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“Hey Axel, how do you kiss?”
“What? You’re too young to be asking those kinds of questions,” Lea shoves a pillow onto Roxas’s head and laughs. Roxas pushes back, his peals of laughter sending tingles up Lea’s spine. He’d never had siblings or given any thought to having kids, really. But Lea has grown used to the little family he’s built and somehow the question doesn’t catch him by surprise.
Only a few weeks had passed since Xehanort had been put to rest. Lea had taken up residency in Twilight Town, thanks to Scrooge McDuck’s Bistro giving him a job, and his willingness to let Lea rent an apartment above the restaurant. Lea lets the kids come and go freely. Usually Roxas comes with Xion, but Olette had been asked out on her first date, and Xion was spending the day with her and Namine to gush over it after the fact. It surprised Lea a little to see Roxas let Xion out of his sight. He’d been so protective of her the first few days, as if she’d disappear any second he turned his eyes away from her. It was nice seeing them now, so sure of their humanity and so eager to embrace the world.
“I’m serious, Axel, I want to know!” Roxas demands once he has finally wrestled the pillow away from Lea.
The two are lounging on Lea’s cheap thrifted couch, watching some absurd horror movie where the villain looks like a sock puppet. It’s a way to kill time, while their better halves are away.
“Roxas, you don’t just tell someone how to kiss. It sort of just happens. Maybe you should have gone with Xion. Olette could have given you a better idea than I could,” Lea answers.
“Nah, she was insistent on ‘ girls only ’. Xion wasn’t allowed to tell me who Olette’s date even is ,” Roxas huffs, his grip tight on the pillow in is lap.
Lea’s muffled laughter draws a glare from Roxas. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to be this young and this naive to romance and heartache.
Another character dies on-screen to the sock puppet and Roxas rolls his eyes.
“You’ve been kissed before haven’t you, though?” Roxas asks. There’s a dangerous innocence in his voice, as if he’s trying to come off like he doesn’t want to pry. Lea doesn’t buy it.
“I don’t kiss and tell, Roxas.”
Roxas drops the act and Lea gives him a smug grin. The reality is it’s been so long since he’s kissed anyone he almost can't remember what it’s like. The desire is there, sure, but the act never comes to fruition. It had become worse since Isa moved in with him. But that fact is something he had been hesitant to admit to himself, so telling Roxas is out of the question. Emotional maturity first, messy and complicated romantic feelings later. He had to set the example, right? A second chance at humanity has really done wonders for his self-awareness. Lea almost feels proud of himself.
Roxas is pouting at the TV and Lea can tell he isn’t really invested in the movie anymore. Guilt strikes his heart like a needle, and Lea wants to curse himself for giving in. Throwing Roxas a bone won’t hurt, he supposes. He was 15 and in love once, too.
“When I was-- a little older than you are now, I guess, if you had been born like the average person,” Lea starts, and Roxas looks at him warily out of the corner of his eyes, “I had a best friend I couldn’t ever picture myself without. Kind of like you and Xion,” Lea pauses, collecting himself.
We grew up together and I thought nothing would ever change. It would always be the two of us, confronting whatever the world had to offer, or oppose us with. But then things did change...not that it was bad. Or good. Just different. But it was lonely, because I thought it was just me, and I didn’t want things to change so much that we’d stop being friends. Because that can happen,” Lea glances over at Roxas, and Roxas is looking at him in rapt attention.
“I still don’t know if it was a good or bad thing, but one day I kissed them.” Lea stops, and the only sound in the room is the quiet rustling of leaves as the survivors in the movie step through the forest.
“Do you remember when we went to Neverland, and Tink gave us the ability to fly?” Lea asks abruptly. Roxas nods, confusion pulling his brows low together.
“That’s what it’s like to kiss someone.”
Roxas raises an eyebrow and half laughs, “Kind of dizzying and scary, but also exciting like you never want to land back down?”
Lea smiles.
“That’s exactly what it’s like,” he says. He can see Roxas taking it in, maybe trying to pinpoint the limited experiences he’s had with ones that feel about the same. Lea doesn’t have to remember flying in Neverland to recall the butterflies from that first kiss. He’d been terrified. He’d been with Isa, in the shadows of Radiant Garden’s pale, purple sunset. He remembered neither of them expecting it to happen. He remembered his surprise, when Isa pulled away for half a second, face flushed and eyes wide, only to come back in for another kiss, deeper this time, his hands reaching up for Lea’s hair. Things never really were the same, after that.
The movie crawls to an unsatisfying end, and Roxas checks the watch on his left wrist. “What time does Sai-- I mean Isa come home?” Isa had been delicate since his reformation; he’d been taking longer to adjust to having a heart again than the rest. It wasn’t that he and Roxas didn’t get along, but Lea always found it better to plan their time together in advanced, than let Isa come home to find the kids hanging out like they lived in the place. Baby steps.
“In about an hour, I think,” Lea answers after checking the time on his gummiphone.
“I should probably get going,” Roxas gets up from the couch and and turns to look for his skateboard, “next time pick a better movie, okay?”
Lea smirks, “That won’t be hard. Next time pick better questions to ask, alright?”
Roxas flushes a little, but he turns to Lea with his skateboard under his arm, “No, I’m glad I asked.” Roxas pauses. Lea can see the conflict flickering behind his eyes and he’s about to ask what’s wrong when Roxas says, “You should probably tell him how you feel, though.”
Lea is left open-mouthed as Roxas turns toward the door and waves a quick goodbye, “I’ll tell Xion you said hi!” his voice trails off as he heads down the stairs toward the Bistro’s exit. The movie plays through its ending credits and Lea is left in the silence of his apartment.
Emotional maturity first, he reminds himself. Messy and complicated romantic feelings later...no matter what a scruffy fifteen year old with a full heart less than five years old tells him.