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Hizashi had a tendency to babble on and on about things. It was just part of who he was as a person. Loud, funny, charismatic, all of these words made up part of who he is as a person. He knew that sometimes he needed to be quiet, but he didn't think that Aizawa minded. He never told Hizashi to be quiet or anything. Maybe he should've taken the non-verbal hints, but right now his anxiety was rather high, so he thought that if he kept talking, he could ignore it. Who knows. Maybe this would've happened now or it would've happened later. They were sitting on Aizawa's bed, chatting about the day and what had happened. Or, Hizashi was talking. Aizawa was trying to read his book. He didn't understand why they couldn't just sit in silence and let that be that. But Hizashi just would not. Shut. Up. Seriously, it was like the man just didn't have an off switch.
"-And I was like, dude, that's my burger! But he was acting all bratty like 'its the last one and I want it' and he tried to grab it off of my tray! So I push him and he tries to-" Then Hizashi couldn't speak.
"Do you ever shut up!?" Aizawa snapped, glaring at Hizashi with his bright red eyes as he looked up from his book, not seeing the wounded expression in his friend's face.
Suddenly Hizashi was three again, getting yelled at by his mom for crying too loud. He was five and being stuffed into his (soundproofed) bedroom with only his own voice for company. He was ten and his Dad was hurting him- choking him- trying to make him just shut the hell up. He couldn't breath- he couldn't breath-
Hizashi didn't even realize that Aizawa was saying anything, didn't realize that Aizawa wasn't his Dad, wasn't his Mom,, wasn't every single person who had ever hated him for something he had almost no control over. He started to hyperventilate, grabbing his throat. He felt hot, shameful tears filling his eyes as his voice just refused to work. His lips were moving but no sound came out. Panic filled every pore of his being, it poured out of him like blood from a wound.
"Hizashi! Are you- Hizashi- calm down its okay I didn't-" Aizawa gulped thickly, watching his normally untouchable friend become a mess- crying silently and trying to talk, trying to speak at all.
He let go of Hizashi's quirk and watched as he started speaking- trying to apologize, trying to ask for forgiveness.
"I'm sorry- I'm-" He kept sobbing, gripping his neck and covering his mouth.
"No, Hizashi no. Its my fault- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-" He watched Hizashi slowly, slowly, calm down. He handed his friend a bottle of water
Hizashi gulped down the water, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. They sat in silence for a few seconds, the words unsaid between them buffeting anything either could've said.
"Hizashi....what was that?" Aizawa asked, breaching the question quietly, almost fearfully. He hated seeing Hizashi like this- broken down and shamed...quiet.
"...When I was younger, my parents hated me. They hated everything about me. They hated how loud I was and how my quirk only made me even louder. They hated how no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't lower my voice. They soundproofed my bedroom and would lock me in there for hours at a time. Sometimes they...'forgot' to feed me. One day when I was ten I got mad and I was yelling. I think I did it to hurt them..hurt them as much as they hurt me. My dad grabbed me by the neck and...well..I was put into foster care as soon as I got out of the hospital..." He sniffed, rubbing his eye.
Aizawa felt like he was going to puke. "Hizashi- God- I didn't know. Hizashi I'm so sorry." He said, looking at his friend "I never meant to hurt you."
Hizashi waved his hand "Its my fault, I shouldn't have been-"
Aizawa grabbed his hand "No Hizashi- No- its my fault. I should've been nicer- I should've asked or tried to talk to you. I never should've done that to you. This is not your fault."
Hizashi looked up, blinking. "Aizawa-"
"It wasn't your fault, Hizashi. None of this was your fault." He didn't let go of Hizashi's hand. "None of this was ever your fault."
Hizashi didn't think that Aizawa was talking about just today, anymore. More tears burned in his emerald green eyes as he hugged his best friend, feeling a warm set of arms wrap tight around his body. Hizashi closed his eyes and started to quietly cry into his shoulder, sniffing weakly and sobbing. Aizawa threaded a hand through his golden hair. They held each other for a long time after that. Hizashi started to babble again, telling Aizawa anything he could think of.
"Hey, Hizashi?" Aizawa murmured.
"mm?" Hizashi hummed, looking up at his...looking up at Aizawa.
"Don't ever stop talking"