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On the morning after, Axel brings Roxas and Xion home to the cozy two-bedroom apartment he rents in Twilight Town.
On the morning after, Axel brings Roxas home .
“It’s not much,” he warns as he shepherds his friends through the front door.
“This is great,” Roxas declares in that way of his. Axel steals a glance downwards, looking at the way Roxas takes the place in: the battered green couch, the fireplace he lights on cold nights, the practically unused stove. Roxas examines each piece of what comes together to make the life Axel’s lived since he returned to himself.
“Where will we all sleep?” Xion asks, examining the room in her own way.
“Oh, I’ve got two bedrooms. I would’ve found a place with three, but… well… you were an unexpected surprise.” Both Xion and Axel chuckle; Axel missed the sound for so long. “I’ll take the couch,” he adds.
Roxas levels him with a look. “Axel, you’re nearly taller than the two of us combined! Your feet will dangle off the edge.” Axel reaches over to mess with Roxas’ hair. He gets a little shake in before Roxas dodges him, slapping his hand away. “Come on Axel, knock it off.”
“I’ll be fine on the couch tonight. I just want to make sure the two of you are comfortable. We can figure something else out later.”
“Oh, alright. But just for tonight,” Roxas says.
“We can alternate after that!” Xion adds. Roxas nods in agreement.
And Axel has to blink back tears. The three of them, together after so much time. There’d been a part of him that had worried that it would be strange to be together again. That somehow, Axel had built their friendship up in his head to be more than it was in reality. But he hadn’t needed to worry. Watching the two of them settle in, throwing off their shoes and raiding the cupboards for snacks, Axel realized that they were still friends . That nothing had changed. He’d thought that having his heart and body together made him whole, but he had been wrong. He needed his friends to put him together again in his entirety.
Roxas looks over his shoulder at Axel, holding a box of some box of something or another from the cabinet. He grins.
Axel smiles back.
— —
That night, as Axel tries to fall asleep with his feet dangling over the edge of his too-short couch, he regrets every choice he’s made in his entire life. He knows he only has to make it until morning, when he can go buy a bigger couch, or at least a futon. Or maybe he can convince someone to give him a new couch — he did just help save the universe, after all. That’s gotta count for a perk or two! He’ll have to call Sora and ask — he knows Riku won’t be any help with that question. The guy would never accept something nice.
He’s experimenting with flinging his legs over the side of the couch when he ears approaching footsteps. He sits up and sees Roxas, carrying his comforter over his shoulders, illuminated by the light that filters in through the window from the trolly station across the street.
“Roxas?” Axel asks, confused. “Why are you still awake?”
“No reason,” Roxas says, shuffling over to the edge of the couch and taking a precarious seat on the edge.
“Gotta be something. It’s not like you to miss out on a good night’s sleep.”
“Hey!” Roxas complains, which just makes Axel laugh, though he’s careful not to be too loud. He doesn’t want to wake up Xion.
“You should go to bed,” Axel says.
“Can I stay here? For just a few minutes?”
Axel smiles, pulling himself up so that Roxas can sit on the couch more comfortably. “Yeah, of course.”
“Cool,” Roxas says, settling in.
They sit for a long moment. Axel can feel Roxas’ gaze on him, but Axel tries looking elsewhere. He doesn’t want to be weird, well, weirder than it already is. If Roxas thinks this is weird. Axel doesn’t think this is weird. He really just feels uncontrollable joy.
“Why won’t you look at me?” Roxas asks; it’s not accusatory, just curious.
“I don’t want to be weird,” Axel admits.
“It’s not weird. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of looking at you now.”
“Really?” Axel asks.
Roxas nods. “Back when I was in Sora’s heart, I could see you, but only sometimes.”
“You could see? You were awake?”
“Sometimes.” Roxas readjusts the comforter over his shoulders and frowns. “It was like waking up to a dream. I could see things but I had no way to do anything,” he adds with frustration. “I saw you.”
“You did? When?” he asks, too eager, then grimaces. He thinks of some of the things he’s done. They’re no worse than what he did early in his tenure at the Organization, but some of the things that he did when he had a heart, because he had a heart, weren’t things he’d want Roxas to see. He just wanted to see Roxas again, but he didn’t know how.
“You were hurting. I understand.”
“I really missed you.”
“Yeah, I got that feeling.” Roxas smirks like a little punk.
“Don’t make fun of me!” Axel says, pushing into Roxas’ side.
“I’m not!” Roxas pushes him back. Something in the air settles. “I just want to see you through my own eyes. And to thank you, Axel.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Roxas.”
“You never gave up on m e, or forgot. Not even when I didn’t remember who you were. You were the only one.”
“It’s like I told you: I’d miss you. And I did. I’m not someone who forgets.” He leans back on the couch, hands behind his head, and looks up at the ceiling.
“Yeah, you’ve got it memorized.”
“I don’t want you to thank me. Just the fact that you’re here is thanks enough. Xion, too.”
Axel peeks down at Roxas, who smiles. “I’d thank you, but you just told me not to.”
They sit together in companionable silence for a minute, then two. Finally, Axel says, “You need some rest. Go to bed, Roxas.”
Abruptly, Roxas stands up. He pulls the comforter off of his shoulders and lays it out on the ground in front of the couch. “Here.”
“Roxas?”
“Grab your pillow. I’ll run back and grab mine. We can lay down here.” Before Axel can tell Roxas that he should go back and sleep in the comfortable bed that Axel has so kindly provided for him, Roxas scurries off to his room.
Rolling his eyes, Axel takes the pillow off of the couch and puts it on top of the comforter. Then, he grabs the blanket he’s been using and lays it out, too. Moments later, Roxas reappears with his pillows and completes their makeshift nest on the floor. When it’s to his liking, he plops down, looks up at Axel, then pats the space next to him.
Axel shakes his head, but slinks down to the ground and lays on the comforter next to Roxas. His feet don’t dangle off.
When they’re settled, it goes quiet. Axel can hear the hustle and bustle of Twilight Town outside of his window. The trolley station is still up and running, and every so often he can hear someone speak or a door close. But he can also hear Roxas breathing next to him, louder than the world outside of their little nest. It’s… nice. Very nice. And it’s soothing, so soothing that Axel’s eyes start to droop closed for the first time since he started trying to go to sleep.
“I think I got used to having another heart nearby,” Roxas says into the darkness.
Axel’s eyes open. “What?”
“I could hear Sora’s heart, I think. It’s hard to tell now, what really happened. Even though it was a day ago, it feels like it was all just a long dream.” He pauses. “Part of me doesn’t want to go to sleep, just in case I don’t wake up here. I appreciate Sora and everything he’s done for me, but I don’t want to go back.”
“You’re here now. I’m never letting you outta my sight again. Got it memorized?”
Roxas shifts so he’s facing Axel. Axel turns his head so that he can just make out Roxas’ smile with the light filtering in through the blinds. “I missed you the whole time,” Roxas says.
Axel feels his eyes fill with tears again. He tries blinking them back, but he can feel a few slip down. “Yeah?”
Roxas hums in agreement. “I think that’s why I could always tell when you were nearby. It wasn’t the same with anyone else. I think I could feel your heart. Does that sound crazy?”
“No,” Axel says, thinking of the way he was pulled to Sora, the stupid things he did for a guy he barely knew. “I think I could feel yours, too.”
“Is that what love is?” Roxas asks.
“I don’t know for sure,” Axel admits.
“I think that’s what love is,” Roxas says.
Axel can’t help but agree.
They spend a few minutes just watching each other. It’s nice to see that Roxas is here, that he’s solid, that he’s real. It feels like so long since they’ve been alone together, but it’s still so easy. Nothing’s changed except for everything, but it doesn’t matter. It’s easier to be with Roxas than anyone else in the world.
Roxas is still Roxas and still the person who made his heart start beating.
Roxas pulls in close to Axel, resting his ear on Axel’s chest, just over his heart. “I want to hear it beating,” he explains.
Axel nods, a jerky, awkward movement. He’s afraid that any other motion, that any other sound will change this moment between them.
And he doesn’t want the moment to end.
But there’s a whole stretch of time in front of them. Maybe this moment will end, but there will be another. And another after that, too.
They just need to be brave, is all, to face all of that together.
“Goodnight Axel,” Roxas says in a soft voice between even breaths.
“Goodnight.”