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It had been rough, for a while.
You weren’t good enough for anyone.
Day after bad day, and… you felt alone.
Oh, the other Egos were there.
It was all rushed mornings and lonely evenings spent apart.
No movie nights, no meals cooked and shared together.
You don't know you're missing something until you stop and feel it.
You felt their loss.
None of the egos were gone, but it felt like it.
+
One evening-
It hits you. Catches you and tightens its grip.
You feel abandoned and desperately lost.
Why?
Chase, JJ, Schneep, Marvin, Jackie.
Only a text away.
…Right?
…
…would they still come if you called?
Your throat burns with tears and tiredness.
You don't know anything right now.
They're just waiting for you to screw up. Prove how useless you are.
Once they see, they'll drop you like trash.
That's all you are in the end- no matter how hard you try.
Worthless.
It feels like something inside you is tearing.
You can't stay standing anymore. You fall, the impact with the carpet stinging your knees.
You shuffle, uncaring of said sting- make it to the wall, and curl up with your back to it.
You stop holding back your tears.
No one cares.
You don't know how long you stay there, swallowed whole by your own hurt.
You feel the warmth of hands on your shoulders.
You know it can only be JJ, because the others would have been very vocal if they caught you like this, and JJ's "Speechslides" only worked if you both focused.
You look up.
"Y/N? What's wrong?"
"M'fine, Jays…"
"No, you are not. Not if you're crying like that."
"No - really, I-I’m fine-e"
You choke from trying to stop. It's not working, at all.
"Why does he care? He shouldn't."
"Jameson. Just. Just. Go. I'll- I'll get over it."
What happens next surprises you.
Jameson drops down beside you and pulls you into his arms.
It's not that he dislikes affection, it's that he's still not used to it being given freely.
He's gotten used to the other Egos and your own hugs and touches, but he rarely initiates.
You squirm for a bit then just let it happen, sinking into his embrace.
"Why? Why stay?" You sob, brain hissing poison, heart unsure of anything.
A hand cradles the back of your head, fingers slide into your hair gently.
"My heart hurts for you. I’m afraid for you. I don’t want to let you go when you’re still so sad."
Those words are like pulling on the weak spot of your tower of emotions, it all falls apart.
You sink your head to Jameson's chest and bawl.
You feel him rock the two of you, the only thing he can think to do to comfort you without words.
Exhaustion drops over you.
Lights out.
+
Light again. Bright.
It bothers you, even with closed lids.
You stir, shifting in discomfort. An unhappy sound leaves your throat.
Fingers slide through your hair.
Voices.
"Dude, turn that off! Y/N's sleeping, she needs it, no bright lights!"
Chase.
"Shit, sorry, hang on!'
Marvin.
"the tableside shouldn't be harsh if we need light-"
Henrik.
You roll over, facing the back of the couch.
"Y/N just solved things. Sorry, Kitten."
You almost want to apologize. Marvin didn't do anything- you're the problem.
…To say that would bring too much trouble.
They are here, trying. Even though it must be a pain in the ass, to drop everything for you.
Warm weight drops on you. An arm, maybe?
JJ.
Who must have picked you up, and carried you to the couch in the media room.
Who must have texted the others, something you'd made sure he could do, in case of emergency.
You aren’t an emergency.
"Too late, guys."
You move again, this time moving so your heads is in JJ's lap.
You worry for a second that you're being annoying.
You look up at JJ, and whisper at him-
"Okay, Jays?"
That sunshine smile speaks volumes. He's just fine.
Chase bounces onto the couch and throws his legs over yours.
"So, if you're up, Movies?"
"Sure, Tigger." you reply in a teasing tone.
It's one of Chase's good days. He's bouncy.
He gives you a little boy grin in return.
"We started JJ's catch up on the MCU, where were we.."
"…Oh, yeah, Thor."
"Yes!" you exclaim fiercely, delight written all over you.
"So, Thor and the first Cap tonight, we'll start the next time with Avengers?" Marvin chimes in.
"Good plan."
Midway through Thor, your stomach grumbles.
You decide to sweet talk Marvin. Chase always burns popcorn, and you're comfy.
"Fine…"
Chase lets out a huff.
"Wouldn't do that if any of us were comfy…"
"Your puppy eyes do nothing. KitKat's Bambi eyes are lethal."
That's when you try to move.
Marvin pats you.
"Nope, stay"
He disappears and you smell not only popcorn but melted butter.
Soon there was a huge bowl of fluffy snow white kernels set on the coffee table.
"Thaank you!" You sang, grabbing a handful
The movies passed, and you ended up snuggled into the warmth of the Egos surrounding you
++++++
You are awakened by a gentle hand going through your hair.
"Hmph? J- Jackie?"
"...how'd you know?"
"You're always so careful with me."
"You want to go to your bed?"
At your sleepy nod, he pulls you into his arms.
Blankets keep you toasty warm as Jackie walks the halls to your room.
You're safe, been reminded you're loved.
All is well.