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He couldn’t tell him and even if he wanted to, it was too late.
With all the things he had done in the past, all the hurt and betrayal he made the other go through, he didn’t deserve to have anything to do with him.
Let alone have feelings for a certain brunette that happened to be the Savior of Worlds. Because of this, the universe always found a way to tear them apart. Be it with Sora being the one to chase after him to save him from his stupidity of falling into darkness, or Riku himself chasing after Sora to protect him from being taken by the darkness.
He had acted out of jealousy when they were younger, setting the course for the worlds to fall and for Xehanort to be able to enact his plans. He couldn’t bear to see the same brunette fall deeper for her. So much for the promise of protecting Sora if he caused nothing but misery and hurt during that entire time, that when it came down to closing the door to darkness, he had willingly closed the doors between them, hoping that Sora would move on and be happy with Kairi. That was never the case as he just had to have a heart of gold. Riku just had to fall for someone as stubborn and determined as Sora was when it came to saving people.
He didn’t know it then just how far he had fallen for the brunette, but over the years and after being alone for so long with time to think about what had happened then, it was fairly obvious. It wasn’t simply feelings of friendship, but rather something deeper. However, seeing how happy Sora was with her, he was perfectly fine watching him from afar. He was fine with being the shadow protecting the light that was Sora. When Sora didn’t wake during their Mark of Mastery exam, it had seemed as if time had ended. What was the point of existing if Sora wasn’t there? In what universe was that even okay? He didn’t need to think twice about diving into Sora’s heart. If it meant that Sora could live and be free from experiencing darkness that was Xehanort, he would gladly give up his own life for that. He didn’t agree with Yen Sid’s decision to make him a Keyblade Master and not Sora and while Sora was better suited for the title, a selfish part of him was glad that Sora was not deemed the title as it meant he would have to go through the Realm of Darkness in search of the other missing Guardians. That same part was glad that because of the lack of the title, Sora had to stay in the Realm of Light to obtain the power of waking again. However, even then, it seemed the universe was punishing him for his selfish thoughts as Sora had still managed to fight against all odds, take on the role as hero by saving him in the Realm of Darkness and prove just how powerful he could be again should his friends be the ones at harm. He managed to overpower Aqua and bring her back to the Realm of Light and save Ventus. He had managed to save the worlds even with the anguish he felt over losing Kairi. Reckless as he was, he didn’t wait a second longer to save the girl that he had been pining for years. All Riku could do then was believe that Sora would make it back safely, after all, once his mind was made up, there was very little to be said to change his mind.
It didn’t stop the hurting though.
Kairi had come back one day, without Sora in tow. Something had to have gone wrong. He couldn’t face her. He was too upset; too hurt and angry that the universe had to take Sora away once more. His worst fear had become reality. The others were worried about him, taking the opportunity at least once a day to go through the pretenses of hanging out with him, when in reality, they were worried. They were worried that he would fall to darkness. No one said it out loud, but the details were obvious. As someone who had already defected to darkness before, what was stopping him from defecting again to darkness? Back then, he was less of a threat as he had been a mere child with little training aside from the sparring between friends and what little training he received from Maleficent. Now he would be a threat as he had the trainings of a Keyblade Master. He didn’t need to look very far for their concern. He noticed the hushed whispers stop when he walked in a room and everyone pretending that they were talking about items that were inconsequential. Maybe it indeed was nothing, but he knew better and decided it would be better if he left the room rather than stay and deal with everyone showing pity on him. He hated feeling weak and without the optimistic light that was Sora, what was the point of even staying in the same room as others who looked to Sora for leadership? During these instances, Vanitas would glare at the others in the room and follow after him, with Floods trailing close behind.
“You know, moping around isn’t going to do anything. While believing in the magic of friendship or whatever bull crap you idiots are all about is going to save the idiot, you do have the power to save his sorry ass,” he said in one of these instances as Riku blinked and turned to the raven haired boy that had the similarities of the very same boy that held his heart. It was still strange to hear Vanitas swear so much in comparison to the vanilla language that Sora spoke.
“But there’s a risk Vanitas. As much as it would be beneficial to everyone here that Sora returned, we wouldn’t even know where to start looking. Ienzo and Ansem are hard at work looking for him and nothing has come up yet,” he replied as Vanitas groaned.
“Ugh, this is so stupid. Are you an idiot or something? Have you learned nothing during the Mark of Mastery?” he asked, as if the answer was so obvious. Did he miss something? “Besides, when the hell did you care about risk? You’re just as reckless as that irritating ball of sunshine.”
Riku sighed and ran his hand through his hair in irritation. Why the hell did they even agree to Vanitas coming back? They were perfectly fine with having his replica back as the younger did no wrong. There was nothing wrong with bringing Namine back because like the replica, she did nothing wrong either. But Vanitas? The very epitome of Ventus’ darkness? Why was he here? After all the trouble he’s brought to the group, he shouldn’t even be here. It was then he realized that he shouldn’t be thinking that way. Vanitas didn’t choose to be like this. Xehanort had done all this and the boy before him was going through community service and working through his issues with Yen Sid and Ansem’s assistance. He gave it some more thought before realizing that Vanitas was on to something, how could he have forgotten it.
“Dream Eaters,” he said as Vanitas clapped it out slowly.
“Congratulations! You leveled up from moron to idiot!” he exclaimed as Riku glared at him.
“That still doesn’t answer how I can get him back here. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I can’t really drop into his heart and wake him up seeing as he’s not here,” he retorted back as Vanitas rolled his eyes.
“Have you considered trying?” he asked as Riku blinked about to ask how he could possibly do that before coming up with a possible idea. He didn’t miss the annoying smirk as he rolled his eyes at the smug look on his face.
“Stop doing that, it feels weird seeing you smirk with Sora’s features,” he said as Vanitas rolled his eyes.
“I didn’t ask to look like this alright? Your lover boy just had to take Venty-Wenty in when we were separated to give me this,” he replied as Riku sighed, suddenly feeling warm. Of course he’s heard this story a million times, especially more so from Ventus in moments of cherishing the missing boy that had housed his heart for so long.
“Yeah, I’ve heard. Anyways, don’t tell the others what I’m planning on doing,” he said as he summoned Braveheart. “Besides, why do you care so much about Sora coming back? I mean, I appreciate your concern as it seems I’m the only one worrying about him, but it doesn’t make sense.”
The raven haired boy sighed and crossed his arms, looking anywhere else but him. Looking at him now, he did have so many similarities to the younger brunette that was MIA. Hell, he even managed to pout just as well as the younger. “Because I’m sick and tired of you being the brooding idiot. Call it lingering feelings from being housed in that oblivious idiot or whatever, but the only person that should be brooding here is the person that’s here against their will. Not only that, but I’m tired of all the Idiots of Light just moping around because one is missing….and it bites seeing her upset over this and kicking herself for not saving him either,” he replied as Riku smiled softly. Ah, so the epitome of darkness did have a soft spot after all.
“I didn’t know you fell hard for Kairi,” he teased as the he noticed the blush on his cheeks. How very much like Sora he was.
“Shut up and go save him already,” the raven haired boy said, glaring at him as Riku chuckled before opening up a portal.
“Take care of her while I’m gone. I’ll bring him back,” he said as he stepped through the portal.
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After fighting and going through many obstacles, he was finally back on Destiny Islands with Sora in tow.
“I can’t believe we’re back here,” the younger said, relishing the sight of the sunset before them as Riku smiled and ruffled the brunette’s hair, causing a yelp and pout to come from him, causing the elder of the two to laugh.
“Well, you better believe it because we are. Everything is finally over,” he said as the younger looked up and smiled before sitting down on the paopu tree. Riku leaned against the tree, admiring the sunset. And they were back indeed. After many trials, Sora was finally back in the Realm of Light and back where he belonged. While he could have texted Kairi on the Gummiphone that they were back to lessen her worries, he didn’t want to ruin the moment. As he knew that the universe would not allow them to be put together, he would savor the brief moments that he had Sora to himself. It was these moments that would be able to sate his loneliness in the future. It was moments like these that he could pretend that Sora felt the same way about him. He knew that tomorrow Sora and Kairi would be reunited again and he promised himself that he would be selfish this one time and protect the Savior of Worlds and the Princess of Heart tomorrow. After all, it was expected they would end up together. Not only was it expected, but as much as he hated to admit it, Sora and Kairi looked cute together. He was startled at the sudden disruption with the multiple notifications coming from his Gummiphone. He bit back a groan of frustration as he looked at his phone to see 20 voicemails and 50 text messages, a good handful coming from Kairi with Mickey coming at a close second and Aqua coming in third. So maybe he was gone longer than he thought he would have been and seeing as there was no warning to the others, he understood why he received so many notifications, but Sora didn’t need to know that the elder had been reckless in his attempt of rescuing him.
“Whoa, what’s going on with your phone Riku?” he heard the younger ask as he pocketed his phone once more.
“Ah, it’s nothing to worry about. I think it’s on the fritz from being back here after being gone for so long. You know, like with the delays that happened with your messages while I was in the Realm of Darkness searching for Master Aqua,” he lied, hating the fact that he was essentially lying to the face of the very person he didn’t want to lie to. But then again, what’s one more lie right? After all, the younger didn’t know his true feelings for him and if Riku could help it, he would never find out.
“Oh, I guess it makes sense. I mean the phone is a great tool, but I guess it can’t be all powerful to cross time and space,” he said as Riku smiled fondly at the simplicity that was Sora.
“Yeah,” he said before the comfort of silence came back. He had relaxed a bit more before feeling Sora rest his head against his shoulder, feeling his hair brush against his face, catching a whiff of the younger’s mango scented shampoo. It took him a moment to calm himself in hopes of the younger didn’t hear his heart beating faster.
“I’m glad that you’re my friend Riku. Even after all we’ve been through, I’m glad that it all worked out in the end. Not only that but, you kept your promise,” the younger said as Riku felt his heart stop at the mention of friends, but he knew that that’s how Sora would see him; just a friend. However, at the mention of promise, Riku blinked and looked at the younger. There was no way Sora still remembered the promise he made when they were younger right?
“What promise?” he asked, hoping to clarify what the other boy was his promise.
“Remember? The night of the meteor shower? You gave me the crown necklace, promising to protect me?” the younger said, reaching for his necklace. “You’ve protected me numerous times and I can’t thank you enough for it,” he said as Riku blushed slightly, embarrassed that he did still remember.
“Yeah, I just didn’t think you’d remember such a silly promise. Besides, I have to protect you seeing as you seem dead set on protecting everyone else but yourself. Kairi would be devastated if something happened to you seeing as you two shared the paopu fruit,” he said, as Sora blinked.
“What? Oh! You mean before the the battle with Xehanort? We didn’t actually share a paopu fruit…” he replied, trailing off as Riku felt his heart stop once more. What? But, he saw the exchange of paopu fruits and looked away to give them their privacy. He had been jealous then and was tempted to interrupt, but decided against it. After all, again it was as if they were simply meant to be. If they didn’t actually eat the paopu fruit, then, what happened? Sora was going to be the death of him, wasn’t he?
“Oh? Hm, well maybe it’s for the best that you didn’t share the fruit at that point in time. But now that you’re back and everything is right in the world, you can share the paopu fruit with her properly. I mean, that’s what you wanted to do since the beginning right?” he asked, hoping it didn’t come across as accusatory, but facts were facts. Sora wanted to share the paopu fruit with Kairi. The younger had feelings for the redhead, that much was obvious, and the redhead in turn had feelings for Sora.
“Nah, I think Kairi and I came to an agreement that it wouldn’t work between us. There was no hard feelings between her and I though,” he said as he sat up properly and looked at Riku with a smile on his face. To say Riku was surprised would be the understatement of the century. What made them change their minds about each other? Did that mean the universe had finally forgiven him and decided he could try confessing? Luck wasn’t always on his side though and he didn’t think he could handle being rejected by Sora. He couldn’t risk their friendship over something like this. Why was he now second guessing himself just because Sora was not attracted to Kairi? That still didn’t change the fact that Sora would still not be attracted to him of all people.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone. I mean, being the Savior of Worlds will definitely have its perks for you,” he said nonchalantly, trying to keep his own emotions in check. With how bubbly and good-natured Sora was, it wouldn’t be long before his line of admirers filed by his door in hopes of catching the boy’s heart. He heard a hum of acknowledgement come from Sora before feeling something being pressed against his cheek. He turned to look at Sora holding a paopu fruit, which was the something that had been pressing against his cheek.
“Actually, I was kinda hoping I wouldn’t have to, seeing as I sort of fell in love with my other best friend,” he confessed, his cheeks reddening at the confession as Riku’s composure broke. This was really happening wasn’t it? He wasn’t sleeping for this right? “The same best friend that’s been there since the beginning. The very same friend that watched over me during that year of sleeping. The same friend that went through lengths just to get to me. I...I may not know a lot about love, but if I’ve learned anything from my time in other worlds, it’s that….love makes you do stupid things for all the right reasons if it means you can save your special someone. Riku, I think you’ve pulled enough stupid stunts to qualify for that, unless I’m wrong and this was a mis…” he cut the younger off with a kiss before pulling away, smiling fondly at the brunette.
“Sora, I would save you a million times over if it meant you could come back home. Regardless of whether that’s what it means to be in love or not,” he replied as the younger smiled and wrapped his arms around his neck, playing with his hair.
“And I will always save you too. You may be a Keyblade Master, but I’ve had the key longer,” he answered as Riku rolled his eyes at that before pulling him close.
“You may have had it longer, but I still passed. Not only that but I think I’ll still be doing most of the protecting as your Dream Eater,” he teased, kissing his forehead as Sora hummed.
“I love you Riku,” he said as Riku felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of those four words. If this was a dream, nobody wake him up.
“I love you too Sora,” he replied before capturing the younger’s lips with his own once more as the sun fully set.
It looks like the universe had finally forgiven him after all.