over her plan in her mind. If having this clown here benefits the children, then Asami is going to act like the adult she is and deal with the situation in a rational, logical manner.
Kya puffs her cheeks and blows out a breath. “Sorry, Asami, but I need you in that slot. You know we’re shorthanded. I just don’t have anyone who can swap those shifts with you.”
Asami can’t quite stifle a groan. “Come on, Kya! It’s just a few weekends! I’ll cover any other shift going!”
“Normally I’d say yes, especially if it means you’re developing some kind of social life. When is the last time you did something just for fun?”
“Kya!” Asami fights off a blush. “I do fun things all the time!”
Kya raises an eyebrow. “Reading medical journals doesn’t count as fun just because you have a glass of wine while you’re doing it.”
“That’s not...that’s not all I do for fun.” Asami fights the urge to sink into her seat. Before Kya can ask her what else Asami does, she blurts,“What about just...if I’m not on the ward? For an hour or so? One day a week? The, uh, same day. Each week.”
Kya opens her mouth, pauses, and closes it again. She stares at Asami, who flushes and looks away. “You definitely haven’t developed a social life, then. Which means you don’t have an excuse not to come out for drinks in a couple of weeks!” Asami blinks, but before she can say anything, Kya leans across her desk and says, “Now that drinks are settled, what is this curiously specific request about, Asami?”
“Nothing!”
“Ooooh, I see. It’s actually nothing! Uh huh.” Kya rolls her eyes. “You’re a worse liar than my wife is, Asami.”
“Lin is the Chief of Police. I’d...have thought she’d be an excellent liar.”
“You’ve clearly never played strip poker with her.” Asami gapes at Kya, who grins and winks at her. “And you probably shouldn’t, with that bad of a poker face. Unless you’re an exhibitionist.”
Asami quickly stands up and makes for the door of Kya’s office. “Well, thanks for trying! And for making it impossible for me to ever look Chief Beifong in the eye--or anywhere!--ever again. I’ll just--”
“Asami.”
Asami sighs and stops, her hand on the door handle. “Yes?”
Kya’s voice is softer when she asks, “What’s really going on?”
Asami hesitates, then shakes her head. “Nothing. I...I’m fine. It’ll be fine!”
Kya sighs. “Okay. If that’s how you...sorry I couldn’t help you this time. But if there’s ever anything else...”
“Thanks, Kya.” Asami smiles and makes a point of standing up straight. “It’s not a big deal, really. Sorry I bothered you.”
“It’s no bother. My door is always open to you, Asami. Just make sure you close it behind you! There are lots of other people I don’t want in here.”
Asami laughs softly. “Thanks, Kya. And yes! I’ll go for drinks.”
“Excellent!” Kya grins. “Feel free to bring a...friend!”
Asami winces. Kya knows all of Asami’s friends, because they work at the hospital. And given that Asami really doesn’t have a social life outside of the hospital, significant pause ‘friends’ are nowhere on the horizon. Asami makes a non-committal noise and leaves Kya’s office, carefully closing the door behind her. In the corridor, she groans and whispers, “Now what do I do?”
A week later, when clown o’clock happens, Asami has used her powers of adulthood to arrange things so that she can hide in the break room doing paperwork. Asami is quite proud of how well she’s coping with the problem in a mature and reasonable way, until her pager alerts her that she’s needed in exam room three and her heart rate immediately spikes. Asami allows herself three seconds of dread before she locks everything else away and puts her doctor face on.
No clowns are lying in wait in exam room three, only a middle-aged woman and her young son. The boy is sitting up on the examination table. His shoulders are hunched and he’s worrying his lower lip. He is clutching his right arm and his eyes are like rain clouds: full of liquid and threatening to pour it out should the atmosphere shift in the wrong way.
Asami smiles at the mother, but she keeps her focus mostly on the boy. “Hi, there,” she says softly. “I’m Doctor Sato. You can call me Asami. What’s your name?”
He stares up at her for a second, then looks to his mother. She steps forward, placing a soothing hand on his back. “I’m Pema,” she says, offering Asami a tired smile. “It’s okay, you can tell the nice lady your name.”
The boy looks at Asami again. Hesitantly he says, “Rohan.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Rohan.” Asami leans down to his eye level. “I know it isn’t very nice for you, being here, but I promise we’ll have you patched up and back home as quickly as we can. Sound good?”
Rohan nods slowly. “Okay...”
“Can I ask what happened to your arm?”
Rohan huffs out a ragged breath. “I was playing with my brother. I fell. It...it hurts.”
Pema runs her hand up and down Rohan’s back. “Rohan’s brother was trying to see how high he could push Rohan on the swings in the park while mommy was distracted.”
Asami nods. She smiles at Rohan. “Rohan, can I see your arm? The sooner we figure out why it hurts, the sooner we can start making it better.” Rohan seems to find the logic compelling. He lets Asami examine his arm, wincing a little when she presses down on the swollen flesh of his forearm. “The good news is, nothing’s broken. I think you’ve bruised the bone, but we’ll do an X-ray to rule out anything worse.”
Rohan’s eyes widen. “What’s th-that?”
“It sounds scary, huh?” Asami smiles at him. “Rohan, a lot of things seem scary when we don’t know what they are, but they really aren’t scary at all when we learn about them. So I’m going to explain it to you, and if you have any questions you want to ask, you can. Deal?”
He slowly nods.
“An X-ray machine is like a camera. A very special camera. We’ll take a picture of your arm with it, and you know what that picture will show us?” Rohan shakes his head. His eyes are still wide, but he’s no longer chewing his lip. “The picture will show us your bones. Cool, right?”
“That...does sound pretty cool.” Rohan’s brow furrows. “Will I get to see?”
“Absolutely! We’ll meet up back here when the X-ray’s done and I’ll show you what I find and tell you how to take care of your arm so it gets better. Okay?”
Rohan nods decisively. “Yeah! I wanna do the X-ray! I wanna see my bones!”
Pema chuckles. “Well, someone’s perked up!” Over Rohan’s head she mouths a ‘thank you’ to Asami, who smiles before she turns to her computer and sets up the X-ray. Asami keeps busy with paperwork until the results come back, and she meets up with Pema and Rohan again. Asami is able to assure Pema that there is neither a break nor a fracture while Rohan gapes at the screen.
“Apply ice and keep the arm elevated to reduce the swelling. It’ll take a month or so to heal fully, and Rohan will have to be careful with it. No wrestling with older brothers for a while.”
Pema nods. “I will be having words with Meelo on that subject, rest assured.” In a lower voice she adds, “Thank you again. You’ve been very good with him.”
“Oh! My pleasure. But, really, it comes with the job.”
Pema shakes her head. “I’ve met enough doctors to know that simply isn’t true. If it isn’t rude...do you have any children of your own?”
Asami snorts, then blushes. “Ah, no! I mean, I haven’t had time to even think about dating in…” Years. “A while. My girlfriend in med school talked about adopting when we were older but I’m not really...sure why I’m telling you any of this?”
Pema smiles. “I have a kind face. You’d be amazed at what people who aren’t my kids tell me. But I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, sorry!”
“It’s fine! Ah...” Asami swallows and takes a second to recover her composure. “So! Do you need an ice pack, or...?”
“Oh, no!” Pema laughs, touching her hand to Rohan’s head to pull his attention from the screen. “I have access to plenty!” In response to Asami’s raised eyebrows, Pema adds, “We’re with the circus. We have a well stocked first aid kit. Ice packs won’t be a problem.”
Rohan blinks, peering up at his mother. “Did you say ice cream?”
Asami looks at Pema, sees the hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth, and says, “Definitely ice cream. That’s going to be an important part of your recovery. Doctor’s orders.”
Pema winks at Asami. “Oh, dear! I suppose we’ll simply have to buy some now!”
“Well, sounds like you have things to take care of! I’d better let you--” Asami opens the curtain to let Pema and Rohan out, only to freeze when she spots the clown in the corridor, roaming the ward sweeping her painted grin around like a spotlight beam. “No, no, no!”
The clown spots Asami and hesitates, until Pema and Rohan step out of the examination room. That gets her moving in their direction. “Whoah, Pema? Rohan?” She kneels in front of him. “What happened, buddy?”
Rohan grins sunnily up at the thing of nightmares. “Meelo pushed me too hard and I fell but then Asami showed me my bones and now I’m getting ice cream!”
“Oh!” The clown glances at Asami, starts to smile, then quickly looks away. “Meelo is such a butt. Everybody tells me Asami is a pretty great doctor, though. I bet she took good care of you.”
“She totally did!”
“Ha! Well, then the only question left is: what flavour ice cream are we talking here? Don’t settle for vanilla, buddy. We’ve got to think waaay bigger!”
As Rohan talks animatedly to the clown, Asami finds herself backing into the examination room, her eyes fixed on the clown in case it decides to move aggressively or make a joke at her. And why did the clown have to mention vanilla? Could she know…? Asami tries to ignore the tightness in her throat and to make her hands work so that she can close the curtain of the exam room. It’s a flimsy defence at best, but it’s better than nothing...
“Are you alright?” Pema gently touches her arm, making Asami jump.
“Uh, sorry!” Asami blurts. “I should really go do medicine...things. In private. Right now!”
Pema gives her an odd look. Her grip tightens on the sleeve of Asami’s coat, curbing Asami’s impulse to flee. “I’m retired, but back when our show was setting up in fields rather than selling out theatres, do you know what I did?”
Asami blinks. She shakes her head.
“I was a fortune teller. Now, I’m sure that you don’t believe in nonsense like that. And I’m not going to try to convince you that I have powers, don’t worry. But I did just get a sudden flash of premonition, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt one this strong. Would you like me to tell you what it was?”
Asami shakes her head again, but she can feel her panic receding. While that leaves plenty of room for embarrassment to take over, Asami is able to muster a polite smile. “Am I going to meet someone tall, dark and handsome?”
“Mmm, no. No, I believe you’re soon going to meet someone of average height, who is a sweet goof and who somehow has no clue exactly how beautiful or charming she is. You’re going to feel a little scared at the idea of getting to know her at first, but…” Pema smiles, but while the corners of her eyes crinkle in a kindly manner, there is a glint of mischief in the eyes themselves. “Once you get to know her even a little, you won’t be scared at all anymore.”
Asami frowns. “That certainly sounds...odd, but I don’t--”
“Yes, well. That’s my premonition.” Pema pats Asami’s arm. “If you should ever end up at the theatre, do ask for me and let me know how I did!”
With that, Pema walks away, sweeping up Rohan and even the clown in her smiling wake. Asami is left feeling deeply confused. She suspects, though, that Pema simply sensed Asami’s discomfort and that the ‘premonition’ was nothing more than nonsense Pema used to distract Asami from her fear. Asami feels both grateful and ashamed that she so obviously lost her cool. At least the hour of the clown is almost over. Asami hides in the examination room for ten minutes, to be safe, and thinks about what she can do in the next week to ready herself to face her tormentor.
By the end of her shift that day, Asami is thinking about nothing other than going home for the evening, showering, making dinner, then curling up with a good medical journal and a glass of wine. She passes the nurses station, simply waving at Opal because she’s busy talking to someone.
Before Asami can leave, though, Opal calls after her. “Hey, Doc!” Opal smirks when Asami turns back. “There’s someone waiting for you!”
Asami blinks at Opal, then blinks at the strange woman who faces her with a crooked smile. “Can I help you? Are you a relative, or…?”
The woman chuckles. “No, nothing like that! I’m Korra. I’m, uh, well...I’m the clown.”
Korra has traded her her loose clothes and huge coat for a pair of black skinny jeans and a faded blue t-shirt bearing a Circus of the Moon logo. Under the horrible wig, Korra has been concealing shoulder length, chestnut brown hair. Without the makeup and the false nose, Asami can see that Korra has the brown skin of the Water Tribe, that she is in her late twenties, and that her features are not nightmarish at all, but...nice. Better than nice, really.
Her eyes are the same, though: wide and warm and blue and kind.
Asami’s stomach twists, though it doesn’t seem to be entirely down to terror this time. She smiles, hoping it looks genuine. “Oh! Hello. Again. Um...how are you?”
Korra’s smile widens. In the context of her very nice face, her teeth are neat, white, even, and not at all threatening. “I’m good, thanks! I just finished working out a new routine, which is a wire act, so it was a workout. And that means I feel great, because basically I’m swimming in endorphins!” Korra’s grin slips slightly. “Which...you did not ask about, was maybe weird to say, and you probably didn’t want to know. Uh...”
She blushes, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. A part of Asami’s mind that has been quiet for several years when presented with a number of men and women tries to force Asami’s eyes to watch the impressive muscles in Korra’s arm shift under her smooth skin. It takes all the other parts of her mind and a great deal of effort to stay focused on Korra’s face.
“I don’t mind. I mean…is this about Rohan? Is he okay?”
“Huh? Oh! No, yeah, he’s fine. This isn’t about him. It’s about you. Well, me and you, I guess.” Korra’s cheeks become redder still. “N-not, uh, in a...um, I mean, I wanted to talk to you about us! No, wait--”
“Korra…” Asami becomes aware of Opal grinning beside her, her gaze flitting back and forth between Asami and Korra’s faces. “I’m actually finished for the day, so we could talk on the way out?”
Opal mutters, “Aww, it was just getting good!”
“Goodbye, Opal.” Asami shoots her a pointed look before walking towards the elevators. Korra says goodbye to Opal and hurries after Asami, who decides to skip the elevator and go for the stairs. The memory of their first encounter is too fresh in Asami’s mind. As stupid as it is, Asami can’t help the fear that curls its fingers loosely around her lungs at the memory of it. Asami tries to keep any hint of it out of her voice when she asks, “So, how can I help you?”
Korra chuckles. “I was going to ask you the same thing. I know you’ve been avoiding me because you have a thing about clowns, so I was hoping--”
“I do not have a thing about clowns,” Asami says icily. She winces and tries to soften her tone. “I just...am very busy when you’re here and don’t have time to take in a show. I hear the kids like you, though, which is the part that matters.”
“Oh, uh, thanks? And that’s good, but--”
“You’re welcome.” Asami pushes open the door at the bottom of the stairs. She holds it open for Korra, still avoiding looking at the other woman’s face. “Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but I do need to get going. It was nice talking to you.”
Asami quickens her pace, making for the exit.
Korra jogs after her. “So, uh, real quick! This thing where you have a thing about clowns, could we--”
Asami makes it out into the parking lot and turns to face Korra. “For the last time, I do not have--”
“I’ll quit,” Korra blurts. “I’m clearly making you uncomfortable, and that’s not okay, and I don’t want that. So I’ll quit. I can probably find someone else to come entertain the kids. I just thought that meeting me without the makeup and stuff might help, but I’m making things worse. I’m sorry. Bye.”
She turns and quickly strides away, her shoulders hunched, her head down. Asami’s fear is washed away in a flood of shame. “What am I doing?”
Asami calls out, “Korra! Wait!” When Korra pauses, Asami jogs over to her. “I’m the one who should apologise. I was being rude. Your visit ended hours ago, and you don’t have a bag, so...you took even more time out of your day just to come and talk to me, didn’t you?”
“Yeah…” Korra smiles sheepishly. “Maybe not my brightest idea, but I kinda like dealing with problems as soon as I can.” She blushes. “Not that you are a problem! At all! I just meant--”
“I...know what you mean. And please don’t think that you have to stop, uh, clowning around the hospital on my account. Even if...” Asami sucks in a breath and slowly sighs it out. “So, the truth is...I, ah, I maybe do have a bit of a thing about clowns. Just a tiny bit!”
Korra’s shoulders ease down. “Yeah. Well, with all the babbling and the flop sweat, I did kinda get that impression when we met? Just a tiny bit.”
“Flop sweat?” Asami opens her mouth, ready to explain exactly how not sweaty she was when first faced with Korra the Clown, when she sees the wide smile on Korra’s face. “Are you...making fun of me?”
Korra’s smile becomes a grin. “Just a tiny bit.”
Asami snorts out a laugh, becoming aware of how tense she was only when her muscles begin to relax. “I walked into that one, huh?”
“Just a--”
“Hey!” Asami shakes her head, but she finds a smile lingering on her lips. “I thought you wanted to help me! Making fun of me isn’t helping!”
“Fair point. For what it’s worth, I didn’t see any flop sweat and the babbling was a completely understandable response in the circumstances. It was kind of endearing, actually!” Asami raises her eyebrows. Korra’s cheeks redden and she hastily adds, “I mean, uh, what would you like me to do that would help you, Doctor Sato?”
Asami hesitates. Korra watches her patiently, her wide blue eyes full of warmth. Asami feels a flutter in her stomach that has nothing to do with fear or guilt. “First, please call me Asami.”
“You got it, Asami!”
“Second...would you maybe like to get some dinner and talk?”
Korra’s sudden grin is dazzling. “I’d love to!”